Niece In Business School And Distraught Over Lack Of Dating Prospects....advice?

[sgold04]

All I'm saying is IRL I see tons of BW across all age groups getting married, re-married, or in LTRs with quality BM (my def of quality man is pretty basic = financially stable/goal oriented, attractive, God-fearing, cultured), but then there's others who have clear struggles in this area. It is really mind boggling to me. I would've never thought it was so difficult.

There are a number of challenges that vary by location and the woman, but to your point, not every woman values the same thing. If this were my criteria I'd be boo'd up right now. I meet men like this allllll the time and they adore me....I have no interest in them. The ones I meet in my current location who fit this mold are basic TO ME: no wit nor reflectiveness, the semblance of open-mindedness but generally the opposite, educated but lacking intellectualism.

It's a no for me dawg.

 

[sgold04]

Ok, ya'll are giving advice when we don't have enough information. I've also had gotten my MBA and it's basically all about positioning yourself appropriately relative to the market. If I wanted a date, I would get one by the end of the week. QUALITY men/dates though needs more filters and I'm still working on perfecting that

1. Where is her MBA program located? What are the demographics? Median age/Race/etc? It helps to know if she's in the middle of nowhere OR near a big city.

2. What are her professional goals? I wouldn't use certain conferences as grounds bc people act a damn fool and many BW who are looking for BM tend to follow this advice and so you're competing with a broader swath of women.

3. What is her personality like? Does she go out? Is she active (i.e bike, hike, ski, etc)? Is she more introverted?

4. Why is she distraught? What is her mental state right now? She gotta hold herself together - she'll be fine, she just needs to be absolutely ruthless about where she is and what she wants.

QTNA!

My advice will vary based on the answers to these questions.

 

[DarkJoy]

And that is what I am saying---- when you are younger the more choices you have
So do I have to entertain men younger than me to have more of a quality pool? Because mid 30s+ the quality isn't there. I mean, I am not making this up--- there are a lot of single women complaining about the same thing so there is a problem (or disconnect somewhere).

IDKY you keep falling back on the age thing lol. If you're approaching mid-30s then there's <5 years between us, & we are in the same dating age group. Typically I date men older than me, but just so happens God made my future hubby a bit younger & I ain't no fool

I'm not saying you're making it up at all (yours is a common sentiment on the board), nor am I saying you have to entertain older, younger, fatter, taller, shorter, etc. to be found by a great guy. You will likely have to compromise on SOME area, bc that's just life & some of our desires are very specific, but that's all personal choice. All I'm saying is IRL I see tons of BW across all age groups getting married, re-married, or in LTRs with quality BM (my def of quality man is pretty basic = financially stable/goal oriented, attractive, God-fearing, cultured), but then there's others who have clear struggles in this area. It is really mind boggling to me. I would've never thought it was so difficult.

Are you all in the same geography? location is everything so your experiences will definately differ.

here the population of black ppl is like 20% and shrinking due to gentrification. so 10% of the entire pop is male. account for too young (children to millenial-im mid 40s), too old (elderly), married and those with records, gay, or prefer non black women and its a needle in a haystack. why I'm branching out again with no guilt when I'm ready to date.

so yea... there's a bunch of factors at play.

 

[movingforward13]

I am in DC but I am speaking from an East Coast perspective. If I were younger, I think I would be more satisfied with the dating pool. At my age (yes I know, my point of view) most people are already paired off and the ones left aren't really quality type men (my definition of quality).
It could just be that I need to let go of one of my requirements say dating a guy that is 5'6 versus the 5'10 that I like to open my pool but then I am settling and won't necessarily be happy with that.
I don't deal with younger guys because they usually don't have the maturity and vision I am seeking... but it seems like the older guys don't either via horror stories I have heard *shrug*
I didn't mean to make this a debate---- just simply saying a lot of us older women have dating woes so I agree with the "take advantage in the undergrad years" sentiment.

And I remember reading an article- it stated that dating for east coast women was harder because we outnumber men. They said to look west coast... however I seen on here that west coast black men don't date black women and they make it painstakingly obvious...

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

And I remember reading an article- it stated that dating for east coast women was harder because we outnumber men. They said to look west coast... however I seen on here that west coast black men don't date black women and they make it painstakingly obvious...

I hear/read these sentiments as well and it's always followed by Houston (and Texas for that matter) is for Black women who want better dating opportunities.

 

[Shiks]

1. Go to parties
2. Business conferences. My beat is Africa so I would go to the major Africa conferences.
3. Alumni. do your research then position yourself.

 

[AlexandriaKiera]

Tell her to open up her dating options. I get approached by primarily white men. If I only dated black men, I'd be single too OR with less quality of a man. No thank you.