Dating For Marriage: Advice, Tips, Suggestions

CafedeBelleza said:
So the hostess brings you to your table and your dh sits first, and you stand behind him and drape the napkin? Or you both sit, then you drape him?
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No. Y'all are making it way too hard :lol:

First, We always sit beside each other when we're eating, yes we are that couple. Picture eating drinking laughing, hoestess brings food and after she brings food and napkins, I just reach for his napkin, unfold it and put it in his lap. It's very simple.
 
This smiling thing is toooooo easy. Grown sexy men turning to butter when I speak to them.

Unfortunately I know exactly how I got away from being my true bubbly self. I got hurt over and over. Taken advantage of. Told I was too nice. Plus I hated the attention from old men. So I stopped being friendly. Shot myself in the foot. But I’m picking back up and nicely cutting people off that don’t serve or respect me. Grinning and greeting everyone, regardless of the dry arse “hey” I may get in return sometimes
 
kupenda said:
This smiling thing is toooooo easy. Grown sexy men turning to butter when I speak to them.

Unfortunately I know exactly how I got away from being my true bubbly self. I got hurt over and over. Taken advantage of. Told I was too nice. Plus I hated the attention from old men. So I stopped being friendly. Shot myself in the foot. But I’m picking back up and nicely cutting people off that don’t serve or respect me. Grinning and greeting everyone, regardless of the dry arse “hey” I may get in return sometimes
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Good for you! That’s awesome!
 
kupenda said:
This smiling thing is toooooo easy. Grown sexy men turning to butter when I speak to them.

Unfortunately I know exactly how I got away from being my true bubbly self. I got hurt over and over. Taken advantage of. Told I was too nice. Plus I hated the attention from old men. So I stopped being friendly. Shot myself in the foot. But I’m picking back up and nicely cutting people off that don’t serve or respect me. Grinning and greeting everyone, regardless of the dry arse “hey” I may get in return sometimes
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Yay! I'm so glad to hear that!!! I know smiling is so simple but it's the easiest thing to change about yourself and will be practice on any man or person, they WILL respond I promise.
 
Zaynab said:
Yay! I'm so glad to hear that!!! I know smiling is so simple but it's the easiest thing to change about yourself and will be practice on any man or person, they WILL respond I promise.
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This is sooo true. I was on the train and this older man started talking to me. just light conversation nothing relationship related. I was smiling and laughing because the conversation was interesting and easy. Before he got off the train he said, ' Have a nice day. You have such a beautiful smile'. Men love approachable women. But be careful some of them who are trying to talk to you are just plain old crazy. Those do not get a smile. LOL
 
Maybe you guys could help. I met this guy on a dating app. When we first talked on the phone we talked for 2 hours straight. I had to hang up. Then he called me everyday after that and I picked up everyday and we had great convos. But then I pulled away because I was starting to get attached and that was the last thing I wanted especially since we hadn't met yet. He was very butt hurt about it and he was butt hurt that I never contacted him first. I never contacted him first but it was because I didn't want to come off too needy and as I got to know him he was the textbook closed off alpha male and I don't like to date men like that.

He said he doesn't play games and he meant it. In this case could playing games have hurt me instead of helped me? Or is that a red flag? I want to know for next time if I run into this again but with a guy who isn't so alpha-male
 
L.Brown1114 said:
Maybe you guys could help. I met this guy on a dating app. When we first talked on the phone we talked for 2 hours straight. I had to hang up. Then he called me everyday after that and I picked up everyday and we had great convos. But then I pulled away because I was starting to get attached and that was the last thing I wanted especially since we hadn't met yet. He was very butt hurt about it and he was butt hurt that I never contacted him first. I never contacted him first but it was because I didn't want to come off too needy and as I got to know him he was the textbook closed off alpha male and I don't like to date men like that.

He said he doesn't play games and he meant it. In this case could playing games have hurt me instead of helped me? Or is that a red flag? I want to know for next time if I run into this again but with a guy who isn't so alpha-male
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You did the right thing. He should've asked you out instead of tying up all your time on the phone. The fact that he didn't and is crying about you not calling is a red flag. A real alpha male would've asked you out within a couple days. Just my two cents.
 
oh! Ladies what is your take on kissing on the first date? I always allowed it but a friend of mine didn't. When a guy went in she turned and had him kiss her cheek. I feel its prudish, as long as I kept my legs closed, but she felt it was leaving him wanting more.
 
Flourishnikov said:
You did the right thing. He should've asked you out instead of tying up all your time on the phone. The fact that he didn't and is crying about you not calling is a red flag. A real alpha male would've asked you out within a couple days. Just my two cents.
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oh no sorry I should have clarified. We lived in two different states. I get free flights and I felt to NYC to register for classes and that's when we met up. He set that up and took off work and everything. But the conversation wasn't there anymore. I could tell he closed himself off from what I did
 
Zaynab said:
No. Y'all are making it way too hard :lol:

First, We always sit beside each other when we're eating, yes we are that couple. Picture eating drinking laughing, hoestess brings food and after she brings food and napkins, I just reach for his napkin, unfold it and put it in his lap. It's very simple.
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We are that couple that sit next to each other too... people sometimes comment:giggle:
 
Okay, what does this napkin trick consist of? Please point me in the direction of the post where she says what it is. TIA!
 
How do you answer the so you don’t have sex until you’re married? You’re gonna out yourself in a box like that? Like unless you know it’s about to be a ring in your finger you’re not gonna smash?

How to seduce by slowly evolving. I know my problem in the past is that it got too serious too fast. We probably go from talking to dating to coloring in a month. I don’t think I did a good job of building enticipation.

I read this: But give him a glimmer of hope that’s one step higher than the last time the both of you went out. Don’t get it? If you’ve clasped his hand on the first date, allow him to hold your palm on the second. If you’ve exchanged a little peck on the lips on the third date, share a bit more on the next date. It doesn’t matter if you’ve started with just a smile, every now and then, share just a bit more even if you’ve not been on a date with him just yet. It’ll let him know that the relationship is evolving slowly, and it’ll help him realize that you’re starting to like him a lot too.

When I begin dating, I plan to try to incorporate the art of seduction techniques as well as your tips to set myself apart and make him know/think I am a catch. Tips?
 
Things are looking up! I’m talking to two guys right now. I really like how the second one approached me. He wasn’t awkward or fidgety, nor was he overly confident and assertive. He asked me if I was available on a certain day, at a certain time, to go to a certain place. Dude #1 was all “hmm I wanna see you but what should we do? I can’t think of anything!” Oh really? True. Me neither *shrug*
 
So, I've joined match.com again. I decided to put myself out there again since I haven't met enough men in my day-to-day from which to screen.

Anywho, I joined last week, and so many men have messaged me. I've spoken to five on the phone, and have a date with one tomorrow. I just got back into town today (I travel for work) and he wanted to push it up to today, but I told him I needed to decompress, but if he wanted to cancel, that was fine. He was like, "No, no . . .I'm just anxious to meet you!" Get this y'all . . .he's a 27 y/o wb(?!). :lachen: WHAT am I doing?! (I'm 42).

A 29 y/o Black Man messaged me (before the wb), and I immediately shut him down due to his age, but he sent me the loveliest follow-up message about being stable in every way and emotionally available . . .aiight. I'm just trying to get my dating skills up, since I've never practiced rotational dating. I'm just going to stay open and have fun with it.

I specifically said that I was looking for marriage-minded men.

ETA: 27 y/o cancelled . . .said he was thinking about the age difference. *shrugs* At least he texted to cancel. 29 y/o is a flake too. :lachen: I told my 21 y/o that I was going out with a 27 y/o tonight, and he said he disagreed with that. He said that I'm a "seasoned" woman and need a seasoned man. :lachen: He ain't lyin' though. :) I dislike online dating immensely. :lachen:
 
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Silkycoils said:
So, I've joined match.com again. I decided to put myself out there again since I haven't met enough men in my day-to-day from which to screen.

Anywho, I joined last week, and so many men have messaged me. I've spoken to five on the phone, and have a date with one tomorrow. I just got back into town today (I travel for work) and he wanted to push it up to today, but I told him I needed to decompress, but if he wanted to cancel, that was fine. He was like, "No, no . . .I'm just anxious to meet you!" Get this y'all . . .he's a 27 y/o wb(?!). :lachen: WHAT am I doing?! (I'm 42).

A 29 y/o Black Man messaged me (before the wb), and I immediately shut him down due to his age, but he sent me the loveliest follow-up message about being stable in every way and emotionally available . . .aiight. I'm just trying to get my dating skills up, since I've never practiced rotational dating. I'm just going to stay open and have fun with it.

I specifically said that I was looking for marriage-minded men.
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Yes girl!!! Get some!!

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Create that rotation full of young tenderonis! I keep seeing y'all ladies talk about these young manboys so I might need to lower my age requirement. :look:
 
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