Flying to SC tomorrow to meet my online BF...

You already know what your ex is about and he seems to have a lot of baggage. An ex wife who is in and out of his life and the fact that he is inconsistent and not exactly straight forward with his communication these days. I'd say you have nothing to lose by exploring a new relationship with someone who seems to have a lot of potential. But in the end you will know what's best for you. Please sign me up for the Big Girls version.
 
GodsGrace said:
Eliza it would seem simple wouldn't it. But isn't it always like that, as soon as you get a good thing going, somebody comes and tries to throw a wrench in it.
I can see a little physical similarities between them, but IMHO, SC looks way better than the ex.
As far as not being able to stop thinking about him, girl I've been there and the only thing that helped me was time, cause the more I tried to stop thinking about him, the more I would. Plus I would think to myself, now there's a reason why he's the ex, do I really want to go back there, and then I would focus on the positive people in my life.
Your ex sounds confused, or maybe he isn't because he knows that you're happy and he still wishes that it were him hence all the "we" plans. They can have some nice tricks up their sleeves when they want to. As far as I'm concerned he's playing games with your head and needs to stay in the backseat.
What you have going on with SC seems like the real deal, and it's going to take time to develop and mature. You're not going to get over the ex in one day, maybe not in a week, but you will. I know I wasn't much help, but I do understand.
Click to expand...

Amen, I couldn't agree more.. I think women or at least me tend to want what is not available to me or what is so complicated that it isnt what is ultimately right for me.. A older lady told me along time "you can't make a crooked line straight" Basically, if that is the games that he is playing now, doubtful that will change anytime soon. So, the decision you have to make is "Is this what you want for your life, the distrust, the games, etc.." or Do you want something else or different for you..

The truth is that in life there are no guarantees and you certainly know that.. SC already seems to be on a whole different level mentally, spiritually, etc.. I see no games... and that can be a very comforting thing as well as something that I see as beneficial to move to the level you want to be.. It's almost as from what you see, I see a partner in SC who is willing to put his money where his mouth is.. And it seems like EX is all mouth..

I mean time will tell.. I am not sure how to explain this but I think sometimes God puts people, situations in our life to show us better.. I mean think everything happens for a reason.. There is a reason why you meet SC.. He is similar to EX but he is different and maybe a better way.. Only you know that.. With your EX you have strong feelings for him because of time, you were involved. You may discover something deeper and stronger with SC.. or maybe someone else..

It sounds like that maybe not talking to EX at all is the best course of action. Like no communication at all.. That is the only way to get over him, if that is what you want to do.. Being in business together is certainly not going to acheive that.. I have the same problem with my SO. we are in the midst of a break up yet we have a small business venture together, I have no idea what I am going to do after we part ways..

My 2 cents....
 
andrea said:
Amen, I couldn't agree more.. I think women or at least me tend to want what is not available to me or what is so complicated that it isnt what is ultimately right for me.. A older lady told me along time "you can't make a crooked line straight" Basically, if that is the games that he is playing now, doubtful that will change anytime soon. So, the decision you have to make is "Is this what you want for your life, the distrust, the games, etc.." or Do you want something else or different for you..

The truth is that in life there are no guarantees and you certainly know that.. SC already seems to be on a whole different level mentally, spiritually, etc.. I see no games... and that can be a very comforting thing as well as something that I see as beneficial to move to the level you want to be.. It's almost as from what you see, I see a partner in SC who is willing to put his money where his mouth is.. And it seems like EX is all mouth..

I mean time will tell.. I am not sure how to explain this but I think sometimes God puts people, situations in our life to show us better.. I mean think everything happens for a reason.. There is a reason why you meet SC.. He is similar to EX but he is different and maybe a better way.. Only you know that.. With your EX you have strong feelings for him because of time, you were involved. You may discover something deeper and stronger with SC.. or maybe someone else..

It sounds like that maybe not talking to EX at all is the best course of action. Like no communication at all.. That is the only way to get over him, if that is what you want to do.. Being in business together is certainly not going to acheive that.. I have the same problem with my SO. we are in the midst of a break up yet we have a small business venture together, I have no idea what I am going to do after we part ways..

My 2 cents....
Click to expand...

See, this is why me a normally reserved and very private person, puts her business on the internet. Because you ladies always, always...come through with exactly what I need to hear. I feel much stronger now. As a matter of fact, I wish that nicca would call me. I have a few things to tell him.

He is just a liar, by ommission by intent. He knew all along he was getting back with that ex. They've done this for the last 5 years go back and forth. I don't know I couldn't see it then. She was content with staying gone until we sort of bumped into her one day. Then it was her coming by to see if she had mail, then to the office to see if her check was in, then...and then and then.

He told me that one time he was in his office eating the lunch I had made for him from the dinner I cooked the night before. He said she commented "well I guess you have moved on because I know damn well you didn't cook that for yourself. Is she pretty?" He said he just asked her what she wanted. And to not just walk into his office like that. Yeah right. Ugghh!! Liar. Liar. Liar. I hate men who lie.

So, I do think that SC being divorced only a 1.5 years still shows me some similiarities that I don't want to see...and conjures up some fears that make me wonder. You know how it is, the ex's never seem to surface until he moves on to someone better. They here they come with bells on.

I know that I am not going to mess up what I have or may have with SC. It's just like today I know he's at church. And he still goes to the church the ex goes to. Because they were there for like 12 years. It was his church first...I think or maybe they met there. So every Sunday, I'm just wondering I guess. She cheated on him and he filed for divorce, now she's with the other man.

All her aunts and other family go there as well and keep telling him to hang in there. That part makes me want to tell him to find another church. He told me that he's even told them he wants nothing to do with her, but they feel like he was the best thing that ever happened to her and of course to them to. They know he's a good man and will no doubt become even more successful one day.

Can you tell a man to find another church without coming across as insecure?
 
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ultrasuedea said:
You already know what your ex is about and he seems to have a lot of baggage. An ex wife who is in and out of his life and the fact that he is inconsistent and not exactly straight forward with his communication these days. I'd say you have nothing to lose by exploring a new relationship with someone who seems to have a lot of potential. But in the end you will know what's best for you. Please sign me up for the Big Girls version.
Click to expand...

You have expressed my feelings as well. I dealt with a person who did the serial internet dating and I wasn't enough for him. Yes he comes back periodically looking for a little dessert, but I have to stay true to myself and say no. I want more than he is offering and I am worth it.

OP, I hope that you give your new relationship a chance, but whatever you do, be happy.
 
ElizaBlue said:
Can you tell a man to find another church without coming across as insecure?
Click to expand...

Yes, OR you could handle it through prayer and let the Holy Spirit prompt him to change churches without you having to bring it up.

...and the HS can also instruct you on how to break that "soul tie" with your ex. :yep:
 
Whew, sweet lawd, he's indeed a sexxy MF:blush::blush::blush:
(ya'll made a cute couple)




BUT, remember he's an EX for a reason!!!!!!!!!....
 
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This is so weird. I mean I wasn't really worried about him going to church today I was just thinking about it because of the past. I look at my phone and his picture is up but no sound. My ringer is off. I just assumed he was at church and that was why he had not called. Then I was busy with my dad.

So I answer and he's telling me that he tried to call this morning because when he woke up our cams were off. This was about 4am. I didn't answer. He was wondering if I was okay because I never not answer my phone.

He tells me he didn't go to church, he's working on the trailer to his truck and later going to his parents. I told him that I didn't go to church because I have my dad here with me. He's like oh...I don't know I just been having crazy thoughts. I'm like about what. He's like I was just thinking...nevermind. Then...are you seeing someone else or are you back with your ex. WTF!!!!

This went on for a minute. I'm like where are you coming from with this. Then he tells me he had this crazy dream that I had gone back to my ex. And that in the dream the guy was wearing his clothes. Specifically the baby blue dress shirt.

Wait it get's more weird. He said when he woke up from the dream all he wanted to do was look at me, that he wasn't going to call me and wake me up. But when he looks at the cam my camera says "disconnected". So then he calls me and I don't answer. He calls back a couple of times. Then he calls my house phone and a man answers. He says the person asks him why is he calling his home asking for his wife.

I'm like are you sure you were not still dreaming. Then I'm like wait did the man sound like he was 86 years old. I thought maybe he really did call and my dad answered the phone. He was like no, it was a young cat.

So now I'm straight up baffled. My phone to my knowledge did not ring. But my cell was on vibrate. So I ask him to go back and look at his phone and tell me the number he dialed. It was my home phone number. I'm like....I can't explain it. I tell him do you really think I would fall asleep with you looking at me and then wake up with someone else.

He's like yeah, that's crazy I know. I'm like baby I cannot explain what happen but I swear to you I have not talked to anyone or been with anyone. I wouldn't do that to you or to myself.

But jeesh that is just creepy. There is no way to explain me feeling my ex's presence like I was and then for this to have happened. I feel like a character in the Twilight Zone. I know no one came into my home because I have a serious alarm system.

I'm thinking he must have somehow dialed the wrong number. But I'm sure he has my number programmed as I do all of his. The only thing I can even remotely think of is my daughter answered the phone and was playing. But she knows not to go that far.

Oh well. We are fine now. And just the fact that he even had the dream and told me about it makes me just want to not even think about the ex anymore. He probably is sending bad omens into my relationship. Creep.
 
Joyful1 said:
Yes, OR you could handle it through prayer and let the Holy Spirit prompt him to change churches without you having to bring it up.

...and the HS can also instruct you on how to break that "soul tie" with your ex. :yep:
Click to expand...

More detail please. I do pray, but well...the Holy Spirit?
 
Right! But I have always remembered that day as one of the Happiest Days of my life, if not the happiest day.
 
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please see what will be with mr SC. i think your ex is not worth your time. i understand you still love him but you will do yourself better if you love him from afar.
 
ElizaBlue said:
He tells me he didn't go to church, he's working on the trailer to his truck and later going to his parents. I told him that I didn't go to church because I have my dad here with me. He's like oh...I don't know I just been having crazy thoughts. I'm like about what. He's like I was just thinking...nevermind. Then...are you seeing someone else or are you back with your ex. WTF!!!!

This went on for a minute. I'm like where are you coming from with this. Then he tells me he had this crazy dream that I had gone back to my ex. And that in the dream the guy was wearing his clothes. Specifically the baby blue dress shirt.
He says the person asks him why is he calling his home asking for his wife.
Click to expand...

Did you tell SC about lhcf? He probably read your post about your ex. Men can be slick. Me think it's all a little to coincental. If you mentioned anything to him with the words Long, hair, care and forum in it, he may be on of the 20,000 hits this thread has gotten...lol
 
Crystal said:
Did you tell SC about lhcf? He probably read your post about your ex. Men can be slick. Me think it's all a little to coincental. If you mentioned anything to him with the words Long, hair, care and forum in it, he may be on of the 20,000 hits this thread has gotten...lol
Click to expand...

Too Funny, But Possible...

Sometimes I can talk myself out of something that is good for me, or that I have a fear of.. Then I start finding ways to justify why something that I know is wrong for me is right...

I mean I think alot of things are mental... I think that if you look for things to not go right they wont... Your new beau thinking he called your house and another man answering is unexplainable.. However, I feel like you have a real man that you are dealing with.. The fact that he has said that he will relocate for you and has pretty much said that he feels it's his responsibility to help you realize your dreams with out the games, lies and such.. Tells me it's at least worth exploring..

Also, knowing why he is divorced also says something about his character... So, I am sure he is feeling all these emotions for you and doubt sets in.. I mean it's a scary and exhillarating at the same time for him as well as you..

BUT THE EX IS OUT.. Not worthy of ElizaBlue ~_~
 
Crystal said:
Did you tell SC about lhcf? He probably read your post about your ex. Men can be slick. Me think it's all a little to coincental. If you mentioned anything to him with the words Long, hair, care and forum in it, he may be on of the 20,000 hits this thread has gotten...lol
Click to expand...

I thought about that one. But then I've never really told him the name of the site. He'd be looking for a blog. Because that's how he refers to it. Your little blog. Don't get me wrong though I don't put anything pass anyone. But he would have had to be fast to read my last post and then come up with that.

My webcam was off this morning and my phone was on vibrate. And he had left three messages from earlier about the time he said he woke up.

Here's what I think happened. Both my daughter and son went out last night. He does not have keys because when he doesn't make curfew, he is just locked-TF-out. Plus he had a tendency of sneaking girls into his room. A whole nother story.

When I woke up this morning both their cars were here. He was downstairs sleeping. So I figure he didn't want to wake me going upstairs to his room.

I asked my daughter what time did she get home. She said 2:30am. Yeah right. I asked her how did he get in the house and she was like ...I let him in. So what time was that, she says "about 3:30am." I'm like "why did you let him in?" No answer. Then "maybe it was 3:00am".

No. Maybe she didn't get in by curfew either is what I'm thinking.

I think they both missed curfew and probably showed up about 3:30am. By him being downstairs he had access to the house phone. I would be willing to bet money he is who answered the phone. We are not speaking because I won't let him drive my car. Fancy that, my gas is good enough for him to drive on but his money cannot stretch to paying for gas and food and clothes and his little girlfriends.

That one is always telling someone don't look at his mom and don't try to holla at his mom. So I can see him being pissed at me and doing something like this. I will be so so glad when this Spawn, leaves for college. He is getting on my last nerve.

The more I think about it I know he did it. This is just like him. He knows SC is serious about coming here and probably figures he will never see another dime if a real man was here. Well he ain't go see too many anyway.

Does anyone want to buy an 18 year old? I will make you a great price. He will come with his own water and food bowl.
 
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andrea said:
Too Funny, But Possible...

Sometimes I can talk myself out of something that is good for me, or that I have a fear of.. Then I start finding ways to justify why something that I know is wrong for me is right...

I mean I think alot of things are mental... I think that if you look for things to not go right they wont... Your new beau thinking he called your house and another man answering is unexplainable.. However, I feel like you have a real man that you are dealing with.. The fact that he has said that he will relocate for you and has pretty much said that he feels it's his responsibility to help you realize your dreams with out the games, lies and such.. Tells me it's at least worth exploring..

Also, knowing why he is divorced also says something about his character... So, I am sure he is feeling all these emotions for you and doubt sets in.. I mean it's a scary and exhillarating at the same time for him as well as you..

BUT THE EX IS OUT.. Not worthy of ElizaBlue ~_~
Click to expand...

The ex is so so out. He will only be a chapter in my book...literally. Maybe two. It'll be titled "The Cyber Cassanova".

And that is one of the things I really like about SC, he is open and willing to entertain any questions I have about him or his past.
 
EB............When two people are just that in tune with each other....it's kismet. SC knows something is up. He just doesn't know what. Don't let EX take away what may the best thing to happen to you this year. He has already apparently stolen too much of your time...
 
ElizaBlue said:
The ex is so so out. He will only be a chapter in my book...literally. Maybe two. It'll be titled "The Cyber Cassanova".

And that is one of the things I really like about SC, he is open and willing to entertain any questions I have about him or his past.
Click to expand...

Good move!!! As I told you in my PM, I am so familiar with the curse of the ex! For me it comes in waves...one day I miss him, next day the hell with him. But I can tell you this...when I gather up the pieces of our relationship over the years, and they really were pieces. None of those broke pieces come remotely to the quality of my present and future.

Gosh, I will be praying for your sista for strength, because love is there (SC)...grab it and hold on to it - it will flourish!
 
blkbeauty said:
Good move!!! As I told you in my PM, I am so familiar with the curse of the ex! For me it comes in waves...one day I miss him, next day the hell with him. But I can tell you this...when I gather up the pieces of our relationship over the years, and they really were pieces. None of those broke pieces come remotely to the quality of my present and future.

Gosh, I will be praying for your sista for strength, because love is there (SC)...grab it and hold on to it - it will flourish!
Click to expand...

Yep! I am so with you on that one. I have only had one weekend but that is exactly how I feel. I can look at him and see clearly all that I have been missing.
 
ElizaBlue

Thanks for the PM's get it girl is all I will say about that!

On your other dilema, he is your ex for a reason and he shall stay the ex. You keep doing what you and Mr. SC are doing and you two will be fine. As much as I know you would want to comment to the ex, leave that be. IF you should happen to run into him and he sees the bliss of contentment within you, you will truly be at peace. That is the best revenge. He is not worth your time, or thought patterns.

I wouldn't even contemplate any business with him either.
There will always be drama with him and since his ex is in the picture it isn't worth it. I have what is called a "Life is too short list" Just put him on the list and K.I.M....
 
If there is a part III BGO version I need a PM please.

EB, you have to start penning that book, girl. That would have you retired fromt he Police force, on your own dime, and both you and SC could live happily ever after.

As far as the ex-factor, pray pray pray.
 
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