I know a nigerian "royal" family here in london. I laugh everytime I see their names on facebook. It's: Prince (Insert name here) and princess ......
Dating African Men...
- Thread starter Amante
- Start date
I know a nigerian "royal" family here in london. I laugh everytime I see their names on facebook. It's: Prince (Insert name here) and princess ......
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
I just stopped dating one from Uganda. He was a sweetie and he wasn't a man whore. I can't say anything bad about him and his views on marriage and family. However, he was trying to do too much waaaayyyy too soon and eventually broke up with me because I was dragging my feet.
Can I learn to pronounce your last name before we run off to the courthouse?
I don't need a $20,000 wedding but can we at least save up enough for Vegas, a dress, and some pictures? Can we go on some more dates? Can my family and friends get a chance to meet (and threaten) you first? We just met in January, can we make it to June without me getting an ultimatum? 
I asked for marriage minded guy and damned if I didn't get it
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
He hadn't. He is here on a student visa and he is training for the Summer Olympics next year. He said he couldn't have the work and student visa at the same time. I don't know about all that but considering the fact he already has a degree, I told him he needs to look into switching that ish over because I ain't marrying a ninja without a job^^^Had you gotten around to asking him if he had his papers yet?
He could have had a student visa then applied for an Employment Authorization Card. I don't know the proper protocal for such though. If his student visa expired or if he is no longer is school and he doesn't have a green card or employment authorization, there is a chance he is an illegal.He hadn't. He is here on a student visa and he is training for the Summer Olympics next year. He said he couldn't have the work and student visa at the same time. I don't know about all that but considering the fact he already has a degree, I told him he needs to look into switching that ish over because I ain't marrying a ninja without a job
MayaB12
New Member
I think wanting to get married that quick is fishy too. Maybe he is on scholarship and he isn't allowed to work? Just out of curiosity what Olympic even is he training for?
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Oh really? He told me something like he had a work visa after graduation, went to Europe one summer to run and by the time he got back the work permit had expired. He reapplied for a student visa. Now he's taking B.S. classes at a community to stay in the country.
He kept telling me they only way he could "take care of me" is if we get married because then he can work. I kept telling him I know waaaayyyyy too many immigrants over here working and I won't even consider it until he gets that ish straight.
Hell, my professor been here 19 years working and she just become a citizen last year.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Yeah, he initially came on a scholarship. I don't know what's the deal now that he's graduated. He runs track professionally. Don't worry, I got my FBI on
. I Googled, met his coach, teammates, and went to one of his practices. Everything was legit on that end. Apparently, track is pretty lucrative in European countries. The same way I'm not marrying an unemployed rapper trying to "make it", I'm not doing the same with an athlete. I don't know if that makes me a "hater" or "unsupportive" but it is what it is.
Opey
New Member
IDK i just observe, but i'd rather he pray and smoke than just smokesmoker yet prayerful..erplexed
The smoking thing seems very common amongst the ones raised in the UK as opposed to the US for some weird reason.
MayaB12
New Member
Yeah, he initially came on a scholarship. I don't know what's the deal now that he's graduated. He runs track professionally. Don't worry, I got my FBI on
It can be pretty lucrative - If he is dedicated he could make a good living. Also when he is done racing he could coach varsity athletics.
Why am I rooting for him? I don't even know him lol - I'll stop here.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
Not to be offensive. They aren't very 'Americanized' girls. Hang with Africans, talk with a thick accent, big booty, natural hair, true to culture. They were the type of women their mother would approve of. Though I try to avoid stereotypes, lets be real...in a line up of black women or men...I'd think some were American and others maybe not so much. Its not to be offensive, its reality.
Last edited:
Katherina
Well-Known Member
I've had more bad experiences than good. I attribute this to the "bad" ones being out and on the prowl (for sex) more often than the good ones (who want marriage). I have my preferences but I still like African men. I know several nice, intelligent, well-cultured African men.
My mom (African) dated an African guy who had a wife in his country.
My main issue has been discerning the dishonesty. With American guys I quickly discern it but it's more difficult with African guys because of our cultural differences. When a man from another country and language tries to manipulate me (e.g. "In my culture we do not let women sleep on the couch" - um, no negro, that means you want me to get in bed with you & that ain't gonna happen) it still throws me off a bit. I've gotten better at reading them though.
I spoke to one of my Nigerian guy friends (just came to the US for college) about the "controlling" thing and he explained the dynamic to me. It made sense.
My mom (African) dated an African guy who had a wife in his country.
My main issue has been discerning the dishonesty. With American guys I quickly discern it but it's more difficult with African guys because of our cultural differences. When a man from another country and language tries to manipulate me (e.g. "In my culture we do not let women sleep on the couch" - um, no negro, that means you want me to get in bed with you & that ain't gonna happen) it still throws me off a bit. I've gotten better at reading them though.
I spoke to one of my Nigerian guy friends (just came to the US for college) about the "controlling" thing and he explained the dynamic to me. It made sense.
NaijaTroll
New Member
^can you go in depth?
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
I realized that after Googling and chatting with his friends. I wasn't tripping. I just thought it was a good idea to wait until he's a little more established before he gets so serious. It's one thing to find your away alone but it's another to do it with a wife (and possible kids) in tow. I would have stuck around since he was training, had raced before, and belonged to one of those club thingamajigs but I just need a little more stability before I say "I do". Apparently, he didn't see it that way.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
I also have a bartendar who is Ethopian. Been going to him for quite some time and just found out he's married. He's 23 or something and the girl needed her papers. So, ALOT of this is done. I've seen this alot in my family (I'm Trinidadian) and other island/foreign families. So sometimes these are marriages of convenience.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
Uh oh. I hope I didn't misinterpret. I don't want to make any mistakes as a Halfrican cuz youse authentic.
Okay, I told the guy that I've heard many women (African included) say that they prefer other because African men are controlling. He said that even though it seems like they're controlling, they're really not.
He said that his dad would "assert his dominance" over his mother so that it appeared like he was controlling from the outside but it was actually just the way they interacted, the male-female or husband-wife dynamic.
For example, his dad would let it be known that he had a say in how things went and he is the man so he makes the decisions, etc. My friend made it seem like his dad would also be the more vocal of the two. But his mom usually got her way or ended up doing what she wanted anyway after his dad got finished saying what he had to say. He just needed to say it.
ETA: Does that sound similar to your experience?
Last edited:
Shoot that doesn't sound like an "African" thing, that sounds like a lot of successful marriages. The women just let the men think they are in charge. It keeps the house nice and quiet.
I thought you knew something new. Psst, that aint nothing.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
Sorry I didn't type any deep dark African cultural secrets for you guys. But that's what he told me.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Uh oh. I hope I didn't misinterpret. I don't want to make any mistakes as a Halfrican cuz youse authentic.
Okay, I told the guy that I've heard many women (African included) say that they prefer other because African men are controlling. He said that even though it seems like they're controlling, they're really not.
He said that his dad would "assert his dominance" over his mother so that it appeared like he was controlling from the outside but it was actually just the way they interacted, the male-female or husband-wife dynamic.
For example, his dad would let it be known that he had a say in how things went and he is the man so he makes the decisions, etc. My friend made it seem like his dad would also be the more vocal of the two. But his mom usually got her way or ended up doing what she wanted anyway after his dad got finished saying what he had to say. He just needed to say it.
ETA: Does that sound similar to your experience?
I had an Asian professor (a woman) say the same thing. Maybe that's why I get along with foreign men so well. I let men
because I know I'm going to do what I want anyway And if he starts that b.s., I don't yell, scream, and bust windows, I just 
and keep it moving.NaijaTroll
New Member
Lmao. Katherine, I wasnt trying to make you feel bad, I just was curious on what new EXCUSE he could have come up with for their behavior. Seems more like an overall alpha male thing though
Thanks for answering me.
Thanks for answering me.
xquisitduchess
Active Member
i have dated alot of men from different races and cultures. My current boyfriend is African( Ghanian) he is by far the best boyfriend i have ever had. He treats me very well . I am Nigerian by the way and he is my first African boyfriend. I dont think African men are any worse than other men. I just think we hear negative things about them because thats just the way things are, you generally hear terrible things about men and dating period.
MissJ
Well-Known Member
Hitting me, verbally abusing me, cheating on me, getting 2 other girlfriends during the course of our 4-year relationship (trying to be like his other African friends who were pros at this), going to see the other girlfriend in my car, one of the others in another country while the other was in the same city, lying since day one, lying to everybody about any little thing.
I found a lot of things out about him after we broke up. When I met him, he was supposedly a nice Christian. Christian but crazy!
The other guy I was not dating, but I was trying to help him. During the time I knew him, he kept telling me that he was going to get me pregnant before I graduated law school. He wanted me to be pregnant walking across the stage at graduation.
He wanted to do all of this before getting married. I wouldn't touch that guy with a ten-foot pole! I blocked him on my phone and cut off communication with him. He would later get into contact with me again asking me if I was ever going to F him. 
He used such vulgar language, too. 
BlackHairDiva
Well-Known Member
I was gonna ask a thread somewhat similar to this one. I'm curious to know about dating Arab men. There is one Syrian guy who seem so cute. I'm thinking about maybe dating. Oh what the heck....I will start the thread!
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
You put up with this madness for 4 years?Hitting me, verbally abusing me, cheating on me, getting 2 other girlfriends during the course of our 4-year relationship (trying to be like his other African friends who were pros at this), going to see the other girlfriend in my car, one of the others in another country while the other was in the same city, lying since day one, lying to everybody about any little thing.
I found a lot of things out about him after we broke up. When I met him, he was supposedly a nice Christian. Christian but crazy!
The other guy I was not dating, but I was trying to help him. During the time I knew him, he kept telling me that he was going to get me pregnant before I graduated law school. He wanted me to be pregnant walking across the stage at graduation.
Where was he from? I noticed that I mostly hear these horror stories about West African men, particularly Nigerians.
MissSenegal
Well-Known Member
I love African men. I only have one non West African ex. All but one of my relationships ended on good terms. I've never dated a Senegalese guy but I am trying to find one. I have a little crush on one of my Senegalese friends but I believe he has a girlfriend so I'll keep looking.
MissJ
Well-Known Member
You put up with this madness for 4 years?
Where was he from? I noticed that I mostly hear these horror stories about West African men, particularly Nigerians.
The second guy I was not dating, and I was only around him for about a month. Basically, I was bored during the summer. I don't know where his wanting to get me pregnant came from. He was a mess all around, and I stopped trying to help this broke charity case. He was so irresponsible! He has nothing but good things to say about me, though.
I met the first guy when I was 19. He was not like that from the start. He studied 8 years to be a priest in Africa. When he decided he didn't want to be a priest, he moved here. He was also 19 when we met. I was also very religious at the time. He was very popular on campus. Everybody loved him, even everyone in my family.
From age 19 to 23, he changed into something different entirely. Most of the changes came in the 3rd year, after he had moved to London. That's when he started cheating and doing those things I had no idea he was doing. I only found out about them after we had broken up while reading his e-mail. I am so glad I did, because he was trying to get back together with me while living with the girl he was cheating on me with in London.
He's Nigerian, and the last time I heard from him, he was trying to get me to meet him at a hotel in the city where we went to college. He was weaving lies into his story as usual, but I am no longer naive to believe anything he says. This is him trying to not be recognized after doing all of his dirt across several continents: Don't date him, girl!
He's racist against African-Americans anyway!
Last edited:
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
I'm married to a South African man. He is simply amazing 
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
WTH is up with these Nigerian men? They just come over here and show their @ssesThe second guy I was not dating, and I was only around him for about a month. Basically, I was bored during the summer. I don't know where his wanting to get me pregnant came from. He was a mess all around, and I stopped trying to help this broke charity case. He was so irresponsible! He has nothing but good things to say about me, though.
I met the first guy when I was 19. He was not like that from the start. He studied 8 years to be a priest in Africa. When he decided he didn't want to be a priest, he moved here. He was also 19 when we met. I was also very religious at the time. He was very popular on campus. Everybody loved him, even everyone in my family.
From age 19 to 23, he changed into something different entirely. Most of the changes came in the 3rd year, after he had moved to London. That's when he started cheating and doing those things I had no idea he was doing. I only found out about them after we had broken up while reading his e-mail. I am so glad I did, because he was trying to get back together with me while living with the girl he was cheating on me with in London.
He's Nigerian, and the last time I heard from him, he was trying to get me to meet him at a hotel in the city where we went to college. He was weaving lies into his story as usual, but I am no longer naive to believe anything he says. This is him trying to not be recognized after doing all of his dirt across several continents: Don't date him, girl!
Similar threads
