He is in Prison....

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MzV1991

MzV1991

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So last year i did a post about my boyfriend proposing to me....I cant find it now....more like im too lazy to look for it :look: But basically he had proposed and long story short i ultimately told him yes and then a month later i told him you know what i want to finish college first im in no rush:yep: Well he talked me into being his "fiancee" mainly bc he wanted to lock me down :sad: but whatever let me get to the point! He was arrested for aggrevated robbery and got 35 years in prison. So you know i was like gotttt damnnnn thats a long time to wait for a man im not cut out for this ride or die role:lachen:dis aint bonnie and clyde fool. But i said hey let me give this a try. I was down for him for about a few weeks valentines day came around and he proposed again and wanted to get married. :perplexed To ensure he was my first we had sex. I swear ive been in denial. I seriously thought i could wait 35 years but umm im 19 years old and decided to go on with my life but dont know what to tell him. Yeahhhhh i wish things was that easy....went to the doc today....and yupp...im pregnant....So dont crucify me lhcf older sisters but your little sister needs some advice. I feel trapped and like my life is over. I found out i was pregnant the same day i got accepted to nursing school. Great my dreams are over:ohwell:
 
MzV1991 said:
So last year i did a post about my boyfriend proposing to me....I cant find it now....more like im too lazy to look for it :look: But basically he had proposed and long story short i ultimately told him yes and then a month later i told him you know what i want to finish college first im in no rush:yep: Well he talked me into being his "fiancee" mainly bc he wanted to lock me down :sad: but whatever let me get to the point! He was arrested for aggrevated robbery and got 35 years in prison. So you know i was like gotttt damnnnn thats a long time to wait for a man im not cut out for this ride or die role:lachen:dis aint bonnie and clyde fool. But i said hey let me give this a try. I was down for him for about a few weeks valentines day came around and he proposed again and wanted to get married. :perplexed To ensure he was my first we had sex. I swear ive been in denial. I seriously thought i could wait 35 years but umm im 19 years old and decided to go on with my life but dont know what to tell him. Yeahhhhh i wish things was that easy....went to the doc today....and yupp...im pregnant....So dont crucify me lhcf older sisters but your little sister needs some advice. I feel trapped and like my life is over. I found out i was pregnant the same day i got accepted to nursing school. Great my dreams are over:ohwell:
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GIFSoup
 
At 19 you do not wait 35yrs for a man.

Let me try a different approach for you since your 19.

When he gets out, you will be old, haggard and washed up. He will be so happy to be free that he will run out and find him a young tender roni, or worse, a white young tender roni. :nono:

Is that what you want OP? I think not.
 
I'm gonna tell you what I told my cousin (she's your age) who was in this exact situation.

I know you love him and everything but....LET HIM GO! He can't do anything for you or your child. It does you no good to sit around and wait for him to get out...if he gets out. If he was so in love with you and wanted to build a life with you, his behind wouldn't have been out robbing folks. Besides, considering he is in prison for aggravated robbery, is that the kind of influence you want in your child's life?

Now, as for you...I don't know what your support system is like but if you have a good one (and plan on having this baby) continue with your dreams. Go to school, have a career..the sky's the limit. Don't think that having a baby is gonna hold you back from whatever dreams you may have. However, you have got to let this man go. Waiting for him is what's gonna hold you back...not you choosing to have the baby.

I know it seems kinda harsh and it may feel like you are leaving him in his time of need and yadda yadda yadda but like I said, he wasn't thinking about that when he was robbing folks. You have to think about you and what's best for you-at this point his feelings about things are irrelevant.

HTH and everything is gonna be alright. No worries :yep:
 
I swear this sounds like a strawberry letter!

Wow, have you told anyone else? Your parents? A friend? Anyone you know IRL?

I know you're probably scared and feel hopeless right now, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. When does school start? My advice would be to still go as long as you can during your pregnancy to at least earn some credits. Don't let your pregnancy deter you from going to school. Man, I don't know what else to say.

With that said, be prepared for some tough love up in here!
 
oh dang, I just read your post again. You are pregnant by a dude at 19yrs by having some unprotected prison sex?

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Well im about to make those calls tomorrow and tell my family but i wouldnt say i have any support system.....School starts in August i dont think i would be able to go to school. I mean i am so broke im barely making ends meets. Much less bringing a baby into this world. I may of done this irresponsible thing but one thing im sure of is it would be irresponsible if i make my baby suffer because of my choices....oh boy my mom is going to hurt me....im not even thinking about anything else really. All i could think about is my mom kicking me down a flight of steps. and im being serious about that she would literally do it
 
Okay....How far along are you? is it too late to terminate?

I know I will be crucified for this...but I will go ahead anyway.... If you go on with this and have the baby, not only will you be a single mom but your child will grow up with a dad behind bars until he/she is an adult. You will have no support from child's father, no physical, probably not emotional and, very little financial.

I am not saying that having an infant and getting through college is impossible, but most people don't make it....that's just a fact.

I just saw your post, you are broke as is... Oy Vey.

I wish you good luck and I hope all ends well for you.
 
Skiggle said:
Why didn't you guys use a condom?!
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and honestly things are becoming so clear to me.....He told me he had one on. I mean it was my first time i didnt know the difference....Im starting to believe he did all this on purpose.
 
OP I"m just going to throw it out there.

Have you considered abortion? I understand if it's against your beliefs, but I thought it needed to be mentioned. I personally wouldn't, but that's just me.

Next, he got 35 years in prison. 1) you are 19. You have no reason to be waiting that long for a man. 2) he is in prison, that is not the kind of man that you need to be dealing with.

You are young and you have your whole life to fall in love. So if I were you, I'd separate myself from him, get your life together, decide if you want to keep the baby or not, if you do get yourself a support system and figure out how to take care of yourself financially so that you can provide the best life for the kid.
 
I was told by my doc that it is not too late to terminate but the days are numbered....I understand this is something i got to decide by myself but i dont know what im going to do i really dont have anyone to talk to and thats when i remembered this site
 
OP, I know you're 19 and all but stop crossing bridges before you get to that point.

School starts in August...it's March. It's not like it's July and you're bringing this up. You still have time to look and see what scholarships are being offered at your school, heck fill out a FAFSA and see what kind of aid you can get....money is out there, you just need to get to motivation to go look.

Of course your family is gonna freak, my family freaked when my cousin got pregnant. I'll tell you this though...we freaked out b/c we love and care for my cousin. If we didn't care about her no one would have thought anything of it. Now, what you need to do is brace yourself for the fact that there may be a little fussing. It happens but you will be alright. Also, your family is probably willing to stand by you no matter what you choose (I don't know your family dynamics so this is just a wild guess).

This is what happens when you get grown. You make decisions for your life and you have to face the consequences of them. I understand you're scared and confused right now but I need you to breathe and think logically about what you can do about this situation. Don't dwell on the negatives (e.g.-you don't have money, you don't have this, you don't have that)---how can YOU get yourself out of this current situation. That needs to be your focus.
 
MzV1991 said:
I was told by my doc that it is not too late to terminate but the days are numbered....I understand this is something i got to decide by myself but i dont know what im going to do i really dont have anyone to talk to and thats when i remembered this site
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Well, it's ultimately your decision. If I were you I wouldn't tell the father until i had made up my mind.
You really have to think about your future, with what you have told us, the likelihood of you ending up as a poor single mom is very high, and once you get into that rut, it is extremely hard to pull yourself out of it.

I hope you will make a wise and good decision for yourself.
 
i just filled out a fafsa awhile ago im trying to be optimistic but sometimes being optimistic means for me to ignore the problem but before i even posted this up the wheels in my head have been spinning.....Im thinking about where im going to live...keeping this child or not....i went to my school website turns out they have a apartment complex on campus for students with kids and a daycare near by....then on the next hand i could just end the "situation" and just go to school

Just want to put this out there i am DONE with this guy....My thing is does he have the right to know im pregnant?
 
MzV1991 said:
i just filled out a fafsa awhile ago im trying to be optimistic but sometimes being optimistic means for me to ignore the problem but before i even posted this up the wheels in my head have been spinning.....Im thinking about where im going to live...keeping this child or not....i went to my school website turns out they have a apartment complex on campus for students with kids and a daycare near by....then on the next hand i could just end the "situation" and just go to school

Just want to put this out there i am DONE with this guy....My thing is does he have the right to know im pregnant?
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If you decide to keep the baby, then absolutely YES!
 
By the way I just want to thank everyone before i forget for responding...thanks for your advice and the tough love :yep:
 
Well as of now i dont know what im going to do but i sure feel much better than when i started this thread. I think i need to decide what im going to do before i tell my family because im going to be pulled in different directions once they know. But once again thanks everyone...but i think imma call it a night for now
 
I see that other posters have given you genuine advice.
I would start planning now, begin to list PROs and CONs of
either outcomes you will choose.
And keep in mind that you will be sacrificing something in the end
which will have long term consquences.
Your future is at stake.
 
I don't really know what advice to give but i really hope you are able to figure something out and get your education. It's hard word to have a baby and go to school but you can totally do it if you want to. As for whether or not you should tell him you are pregnant if you choose to terminate that will be a tough decision. I think he should know:ohwell:

Good luck hun.
 
Qualitee said:
He did that to catch you.
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I think so too. The exes I had with the least going for themselves always tried to push marriage and a baby. I hate to say it but I'm also team abortion.

However, if you decide to keep the baby all hope is not lost. It will be much harder, but there are single mothers getting degrees every year. I know several.:yep: A h.s. classmate had a baby at 16 and she graduated with a Pharm.D. 2 years ago.
 
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