Do You Fix His Plate?

Squikee

Squikee

Well-Known Member
So my male co-worker and I are having a debate on whether or not a woman should "fix" a man's plate for him. He says it shows love and appreciation. My argument is that he's not a child so I shouldn't treat him that way.

I honestly don't mind fixing my man's plate but I don't think he should expect it. What are your thoughts on fixing your man's plate?
 
Yes, I do...I do not have a problem with it. I love to make sure he is fed and happy. I do not know if he 'expect' it but I do know he really does appreciate it. However, he will cook and fix me food in a heartbeat.
 
I think it's endearing to "fix" someone's plate, but the only person you are "suppossed" to be doing that for is your child. If a man ever "expected" me to serve him our relationship would not last, just because of the principals if nothing else. Some men are really a trip.
 
I have and he fixes mine as well. It's not a big deal to me. I doesn't seem like he expects it.
 
I always hated how the woman is expected to make the man's plate, especially if she's been slaving away in a hot kitchen. I'd see that all the time at family functions while the man is sitting his happy behind down and the woman presents him with a plate like he's a little boy. When DH cooked, he'd make my our plates and when I cooked I did the same. If Im at a crowded function and very hungry Im like, "Every man for himself!"
 
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I fix plates, its how I grew up. It doesn't bother me or make me feel like I'm "serving" him. If I'm fixing his plate, its because I cooked. If he cooked, he fixes my plate.
 
I was raised to do it. I think of it as a kind gesture on the lines of a man holding the door open or pulling out a ladies seat. I was raised to fix a plate among other things for that special someone.
 
I fix DH's plate and don't feel like its my duty or expected of me, he'll fix me a plate too if i want him to
 
Squikee said:
...I honestly don't mind fixing my man's plate but I don't think he should expect it. What are your thoughts on fixing your man's plate?
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I think people have to do what works in their relationship, but your POV sounds like mine. :yep: I have no problem fixing DH's plate (especially when I cook dinner), but it's because we like doing nice things for one another to show we care, not because I'm fulfilling a "duty" as his wife.
 
We fix plates for each other Problem solved. Remember the give and take and mutual reciprocity. There you go
 
We fix each others plates often. Sometimes I will make a dish and while I am getting drinks he may fix our plates or sometimes I will fix plates for the both of us and then call him for dinner. Now if the food is still on the stove and he wants seconds, he gets up to get it himself.
 
I do when the mood strikes me. Lately I have been because Im trying to get DH to shed a few pounds and if he fixes his plate eat is sure to overeat.
 
If both of them fix plates for each other, then no problem.

My problem is with the men who sit back and EXPECT the woman to fix him a plate but never lift a finger to help themselves if she's busy or return the favour.

I have a friend who does that. There was one occasion when he was just sitting there playing some game on the playstation and she fluttering about pouring him a drink AND fixing his plate. He pauses the game and shouts out "Don't forget the ketchup!" I had this incredulous look on my face... I couldn't believe his nerve.
And she sometimes tried to rope other friends into fixing his plate too... for my birthday last year we went on a boat trip down to the islands... everyone chipped in some money for the gas and I provided the food... so time to eat and as usual he sits there doing nothing. And she's hustling about because he's hungry (so what aren't you hungry too? *rolls eyes*) and he likes to have everything at once... so she's doing his drink, putting out food and putting out dessert too... obviously her hands are full... so she asks me to make put some more food on his plate and carry it for him while she finishes off... I just raised my eyebrow and walked away like I didn't hear her. That's her man, not mine. If she wants to be his servant while he sits on his lazy behind then fair enough... don't ask me to get in on that as well! :rolleyes:
 
It varies. We've both fixed plates for each other, and sometimes we fix our own. I guess it just depends on the mood we're in.
 
If I cook then I fix the plates and if he cooks, he fixes the plates. The real battle begins when it's time for a second helping... whomever gets up first gets to make both plates.
 
My aunt does that. My uncle (by marriage) will sit there and she will fix his plate. I don't understand it really. He does nothing the whole time. I hate that. And all of the women in my family do this. I say if it works fine. But if he's yelling orders at you like you are the back room cook at a greasy spoon, then that's not right.
 
We talked about this at length on many ocassions :lol: and I'm still surprised at the women that don't or think it's being subservient:perplexed

I fix dh's plate, I always have and I really enjoy it. It's just a small way I show him affection and to me it's such a minor thing when he does so much for me. I'm a southern girl and I was raised to do it, I don't think anything of it actually. If he's late for dinner, I leave his plate in the microwave and even then I bring it to him when he gets home:look: I even bring dh's drink when we all sit down together, I don't think anything of it.

I'm pretty traditional in gender roles so it doesn't bother me at all. Dh doesn't expect me to put gas in my car or change my oil so to me, it's a very fair tradeoff. Oh and these things are just unspoken in our home, if it's a "woman" thing I do it and vice versa. I know all the new age people will say If I'm able bodied I can do the things dh does, but my thought is, why? He's a man let him do it.
 
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I do it... I dont mind. Especially if I am already fixing my sons plate and mine. He does the same for us. I think its just common curtesy, but I always ask him does he want me to fix his plate first. I do the same for my friends when they come by.
 
I do! I love to (except when I'm mad at him :look:) and he'll do the same for me. He doesn't expect it but he knows I'm going to b/c I always do.
 
I am not married, and I fix my SO's plate ... It's really not that big of a deal at all to me. SO loves it. All of my friends do the same for their SO. I was raised in a West Indian household, so seeing women do this is pretty common place, doesn't really require second thought. My SO is Black American and he told me his previous American girlfriends never use to fix his plate, their mother would do it for him :ohwell:. Not that I am that domesticated, but I def know how to make my man feel special by doing little things :yep:
 
Zaynab said:
We talked about this at length on many ocassions :lol: and I'm still surprised at the women that don't or think it's being subservient:perplexed

I fix dh's plate, I always have and I really enjoy it. It's just a small way I show him affection and to me it's such a minor thing when he does so much for me. I'm a southern girl and I was raised to do it, I don't think anything of it actually. If he's late for dinner, I leave his plate in the microwave and even then I bring it to him when he gets home:look: I even bring dh's drink when we all sit down together, I don't think anything of it.

I'm pretty traditional in gender roles so it doesn't bother me at all. Dh doesn't expect me to put gas in my car or change my oil so to me, it's a very fair tradeoff. Oh and these things are just unspoken in our home, if it's a "woman" thing I do it and vice versa. I know all the new age people will say If I'm able bodied I can do the things dh does, but my thought is, why? He's a man let him do it.
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I totally agree with this! I am pretty big on gender roles as well. I know for sure if I had a car, I would expect my SO/DH to take care of it, the only thing I'm trying to do is push my key and drive. When I'm married, I totally see myself doing certain things for my DH and making him feel like a man, just like I expect certain things of him :yep: .
 
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