He Cried Like A Baby...help Me Understand

[Phoenix11]

Recently I met up with an ex from high school. We got together over dinner and drinks just to catch up. He is now married and living the dream. He spent most of the night telling me how happy he was, the new house they bought, showing her name that he had tat on his arm. Great.

At some point in the conversation he said he had only loved two women in his life. Me and his wife. Okay. Cool. As the evening ending I pulled out his class ring he had given me when we were in high school. I said this belongs to you and I am returning it to its owner. He said he didn't want it back, he gave it to me and it was mine to keep. I insisted he take it back. That's when he started to walk/run away from me so he wouldn't have to accept it. When I caught up to him, I told him the reason he give me the ring no longer existed and I am returning it to it's owner. Reluctantly he took it and then began to cry uncontrollably like a baby.

If life is so good, why the waterworks? There is nothing between us. We both have moved on. I don't get it.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I could be reading this wrong but I think he really wants that old thang back but is trying hard to be true to his wife.

 

[Phoenix11]

I could be reading this wrong but I think he really wants that old thang back but is trying hard to be true to his wife.

Help me understand..."old thang"? Would that be me?

 

[Foxglove]

Just throw it away. Imagine him returning home having to explain why he's carrying a ring that he gave to another woman 20 years ago

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Help me understand..."old thang"? Would that be me?

I'm sorry OP. No offense was meant. "Old thang" is referenced in a few older songs about people trying to get back with their exes.

 

[Phoenix11]

Just throw it away. Imagine him returning home having to explain why he's carrying a ring that he gave to another woman 20 years ago

He eventually took it back.
It was his class ring. I thought it would have some sentimental value for him.

 

[Phoenix11]

I'm sorry OP. No offense was meant. "Old thang" is referenced in a few older songs about people trying to get back with their exes.

No offense.
If life is a good as he described, I don't understand what he would want with me.

 

[LiftedUp]

People cry over good memories of the past that are no longer there. It doesn't mean that his life at home isn't good or that he wants you back. Especially since he expressed neither. I hope he threw the ring in the trash on his way home and I hope he stops meeting up with exes since he's a married man...

 

[faithVA]

He said he only loved two women. He may love his wife but he may still be in love with you. Maybe he is happy enough but wishing it had been different.

Sounds like he tried to sell something he didn't quite believe.

 

[**SaSSy**]

No offense.
If life is a good as he described, I don't understand what he would want with me.

No offense, but why would you met up with an ex (you say you're no longer interested in)? Were you'll friends or speaking prior to this encounter, or the purpose of this meeting was just to give him a ring? Did you know he was married prior to this encounter because if so, I don't think that's a good look. You could've just thrown the ring away or pawn it.

idk, maybe it's me, but at this age and stage of my life, once I'm done with a man, I'm done! I don't want to rehash old memories from the past and bring up any old dusty feelings from both sides. Especially if the guy is married.

 

[**SaSSy**]

Just throw it away. Imagine him returning home having to explain why he's carrying a ring that he gave to another woman 20 years ago

That bolded part right there is what I'm saying. I once dated a guy who said he was more in love with his ex-girlfriend more than his ex-wife and that he doesn't love the ex-gf anymore (didn't believe), but he still cared for her, but he claimed he hasn't spoken to her in over a year (another thing I didn't believe).

That was one of the many reasons why I stopped seeing him, because I don't want to date a man telling me he still cares for his ex-gf and loved her more than another woman (in this case his ex-wife) while dating me.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

You had a dinner date with a married man? I wonder if he lied to his wife about where he really was going.
Who knows why he was crying. Anything here is all speculation. He could be totally happy with his wife and life but still thinking about what might have been.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

No offense, but why would you met up with an ex (you say you're no longer interested in)? Were you'll friends or speaking prior to this encounter, or the purpose of this meeting was just to give him a ring? Did you know he was married prior to this encounter because if so, I don't think that's a good look. You could've just thrown the ring away or pawn it.

idk, maybe it's me, but at this age and stage of my life, once I'm done with a man, I'm done! I don't want to rehash old memories from the past and bring up any old dusty feelings from both sides. Especially if the guy is married.

This is what I'm thinking. If there is nothing there, why meet up? If I get curious about an ex, a simple Facebook stalk answers everything i need to know. There's no way I'm meeting them especially if they are married unless maybe I need some closure. He's overcompensating with all the bragging and you kept a ring from years ago and cared enough to bring it with you when you met him. I think most people would have thrown it away or sent it back after the break up. It sounds like you both have some unresolved feelings. So it doesn't surprise me he got emotional. Maybe he got the closure he never did.

 

[tru4reele]

Girl you need to stop trying to play naive. Having dinner with an old married flame is not appropriate and giving him back an old ring was so extra and sounds like something out of a movie. Why were you adamant about giving him an old ring? Were you trying to prove something because he didn't choose you? It's almost like an ex giving back an engagement ring, but it's just a school ring. You playing reindeer games.

It's obvious you both still hold a place in each other's heart which is why it was highly inappropriate for you to meet him for dinner.

 

[lesedi]

It's like you want him to have you on his mind.

 

[lesedi]

Girl you need to stop trying to play naive. Having dinner with an old married flame is not appropriate and giving him back an old ring was so extra and sounds like something out of a movie. Why were you adamant about giving him an old ring? Were you trying to prove something because he didn't choose you? It's almost like an ex giving back an engagement ring, but it's just a school ring. You playing reindeer games.

Preach. I'm hormonal and fuming on the wife's behalf right now. Emotional childhood sweetheart reunion and you're married? GTFO...

 

[tru4reele]

Preach. I'm hormonal and fuming on the wife's behalf right now. Emotional childhood sweetheart reunion and you're married? GTFO...

Literally chasing this man down to give him something he didn't want.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Girl you need to stop trying to play naive. Having dinner with an old married flame is not appropriate and giving him back an old ring was so extra and sounds like something out of a movie. Why were you adamant about giving him an old ring? Were you trying to prove something because he didn't choose you? It's almost like an ex giving back an engagement ring, but it's just a school ring. You playing reindeer games.

It's obvious you both still hold a place in each other's heart which is why it was highly inappropriate for you to meet him for dinner.

This. Giving him the ring back was manipulative. He gave it to you back in the day when you were actually friends. What was wrong with keeping it?

Btw, I know this move because I've pulled it before. Cut it out.

 

[Supervixen]

Girl you need to stop trying to play naive. Having dinner with an old married flame is not appropriate and giving him back an old ring was so extra and sounds like something out of a movie. Why were you adamant about giving him an old ring? Were you trying to prove something because he didn't choose you? It's almost like an ex giving back an engagement ring, but it's just a school ring. You playing reindeer games.

It's obvious you both still hold a place in each other's heart which is why it was highly inappropriate for you to meet him for dinner.

All of this.


First problem: dinner with a married man. Seems like YOU BOTH want that ole thang back.

Keep the ring for memories OR pawn it. I dont advocate trashing jewelry.

 

[Supervixen]

This. Giving him the ring back was manipulative. He gave it to you back in the day when you were actually friends. What was wrong with keeping it?

Btw, I know this move because I've pulled it before. Cut it out.

Yup!!!!!!!! Old trick NOT TO BE USED WITH MARRIED MEN!!!

 

[LucieLoo12]

Call me petty, but I better never find out DH went to a dinner with an ex. Then he telling her she was one of the only women he loved. Bbbaaabbbbyy....no bueno. DH knows, your friends is my friends. No secret dates or luncheons. I trust DH put you can't go playing with fire.

To OP, walk away and don't even worry about it. You moved on right? So you shouldn't even care why.

 

[lesedi]

Literally chasing this man down to give him something he didn't want.

To make him want it more.....

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

You playing reindeer games.

…….................................

I'm not here to judge OP, heck I've been where you are. We just have to let those old feelings go so we can truly move on to have what's really meant for us. Forget ol' dude and why he cried. It doesn't matter. It's in the past.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Don't people know these "love and basketball situations" happens every day. Old first love comes back in the picture, then they start reminiscing. Next thing you know she knocked at his window at 1 am wanting her rematch game. No sir no ma'am . Stay away from my husband.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Hopefully, his wife isn't the crazy, jealous type. People do crazy ish when they feel threatened.
She thinks he is a loving husband who just bought her a new house. All the while he is out entertaining an ex and professing his love.
This could end badly.

 

[SuchaLady]

How old are you? Serious question.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

I might have thought it was more casual if you hadn't pushed the ring issue. That seems like you were trying to get a reaction out of him.

 

[Phoenix11]

Wow ladies.
Why can't old friends get together platonically. Not all people are capable of that, but I am.

Trust me, I'm not chasing any married man. If he did or did not tell his wife about our meeting, that is between them.

As far as me being "extra". I did not want the ring in my possession any longer. It no longer had any meaning to me. Pawning it is callous. The right thing to do is what I did and give it back to the person it belongs to.

 

[Keen]

This. Giving him the ring back was manipulative. He gave it to you back in the day when you were actually friends. What was wrong with keeping it?

Btw, I know this move because I've pulled it before. Cut it out.

This was my thought. I can see why he didn't want the ring back. He gave it to you. It represent that point and time in his life. I don't think it means he wants to hold on. Then again, I'm not into returning stuff after break ups. Gifts are to be kept. If I try to give it back, it's not genuine. I'm trying to pull something.

 

[Phoenix11]

This was my thought. I can see why he didn't want the ring back. He gave it to you. It represent that point and time in his life. I don't think it means he wants to hold on. Then again, I'm not into returning stuff after break ups. Gifts are to be kept. If I try to give it back, it's not genuine. I'm trying to pull something.

If it was something brought and meant for me wear I probably would have kept it. It was his men's size bulky class ring. I could not wear it. I kept it in a jewelry box for years. I felt like its caretaker.

Didn't want to be responsible for it anymore.