WorkInProgress88
Well-Known Member
im 100% Nigerian (Igbo) and so are my brothers ... they are GOOD men ... just had to say that
Dating African Men...
- Thread starter Amante
- Start date
NaijaTroll
New Member
ThickHair and others, J has always been slick at the mouth when it comes to Africans esp Nigerians hence my comments. Wasnt trying to derail the thread so my apologies to YALL
Lol perhaps he knows the reputation of his fellow brothers
Im dying @ "whambulance"
YES!!!!!!! That is why I am likeerplexed whenever he talks about Germany!!!
Lol perhaps he knows the reputation of his fellow brothers
Im dying @ "whambulance"
Actually Africa is a continent made up of 54 sovereign states or countries.
ETA: I got it, sarcasm.
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The only African man I've dated is Cape Verdean. He was loving, caring, very handsome. Overall a great catch but way to sensitive to deal with my sarcasm. He family was cool too. Actually, I kinda dated another CV, he was military and not really like my ex at all. It's hard to group all people based on nationality/ethnicity. Everyone's different, you never know unless you give it go.
SN: I'm open to dating anyone regardless of background. I guess my preference would be non-American because I feel like Americans lack culture...JMO.
SN: I'm open to dating anyone regardless of background. I guess my preference would be non-American because I feel like Americans lack culture...JMO.
allmundjoi
New Member
I think Mischka was being a tad facetious. That's why her original statement had quotes around Africa. I am guessing she knows its a continent.
Off topic, is it just me or do some Egyptians seem to seperate themselves from Africa. I know a lot of Egyptians and all of them are proud, but don't see themselves as Africans. Its weird, select sample I guess...they are all physicians. Idk. You ask a Nigerian where he is from and he'll say Africa and Nigeria. You ask the same of an Egyptian and he will say Egypt. Period.
In elementary, they would speak of Egypt as if it was a continent. It was until 3rd grade I knew the truth. Lol.
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lesedi
All is well with me
I remember kids in my class when I was about 10 yrs old being shocked when they found out that Egypt is in Africa. The elephant in the room being: how can such a intellectual, scientifically advanced state be in Lowly Africa?
ohhhh.....and they got that 'good hurr' so no-one cant tell them nuttin
ohhhh.....and they got that 'good hurr' so no-one cant tell them nuttin
I think a lot of people in the world just don't know that Egypt is in Africa. They talk about it as if it is seperate. Plus I learned that a lot of children don't even have Social Studies anymore, so Lord help them when they can't even find Egypt on a map of the world, much less their on state on a map of the US.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
I remember kids in my class when I was about 10 yrs old being shocked when they found out that Egypt is in Africa. The elephant in the room being: how can such a intellectual, scientifically advanced state be in Lowly Africa?
ohhhh.....and they got that 'good hurr' so no-one cant tell them nuttin
I think Mischka was being a tad facetious. That's why her original statement had quotes around Africa. I am guessing she knows its a continent.
Off topic, is it just me or do some Egyptians seem to seperate themselves from Africa. I know a lot of Egyptians and all of them are proud, but don't see themselves as Africans. Its weird, select sample I guess...they are all physicians. Idk. You ask a Nigerian where he is from and he'll say Africa and Nigeria. You ask the same of an Egyptian and he will say Egypt. Period.
In elementary, they would speak of Egypt as if it was a continent. It was until 3rd grade I knew the truth. Lol.
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I know an Egyptian. One day, he's black, the next day day he's white and another day he's Egyptian but he has a thick a$$ accent. LMAO. I just shake my head at him.
Carolina18
New Member
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PrincessScorpion
Well-Known Member
I remember kids in my class when I was about 10 yrs old being shocked when they found out that Egypt is in Africa. The elephant in the room being: how can such a intellectual, scientifically advanced state be in Lowly Africa?
ohhhh.....and they got that 'good hurr' so no-one cant tell them nuttin
Alot of Egyptians don't think they are African either. I use to work with some that would say they were white or middle eastern. They got mad at me because I asked them when did Egypt moved because the last I check it was on the continent of Africa.
Bmack
Active Member
Bmack
Active Member
Yeah, you did say that -and it is not hard to believe since there are billions of people in the world
Ese88
Well-Known Member
in response to the question about natural hair in Africa, I am a Nigerian, born and raised in London but currently in Nigeria and natural hair is seen as a bad thing(i have natural hair btw). I am constantly asked when i am going to do my hair and why it is not relaxed. I am sorry to say that I have not seen anyone with natural hair unless it is a low cut that has been barbed but to carry an afro around is seen to be unkempt and as if you can't be bothered to do your hair. Relaxed hair whether braided or weaved up is the norm. Natural hair is not.
RossBoss
Well-Known Member
Now that you mention it, I agree with this. I have seen many Black Americans cling to Egypt like a baby to its mother's tit and I'm thinking that both you and I are thinking about the same reasons why.
RossBoss
Well-Known Member
Alot of Egyptians don't think they are African either. I use to work with some that would say they were white or middle eastern. They got mad at me because I asked them when did Egypt moved because the last I check it was on the continent of Africa.
Yet, let there be an opportunity to benefit from being an "African" or "minority" and they'll be quick to list that as their heritage.
RossBoss
Well-Known Member
He'll claim "Black" if he needs to start a business and wants to take advantage of programs reserved for being a "minority". This is why I feel that the term "minority" should be done away with in its present meaning.
DayStar
Well-Known Member
@wednesday I'm not too sure about this. I along with other girlfriends have left the country and have had our cards mailed to the school and even our homes in Canada. You have a few weeks to get a job lined up, and you can apply for a card up to 60 days after graduation aswell. (things could of changed, I graduated last May)
I agree with everything else.
I agree with everything else.
@nappystorm The work permit after graduation only lasts for one year. If you leave the country while it is being processed they cancel it, trust me i know. People don't understand how hard it is to get a work permit/visa in the US. There is so much red tape and so many limitations. Sure there are plenty of illegals here working using stolen social security numbers, but if you're trying to do things legit it is so so so difficult. I'm a British citizen am in the same position and every immigration lawyer i have ever talked to (and there have been MANY) have to me to marry my SO.
I'm not that desperate to live here and i only intend on getting married the one time so there is no way i would do it for papers. But people do it all the time.
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wednesday
Well-Known Member
DayStar
Hey are you talking about the OPT work visa?
Mine application was cancelled when i went home for a few weeks because i left the country while it was being processed (that is the reason i was given) It processing takes up to 90 days. They also didn't give a time limit to find employment, once they approve the OPT it is valid for one year
I don't know if it differs from State to State. Also I think they have different rules for people coming from Canada/Mexico and the Carribean. My friends from Canada and the Islands have always been given 3 year F-1 visas, whereas me and my friends from Europe and Asia have 5+ year F-1 visas.
DayStar
Well-Known Member
yes.... 5+ year, yea, you are coming from so far, whereas I just drive acoss the boarder 4+ hours . Makes sense.
90 days? lawd, I know it could take that long, mines came in a week. I guess it does depend on where you are from.
. Makes sense.90 days? lawd, I know it could take that long, mines came in a week. I guess it does depend on where you are from.
@DayStar
Hey are you talking about the OPT work visa?
Mine application was cancelled when i went home for a few weeks because i left the country while it was being processed (that is the reason i was given) It processing takes up to 90 days. They also didn't give a time limit to find employment, once they approve the OPT it is valid for one year
Naijaqueen
New Member
I'm Nigerian (raised all over), DH is Nigerian, and I love him, God loves me and brought a man who is just like my daddy...takes good care of me and I absolutely love my marriage.
I have dated non-Africans and Africans (mostly Nigerian from all over),I wanted to chime in and while this is Nigerian, I believe this applies to most African men. This also applies to those born here because our culture is quite dominant and many of the rules apply regardless of where you were raised.
1) The men have it hard. Lord I'm so glad I was born female. The men are raised to be providers, its great if your wife has a great job, but the society will frown if you are depending on her income to pay the bills.
2) The men have to deal with responsibility. They are expected to take care of not just their wife and kids, but parents and siblings. If uncle Joe dies back home, even if you have never met him, you are expected to send your own share of money for the lavish burial. If you are a woman, they'll use that as an excuse (she's a woman, leave her alone), but if you are a man, thats one thing to use against you/your father, if you dont contribute.
3) I know this is big for Nigeria. When a Nigerian man takes a woman out, he is expected to pay, even if its a woman he doesnt know. Back in the day, I would go out with my male cousin and their friends, and when the bill came, the females around didnt bother or perp like we were chipping in, wasnt expected. Now imagine being the broke guy with nada!
4) Somehow in the midst of the sending money back home, you are expected to have some form of a degree. Nigerians are BIG on education, even a bachelors is like water in the Nigerian society, so added pressure. Working fulltime and trying to get the degree.
5) If the dude has it made, his status is good, meaning he was born here and grew up here, born here and went home with his parents and is back, so he doesnt have to worry about not taking a full load of credits to keep his student visa.
6) Now as a man, folks back home are wondering why has this fool not bought/built a house back home yet? Just in case folks think oh Africa, that should be cheap. On the contrary, we are talking about say $300k and up, and Nigeria is a cash based society, hard to get loans, without the right connections. I know how much my dad paid to build a huge house that we dont even live in (matter of fact makes the one they live in the US look like a hut), it was expected of him.
7) African families can be tough to handle if you arent familiar with the culture, when in doubt though, its best to shut up and smile. If you are dating someone and the fam doesnt approve because you arent African, its usually because they feel that it'll take him away from the culture and that the lady wont understand the culture. Such as family having to stay over for extended periods of time, helping the family out and all. I am Nigerian (even though raised in multiple cultures), speak my language, go home often, and even to me its hard sometimes.
There are more I can add, but will save that for another day. Its a hard knock life being an African male. I feel sorry for my brother and male cousins and my husband sometimes. Now if you dont understand the culture(s), you would try to "stop" it but that only serves to take away from his masculinity in that society, which he is trying to keep, no matter how far removed from it he is.
The Nigerian and African society is tough, so many Nigerian men come off as cocky and arrogant to those who might not quite understand their struggles. Most of the time its all smoke and no fire, if the man is acting way too domineering, many times its because that was what he saw around him growing up, and he probably doesnt know any better. Each man is different but one thing is for sure he will take care of home and take care of his children (put food on their table, make sure they are happy and get educated), because those are principles that he was taught from birth, part of what defines him as a man.
I have dated non-Africans and Africans (mostly Nigerian from all over),I wanted to chime in and while this is Nigerian, I believe this applies to most African men. This also applies to those born here because our culture is quite dominant and many of the rules apply regardless of where you were raised.
1) The men have it hard. Lord I'm so glad I was born female. The men are raised to be providers, its great if your wife has a great job, but the society will frown if you are depending on her income to pay the bills.
2) The men have to deal with responsibility. They are expected to take care of not just their wife and kids, but parents and siblings. If uncle Joe dies back home, even if you have never met him, you are expected to send your own share of money for the lavish burial. If you are a woman, they'll use that as an excuse (she's a woman, leave her alone), but if you are a man, thats one thing to use against you/your father, if you dont contribute.
3) I know this is big for Nigeria. When a Nigerian man takes a woman out, he is expected to pay, even if its a woman he doesnt know. Back in the day, I would go out with my male cousin and their friends, and when the bill came, the females around didnt bother or perp like we were chipping in, wasnt expected. Now imagine being the broke guy with nada!
4) Somehow in the midst of the sending money back home, you are expected to have some form of a degree. Nigerians are BIG on education, even a bachelors is like water in the Nigerian society, so added pressure. Working fulltime and trying to get the degree.
5) If the dude has it made, his status is good, meaning he was born here and grew up here, born here and went home with his parents and is back, so he doesnt have to worry about not taking a full load of credits to keep his student visa.
6) Now as a man, folks back home are wondering why has this fool not bought/built a house back home yet? Just in case folks think oh Africa, that should be cheap. On the contrary, we are talking about say $300k and up, and Nigeria is a cash based society, hard to get loans, without the right connections. I know how much my dad paid to build a huge house that we dont even live in (matter of fact makes the one they live in the US look like a hut), it was expected of him.
7) African families can be tough to handle if you arent familiar with the culture, when in doubt though, its best to shut up and smile. If you are dating someone and the fam doesnt approve because you arent African, its usually because they feel that it'll take him away from the culture and that the lady wont understand the culture. Such as family having to stay over for extended periods of time, helping the family out and all. I am Nigerian (even though raised in multiple cultures), speak my language, go home often, and even to me its hard sometimes.
There are more I can add, but will save that for another day. Its a hard knock life being an African male. I feel sorry for my brother and male cousins and my husband sometimes. Now if you dont understand the culture(s), you would try to "stop" it but that only serves to take away from his masculinity in that society, which he is trying to keep, no matter how far removed from it he is.
The Nigerian and African society is tough, so many Nigerian men come off as cocky and arrogant to those who might not quite understand their struggles. Most of the time its all smoke and no fire, if the man is acting way too domineering, many times its because that was what he saw around him growing up, and he probably doesnt know any better. Each man is different but one thing is for sure he will take care of home and take care of his children (put food on their table, make sure they are happy and get educated), because those are principles that he was taught from birth, part of what defines him as a man.
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