How black men approach women

[cmperez]

I'm fairly new to this forum but have alway been impressed with all of the intelligent ladies participating. So that being said, I thought I'd throw something out here...

I'm walking to my car today going to lunch. There was a meeting ending so there were a lot of people going to their cars as well. I pass about two or three black men talking near one of their cars. I'm almost to my car when a I hear a car pulling up along side of me. The window rolls down and I get the "do you work here, how long have you worked here, what's your name, etc"... Now I have a couple of questions for you ladies... why do you think black men feel it's okay to approach a women this way. The reason I say black men is because I've hardly ever observed white men do this but I do see black men do it all of the time. Or they'll try and wave and talk to you at a traffic light... My next question is do you mind when this happens to you? I know I myself HATE it. I think it's rude. What do you all think?

 

[Recovering Weave-aholic]

Honestly, I didn't mind it when I was younger. But I was 18, far too excited to be at a club and getting holla'd at by some fool in a Lac was the ultimate goal--came with the territory of "parking lot pimpin." Fast forward 8 years and I HATE it. If a man is genuinely interested he can park his car and approach me correctly.

 

[janiebaby]

I think that socio-economic status may have alot to do with it. When I lived in a predominantly white lower middle class neighborhood white guys used to approach me the same way.

 

[cmperez]

I think that socio-economic status may have alot to do with it. When I lived in a predominantly white lower middle class neighborhood white guys used to approach me the same way.

That makes sense.... I guess it bothered me even more because I was at work and they were leaving a work meeting. I work for the local utility company which is considered a government job and they do as well. Not only that but these were older men too!

 

[cmperez]

Honestly, I didn't mind it when I was younger. But I was 18, far too excited to be at a club and getting holla'd at by some fool in a Lac was the ultimate goal--came with the territory of "parking lot pimpin." Fast forward 8 years and I HATE it. If a man is genuinely interested he can park his car and approach me correctly.

True... I remember that.

He better be careful rollin up on females... he might get pepper sprayed.

 

[Country gal]

I would venture to say that black men tend to approach women more. They don't seem as intimidated when striking up a conversation with a woman.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I'm fairly new to this forum but have alway been impressed with all of the intelligent ladies participating. So that being said, I thought I'd throw something out here...

I'm walking to my car today going to lunch. There was a meeting ending so there were a lot of people going to their cars as well. I pass about two or three black men talking near one of their cars. I'm almost to my car when a I hear a car pulling up along side of me. The window rolls down and I get the "do you work here, how long have you worked here, what's your name, etc"... Now I have a couple of questions for you ladies... why do you think black men feel it's okay to approach a women this way. The reason I say black men is because I've hardly ever observed white men do this but I do see black men do it all of the time. Or they'll try and wave and talk to you at a traffic light... My next question is do you mind when this happens to you? I know I myself HATE it. I think it's rude. What do you all think?

It is rude as hell! I get so tired of "hey ma" and all of this, even the brothers in suits down here be doing that!erplexed

 

[Xavier]

If they are polite I don't mind. But you know that it all depends on whether the guy is fine or *****.

 

[janiebaby]

Yeah I hear you. I understand not wanting to let someone get away but the way people go about it is sometimes "cowardly" (I'm going to do as little as possible so that I don't get played).

 

[tocktick]

this kind of behaviour can't be applied to all black men. some hispanic men and europeans (e.g - italians and spaniards) are notorious for boldly approaching women. i don't view it as strictly a black man issue but a rude man one.

i've had black men approach me respectfully, i think the ones who do are generally quite intelligent and well presented. they don't want to disgrace themselves. the guys hanging out on the street or in their friend's car with nothing to do but hit on every woman who pass them are the ones i pay no mind to. i don't let that group of dummies blur my perception of all black men.

 

[cmperez]

this kind of behaviour can't be applied to all black men. some hispanic men and europeans (e.g - italians and spaniards) are notorious for boldly approaching women. i don't view it as strictly a black man issue but a rude man one.

i've had black men approach me respectfully, i think the ones who do are generally quite intelligent and well presented. they don't want to disgrace themselves. the guys hanging out on the street or in their friend's car with nothing to do but hit on every woman who pass them are the ones i pay no mind to. i don't let that group of dummies blur my perception of all black men.

True. Don't get me wrong... I don't think it's all black men or just black men. With me that's just been the case.

 

[cmperez]

If they are polite I don't mind. But you know that it all depends on whether the guy is fine or *****.

I know right? They're never, ever attractive... I know I'm no Tyra Banks but I ain't busted either...

 

[PatTodd]

Black men from shall we say, a lower socioeconomic class, have always approached me like that - how you doing, can I go etc. When I was on my way out to lunch once, one guy say to me, "damn baby, you look like you got a job with benefiss."

I would never take anyone seriously who stepped to me like that, but I always speak back because otherwise you get called a b-tch. Plus you never know when a brotha is crazy.

 

[cmperez]

Black men from shall we say, a lower socioeconomic class, have always approached me like that - how you doing, can I go etc. When I was on my way out to lunch once, one guy say to me, "damn baby, you look like you got a job with benefiss."

I would never take anyone seriously who stepped to me like that, but I always speak back because otherwise you get called a b-tch. Plus you never know when a brotha is crazy.

benefiss... LMAO.

I know that's right. Sad that it's gotta be that way. I have a friend who grew up in Houston and she said when she was about 17 or 18 about 2 or 3 brothas beat her like a dog in the street because they tried to talk to her and she just kept walking... she said no one intervened to stop it either.

 

[Browndilocks]

I'm fairly new to this forum but have alway been impressed with all of the intelligent ladies participating. So that being said, I thought I'd throw something out here...

I'm walking to my car today going to lunch. There was a meeting ending so there were a lot of people going to their cars as well. I pass about two or three black men talking near one of their cars. I'm almost to my car when a I hear a car pulling up along side of me. The window rolls down and I get the "do you work here, how long have you worked here, what's your name, etc"... Now I have a couple of questions for you ladies... why do you think black men feel it's okay to approach a women this way. The reason I say black men is because I've hardly ever observed white men do this but I do see black men do it all of the time. Or they'll try and wave and talk to you at a traffic light... My next question is do you mind when this happens to you? I know I myself HATE it. I think it's rude. What do you all think?

I completely understand what you're saying and I agree with you. It's to a point where if it seems like I have to walk past some Black men in the street I do whatever I can to avoid it. As soon as you pass them you know there's going to be an "Uhh excuse me". Just being honest.

 

[cmperez]

I completely understand what you're saying and I agree with you. It's to a point where if it seems like I have to walk past some Black men in the street I do whatever I can to avoid it. As soon as you pass them you know there's going to be an "Uhh excuse me". Just being honest.

It's true though. Before I walked out to my car I waited inside for a little bit because I honestly didn't feel like dealing with it. Once I passed them and they didn't say anything I was surprised and felt a little sheepish about assuming that they'd try & holla but then... dun, dun, dun.... they ended up proving me right... erplexed

 

[chicacanella]

Black men from shall we say, a lower socioeconomic class, have always approached me like that - how you doing, can I go etc. When I was on my way out to lunch once, one guy say to me, "damn baby, you look like you got a job with benefiss."

I would never take anyone seriously who stepped to me like that, but I always speak back because otherwise you get called a b-tch. Plus you never know when a brotha is crazy.

Yes, girl. I know what you mean. I was at the mall one day recently w/ one of my friends adn this guy says, "Excuse me, excuse me Miss." I say, "Umm, X this guy wants to speak to you."I know he could've been trying to speak to either want of us but I didn't want to be bothered. So, my friend says, "He wants you." I say, "Uh, I don't know you." He says, "I know you don't know me but I want to get to know you!" I say, "Well, I don't think my boyfriend would like that." He says, "I'm not trying to know your boyfriend...." and just goes off. I was scurred to say the least. The whole time in the mall, I'm watching my back. I thought saying boyfriend was an easy way to let someone down...I guess not.erplexed

 

[MzLady78]

I think that socio-economic status may have alot to do with it. When I lived in a predominantly white lower middle class neighborhood white guys used to approach me the same way.

Yep.

To be honest, I really think that A LOT of the issues we talk about on here with regard to BM are more about socio-economic status than race.

 

[Millahdoowop]

benefiss... LMAO.

I know that's right. Sad that it's gotta be that way. I have a friend who grew up in Houston and she said when she was about 17 or 18 about 2 or 3 brothas beat her like a dog in the street because they tried to talk to her and she just kept walking... she said no one intervened to stop it either.

Get the *** outta here!!!! I use to hear stories like that, but my attitudinal self would keep on with the same ish and pretend like I didn't hear them yelling at me to come across the street. Or I do something retarded like say "No habla espanol.", to try and turn a guy off. Men are so damn simple. I'm glad no one tried to hurt me for not talking to them.

 

[cmperez]

Get the *** outta here!!!! I use to hear stories like that, but my attitudinal self would keep on with the same ish and pretend like I didn't hear them yelling at me to come across the street. Or I do something retarded like say "No habla espanol.", to try and turn a guy off. Men are so damn simple. I'm glad no one tried to hurt me for not talking to them.

I've been fortunate enough where that hasn't happened to me either cause I know I give some crusty looks. I can handle being called a ***** but then it's on

 

[chokolate miss]

handle being called a ***** but then it's on [/quote]

i'm from cleveland and that is nothing new. when i was younger the guys would roll up on you in their cars. and say "do you need a ride?" or "hey sexy, why your man have you walkin'?" you know something like that. and they when you say "no thank you" you would get an earfull of "**** you then h*e. you were't that cute anyway. i was just trying to ****!" and we would just look at them like what?!?! and kept it moving!
it made no sense. as an adult that has not happened to me. but it might be that i'm no longer walking, lol!

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

In my experience, Latino men do it just as much as black men. And older Euros also cat call black women like they get paid to do it. So it's not just black men ....

Regardless of the colour of the man who does it, it's rude and tired and I don't pay any attention to it. Never have, and never will.

 

[Sasha Fierce]

Just wanted to add I had this old Euro stop me at a traffic light. Come to find out this same guy had tried to flag down two of my friends as well. It was funny cause me and my friends were talking and one brought up that an old white guy had flagged her down. I said "that happened to me too". Another friend said "me too". Come to find out when we all described him..our descriptions all lined up exactly the same! He is busy!

 

[facets]

Cheesy and lazy come in all shades/flavors.

Co-sign on the socio-eco factor here.

Way back in the olden days when I used to be cute, I'd just keep walking/driving.

 

[Syrah]

I'm fairly new to this forum but have alway been impressed with all of the intelligent ladies participating. So that being said, I thought I'd throw something out here...

I'm walking to my car today going to lunch. There was a meeting ending so there were a lot of people going to their cars as well. I pass about two or three black men talking near one of their cars. I'm almost to my car when a I hear a car pulling up along side of me. The window rolls down and I get the "do you work here, how long have you worked here, what's your name, etc"... Now I have a couple of questions for you ladies... why do you think black men feel it's okay to approach a women this way. The reason I say black men is because I've hardly ever observed white men do this but I do see black men do it all of the time. Or they'll try and wave and talk to you at a traffic light... My next question is do you mind when this happens to you? I know I myself HATE it. I think it's rude. What do you all think?

This thread should be "how IMMATURE men approach women".

What you experienced isn't a symptom of being "male" + "black" but being "male" + "immature". And immaturity is independent of age.

And yes, white boys will holler through the car.

 

[facets]

a famous example..


@ 0:28



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71yTOUicmEY&NR=1

This thread should be "how IMMATURE men approach women".

What you experienced isn't a symptom of being "male" + "black" but being "male" + "immature". And immaturity is independent of age.

And yes, white boys will holler through the car.

 

[TooCute]

If they are polite I don't mind. But you know that it all depends on whether the guy is fine or *****.

Exactly.


Also, what cmperez said doesn't seem that terrible to me. But copping and attitude/calling me out of my name because I'm not interested, unacceptable.

 

[cmperez]

Exactly.


Also, what cmperez said doesn't seem that terrible to me. But copping and attitude/calling me out of my name because I'm not interested, unacceptable.

Maybe it's not all that terrible... maybe it was just one of those days and I just didn't feel like being bothered at all-- by anyone.

 

[cmperez]

This thread should be "how IMMATURE men approach women".

What you experienced isn't a symptom of being "male" + "black" but being "male" + "immature". And immaturity is independent of age.

And yes, white boys will holler through the car.

Some must never mature then b/c I've had some old a*s men trying to holla out of car windows.

 

[cmperez]

handle being called a ***** but then it's on

i'm from cleveland and that is nothing new. when i was younger the guys would roll up on you in their cars. and say "do you need a ride?" or "hey sexy, why your man have you walkin'?" you know something like that. and they when you say "no thank you" you would get an earfull of "**** you then h*e. you were't that cute anyway. i was just trying to ****!" and we would just look at them like what?!?! and kept it moving!
it made no sense. as an adult that has not happened to me. but it might be that i'm no longer walking, lol![/QUOTE]

Oh yeah... I remember the "**** you then"...