he wants to go on holiday with another woman

[latebloomer]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

 

[Spongie Bloom]

for me it would be a straight up NU UH!!going where?? with who?? Hayle NO infact you are letting him off easy by still calling him your SO cause if he was mine he would be let go the moment he asked

 

[itismehmmkay]

perplexed

 

[heyfranz]

My BF would not ask me that because he knows i would end the relationship if he even asked. That being said, if i found out he went without asking, it would be over, and no - he doesn't get "rewarded" for being appropriate, but since this issue came up, it's time to re-evaluate your "relationship"

 

[spelmanlocks]

no it was rude of him to ask. he should give you a token of appreciation for not dropping him.

 

[MzLady78]

You're better than me. He'd be ex-BF.

I'm curious as to why he would even think he could fix his mouth to ask you something like that.

 

[dlewis]

I only read the first paragraph. perplexedperplexederplexed

Why are you puting up with this?

My man would never ask me no craziness like that. This is insane!!!

 

[Lady Esquire]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

You two argued over this? What kind of argument would he have in favor of this?

He decided not to go? There should never have been a choice in the first place. The fact that he decided not to go, means nothing.

DH knows, even while dating, he could never fix his mouth with this, and vice versa.

There are only 2 people in a relationship. So, he clearly is not on the same page with you. If this was an option for him, a possibility, then rethink things.

 

[MzLady78]

I only read the first paragraph. perplexedperplexederplexed

Why are you puting up with this?

My man would never ask me no craziness like that. This is insane!!!

That's why I asked what would make him think he could ask something like that.

That's not normal.

 

[Nalin]

I swear some men are a trip! I find it very disrespectful that he would even ask you such a thing!

I would be hurt, pissed, and suddenly single if my man asked me if it was ok for him to vacay with another female!

 

[dlewis]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

Sacrifice??!!

He didn't go because he's in a relationship with you and that's a sacrifice?

I must be getting old?

 

[Vanity1]

I only read the first sentence. HAYLE NO.

That shouldnt even be up for discussion.

Ask him if you can go on holiday with a man, he wouldn't like that too much.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Sacrifice??!!

He didn't go because he's in a relationship with you and that's a sacrifice?

I must be getting old?

Its the sacrifice part that had me thinking...."say what now?"

This is black and white.

OP, you say it took a long time for him to treat you right. Seems he's back to his old ways with this one. Very uncool. Very.

 

[Allandra]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

This isn't the type of thing my fiance would do. I honestly don't know any ladies who has a man that would ask such a thing.

How long have you two been dating?

 

[Shimmie]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship.

After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice.

I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

I thought I was 'pissed' off at the first part, 'him going away with someone else, but the bolded has really set me off.

The only thing you owe him is NOTHING! If anything it is HE who owes you for even staying with him. He needs to crawl and beg for your forgiveness on top of being called a fool. And a 'fool' he is, indeed.

I feel so badly for you. This is not what you deserve. Men aren't hard to find, trust me they aren't. I collect them.

I'd find someone new and dump him........ mid - air from the flight attendant's airline. Give him a parasol for a parachute.

The Nerve! The rotten Nerve!

 

[watchmegrow]

@#$%##$^% HIM !

 

[Shimmie]

Sacrifice??!!

He didn't go because he's in a relationship with you and that's a sacrifice?

I must be getting old?

No, he's just stupid. The only sacrafice that was ever made was Jesus dying on the cross (which included fools like him), and this man ain't no where near Jesus.

That's his problem. He's needs a holiday with the Lord.

 

[dlewis]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

 

[locabouthair]

My BF would not ask me that because he knows i would end the relationship if he even asked. That being said, if i found out he went without asking, it would be over, and no - he doesn't get "rewarded" for being appropriate, but since this issue came up, it's time to re-evaluate your "relationship"

I really think you need to do the bolded.

No offense to you, OP but the whole time I'm reading your post, I'm like wth?? especially when you wrote that he thinks she wifey material. why would he tell you that and does he mean that your not wifey material???

PLEASE RE EVALUATE!!

 

[Shimmie]

@#$%##$^% HIM !

Well you done told him a thing or two...

 

[andrea]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

AMEN , AMEN, AMEN..

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

He wasn't very respectful of you to even ask such a thing, and if he was bold enough to come out of his mouth with that nonsense, then you're in for a long roller-coaster ride with this joker.

 

[dlewis]

I really think you need to do the bolded.

No offense to you, OP but the whole time I'm reading your post, I'm like wth?? especially when you wrote that he thinks she wifey material. why would he tell you that and does he mean that your not wifey material???

PLEASE RE EVALUATE!!

And why is she with him, wasted 4 years of her life on a man that's has no interntions of marrying her.

 

[Shimmie]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

Darn straight you are indeed a gift to him. You're a gourmet cook; you fill your home with love and warmth. You, even put his juice in the 'freezer'.

ETA: I came back to fix all of those typos I made.

 

[MzLady78]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

I believe it, too!

 

[A.Marie]

That's your ticket to leave. Why even put up with this kind of behavior? It will only get worst if you marry him. Run and run fast.

 

[A.Marie]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

Preach on sistah!

 

[Lady Esquire]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

A LOT of women do not feel that way, and are with a man because they are appreciative of that fact alone...simply having one.

 

[dlewis]

Darn straight you are indeed a gift to him. You're a gourment cook; fill your home with love and warm. You, even put his juice in the 'freezer'.

I met one of his co-worker recently and she said she teases him about is lunch plate and asks him why he don't cook for me, what does he do for me, etc....

he said "I take care of all outside work and I do what she asks of me and return she provides a home for me and my children. A place that always smells good and that's filled with love." I thought that was sweet that he thinks of me like that. I could have cried when she told me that.

 

[dlewis]

I believe it, too!

Girl, this type of stuff is what gives people bad nerves.