He Said "Let Me Be"......

[Monilove122]

Perhaps the link in this post will provide you some insight or a new perspective on how to process this experience.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18815123#post18815123

Thanks for the link.....ill continue to read but so far our situation is different since we had a very clear and mutual relationship. It wasn't imagined or me building something that wasn't there. We both said after already being friends and 4.5 months of dating we were ready for the commitment of titles and an understanding that we would be girlfriend/boyfriend.

But again, I will look through the article as my response is based on just the first page.

 

[Monilove122]

Sorry for your loss


With situations like that, it could be anything, he's just not ready. I'm sorry that you're hurting. Don't be surprised when he starts ringing your phone again once his "situation" clears up. They always come back. Hopefully, you will have moved on to a better place

I actually got a text from him today that said "Hey"....I didn't respond but HMPH, whatever is how I feel about that text! Lol

 

[hopeful]

I actually got a text from him today that said "Hey"....I didn't respond but HMPH, whatever is how I feel about that text! Lol

That was fast! And he just says, "hey." Yes, please continue to ignore him. You deserve way more than "hey."

 

[deltagyrl]

Wow.

So sorry for you loss and heartbreak.
I agree with what's been posted upthread. You will eventually heal. Take all the time you need...

 

[PureSilver]

Agreeing with what others have posted. I would leave him alone. In your heart you are feeling he's the one but he proved you wrong so i would take that and move on.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, it will take time for you to heal and so don't beat upon yourself too much, he said you did everything right and if that is so there is nothing more that you can do.

 

[Leesh]

First and foremost, I am so very sorry for your loss! :hugs:

The good thing about this is, he had the decency to let you know early on, most of them dont.

Two months in, its safe to say you'll bounce back sooner then if he waited till your heart was all in. After say maybe a year or two...

I say, you lost someone you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that loves you. Focus on healing off of that.Dont waste your grieving over him. Its evident that he felt differently.

Jus know for future reference, he doesnt seem to be too stable or comittment worthy. Keep this in mind when he tries to come back, they always do.

 

[sylver2]

I actually got a text from him today that said "Hey"....I didn't respond but HMPH, whatever is how I feel about that text! Lol

omg i know this type of man and have dealt with it unfortunately.
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I know exactly what you are feeeling. Then to have him act like that during the time u need stability in your life the most please, i know its hard but give it at least a week or two w/o contacting him or answering his texts/calls. how dare he. let him be ..but he's texting you hey, u have no time for games and to deal with his damn issues in your life. please try to move on.

 

[Fine 4s]

I heard this answer on Lhcf, 'hey' is for horses

So sorry for your loss e-hug..

This part stood out to me " He was the one that always felt like he wasn't "worthy" of being with me because I'm a social butterfly so to speak and he's rather quiet".

Trust him and thank him for the heads up.
He'll be back around. YOU figure out if you want him back in the meanwhile.

Take good care of your heart!

 

[Lenee925]

I actually got a text from him today that said "Hey"....I didn't respond but HMPH, whatever is how I feel about that text! Lol

What a manipulative little piece of something or other. EXCUSE YOU. Why are you texting me? He basically told you to '*** off', so would it be rude to tell him the same lol?

 

[Mocha5]

OP, how are you?

 

[ellebelle88]

Hugs to you OP. You seem like such a beautiful and sweet soul even in the midst of so much. I have no advice because I've been there and its not easy to just "move on." It hurts. Like hell. You feel like your whole world has been shaken up. I pray you find strength, balance, and peace of mind.

 

[Monilove122]

OP, how are you?

mocha - I'm actually doing great. I had my house professionally cleaned today as I haven't had the time (or motivation) to do it since my Mom passed and I'm on fire trying to organize, cook, and get my life back!

Thanks for checking on me .

 

[Monilove122]

Hugs to you OP. You seem like such a beautiful and sweet soul even in the midst of so much. I have no advice because I've been there and its not easy to just "move on." It hurts. Like hell. You feel like your whole world has been shaken up. I pray you find strength, balance, and peace of mind.

ellebelle88 - thank you so much for your kind words! It does hurt very much and I'm still in shock about what he did during a time I needed him most. But, I'm going to try my best to go on because I have no choice.

 

[Monilove122]

Agreeing with what others have posted. I would leave him alone. In your heart you are feeling he's the one but he proved you wrong so i would take that and move on.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, it will take time for you to heal and so don't beat upon yourself too much, he said you did everything right and if that is so there is nothing more that you can do.

It definitely wasn't just a feeling in my heart. It was what we discussed.....I think the part that is amazing about this situation is that none of our relationship was one sided. He would always correct me if/when I spoke in terms of "me" or "I" and would say "No, it's US & WE".

I tell ya, it still makes no sense but I'm doing better with things.

 

[Monilove122]

omg i know this type of man and have dealt with it unfortunately.
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I know exactly what you are feeeling. Then to have him act like that during the time u need stability in your life the most please, i know its hard but give it at least a week or two w/o contacting him or answering his texts/calls. how dare he. let him be ..but he's texting you hey, u have no time for games and to deal with his damn issues in your life. please try to move on.

sylver2 - thanks so much! I actually responded today and said "Hey" back and he went on to ask me about my day. I didn't respond and was thinking is this Negro serious.....

But, today is definitely much better day

 

[Mocha5]

mocha - I'm actually doing great. I had my house professionally cleaned today as I haven't had the time (or motivation) to do it since my Mom passed and I'm on fire trying to organize, cook, and get my life back!

Thanks for checking on me .

Good for you! Get yo life, girl!

 

[God_Favor]

Im soooooooooooooooooo happy you ignored the "hey" text. Good for you!! He will text again! Stay storng!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Sorry to hear about your mom. As for that man, he seems to like being chased. Don't give him the satisfaction. He's already proven he can't be relied on.

 

[Monilove122]

Im soooooooooooooooooo happy you ignored the "hey" text. Good for you!! He will text again! Stay storng!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

I actually did end up responding today (a day later) and just said "Hey" as well. But, I did ignore him when he started asking me about my day.

 

[AstroQueen77]

I actually did end up responding today (a day later) and just said "Hey" as well. But, I did ignore him when he started asking me about my day.

SMH. He's testing the waters. Continue to ignore him. After what he did, he needs to come harder than that.

 

[Monilove122]

SMH. He's testing the waters. Continue to ignore him. After what he did, he needs to come harder than that.

You are SOOOO right and now that I feel like I have the upper hand I'm feeling extra good....HAAAAAA!!!!! He asked if there was any way we could talk.....and I have NOT responded. LOL

 

[gn1g]

OP, I am very sorry for you lost and pray for your healing.

In my experience sometimes some men just need a little space and so they do disappearing acts. He MIGHT come back around after a couple of weeks, but don't wait on him or hold your breath.

 

[lux10023]

for what he did to her when he did---he would be lucky if i spat on him if he was on fire--how selfish and evil..fohhhh

 

[God_Favor]

OP keeping ignoring him and grant that "let me be request" !!! Be strong!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[Keen]

Monilove122 I guess I'm the only one who would take time to hear what he has to say. Men don't share their feelings like women. It's not like he has done you wrong in the past. Just be assertive and don't fall for the okidokie.

 

[DarkJoy]

Don't mistake what I say for falling for the okie doke either.

I am the type that would listen to what he had to say for my own sense of closure. I would NOT be listening with an open mind to get back together as the trust would be destroyed beyond repair.

However I would NEED that moment to get what I have to say off my chest and have that release for my own emotional health. Then I would get off the phone, go no contact, cry for a few weeks and move on.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[Ipanema]

Monilove122 I guess I'm the only one who would take time to hear what he has to say. Men don't share their feelings like women. It's not like he has done you wrong in the past. Just be assertive and don't fall for the okidokie.

You're not the only one. I would want to know exactly what happened and why he did what he did. Just cutting him off without knowing the facts about anything when we were boyfriend/girlfriend... I just don't know about that.

 

[AstroQueen77]

Don't mistake what I say for falling for the okie doke either.

I am the type that would listen to what he had to say for my own sense of closure. I would NOT be listening with an open mind to get back together as the trust would be destroyed beyond repair.

However I would NEED that moment to get what I have to say off my chest and have that release for my own emotional health. Then I would get off the phone, go no contact, cry for a few weeks and move on.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

Valid points have been brought up. Do what you feel is best. I do believe that a big part of closure is hashing things out. However, he needs to be a bit more respectful and make a better effort to communicate...which is why I suggested that you ignore him for now. Texting is such a lazy way to contact..which is why he is testing you out.

 

[MzLady78]

You're not the only one. I would want to know exactly what happened and why he did what he did. Just cutting him off without knowing the facts about anything when we were boyfriend/girlfriend... I just don't know about that.

Umm, didn't HE pretty much cut HER off without giving her any facts, why does he deserve the same courtesy?

As boyfriend/girlfriend, if there was something going on with him, he should have been upfront about it and let her decide from there how/if she wanted to proceed.

Not saying she shouldn't hear him out if she wants to know, I just don't think she owes him the opportunity given his actions.

 

[DarkJoy]

I agree MzLady78, she doesn't owe him a damn thing. If it's eating her up to know his reasons, I see no problem in listening--and giving that idiot a LOUD and SCATHING piece of her mind.

We're not always given the opportunity for closure. Sometimes it's good to take it, others not. In this case, I'd fake listening to his BS answers long enough to gather my words and let him have it. but that's just me and I'm known to be kind of mean and sharp-tongued.