He said lets go out to eat but he didnt have any money

[Keen]

This guy invited me to breakfast then asked if it was OK to go dutch. I'm not originally from the US so I don't know all the idioms. I thought he wanted to go to a dutch restaurant. I told my roommate about it and she couldn't stop laughing. I canceled. Breakfast is not that expensive and it was to be a date. That was about 8 years ago. My roommate still laugh about that to this day.

 

[skegeesmb]

Ha! I never had that happen to me, but I always made sure to ask: "You do have money right?!? Because I have just enough for me." I made sure they had money. I was a broke college student. I wasn't playing that.

 

[Bachelorette]

Depends on how long we've been seeing each other.

The whole "he must always pay" BS is gross to me.

 

[rickysrose]

For me it isn't a matter of him always paying but more disgust at the shook and jive ... why play tricks about something as basic as food.

 

[locabouthair]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

I dont/didnt depend on a guy to pay all the time. Thats why no matter who I date I always make sure I have extra money.

I have no problem going 50/50. But what he did was shady. Why couldnt he suggest we split it?

If he can't afford dinner, then he shouldn't ask me out. That said..if it's going to be 50/50 it should be stated ahead of time not any "I forgot my wallet" games. That's NOT fair. That's shady IMO.

Thank you!!

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Once my friend and I met these two guys and went on a double date. We drove separate cars (which in hind sight was smart) and when we had finished our meals, one causually got up and the other soon followed. We sat there like chumps for a few minutes, then the waiter told us what was up (he'd been watching them and I guess knew what they were planning). He was really nice though, the restaurant covered our meal. But that really made us feel like "mud ducks"

 

[panamoni]

Once my friend and I met these two guys and went on a double date. We drove separate cars (which in hind sight was smart) and when we had finished our meals, one causually got up and the other soon followed. We sat there like chumps for a few minutes, then the waiter told us what was up (he'd been watching them and I guess knew what they were planning). He was really nice though, the restaurant covered our meal. But that really made us feel like "mud ducks"

I'm sorry that happened to you. Sometimes, people can be cruel. These stories are a surprising wake up call to me.

 

[darlingdiva]

This has never happened to me before but I'm sure some women allow it to be done again and again otherwise these fools wouldn't thinks it's ok/cool. I always have money for myself though.

I think this is true regarding many aspects of male and female relationships:

1. The fact that many more women attend college than men
2. The way some men call out to women in the street instead of respectfully coming over and saying hello
3. The way some men feel it's okay to flirt with you on the bus or train while you're STANDING and they're SITTING

It all comes down to standards. If you have your standards in order AND stick to them, you will get what you WANT.

Okay, now back to the original topic. I've never had a guy ask me out & then say that he doesn't have any money. If I were in that situation at ages 18-19, I would've paid for the guy. If I were currently dating & found myself in that situation, I'd pay for my meal only; the guy would have to make other arrangements.

In regards to jada1111's situation, I don't feel that she should have paid for her female friend, nor do I feel that the female who asks her female friend to dinner should be required to pay. When I go out w/ a female friend, I always have my own money & I always expect to pay for myself. If jada1111's friend couldn't afford to go to dinner, she should have declined the invitation.

 

[JustKiya]

I would pay if he forgot - once. Anybody can screw up, be in a rush trying to get to me on time (because I'd be saltier that you were late than I would be about you forgetting your wallet), and I'd cover. Once.

After that - nah, dude. No trickery going on here. Hell, I'd start asking - "you got your wallet, right?" right after the water hit the table.

And I have nothing against paying for meals in a dating scenario. I have major issues with being deceived, though, and if someone keeps 'forgetting' their wallet until the check shows up - I'm feeling like they are being deceitful - and that's a bad sign.

 

[Vanity1]

OK, this is going to probably sound bad, but women should not depend on a guy to pay all the time. It is a recession, people. I think it should be 50/ 50. It's only fair.

Ummm, I ain't trying to be a smartass but......

If a recession is a reason for a man to not treat a woman he is dating, then everyone need to recess their behind and stay at home.

If I can take care of myself, he need to be able to do it as well.
There is no fair when it come to men and women, we are not equal and I don't want to be equal, men have it fair enough. I prefer my 100% for the things he does for me and 100% for things I choose to do for him while he is dating me.

Women make enough excuses for men and the shady **** they do, can we at least get a meal out of them? How are they to be responsible for you if yall in a serious relationship if he pulling stunts like this.

I will pay if I make a choice to, not because he "left his wallet home" If you agree to 50/50 before going out, that is ok too. But if you know you can't afford it, just say it.

God, I am so lucky to have a man who thinks it is embarrassing to not be able to foot the bill and views it as his duty. erplexed

 

[Glamorous_chic]

this happened on a date with my first bf when i was in college. we went out to dinner for my birthday, and when the check arrived, he paid with his cc. it was declined. he made some excuse about them not accepting that particular type of cc (which i thought was odd, since it was TGIF) but the waiter collaborated his story, so i believed it (ugh i was so naive lol). so, he left to go to the atm, and i stayed so they wouldn't think we skipped on the check. well, after 15 minutes, i started to have a sinking feeling in my stomach. i was a broke college student, and had no money, he was my ride, so i was stranded waaaayyy far from campus, and he didnt have a cellphone. so i called his house, and his roommate happened to be home, and said he spoke to him and he was up the street. how about his roommate ended up being the one to come and get me, and paying for the meal. that was one of the most embarrassing situations of my life. and on my birthday of all days, and the jerk didnt have the balls to even come back. i just cried and cried that night. even talking about it brings back memories, he was a world class jerk. but i can laugh about it now.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

this happened on a date with my first bf when i was in college. we went out to dinner for my birthday, and when the check arrived, he paid with his cc. it was declined. he made some excuse about them not accepting that particular type of cc (which i thought was odd, since it was TGIF) but the waiter collaborated his story, so i believed it (ugh i was so naive lol). so, he left to go to the atm, and i stayed so they wouldn't think we skipped on the check. well, after 15 minutes, i started to have a sinking feeling in my stomach. i was a broke college student, and had no money, he was my ride, so i was stranded waaaayyy far from campus, and he didnt have a cellphone. so i called his house, and his roommate happened to be home, and said he spoke to him and he was up the street. how about his roommate ended up being the one to come and get me, and paying for the meal. that was one of the most embarrassing situations of my life. and on my birthday of all days, and the jerk didnt have the balls to even come back. i just cried and cried that night. even talking about it brings back memories, he was a world class jerk. but i can laugh about it now.

OMG... that dude should be on dont date him girl. com

 

[Everything Zen]

IMHO, you ask her out to dinner and you should have paid.

My thing is what grown *** adult out ANYWHERE without any money/cc? PERIOD. Who does that? Whether or not someone else pays for your meal or not that's just plain ignorant. Who comes up with these kind of assumptions and is just bold and trifling enough to eat and then just sit there like boo boo the fool when the check comes?

 

[Southernbella.]

That has never happened to me OP, but a guy I was dating took me to out to eat, and after dinner, he called the waitress over and told her it was my birthday so that she'd bring a free dessert. It wasn't my birthday and I was so disgusted. I ate the cheesecake, but I was LIVID.

 

[antisocial]

That has never happened to me OP, but a guy I was dating took me to out to eat, and after dinner, he called the waitress over and told her it was my birthday so that she'd bring a free dessert. It wasn't my birthday and I was so disgusted. I ate the cheesecake, but I was LIVID.

That would have irritated me too. This one guy told me to find my student ID when we were planning on going to the movies..... I wasn't even a student, he wanted me to LOOK for it so he could save that $2 .....of course I cancelled

 

[tocktick]

My first impulse would be to say, "oh that's too bad. I don't have mine either" *innocent face*. However, I'd more than likely excuse myself to the bathroom but really walk out the door.

 

[kayte]

that did happen to me..ONCE
he had pulled out his wallet but brought the wrong one without cash and it was like ....&%$!!!
so he gave a credit card...
and the restaurant machine kept rejecting his credit cards
he resassured me it was THEIR machine at fault..and said he
would dash to an ATM.
He explained to the waiter who kept the eagle eye on me..lol
and he came back with $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
and left a fat tip...without apologizing for the card..he was right..it was THEIR machine ..not his card

it never even occurred to him to ask me for the ducats....
or it it did he wisely kept the impulse to himself

I did not enjoy the situation,however
I should have a gotten a fat tip..lol

Hey Loca...at 19..I was clueless

but now in a situation like that today on a first date..someone would be washing dishes
and I suck as a maid..so that would leave you-know-who

 

[lux10023]

glam chic---where is this dude---all i need is 5 mins with him and my stiletto heel--that mickey fickey arrghh--on ur bday too--omg...

this has never happened to me but if it did i would order a ton of food and say i would pay for it--and tell him to order whatever he wants--excuse myself to the bathroom and bounce...teach yo *** a lesson
broke mofos ugh.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

This happened to me before. I went to the movies with a guy, I was dating at the time. We get to the ticket booth, order our tickets and he turns to me and says ' Oh I dont have any money on me. Could you pay?

I went off! The ticket lady was like ...........then

He was like 'Just kidding Just kidding" and pulled out his wallet.

Trifling ***...

 

[QueenHav]

This has happened to me twice. Once with a former BF who then revealed that he had lost his job. Then, after I graduated from college, an old classmate and I went out and he pushed the check towards me when it came. I promptly paid and left with a dust behind me! That guy has been trying to get with me ever since. I know its probably because he wants another free meal, but at the time I was all "I let him know that I'm an equal. Look, I can pay for stuff!"



Sometimes, this Independent Woman stuff ends up shooting me in the foot.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

glam chic---where is this dude---all i need is 5 mins with him and my stiletto heel--that mickey fickey arrghh--on ur bday too--omg...

this has never happened to me but if it did i would order a ton of food and say i would pay for it--and tell him to order whatever he wants--excuse myself to the bathroom and bounce...teach yo *** a lesson
broke mofos ugh.

lol. i've never had anything like that to happen to me before, or since thanks goodness.

i have had guys who asked to go dutch, b/c their finances were tight, which i understood, however, they always were placed in the friend zone. most of the guys i know that talk smack about using that as a test for women, have never done that with the women that they were serious with or ended up in long term relationships with.

 

[MsOmri]

It only happened once and I was totally disgusted, as I have NEVER paid for a date. Even my male friends would treat. (Don't kill me ladies I know many don't agree with this but I'm just used to and expect men to pay always... it's the gentleman thing to do - simple as that)

So long story short.... this guy who I already told I only wanted to be friends invites me out, tries to sell me on how great a guy he is and then bugs the ish out of me as to why I am not interested. My dumb a@# decides to be honest and tell him that he simply is not my type. He asks me to elaborate and I admit it's his looks and personal/professional situation. I stressed that I'd like to be friends but we are not romantically compatible. He played cool but I realized he was pissed when the check came.

This fool tried to act like he didn't have any money. We'll I guess he thought my prissy a#$ would be too embarrassed to make a scene. I wasn't and I cursed this piece of trash out real good. I'm sorry you CAN NOT ask a woman out to dinner (one who has already said she only wants to be friends) then get mad that she STILL isn't interested after a little convo and blackened salmon.

Interesting thing is... he found his wallet. Rat Ba$%^rd.

 

[LightEyedMami]

This has never happenend to me but i did have this guy ask me "would i ever pay for a date" i said "NEVER" men are supposed to pay for dinner (in my eyes) and he said "but men want to be treated special too" and went on about all the women that has bought him things all the time, and so on. I said well "How can you have smart people without dumb people" i mean not to say that women that like to pay are dumb, but obviously THESE women were, he's 24 still lives with his Grandma, has a record and 2 kids with 2 different babies mamas (he does not finacially support either one), why would a women make his life ANY easier by paying for him too?

 

[kayte]

Okay. I just got back from a date tonight...with new person
went very well!!!! ..check comes...he takes it puts money out and then says
oh man! .....not enough for the tip ..

do you have a dollar?

I said ... indicating my purse...I brought makeup...
he dug in his wallet and pulled out ..voila! a five dollar bill


that..... is...

excuse me

was

our LAST date

 

[anon123]

This happened to me before. I went to the movies with a guy, I was dating at the time. We get to the ticket booth, order our tickets and he turns to me and says ' Oh I dont have any money on me. Could you pay?

I went off! The ticket lady was like ...........then

He was like 'Just kidding Just kidding" and pulled out his wallet.

Trifling ***...

Shoot, this younger white guy asked me out once and I agreed. He picked me up and we went to the theater. This so-and-so actually pulled out a check book at the ticket counter. A check book!! erplexed Of course the lady was like "uh, we don't take checks" and he was like "I don't have any money" . Oh my goodness, I was so embarrassed. I just hurried up and paid to get away from the counter and the embarrassment. Apparently, though, he had just enough money on his credit card to buy popcorn ,which I didn't even want. I was mad the whole movie. I still remember, it was The Wedding Crashers. I should have been rolling in the aisles, but instead I was looking like this for most of the movie.

And do you know he had the nerve to ask if I was hungry afterward. What for, you want me to pay for our food at a restaurant? I told him no and to just take me home. Never returned his calls.

 

[Jenibo]

This happened to me before. I went to the movies with a guy, I was dating at the time. We get to the ticket booth, order our tickets and he turns to me and says ' Oh I dont have any money on me. Could you pay?

I went off! The ticket lady was like ...........then

He was like 'Just kidding Just kidding" and pulled out his wallet.

Trifling ***...

Thing is i'm such a nice person (and naive) i get suckered in these situations. Not anymore.......

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

lol the title of this is funny, i've been avoiding it but I had to say something....
i'll be back after i read the thread LOL

 

[jerseygurl]

Never happened to me before but it would probably be our last date.

 

[Miss_C]

Bump

 

[CaraWalker]

Shoot, this younger white guy asked me out once and I agreed. He picked me up and we went to the theater. This so-and-so actually pulled out a check book at the ticket counter. A check book!! erplexed Of course the lady was like "uh, we don't take checks" and he was like "I don't have any money" . Oh my goodness, I was so embarrassed. I just hurried up and paid to get away from the counter and the embarrassment. Apparently, though, he had just enough money on his credit card to buy popcorn ,which I didn't even want. I was mad the whole movie. I still remember, it was The Wedding Crashers. I should have been rolling in the aisles, but instead I was looking like this for most of the movie.

And do you know he had the nerve to ask if I was hungry afterward. What for, you want me to pay for our food at a restaurant? I told him no and to just take me home. Never returned his calls.

but he was gonna pay with a check