He said lets go out to eat but he didnt have any money

[locabouthair]

This happened to me when I was 18/19. The guy I was dating was 23. We were walking around and he said lets go in that restaurant and get something to eat.

So we went, we didnt order much. I think I only ordered a salad. So then he says to me oh I forgot my wallet with a smirk on his face

Now back then I was naive, like I said I was 18. I was like erplexed and then I was like whatever I'll pay for it. I didnt curse him out or tell him off or anything. Now I think back about it 7 years later and I'm like that was messed up. If that happened to me today I would have handled completely differently. I definitely wouldn't be the nice girl I was before.

My question is what would you have done in that situation? Did something like that happen to you and how did you react?

 

[poookie]

this has happened to me before, with a former boyfriend. i was naive at the time, and assumed he had earnestly forgotten to bring his wallet. i didn't even consider the fact that he may have been trying to hustle a free meal out of me.

if this were to happen to me now, i would pay for MY meal, and leave. poookie don't play dat.

 

[MissYocairis]

My question is what would you have done in that situation? Did something like that happen to you and how did you react?

Yes, something like this happened to me. Raggedy azs negro invited ME out for dinner and a movie. Well, the movie was sold out so we purchased tickets for the next show and decided to eat first at a nearby Fridays. This fool tells me on the way to the restaurant that he isn't hungry and will probably just have water. So, I'm like, "erm, huh moffo?" So he says, "I'm not hungry. I ate at home." I was like....wth? WHY? Why invite me to dinner and then eat before we go to dinner?

That was simply our last date. He paid for my food. He didnt' order ****. I was so disgusted. I never answered his calls again.

Had another dude who had his credit/debit card DECLINED after lunch....that he invited ME to. Again, that was our first and last date. I don't do "dutch".

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

I haven't had anything like this happen to me but I already know what my response will be, "oh, really, guess we won't be eating"

 

[FluffyRed]

It happened to me.

This guy who normally dated yt girls, I later heard.

We would be out somewhere, he would ask if I wanted something, then say he "forgot" his wallet.

I said, "I forgot my purse."

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I did not jump to any conclusion on that.

But I made sure to forget my purse *every* time I would see him.

Then dropped his a$$ after two more attempts.

 

[Jenibo]

"Go out to eat, he can't pay yall can't leave. It's dishes in the back you gotta roll up your sleeves"- Gold Digger (Kanye West)

I would switch the lyrics around to where HE can't leave, but i can and while he rolling up his sleeves i'm throwin up dueces!

 

[jada1111]

This never happened to me with a guy, but with a girl. Someone I thought was a friend.

It was along time ago. I had called to ask if she wanted to have dinner after work and she said yes. We meet up at the chinese restaurant. We both order our food, when finished the waitress gives us the check. So I said to her that mine comes out to $9 and her meal was $11.

This chick said to me "I don't have any money. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO TO DINNER. I thought you were treating."

I didn't say anything. I was younger than she was and believe it or not I had respect for her. Not after that night. I paid for our meals. Continued to smile, chat and pretend everything was alright, but that was the beginning of the end for us. That was ghetto shady. Had she told me in the very beginning that she didn't have any money, I probably would have offered to treat, but the way she did it was just... too ghetto for words.

See, what got me about th situation is what if I didn't have enough for the both of us? She had no way to know that, since she didn't tell me that she didn't have any money. We could have both been f____ked and then what?

Needless to say I never went anywhere with her again after that and if she asked me for money, I was always broke. Don't remember if she did, but I would have made sure to say I didn't have any just in case. Broke *itch.

As far as man pulling that mess, especially TODAY, I would only pay MY part of the bill and KIM. I seriously wish a **** would pull that *ish.

 

[ThickHair]

This never happened to me with a guy, but with a girl. Someone I thought was a friend.

It was along time ago. I had called to ask if she wanted to have dinner after work and she said yes. We meet up at the chinese restaurant. We both order our food, when finished the waitress gives us the check. So I said to her that mine comes out to $9 and her meal was $11.

This chick said to me "I don't have any money. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO TO DINNER. I thought you were treating."

.

IMHO, you ask her out to dinner and you should have paid.

 

[FluffyRed]

IMHO, you ask her out to dinner and you should have paid.

Women, unless they are dating, don't have this understanding.

I've never asked someone to lunch or dinner (female) and paid just because I suggested it. We switch off.

 

[natstar]

Women, unless they are dating, don't have this understanding.

I've never asked someone to lunch or dinner (female) and paid just because I suggested it. We switch off.

I agree- I always bring $$$ along when my firend invites me out. If they decide to pay for me-cool...but I don't automatically assume they will foot the bill.

Getting back to the OP topic- I have a had this happen a couple times- and these boys lost major respect from me. How trifiling! Negro, if you can't at LEAST pay YOUR way, DON'T GO OUT!!

 

[barbiesocialite]

oh HELL NAW!

i didn't even tolerate that nonsense from women let alone a man. I would have said "oh thats unfortunate hun," rolled out and found myself a cab leaving him to figure out how he was going to pay that bill....

I wish a ninja would ......

If my man is driving and I need to go to walgreens, I have no shame in putting out my hand and saying "well....." He loves me though and makes fun of my damself in distress act I pull on him lol

 

[jada1111]

IMHO, you ask her out to dinner and you should have paid.

I wasn't asking her "out" to dinner. It was more like "hey girl, you wanna have dinner at so and so?" We did this before and we always paid our own way. The way she did it this time was wrong.

Most people tell you that they don't have any money first before accepting an invitation. It's just common decency. The person asking you to dinner will either offer to pay or say they don't have it for two.

 

[jada1111]

Women, unless they are dating, don't have this understanding.

I've never asked someone to lunch or dinner (female) and paid just because I suggested it. We switch off.

Thanks FluffyRed. Homegirl was shady with how she did it and she knew it.

 

[TayMac]

This has never happened to me before but I'm sure some women allow it to be done again and again otherwise these fools wouldn't thinks it's ok/cool. I always have money for myself though.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Women, unless they are dating, don't have this understanding.

I've never asked someone to lunch or dinner (female) and paid just because I suggested it. We switch off.

ITA. I don't expect my friends to pay regardless of who suggested hanging out or dinner. Unless they insist on taking me out on them prior to dinner, and are pressed to pay I assume I'm paying for my own food & drinks. Anyone who thinks just bc a friend to pay just bc they initiated going somewhere must not have many friends they hang with too often

Men are another story. In general i disagree with women initiating dates or "when's the next time I'm going to see you," so unless he is my SO and it's his birthday or christmas I expect him to pay every time.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

That has never happened to me but I recall that a singer (Tamia maybe?) said her now husband forgot his wallet on their first date. It was legit though and I think he went home later to get his wallet.

 

[Bunny77]

That has never happened to me but I recall that a singer (Tamia maybe?) said her now husband forgot his wallet on their first date. It was legit though and I think he went home later to get his wallet.

Grant Hill forgot his wallet?

If he said it, I'd believe him. Grant seems like a good guy.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Yep, it was Tamia and Grant Hill. Funny, I recalled her name but not his.

He did it on purpose though as a test. They were both already wealthy and famous at the time.

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/Lounge/9393/appear.html

"Vibe (April 10, 1998):
Tamia appeared on the nighttime talkshow Vibe in which she performed and did an interview with host Sinbad. She performed Imagination which included Jermaine Dupri doing his rap part. She started off sitting in a chair (same as the one in the Imagination video) and then got up and danced with her four back-up dancers. After that, she did an interview with Sinbad. This has to be one of the best interviews I've seen of Tamia because she seemed laid back and cool. Sinbad surprised her by showing a clip of her when she was about 12 years old, singing the Whitney Houston song You Give Good Love (she even sounded good as a child!). She revealed that it was Anita Baker who hooked up her with Grant Hill, and that on their first date, he intentionally forgot his wallet to test her. At the end of the interview, Sinbad requested that Tamia sing a little of You Put A Move On My Heart because it touched him so much. She sang it so perfectly even though it was on the spot (which proves that she is not one of those "studio-produced/edited" singers, this girl has talent!) I don't know if this is the same as other parts of North America or if it was only on my local TV station (in Buffalo, NY), but right after Tamia's appearance on Vibe, they immediately showed a commercial (sponsored by Camelot Music) for Tamia's new album, in which they showed the cover image of her new album and the video for Imagination. I just thought it was cool that this happened..."

 

[Bunny77]

Yep, it was Tamia and Grant Hill. Funny, I recalled her name but not his.

He did it on purpose though as a test. They were both already wealthy and famous at the time.

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/Lounge/9393/appear.html

"Vibe (April 10, 1998):
Tamia appeared on the nighttime talkshow Vibe in which she performed and did an interview with host Sinbad. She performed Imagination which included Jermaine Dupri doing his rap part. She started off sitting in a chair (same as the one in the Imagination video) and then got up and danced with her four back-up dancers. After that, she did an interview with Sinbad. This has to be one of the best interviews I've seen of Tamia because she seemed laid back and cool. Sinbad surprised her by showing a clip of her when she was about 12 years old, singing the Whitney Houston song You Give Good Love (she even sounded good as a child!). She revealed that it was Anita Baker who hooked up her with Grant Hill, and that on their first date, he intentionally forgot his wallet to test her. At the end of the interview, Sinbad requested that Tamia sing a little of You Put A Move On My Heart because it touched him so much. She sang it so perfectly even though it was on the spot (which proves that she is not one of those "studio-produced/edited" singers, this girl has talent!) I don't know if this is the same as other parts of North America or if it was only on my local TV station (in Buffalo, NY), but right after Tamia's appearance on Vibe, they immediately showed a commercial (sponsored by Camelot Music) for Tamia's new album, in which they showed the cover image of her new album and the video for Imagination. I just thought it was cool that this happened..."

UGH, I'm mad that he did that as a test though. It's not like she was some common groupie chick trying to snag a baller...

Glad it worked out though in the end for both people!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Yep, it was Tamia and Grant Hill. Funny, I recalled her name but not his.

He did it on purpose though as a test. They were both already wealthy and famous at the time.

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/Lounge/9393/appear.html

"Vibe (April 10, 1998):
Tamia appeared on the nighttime talkshow Vibe in which she performed and did an interview with host Sinbad. She performed Imagination which included Jermaine Dupri doing his rap part. She started off sitting in a chair (same as the one in the Imagination video) and then got up and danced with her four back-up dancers. After that, she did an interview with Sinbad. This has to be one of the best interviews I've seen of Tamia because she seemed laid back and cool. Sinbad surprised her by showing a clip of her when she was about 12 years old, singing the Whitney Houston song You Give Good Love (she even sounded good as a child!). She revealed that it was Anita Baker who hooked up her with Grant Hill, and that on their first date, he intentionally forgot his wallet to test her. At the end of the interview, Sinbad requested that Tamia sing a little of You Put A Move On My Heart because it touched him so much. She sang it so perfectly even though it was on the spot (which proves that she is not one of those "studio-produced/edited" singers, this girl has talent!) I don't know if this is the same as other parts of North America or if it was only on my local TV station (in Buffalo, NY), but right after Tamia's appearance on Vibe, they immediately showed a commercial (sponsored by Camelot Music) for Tamia's new album, in which they showed the cover image of her new album and the video for Imagination. I just thought it was cool that this happened..."

I would have failed with flying colors! lol

I think his test was really mean, inconsiderate and deceptive though.

thank goodness I won't have to worry about these sorts of things anymore...

 

[Bunny77]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

I agree with you somewhat if the man and a woman are in an established relationship and that's the agreement they've reached.

Otherwise, tn the early stages of getting to know each other, I don't do 50/50. Don't plan on it, and haven't had a problem with it in my dating life. If he asks me out and is trying to pursue me, he will pay.

As for the recession, maybe that just means that dudes who can't afford to date either need to change up their style to do things more economically or sit out of the dating game until they get their finances together. Dating ain't a right.

 

[barbiesocialite]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

ha!

"monkey see, monkey do"

let FH--or any man if i were single-- try to pull an antic on me like that, I'm going to pull the same thing when he wants to know whats for dinner or when he wakes me up outa my sleep wanting some _____________

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Yea someone tried that.

HE wanted to meet up at my job. Then he doesn't have his car... for some reason. So we walked all the way to the movie theatre, and he doesn't have money. Looks at me and mentions that he said he didn't have money. Well... I didn't have any for him either. I was 17, he was 28 or 29. I walked home... and he followed me, made up some lame excuse to my father about being a construction worker... and sat in my living room, uninvited, and watched TV until he got a ride.

Scrrrruuuuuuuub.

I would have made it a point to tell him to leave BUT he was/is crazy and I'll leave it at that.

 

[Denise11]

Women, unless they are dating, don't have this understanding.

I've never asked someone to lunch or dinner (female) and paid just because I suggested it. We switch off.

That's not always true. I think it depends on how close the friends are. Very close friends and female relatives do this often.

.........and it sounded, to me too, like She was asking her out, and was going to pay.

 

[VelvetRain]

I don't like when men do this. I mean afterall if you ask me out why the hell should I be paying. I guess we wouldn't be eating at all.

 

[rickysrose]

If a man has an issue with paying for something as simple as food, then that tells me to expect financial problems that I don't want to be involved with. Grown men should be self-sufficient and at least be able to "provide" a meal ... at the least be upfront and not pull a fast one when the bill comes.

For me everything about relationships, personal or professional, has to do with intention ... why is he/she doing this? If the why is to disrespect, cheat or embarass me, that is a relationship I can do without.

 

[jada1111]

That's not always true. I think it depends on how close the friends are. Very close friends and female relatives do this often.

.........and it sounded, to me too, like She was asking her out, and was going to pay.

No, she KNEW I wasn't offering to treat. I never did before and she never treated me. Why would this change all of a sudden? When she would pay with her cc, I'd give her the cash version of my meal.

This is not discounting your relationships with the females in your life, but MOST people will "assume" unless told otherwise that they're going to have to put out for their own meal. If they don't have it, they'll say it, then it could be decided from there what to do.

Put it this way, this has never happened to me with another female (family included) since that time.

 

[Denise11]

Okay, I see your point. You and she didn't have that type of relationship. You both always paid for your own meals.

Well then, I think you're right. She should have known that she was to pay for her own meal. She was wrong and low down for that.

No, she KNEW I wasn't offering to treat. I never did before and she never treated me. Why would this change all of a sudden? When she would pay with her cc, I'd give her the cash version of my meal.

This is not discounting your relationships with the females in your life, but MOST people will "assume" unless told otherwise that they're going to have to put out for their own meal. If they don't have it, they'll say it, then it could be decided from there what to do.

Put it this way, this has never happened to me with another female (family included) since that time.

 

[TayMac]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

If he can't afford dinner, then he shouldn't ask me out. That said..if it's going to be 50/50 it should be stated ahead of time not any "I forgot my wallet" games. That's NOT fair. That's shady IMO.