Dating African Men...

[Danewshe]

You are right, especially considering the fact that so many Black girls don't have protective fathers or other male figures in their lives, so yeah, that was a bit harsh.

If my uncle had not stepped in, it would have turned out differently for sure. Also, the fact that the guy was a Fright Night, he looked like a cross between Seal and Shabba Ranks, didn't help his case either. LOL! But knowing how crazy my father's side of the family is, he was not going to put a ring on my cousin's finger as long as her father was alive and breathing.

Lawd have mercy! Lmao!!

 

[MayaB12]

@ Ross Boss -The Black Americans are the white folks here comment makes no sense. Is it just the African women bashing AA men on this board? Last I checked this was a predominately AA board so my guess is that most people complaining about Black American men are Black American women.

 

[RossBoss]

@ Ross Boss -The Black Americans are the white folks here comment makes no sense. Is it just the African women bashing AA men on this board? Last I checked this was a predominately AA board so my guess is that most people complaining about Black American men are Black American women.

No, I wasn't talking about that.

 

[mischka]

Yeah, I don't get what it means for "black Americans to be the white people" mostly because I don't understand what it means for white people to be discussed on this board.

 

[NaijaTroll]

GraceV-thanks for shining some light on the mindset of the Nigerian women/men you know. So this may explain why a 'hell naw' or 'get da hell on' to a Nigerian man at a club is useless. Lol, he used to it-he thinks its a part of the chase. Lol, how can I convincingly tell him that that dirty Martini he purchased me was not an engagement ring, but a drink and that's it? J/k. How do you say in Yoruba or Hausa 'get the hell on!' ? Lol.

Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX

Even Ive yet to master the "why dont you get it that I dontwantchu" talk. Really you just have to ignore them.

 

[NaijaTroll]

Any Black American woman who falls for this scam a la Terry McMillan DESERVES everything she gets. There is no way I am looking at a guy who does not have a green card and is in the market for one. My cousin fell head over heels for some African guy (don't remember what African country he was from) my uncle (her father) shut that down right away because I think there were some green card issues and even though she was a grown woman at the time, my uncle told him that if he did not get away from his daughter he was going to put a bullet in his head and that right there did it. My cousin has since married a great guy and is thankful her dad did that. Some people can be so gullible.

agreed.

Dont know how many times Ive tried to warn women and they respond to me like Im jelaous of their "African prince". Cant say I bother anymore.

 

[jerseygurl]

I don't get the white folks analogy either. But she did clarify her comment and that was okay with me.

 

[lux10023]

very well said...

and on topic--ive dated african men and had great exps and although DH is not african i actually prefer african men based upon my personal experiences...

its sad that AA sep themselves from our African ancestery--to me we are all one..carribean..african..etc ect..but i think the topic of this thread is str8 insane--men r men--no matter what color...

this blk man bashing is insane---if they r so bad get a dildo and just call it a day and leave them be for the rest of us...shidddddddddddd

Honestly as a proud Kenyan woman, I'm so offended. Surely ladies, aren't African men black men also? We sit here every single day and talk about how not all black men are horrible or does that only apply to Non African black men? If I came here and talked trash about my experiences with Non African black men and wrote them all off for the same reasons you are all speaking about, how long would I survive here without being called everything but a child of God? Many Non African black men have done the exact same things that you are accusing African men of doing. At least 80% of the extremely horrible dating experiences we read about on this board are about AA men yet many of you have gone on and found other AA who have treated you much better and even married them. Whenever a celebrity or average joe writes off black women due to a few negative experiences, you are all up in arms about how not all black women are trifling. Well, not all African men are trifling. I guess the pain would be much less if the African man was a legal citizen vs a "fence jumper" so to speak. These sterotypes will ruin us in the long run as they will spill over into other areas of our lives especially in the work place. Our personal biases will cause us to work against each other and undermine each other thus continue failing as a Black community as a whole. We may be the only ones who know the cultural differences amongst us, but to everyone else we are all Black. I rest my case and will not comment any further.

 

[aleemah]

stop bashing BLACK MEN... hypocrites

 

[Bmack]

I know of two cases in NH where a Naija man married a woman then kicked her to the curb once things were clear and bought his family here.


I would not apply this to all, but I know these two cases were devastating for the women they were blindsided. Why do this and not just pay someone instead of tearing someone to pieces so you can stay in the damn country-yikes.

On another note. I know plenty Naija men who cheat on their Naija women so...

All men are a mess

 

[Bmack]

I have a question and I do not want to offend anyone because Oreo's can be found in AA's too. However, I am friends with the Nigeria man who got his PHD in Germany and lived there for some years. Everytime he makes a reference to his culture back home, it is "Oh, in Germany we do it like this or that," but never in Africa/ Nigeria WTF?

Additionally, his daughter who is very young (pre-teen) says that she is from Germany, but was born here in the US, after they moved from Germany. I just find this strange. I suppose I want to know if I am the only person who experienced this

 

[mischka]

Ok, question. If an African man marries an American woman and gains citizenship, can he divorce her and then grant citizenship to an African woman since technically he is a citizen now too? Secondhand citizenship giving?

 

[MissJ]

To keep it short and sweet, I'm divorcing one! I'll never go there again...BIG no no for me.

Care to elaborate?

 

[Katherina]

Ok, question. If an African man marries an American woman and gains citizenship, can he divorce her and then grant citizenship to an African woman since technically he is a citizen now too? Secondhand citizenship giving?

IDK but that's a good question.

 

[RossBoss]

I know of two cases in NH where a Naija man married a woman then kicked her to the curb once things were clear and bought his family here.


I would not apply this to all, but I know these two cases were devastating for the women they were blindsided. Why do this and not just pay someone instead of tearing someone to pieces so you can stay in the damn country-yikes.

On another note. I know plenty Naija men who cheat on their Naija women so...

All men are a mess

New Hampshire, of ALL places. I bet the woman felt like an idiot. If I ruled the world (like Nas..lol) that "citizenship by marriage" setup would be toast. The scam is so well known I don't know why American women continue being a meal ticket for these leeches, Jeez.

 

[ThickHair]

Ok, question. If an African man marries an American woman and gains citizenship, can he divorce her and then grant citizenship to an African woman since technically he is a citizen now too? Secondhand citizenship giving?

Short answer NO, he is US Citizen. There isn't seperate degrees of being a US citizen, it is black and white; either you are or you aren't. (A permanent resident "green card carrier" is not a citizen; asylees and refugees are NOT citizens). Then he would have to marry the woman from his homeland. Um, no secondhand citizenship within the context of this question.

The only implied citizenship is if a US citizen bears a child outside of the US, the child is a US citizen. Dual citizenship, I am fuzzy on that one.

ETA: If he was married to the lady from his homeland and then married a woman in the US, he would be a bigamist and his marriage to the American woman would be invalid. He has created a whole nother set of problems for himself. If he wasn't married to the lady from his homeland, then he can bring her to the US, marry her and start the process of her become a citizen.

 

[RossBoss]

Lawd have mercy! Lmao!!

lol..Her father, heck the whole family, was like she aint dragging that ugly thang into this here family to mess up our genepool..lol..He was *****!

 

[mischka]

Short answer NO, he is US Citizen. There isn't seperate degrees of being a US citizen, it is black and white; either you are or you aren't. (A permanent resident "green card carrier" is not a citizen; asylees and refugees are NOT citizens). Then he would have to marry the woman from his homeland. Um, no secondhand citizenship within the context of this question.

The only implied citizenship is if a US citizen bears a child outside of the US, the child is a US citizen. Dual citizenship, I am fuzzy on that one.

ETA: If he was married to the lady from his homeland and then married a woman in the US, he would be a bigamist and his marriage to the American woman would be invalid. He has created a whole nother set of problems for himself. If he wasn't married to the lady from his homeland, then he can bring her to the US, marry her and start the process of her become a citizen.

Girl, you just confused me even more.

 

[ThickHair]

Girl, you just confused me even more.

What is unclear? I will explain.

I will try to explain.

#1 Noncitizen John Ghana married Jane United States, soon after the marriage, he complete the process for him to be naturalized. A while after John Ghana is naturalized and is a US citizen he divorces her because he wants to bring his wife Jean Ghana to the states. John Ghana is a bigamist because he married Jane United States while he was married to Jean Ghana. He will have issues with the government. I don't know if they can take away his citzenship or not since it was obtain via fraud.

#1 Noncitizen John Ghana married Jane United States and becomes a US citizen. He divorces her because he wants to bring his GIRLFRIEND Jean Uganda to the states. Jean Uganda is not a US citizen. She has to go through the same channels that John Ghana went through to become a US citizen. She is not automatically a citizen all because she married John Ghana. It is equal to John Ghana's original situation, he did not automatically become a US citizen because he married Jane United States.

Information on Spouse's of US Citizen's. This is from the immigration and naturalization government site. http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/us...nnel=a0ffa3ac86aa3210VgnVCM100000b92ca60aRCRD The requirements seem simple, but I heard it isn't a walk in the park. Plus you must be a permanent resident for 3 years, in most cases.

 

[lesedi]

We were asked fr our experiences and we answered truthfully to the best of our knowledge. Clearly such a thread calls for non-pc-ness??
We don't all have to agree. Really. It's ok.
Some of us prefer not to date non-African men and again.....that's ok.
Some people just love to preach

 

[MissSenegal]

Ok, question. If an African man marries an American woman and gains citizenship, can he divorce her and then grant citizenship to an African woman since technically he is a citizen now too? Secondhand citizenship giving?

Yes, after he divorces his US citizen wife he is free to marry. If the person he marries is not a us citizen he can petition for them and get legal status.

 

[nappystorm]

Damn
*no longer feels sheepish*

 

[NaijaTroll]

I have no problem with people citing their experiences with African men, even Nigerian. As one it desnt bother me. Not sure why others are though. Now when a person bashes the wmen then I'll have a problem. Yall dealt with ANB so that's done.

Not gonna deny there are some of these men who are insane but Ive noticed the women they usually take advantage of, could have easily been taken the same way by others. Some even go as far as treating non-Nigeran women better than they do Nigeran women and if they dont..they noticed something other men noticed as well.

Ju's saying

Care to elaborate?

You seem obsessed.

 

[NaijaTroll]

I have a question and I do not want to offend anyone because Oreo's can be found in AA's too. However, I am friends with the Nigeria man who got his PHD in Germany and lived there for some years. Everytime he makes a reference to his culture back home, it is "Oh, in Germany we do it like this or that," but never in Africa/ Nigeria WTF?

Was he born In Nigeria? Has he even be to Nigeria?

 

[NaijaTroll]

We were asked fr our experiences and we answered truthfully to the best of our knowledge. Clearly such a thread calls for non-pc-ness??
We don't all have to agree. Really. It's ok.
Some of us prefer not to date non-African men and again.....that's ok.
Some people just love to preach

agreed. Iono see the problem.

 

[UmSumayyah]

The implication here is that African women are not pretty - why you backtracking now? Judging by some of your comments it seems as if your idea of good looking is - "light & brown skin, light eyes..." I feel sad for black people worldwide - we are constantly tearing each other down and creating barriers where there should be none.

A typical girl of any culture/ethnicity/race hovers around average. Too me it reads that her guy friends chose above-average looking women.

 

[january noir]

Hitting me, verbally abusing me, cheating on me, getting 2 other girlfriends during the course of our 4-year relationship (trying to be like his other African friends who were pros at this), going to see the other girlfriend in my car, one of the others in another country while the other was in the same city, lying since day one, lying to everybody about any little thing.

I found a lot of things out about him after we broke up. When I met him, he was supposedly a nice Christian. Christian but crazy!

The other guy I was not dating, but I was trying to help him. During the time I knew him, he kept telling me that he was going to get me pregnant before I graduated law school. He wanted me to be pregnant walking across the stage at graduation. He wanted to do all of this before getting married. I wouldn't touch that guy with a ten-foot pole! I blocked him on my phone and cut off communication with him. He would later get into contact with me again asking me if I was ever going to F him. He used such vulgar language, too.

OMGoodness. These 2 sound like real winners The Afrincan Man #1 was a first rate a-hole.

How African Man #2 fixed his mouth to say those things to you. He definitely had no class. It's obvious he wasn't a Prince.

 

[Zuleika]

OMGoodness. These 2 sound like real winners The Afrincan Man #1 was a first rate a-hole.

How African Man #2 fixed his mouth to say those things to you. He definitely had no class. It's obvious he wasn't a Prince.

Oh but he was! You just don't understand his princley ways. Infact he was a KANG!

 

[MissJ]

We were asked fr our experiences and we answered truthfully to the best of our knowledge. Clearly such a thread calls for non-pc-ness??
We don't all have to agree. Really. It's ok.
Some of us prefer not to date non-African men and again.....that's ok.
Some people just love to preach

Yes. You can't take these experiences away from us, and we are not talking about all African men.

 

[FocusLady]

I remember a post of a member here who found out her African boyfriend had a wife. She said all his family knew and never said anything to her.

Hey, that was me. I found out my Nigerian ex had went to Nigeria and married a family member of his. Something about getting her papers to come here to go to school. This girl turned out to be his family member for real I met her; I already knew her mom and brother who are both here in America. However I still didn't stick around because he tried to hide it from me and lost all my trust. My ex wasn't a cheater and is a smart, sweet guy. However his Nigerian "brothers" and friends who are here are BIG whores and think they are God's gift to African American women. I'm not turned off my African men but I have heard stories and had one bad experience.