He Cheated..Again..This time I moved out

[SerenityBreeze]

Ladies,

I am so down right now. I did the right thing, packed my bags and moved out. I did not even cry or beg for an explination. I had hard facts, said what I had to say, and called a mover.

After seven years, raising a stepdaughter since three now nine 1/2, I am trying to start a new life.

Anyone else been there? I could use some cheering up and positive words.

Bests,
Serenity

 

[star]

Praying for you girl. Have not been there but I know it is not a nice place to be. So sorry to hear this.

 

[jrae]

Ladies,

I am so down right now. I did the right thing, packed my bags and moved out. I did not even cry or beg for an explination. I had hard facts, said what I had to say, and called a mover.

After seven years, raising a stepdaughter since three now nine 1/2, I am trying to start a new life.

Anyone else been there? I could use some cheering up and positive words.

Haven't been there exactly, Serenity, but I am praying for you and send you hugs. I am separated myself though so I know you go through a range of emotions even when you know you are doing the right thing. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.

 

[audacious1]

I just wanted to let you know that your strength is admirable and I won't forget it.

(((hugs)))

 

[PinkSkates]

I have had my heart yanked out and thrown up againt the wall. And it sucks big time. So, I don't want to throw a bunch of cliched phrases at you right now. Just do whatever you have to do to start the healing process. If you want I can start a "Let's Hate Men For A Month" thread for you. All jokes aside, I hope you start to feel better real soon, and get your life back on track. I wish you many blessings.

 

[tanyshar]

Hey Serenity,
I'm sending prayers and hugs your way!! You did do the right thing, you are not anybodys door mat! I'm glad you took a stand for yourself although I know it will be hard to leave your stepdaughter.
If you would like to talk PM me I'll be happy to talk with you.......

 

[dlovely]

Hugs to you. My girlfriend is in a similar situation at the moment and I'm here to listen, hug and provide words of comfort when needed. At least you had the financial means to move out. Unfortunately, she is not able to- at this moment.

 

[meaganita]

Wow girl, this kind of thing is never easy, especially when you have so much time invested. Be proud of yourself for making the decision to raise your standards and demand more for yourself. Just remember that no matter how bad you're feeling, it's only temporary. By continuing to make better decisions for yourself and being choosey about who you allow to be in your life, you stand to gain so much more. Stay strong sis. Move forward with no regrets. You'll be a better woman for it.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Never been through it, but that's some hard ish to deal with.
Getting over any man is HARD and it takes time.

Hell, if you a drinker get your favorite liquor and listen to the new Keyshia Cole CD

Get your girls around you. Being alone makes you even sadder The loneliness is hard to get used to.

Or thinking about his left arm wrapped around you while you're sleeping..

It's gone take time and effort. Women been getting over men cheating for years... you'll get through this!

 

[MrsQueeny]

Sorry to hear this. Be strong and know it is his loss. Q

 

[january noir]

Oh Serenity - My sentiments are the same as everyone who has posted.
Next year this time, you'll be sitting on top of the world and HE will be eating his heart out. I cant stand him...

Hang in lovely lady! So true, his loss!

 

[patient1]

Hey there,

All I can do is co-sign. It does get better but it's going to take some time and patience. Doing what's right for you doesn't always mean doing the easy thing.

PM me if you ever need.

p1

 

[blackmaven]

I think You needed to do what was best for your well being.

Keep yourself busy play some of your favorite music,check out comedy club,hang out with close girlfriends and pamper yourself.

We will be here for you okay!

 

[brickhouse]

I've been there and filed for divorced. That was over 5 yrs ago and I am still going strong. Time heals all wounds. Take this time to get to know yourself better and now you can concentrate on yourself instead of pacing the floor trying to find out who he is with. These men are something else. I can't go into details right now. You can pm me and we can talk. Take care of yourself.

 

[dlove]

I am praying for you. Keep your head up and know that you are loved.

 

[Princess4real]

Wow girl, this kind of thing is never easy, especially when you have so much time invested. Be proud of yourself for making the decision to raise your standards and demand more for yourself. Just remember that no matter how bad you're feeling, it's only temporary. By continuing to make better decisions for yourself and being choosey about who you allow to be in your life, you stand to gain so much more. Stay strong sis. Move forward with no regrets. You'll be a better woman for it.

She's right! Soooooo many women settle for less because their afraid to be by themselves. I'm proud of you and every woman who doesn't settle for less and demands respect.

 

[Missjksn21]

You are gorgeous and trust and believe there is someone out there worthy of all of your fabulousness. Also know that he WILL reap what he has sown without a doubt. Keep that chin up and celebrate the fact that you had the strength to leave when you did!

 

[Lady Esquire]

Ladies,

I am so down right now. I did the right thing, packed my bags and moved out. I did not even cry or beg for an explination. I had hard facts, said what I had to say, and called a mover.

After seven years, raising a stepdaughter since three now nine 1/2, I am trying to start a new life.

Anyone else been there? I could use some cheering up and positive words.

Bests,
Serenity

I am extremely sorry to hear that you are going through this. The fact that you moved out is evident that you are ready to cut this poison out of your life, and I am proud of your strength and self-love. You are an intelligent and beautiful young woman.

You are also someone with a big heart to have a relationship with your stepdaughter as well.

You deserve a man who will honor and cherish you, and ONLY you. Pray and open your heart. Purge him out of your system, which may take time esp since he was in your life for so long. Heal. Focus on yourself. God will send you your man in time. In the meantime, DO YOU! Someone with your qualities will find a man who will compliment them and a man who will see you as the woman of his dreams.

 

[Princess4real]

I am extremely sorry to hear that you are going through this. The fact that you moved out is evident that you are ready to cut this poison out of your life, and I am proud of your strength and self-love. You are an intelligent and beautiful young woman.

You are also someone with a big heart to have a relationship with your stepdaughter as well.

You deserve a man who will honor and cherish you, and ONLY you. Pray and open your heart. Purge him out of your system, which may take time esp since he was in your life for so long. Heal. Focus on yourself. God will send you your man in time. In the meantime, DO YOU! Someone with your qualities will find a man who will compliment them and a man who will see you as the woman of his dreams.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Wow, a lot like the Halle situation with Eric Benet's daughter and all.

Beautiful and caring like yourself, but yet Halle got cheated on. It makes you wonder why men who find beautiful loving women risk all that, (cause it aint every woman that is going to take care of someone else's child), for someone who is on the outside.

Well girl, I know you are hurting right now but just breathe. That was the advice a man gave me who totally broke my heart a long time ago. He told me he knew it was going to hurt like hell but all I had to do was breathe. I don't know if he meant deep breathing or just don't go kill yourself...lol.

Suffice it to say, years later after his marriage failed, he had a love affair with coke, and almost lost his job we run into each other. He wants to tell me how he should have never left me and that he'd made a mistake. The first observation I made was that wow, I never realized he was that short.

I'm looking at him thinking well damn, you dumping me was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I just didn't know it at the time.

And so love it will be this way with you. You can't see it now, but he did you a favor. You owe him a big thank you, bcause he just shortened the time line for you to find the person you were truly meant to be with.

Imagine that true prince of a man who has been on hold all these years while you were with the dumb one. Girl tell that fool thank you and thank him again for the man you don't know yet, because he is out there.


I have to believe that because I broke up with my ex recently because of internet activity. Long story. I cried for 4 days, did the whole drunk dialing, begging via email and text (he won't even take my calls) I was pitiful. I was. But now I'm like who is he to deserve me? What I may be thinking of as love right now could very well be just an illusion. Well I know it is because I fell in love with someone who did not exist.

When I peeled back the skin he was not even there. It hurts no less, but I have to realize that he vexed me with a man I had created in my mind. Had I never looked to see what was really there, I'd still be with him...m-i-s-e-r-a-ble.

Now I'm free to find the person I can trust and be happy with, and for now that person is me. Take care boo. You'll be fine.

 

[caribeandiva]

i'm very saddened to hear this. i haven't been through it but i have friends who have. It sucks, and it hurts. So cry, scream, punch the wall, eat ice cream, and then cry some more because you'll feel much better afterwards. So this guy wasn't the one. You'll meet the one who's truly yours soon and your ex will get what's coming to him.

 

[Much2much41]

Wow, a lot like the Halle situation with Eric Benet's daughter and all.

Beautiful and caring like yourself, but yet Halle got cheated on. It makes you wonder why men who find beautiful loving women risk all that, (cause it aint every woman that is going to take care of someone else's child), for someone who is on the outside.

Well girl, I know you are hurting right now but just breathe. That was the advice a man gave me who totally broke my heart a long time ago. He told me he knew it was going to hurt like hell but all I had to do was breathe. I don't know if he meant deep breathing or just don't go kill yourself...lol.

Suffice it to say, years later after his marriage failed, he had a love affair with coke, and almost lost his job we run into each other. He wants to tell me how he should have never left me and that he'd made a mistake. The first observation I made was that wow, I never realized he was that short.

I'm looking at him thinking well damn, you dumping me was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I just didn't know it at the time.

And so love it will be this way with you. You can't see it now, but he did you a favor. You owe him a big thank you, bcause he just shortened the time line for you to find the person you were truly meant to be with.

Imagine that true prince of a man who has been on hold all these years while you were with the dumb one. Girl tell that fool thank you and thank him again for the man you don't know yet, because he is out there.


I have to believe that because I broke up with my ex recently because of internet activity. Long story. I cried for 4 days, did the whole drunk dialing, begging via email and text (he won't even take my calls) I was pitiful. I was. But now I'm like who is he to deserve me? What I may be thinking of as love right now could very well be just an illusion. Well I know it is because I fell in love with someone who did not exist.

When I peeled back the skin he was not even there. It hurts no less, but I have to realize that he vexed me with a man I had created in my mind. Had I never looked to see what was really there, I'd still be with him...m-i-s-e-r-a-ble.

Now I'm free to find the person I can trust and be happy with, and for now that person is me. Take care boo. You'll be fine.

I like this post, but LOVE the bolded. I had a boyfriend cheat on me years ago with his ex (well, obviously, not the "ex", he just told me she was) and got her pregnant. I was devastated, not to mention highly embarrassed, but I picked up my life and kept it moving. Fast forward to about two weeks ago, and I saw his name in the Department of Corrections database. When I tell you his rap sheet is long and ridiculous, PLEASE believe it. Two years after we broke up, he started going to jail, and hasn't spent more than 6 months to a year out at a time since. He's currently doing 6 years. God don't like ugly. The thing is, I've moved on so well that I didn't feel "vindicated" at all, just very neutral about it, even a tad bit of pity. He will have to pay for the way he treated you, and now that he is out of the way, you'll be in a position to receive the blessings you deserve. Hugs to you!

 

[MrsBKJ]

I hope you are ok and getting through this.
I'm sorry that you are having to go through this but your actions show that you are a very strong person and did the right thing.
Take care
*hugs*

ETA: Eliza a very beautiful post thank you for sharing.

 

[1Specialk]

Just wanted to send my prays and support, also.

 

[ONAMSHN]

Your ability to move on should help you realize that you are stronger than you actually thought you were! If you ever need a listening ear, send me a pm! *BIG HUG*

 

[rdm]

Wow girl, this kind of thing is never easy, especially when you have so much time invested. Be proud of yourself for making the decision to raise your standards and demand more for yourself. Just remember that no matter how bad you're feeling, it's only temporary. By continuing to make better decisions for yourself and being choosey about who you allow to be in your life, you stand to gain so much more. Stay strong sis. Move forward with no regrets. You'll be a better woman for it.

I could not have said it better myself.

You did the best thing for yourself. You sent a strong and clear message that you do not deserve to be treated like dirt. Stay strong and keep your head up!!!

 

[carameldiva]

SerenityBreeze, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I went through the same scenario without the moving out part. We were together for almost 2 years. Just like Beyonce's song- I upgraded this fool. About half way in the relationship, he started cheating with a girl that he introduced to me as his cousin. Girl and they had me believing that she was gay. I always saw her with her tongue down another broad's throat and whatnot. She even tried to holla at me. NOT! He had a young daughter 5 when we met 7 when it was over. He started dating her while dating me and all of his friends knew about it. I didn't find out until Christmastime when the girl called me and explained it. Of course, then this fool is still like trying to tell me it only happened once. So because i was afraid of being alone and had planned on marrying this man. I said i would forgive him if it was only once. Ruined my holidays with my family. Ya'll i lost 20 lbs over Christmas and New Year Holidays (3 weeks), I was home with family in NC. When i got back, we were supposed to reconcile on New Year's. He calls me and says that he just can't do this anymore. That he gave my house key and parking pass to the neighbors and it was over- called after midnite to tell me this. I saw him a couple of times after all this. Went through the dram of the "new" girl calling and playing on my phone. Her insecurity that he was still seeing me because of what she did, etc. He finally stopped calling after a year, can ya'll believe that and this is after he broke my heart. He said he couldn't understand why i didn't want to see his face, negro please. I was so done. Now it is all about me. I am now a full-time student in addition to working full-time for the federal government. God has blessed me and I am so glad that the trash is out of my life. Of course, him and her broke up as well w/i six months cause he cheated on her as well. Did she really think he wouldn't?

So for the long vent, but it does get better. My family and good friends surrounded me. I went back to church and did a whole lot of praying and within a few months i was able to go back out and party. Now i haven't been in a serious relationship since then because I am extremely picky now and at 37 don't have time to waste or play with. I refuse to settle. I am a nice, good-looking, intelligent woman and I deserve so much more than what he gave and so do you. Take Care and God Bless.

 

[carameldiva]

One more thing, the cheating is never about us. It is not about how much he is getting from you, it is about him period. It is his problem, so don't let it bring you down. You are a beautiful woman inside out and deserve so much more than he was able to give you.

 

[candiel]

I'm glad you had the courage to take a stand and move out. You should never have to settle for less. I know you will get through it and some months from now you'll be so glad that you made this decision.

((Hugs))

 

[DeepBluSea]

Been there and have seen friends and relatives thru it. Be prepared for the begging of ALL beggging. He will want counseling now. Be prepared to be offered gifts of reconciliation (jewelry, trips). You may even get asked for your hand in marriage. I can bet the child will be used as a pawn. I mean he will really tear at your heart strings. You have to stand firm and hold your ground. I think men who cheat hate it more when you are the one to break it off. Like the other ladies have said, you are worth so much more. Don't settle for less.