Crackers Crumbs: Tales Of A Successful Matchmaker. They's Married Now!

Crackers Phinn said:
Neither my niece or her mama understands what it means, they both think he sells insurance.
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A quick google search will solve many a mystery!

I know that's your fam and all but dang your niece really needed this come up for several reasons. Hopefully she wises up the next go around. That is if you'll offer up your services to her again.
 
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Sadly she will not wisen up on her own. It will take either a baby or momma sleeping with one of her boyfriends for her to wisen up. Momma has her in her clutches and is probably taught her not to let anyone turn her against her. So it will take something drastic to get her to wisen up. Otherwise she likely won't see the light until she's single and her looks have faded and she's older, and will reflect on how her mother sabatoged her life or after having a bunch of kids to secure the bag and see that's not the way to get men to stick around although seeing as how her mom has 11 kids you'd think that would be evident already. So sad
 
Zaynab said:
Can she be saved? I love projects. She needs a goodt prayer circle like we had for Ciara. We need to bind up all ratchedness and ratchet mentality.
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I hope so.

Honestly she's doing well to be in her mid-20s without a kid. It is a big thing to break that cycle of having OOW kids and having them at an early age. She seems mindful of not having kids right now, if nothing else.

@Crackers Phinn Pat yourself on the back for that. I'm sure having you in her ear helped to prevent it.

Now you gotta get her to leave her mama and live on her own. Keep working on her and get her ready for the next matchmaking session. I do think that you should try it again, give her another chance.

Tell her to keep her mama out of her own finances and her next SO's finances too. Mama should never get a whiff of the his true finances (especially if he has a high income potential) and stay out of their business period.

ETA: Could you set her up with a mentor? An older black lady who can teach her some things? She probably needs to hear them from someone outside of the family.
 
I'm still crying over the Actuary part. My Dad is a CPA and he told me that anyone who can pass those exams is a mathematical genius. That's why they are very few and in extra high demand.

Woiy, let me go pour libations to the Gods of our ancestors and grieve for this tragedy. Jesus needs back up. And the man has manners and common sense on top of that? Woiy, Woiy, what a great loss.
 
Its going to take more than just saying don't involve your mom in your affairs. Dysfunctional crazy ish is programmed into people from birth, she has to unlearn all that mess. First step being seeing that its dysfunctional and crazy. if you are not programmed like she's been you are looking at her mother as a cautionary tale, she isn't. Most people never unlearn the foolishness so generational cycles persist.
 
JFemme said:
I have a niece such as you speak.. I tried my damness to school her but each year it was on the next bum, till she was knocked up...

Fast forward a few years, and she aching to be free of the responsibilites.

Yes, the mama had her in her clutches... I will not go into details as you never know who is on here board..

Family dynamics are truly fascinating... smh
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I have a couple of these ignorant mama birds in my family too.

It's sad how many mothers plant seeds of stupidity in their children's relationships, I think because jealousy or wanting to keep their hooks in them.
 
prettyinpurple said:
I hope so.

Honestly she's doing well to be in her mid-20s without a kid. It is a big thing to break that cycle of having OOW kids and having them at an early age. She seems mindful of not having kids right now, if nothing else.

@Crackers Phinn Pat yourself on the back for that. I'm sure having you in her ear helped to prevent it.

Now you gotta get her to leave her mama and live on her own. Keep working on her and get her ready for the next matchmaking session. I do think that you should try it again, give her another chance.

Tell her to keep her mama out of her own finances and her next SO's finances too. Mama should never get a whiff of the his true finances (especially if he has a high income potential) and stay out of their business period.

ETA: Could you set her up with a mentor? An older black lady who can teach her some things? She probably needs to hear them from someone outside of the family.
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She can't afford to live on her own. Her employment speed is retail or repetitive task jobs. The only way she's going to get out of her mothers house is if she moves in with someone who has the bills covered.


Because my brother spread his seed like a damn sprinkler I didn't meet my two nieces by this woman until they were about 16. Their family dynamic is that if you don't know somebody out the womb then they you try to get whatever you can out of them which means anybody who has tried to mentor these girls has had to go through the hazing of them trying to get something out of them. I squashed that real quick and as a result one niece f's with me and the other doesn't.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
She can't afford to live on her own. Her employment speed is retail or repetitive task jobs. The only way she's going to get out of her mothers house is if she moves in with someone who has the bills covered.


Because my brother spread his seed like a damn sprinkler I didn't meet my two nieces by this woman until they were about 16. Their family dynamic is that if you don't know somebody out the womb then they you try to get whatever you can out of them which means anybody who has tried to mentor these girls has had to go through the hazing of them trying to get something out of them. I squashed that real quick and as a result one niece f's with me and the other doesn't.
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Would she live with roommates? I started to suggest that, if she can't afford her own place.

Man do you know anyone who had a similar situation but made it? Maybe from the same neighborhood? Perhaps she'd listen to them sigh.

I say keep trying to help her. If not matchmaking, then helping her with life skills, etc. I still think she deserves another time or two for matchmaking if you're up to it.

Is additional schooling an option? I'm thinking vocational training for a tech position then go from there if possible.

I want her to win!
 
KimPossibli said:
can you come be my Aunty...

cause really you were on point... its the shiesty mama -in-law to be that was the issue
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Are you talking about the niece's mother? Because the boys mother was the true MVP.

No offense OP, but I wouldn't touch your niece with a ten foot pole. According to your description, she's pretty but stupid, no real plans for the future, with a ratchet mother of loose morals? She needs to work on herself and leave men of quality to women who can appreciate them.
 
Chrismiss said:
Your niece doesn't sound ready for a man of that caliber, fr fr. She needs some more time in the incubator. If she can look at her mama's situation and choices and still have the mindset of "I'm not choosing him over my mother" then she has a long way to go.
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Men of that caliber marry dumb women who look good all the time. She's 25, the clock is ticking on the only thing she has to offer so more incubator time isn't an option. Not that i think it will do much good anyway.
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Her preference is for a man her own age but I think her best bet will be an older man mid to late 30's who will nip her mother in the bud up front. I was trying to avoid that because UnPC reasons.
 
I have 3 nieces like this...notice I've never mentioned them. We just met them 3ish yrs ago, I had no idea dh had a sister or nieces and neither did he. They are unapologetically ratchet...literally the family's worst nightmare. I feed them with the longest handled spoon I can find. They have never been to our house and if I can help it they never will. Maybe I'd feel different if they were my blood but I doubt it. I'd rather invest my time and resources in those who are ready to receive it because the OP is pretty much how I imagined it going if I tried to help.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Men of that caliber marry dumb women who look good all the time. She's 25, the clock is ticking on the only thing she has to offer so more incubator time isn't an option. Not that i think it will do much good anyway.
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Her preference is for a man her own age but I think her best bet will be an older man mid to late 30's who will nip her mother in the bud up front. I was trying to avoid that because UnPC reasons.
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If you aren't going to give up this plan B is a good idea. Hats off to you because I couldnt do it..
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Men of that caliber marry dumb women who look good all the time. She's 25, the clock is ticking on the only thing she has to offer so more incubator time isn't an option. Not that i think it will do much good anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her preference is for a man her own age but I think her best bet will be an older man mid to late 30's who will nip her mother in the bud up front. I was trying to avoid that because UnPC reasons.
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Maybe take the Un-PC approach with her. Since she comes from savages you may have to get in her ear in that way to get her some "understanding". Nothing beats a fail but a try.
 
IslandMummy said:
He's going to be an actuary and mama :censored: around? :handslap:

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I always regret not pursuing actuary science. Dude is going to be making $$$$
 
After reading this whole thread I'm shocked the niece doesn't have a baby or two by now. Her whole situation is a perfect breeding ground for an oow pregnancy. I wouldn't give up on her just yet since she seems to want more for herself than a baby mama situation. But her mom is a major obstacle and I have no idea how to overcome it.
 
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