Dressed up vs. Dressed down...Do more men approach you when....

[Crystalicequeen123]

....you're dressed up? Or when you're dressed down??

I swear I've been noticing that it seems like more men tend to approach me when I'm dressed DOWN as opposed to when I'm dressed up to the hilt! It's really weird! Like, for example when I'm going to the store with my hair in a bun, flip flops, jeans and a tee-shirt, or when I'm out sweating in the hot sun working on a construction site I tend to get more men talking/or approaching me (or making conversations).

But when I'm out with girl friends on a night out in the town, or dressed really REALLY nicely for a nice special occasion or party, I get little if ANY males approaching!

Even when I'm looking "bummy", I've noticed a difference in the WAY the men will approach me too. For example, when I"m dressed DOWN, guys will actually come up to me and TALK to me and start a normal conversation. When I'm dressed up, I still get men approaching me I guess, but it's very little and the men seem to just make cat calls, or say little "holla" words to get my attention, but they don't actually strike up a REAL meaningful conversation.

What gives?? I don't get it?

Have any of you ladies noticed a difference in male attention or approaching styles when you're dressed up vs. dressed down?? Plz share!

 

[syze6]

Dressed down..men hit on me when I KNOW I'm looking a mess! It is pure craziness

 

[ladylibra_30]

I wonder if women act more approachable when dressed down/relaxed vs. dressed to the nines/confined - men notice the difference.

What is a trip to me is when men who know they don't have a snowball chance in hell approach unsuspecting women - BUT I do admire his boldness

 

[loolalooh]

Dressed up.

It's the opposite for me. When I'm dressed down I tend to have that "no one better talk to me ... I'm going to Walmart and that's it" look, so maybe that's a factor.

 

[Strangefruittree]

I just had a crazy foolio in the gym hit me up while my makeup from work is falling off my face, my hair is in mid reversion i bought in missed matched socks.... I swear the damn draws was giving me an ill wedgie and I was struggling with the weight i was trying to lift. And here he comes obviously trying to holla... talking about how I "glow".... ( In my head Im like GTFOH- its sweat homie, and must we do this while im in beast mode, really?!)

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

I wonder if women act more approachable when dressed down/relaxed vs. dressed to the nines/confined - men notice the difference.

I think you hit the nail on the head, more or less.

It's not just about how you are dressed, I think. But also how your manner of dress affects the way you are acting.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

I think men who see women dressed up are intimidated by them. They might not feel like they have a shot, because they feel inferior, or they might assume that the girl is stuck-up. When they see women with a pretty face who are dressed down, they are more confident that they will strike a conversation with them, and eventually get their phone number. Its the same way with women, I saw a gorgeous guy in the club the other night, dressed to impressed, and I was afraid to approach him because 1) I was intimidated 2) I didn't think he would be interested. I asked him to dance and we did, but for the rest of the night, I spent my time talking to all the regular looking guys.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

Down 90% of the time I'm in jeans and a T. The few times that I'm dressed up I'm either with DH or surrounded by my girlfriends so that may play a factor

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I wonder if women act more approachable when dressed down/relaxed vs. dressed to the nines/confined - men notice the difference.

What is a trip to me is when men who know they don't have a snowball chance in hell approach unsuspecting women - BUT I do admire his boldness

Good point! I never thought about this but maybe it's true!

I know for the most part when I'm dressed down, I'm more relaxed, not really looking to "impress" any man, and I'm pretty much to myself. In fact, I really don't feel comfortable with men approaching me when I'm dressed down/sweaty because I know I don't look my "best". But maybe they just sense that I'm not acting "pressed" and feel like they can approach me w/out getting cut down.

I just had a crazy foolio in the gym hit me up while my makeup from work is falling off my face, my hair is in mid reversion i bought in missed matched socks.... I swear the damn draws was giving me an ill wedgie and I was struggling with the weight i was trying to lift. And here he comes obviously trying to holla... talking about how I "glow".... ( In my head Im like GTFOH- its sweat homie, and must we do this while im in beast mode, really?!)

LOL!! Right! Why is it always when you're looking busted, your hair is in a bandana, you have sweat rolling off your face, etc that men want to approach you?? I don't get it!

Well, at least then you KNOW that a man REALLY likes you, because if he can be interested in you when you're looking jacked up, then imagine when you're all "glammed up"!

I think men who see women dressed up are intimidated by them. They might not feel like they have a shot, because they feel inferior, or they might assume that the girl is stuck-up.

This is a good point too.

Sometimes it's just intimidation. I have to admit that sometimes people make inferences about you simply based on how you're dressed. Maybe some men think that these women who are dressed to the nines are a little "high maintainance"??

I've just always kind of wondered what gives... lol

 

[MissJ]

More men tend to approach me when I am dressed up, and when I say approach that includes strangers starting up random conversations when I am out and about. I look young, so nobody knows I am grown-up unless I dress a certain way. As a result, I tend to look like "that girl" whenever I go out for a significant length of time.

 

[ctosha]

Dressed down..men hit on me when I KNOW I'm looking a mess! It is pure craziness

Me Exactly I have to wonder what cheap crack are u smokin hun???

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

Me too ! When I'm very casual...it's raining men!

I'm always like WTF???

When I call myself fine.....hair, nails, toes, shoes, make up, outfit, - NADA!

I get the looks - you know that direct eye contact thing that men do....but no approaches.

I'm like what gives?? A guy friend of mine said that "some men" get intimidated when they see a gorgeous/attractive women, they think, "I'm not going to try, she is definitely NOT going to talk to me."

So when you're looking 'relaxed" they feel more confident, thinking they have a better chance!

Per my brother - men hate makeup...LOL
They don't know what they're getting...a man needs to know that's what you're going to look like in real life..LOL He's 23 BTW!

 

[Ashleescheveux]

I think men feel more secure hitting on a woman who they think is more attainable (ex: dressed down, toned down makeup, etc) than a woman who's dressed up to the nines and looks like she thinks shes the business. But that all depends on ones definition of "dressing up". My dressed down look is jeans, a blouse, a blazer/jacket and some flats. I dont do sweat pants or tees unless Im in the gym. I've had some male acquaintances tell me that before they got to know me they thought I was "uppity, stuck up, and too intimidating to approach" because of how I carry my self and my style of dressing on a regular day. Personally, I also feel a bit more comfortable approaching a woman who's dressed down because I assume she has less of an attitude than a dressed up woman. Hypocritical but oh well.

I do notice that younger guys hit on me more often when I'm wearing jeans. When Im in a dress or skirt they stare as if Im something from outer space and nudge each other and it ends there. HOWEVER, old arse men Im not interested in usually do hit on me when Im in a dress or skirt, meaningful conversation or not they're still a "do not want". It also depends on what part of town Im at.

Overall I usually get hit on the during the days I dont feel like Im the business.

 

[Bosslady1]

the more vulnerable you look, the easier they are attracted to you or more willing to approach you.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Dressed up: they stare but won't approach

Dressed down: they still stare but they will take the chance of coming over to me and standing like right by my hip but will not speak. So, I'm over here thinking, "I look like crap and now you want to stand close to me I guess hoping to strike up a conversation"

 

[necklengthcutie]

I'm pretty stylish so I rarely leave the house in sweats etc. I usually get hit on when I'm dressed up. I get more stares when I'm wearing a dress and heels. I was wearing a summer dress just last week at the liquor store with the biggest shades ever on, and this random guy on the other isle looks over and has the balls to ask me to remove my shades (so he could seem my whole face). I looked at him like he was an idiot and walked away. I also seem to get hit on when I ride the metro too. Some men these days.

 

[EccentricRed]

Dressed up: I get looks, but very few approaches to speak of. (I have to keep in mind that when I am wearing heels, my height is something like 5'11", so I'm the same height as a lot of dudes)
Dressed down: I get more comments! I will say that although I like to show off my curves when I'm dressed up, more men look at my behind in sweats/baskeball shorts. My boys even slip comments in occasionally. I RARELY wear sweats.

I think dudes like to see a woman in her natural form. If he is attracted to her in sweats, or lounge clothes, he is going to really enjoy looking at her in a nice dress or dressy fit!