Common Games Men Play

[PrissiSippi]

I didn’t know ANY of this when I first started dating. I’m JUST learning it now. Maybe it could help someone. Can y’all add to the list?

Common Games Emotionally Unavailable Men Play

1. They say they want to married. (Don’t believe their words. Only believe their actions.) But they don’t make any actions towards marriage with you. They don’t try to increase their income to provide for you or secure a home or push the relationship timeline.
2. They act like you’re crazy. They play aloof. If they didn’t talk to you all day if you bring it up they say you’re insecure or you’re crazy. They don’t take blame. (Gaslighting)
3. They try to change your appearance under the guise of they like natural girls. (Don’t listen to their words. Only look at their actions. Do they like instagirls pictures? Do they eye rape women with makeup, tight clothes, and etc? Did they meet you with makeup? If so, stay like that and always level up.)
4. They neg you. (Example: Yeah you can’t cook THAT good. Yeah your box isn’t special. He compliments other women but never you. He told me I couldn’t cook THAT good. This is to lower your self-esteem so you operate from a scarcity mindset and take his crap under the guise of you can’t get anyone else.
5. He makes you chase him. (He doesn’t respond to messages.)
6. Plays victim.
7. Says he doesn’t like commitment but committed to other stuff in life. He doesn’t like Titles but wants titles at work. (He just doesn’t want a title with YOU.)
8. Try to get you to plan dates.
9. He will say I don't date and then name one of your characteristics. Example: I don’t date Tonga women. or Yeah....I usually don't date women from the South they are too country. It turns the tables and it makes you want to prove yourself....to PROVE you're not like the rest.
10. They neg you by telling you they like the opposite of whatever you are. Him: I like white women, they are More submissive You: Can you actually find white women? They like rich guys…
11. Calls you girlfriend before investing in you to have sex. It doesn’t matter if HE calls you his gf. Make him invest. He doesn’t get gf privledge until then.
12. Wolf tickets - he said je’s Buy me a Mother’s Day present because I deserve it. He says he’s going to take you out you this week...doesn’t do it. He plans out dates real far out in advance and then tries to have sex with you NOW. (This goes with 15. If you get fooled by this, you will emotionally invest in them and or have sex with them early by getting comfortable. By the time you figure out they're not sincere with their offers....you can't go back without them feeling like you're controlling them through sex...beware)
13. Lowering your self esteem - You say you go to the gym, he grabs your forearm and says “really I can’t tell.” He calls you fat. This is to lower your self worth.
14. Asks for sex early. BUT When you ask for money he says it’s too early. OR he says he likes to take things slow but then tries to be FAST as it relates to sex because 'both of yall are grown"
15. He says he won’t leave if y’all have sex. He’s trying to push you to have sex with him early in the relationship without him investing. Once y’all have sex he EXPECTS it to continue. If you try to go back on your actions and stop having sex until you get a commitment he will feel like you are controlling him. He will most likely stop talking to you if this occurs. This is why it's most important to HOLD OUT until you at least get a TITLE and actions to go along with it.
16. This is when a guy makes you feel bad about not giving him what he wants. Turn things around to make u question yourself. Him: I was talking to my therapist and said people are crazy to. You: Yeah they are crazy and they need to re-evaluate why they would stay with a person that disrupts their peace and makes them Unsafe.
17. Ignore you so you’re hot and bothered
18. They go hot and cold. They show you a lot of attention and then ghost you. Then they come back strong. This is to get them to chase you.
19. He sends YOU his number so YOU can call HIM instead of HIM chasing you. He complains that you only talk to him when HE contacts YOU. (Darn right because you're the prize)

Any more ladies?

 

[hopeful]

19. Something in their energy is off. They say and do the right things but you still don’t feel loved or safe. They are just going through the motions, pretending, acting like they care. Trust your gut. You deserve real love, not pretend love.

20. You never really feel close to them. That’s because there is a difference between intensity and intimacy. Men go overboard with intensity (love bombing, etc.) to make up for their lack of true feelings and the ability to be intimate with another human being.

21. Too sexual versus affectionate.

22. Always soooo busy. Uses work, charity work, etc. etc. as an excuse to not be physically available.

23. Emotional unavailability is a major and bright red flag. RUN!

 

[hunnychile]

"I don't date Tonga women"? As in Tongan women from the archipelago in the South Pacific Ocean? That is oddly specific.

 

[PrissiSippi]

"I don't date Tonga women"? As in Tongan women from the archipelago in the South Pacific Ocean? That is oddly specific.

Lol my friend is from the Tonga tribe in Africa. This guy researched her. Pursued her. They live in different states so he had to travel. Took her out on a date. On the date he told her he doesn’t date Tonga women. Well why did you take me out then? I think he wanted her to PROVE herself to him. No thanks.

 

[awhyley]

20. You never really feel close to them. That’s because there is a difference between intensity and intimacy. Men go overboard with intensity (love bombing, etc.) to make up for their lack of true feelings and the ability to be intimate with another human being.

That is quite the statement. Girls out here feeling 'loved up' when guys are going through the motions rather than really showing that they care. I'm wondering whether the emotionally unavailable man realizes that this is an impediment. Do you have more information on this "love bombing"? Also, have you read any books from fmr emotionally unavailable men? I'm curious to hear from a reformed one.

 

[Saludable84]

19. Something in their energy is off. They say and do the right things but you still don’t feel loved or safe. They are just going through the motions, pretending, acting like they care. Trust your gut. You deserve real love, not pretend love.

20. You never really feel close to them. That’s because there is a difference between intensity and intimacy. Men go overboard with intensity (love bombing, etc.) to make up for their lack of true feelings and the ability to be intimate with another human being.

23. Emotional unavailability is a major and bright red flag. RUN!

I think the first two lead to the conclusion of the last one. And it’s important to see these things for what they are, because this is how you get caught up with a man who’s just with you for convenience, but you don’t realize it until too late. And it’s not hard if you really look, but some get caught up with having something versus nothing, the blinders are forever on.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I don't believe real men play games but I will bite

1. Display their love for everyone else to see: When I had my college ex I couldn't see it. I was grateful to have a guy always buying me expensive stuff that I didn't even know existed before I met him. It felt good for everyone to tell me how good of a man I had and how he adored me. Then I realized the truth. Most of what he did for me was advertisement. I believe he started out doing kind genuine things for me to make me smile in the beginning but when he saw the way that people universally responded to the way he treated me and what he did for me he became fixated on that. I would never privately enjoy an endearing moment or sentimental gift. It had to be a grand gesture for people to notice even if it made me uncomfortable or I accepted something I hated just because it was expensive.
2. Unwilling to inconvenience themselves or make sacrifices for you: When you are in a committed relationship a real man wants to do what is necessary to meet your needs. If they only offer you what costs them nothing run! If you are always the one filling in the blanks to push things along run! You cannot count on them in a crisis you won't even be able to count on them when life makes them uncomfortable. This is a man who is only with you because it's beneficial and convenient for them.
3. Accusatory men: Watch out for men who want to accuse you instead of offer to help you even when you are wrong. A man who will just ask you for what they need instead of tell you your failings is better. I am not saying they shouldn't be honest with you he should be real with you when you are wrong. However if he always attacks you as a person instead of addressing problem being exhibited or the goal he is trying to achieve that is a red flag.
4. Abandonment: He should never leverage meeting your needs to manipulate you. You should never be in fear of him leaving you when you are human and make mistakes that aren't malicious and do not betray the relationship.
5. He does his own work: Be supportive. Be encouraging. Work as a team but never let him make you feel like you are accountable for his shortcomings. Those are on him even if you help him rise above them.
6. Just playing: It not acceptable for a man to even joke about being disrespectful towards you. Pay attention to what is said during laughter. Notice what he finds amusing and if it's BS call it out and follow through with action to address it.
7. Vulnerability: Have the freedom to make mistakes and grow from your past. If they are critical about BS that doesn't negatively impact what you and he are building right now and for you future and if he nitpicks foolishness that can't compete with your goals and your goodness don't let him use that as a weapon against you.
8. The "I don't know game": If he is unsure when he wants to get married "okay then you don't want to get married, until proven otherwise". If he is unsure if he wants to be in a relationship "that's cool the you most definitely don't want a relationship with me, because men who pull me are intentional". If he has doubts about anything that is important...never feel in the blanks of what you want to hear. Accept the proof.
9. If all he is is sorry: That ain't enough. A man shows you better than he tells you period.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I don't believe real men play games but I will bite

1. The "I don't know game": If he is unsure when he wants to get married "okay then you don't want to get married, until proven otherwise". If he is unsure if he wants to be in a relationship "that's cool the you most definitely don't want a relationship with me, because men who pull me are intentional". If he has doubts about anything that is important...never feel in the blanks of what you want to hear. Accept the proof.
2. If all he is is sorry: That ain't enough. A man shows you better than he tells you period.

This reminded me of a Instagram meme I saw: Until his actions tell you otherwise, he is the homie.


And as it relates to always being sorry, yees because if he really loved you he wouldn't push your boundaries like this.

 

[hopeful]

That is quite the statement. Girls out here feeling 'loved up' when guys are going through the motions rather than really showing that they care. I'm wondering whether the emotionally unavailable man realizes that this is an impediment. Do you have more information on this "love bombing"? Also, have you read any books from fmr emotionally unavailable men? I'm curious to hear from a reformed one.

Love Bombing
There is a lot of info on love bombing all over the internet. But basically early on he is sooo in love (but doesn’t even really know you yet), never met anyone like you before, wants to spend every waking moment with you, moves really fast, etc., etc. The woman will generally feel overwhelmed but also flattered at the same time. It’s intoxicating. Like a drug. And it’s not sustainable.

Most of the time this is happening because he’s trying to sweep the woman off her feet so that he can sleep with her. Or he is very needy. Either way he usually then will pull away after he’s gotten what he wanted but now his “love interest” is hooked and wants things to go back to how they used to be but it never does, or it does, but intermittently. Hence the hot and cold behavior.

If he’s needy then he may keep laying it on thick but he will start to smother his love interest, take up too much of her time, and maybe even become controlling. Either way love bombing is a weapon and women need to be aware of this.

Emotional Unavailability
No I haven’t heard or read anything about a reformed emotionally unavailable man. I think this is because he is this way because he is hiding something. Other women, some type of addiction, a terrible secret etc. I think these are some of the most dangerous men because a kind, patient, intelligent woman may stick around way longer than she should, digging and digging, trying to figure out what’s up. It may seem like that is his only issue and the woman again gets hooked, thinking he will eventually open up, share his heart, etc. when there is actually no more depth or emotional connection to come. Emotionally unavailable men may also come across as more serious, mature, or mysterious, which can pique a woman’s interest. It may take her years to figure out what the mystery is. By then she has over invested and is heartbroken.

I think it’s important that women know that some men play games and run game on women. Keep both of your feet on the ground and be a solid woman who is not easily manipulated. If you slow down, pay attention, and trust your intuition, I think most women will be ok.

What’s funny too is how soo many men play the same games. You hear the same stories from women again and again.

Another game I have been hearing is that men very early on say that physical chemistry is very important to them, and they need to know that’s there before they can go further. And some women actually fall for this . It’s like they are dangling a carrot in front of the woman. Like if he can have good physical chemistry with you (have sex with you) then he will really show up for you, date you, take you out, etc. etc. In other words he wants his needs to be met FIRST before investing in a relationship. Kind of like getting the woman to audition or prove herself worthy of his time.

 

[Sosoothing]

Lol my friend is from the Tonga tribe in Africa. This guy researched her. Pursued her. They live in different states so he had to travel. Took her out on a date. On the date he told her he doesn’t date Tonga women. Well why did you take me out then? I think he wanted her to PROVE herself to him. No thanks.

Interesting. I'm half Tonga. My dad is Tonga.

 

[Sosoothing]

"I don't date Tonga women"? As in Tongan women from the archipelago in the South Pacific Ocean? That is oddly specific.

I know, right? Lol
I'm Tonga so I was reading this like...
Anyway, that man is simply dim.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

I needed somewhere to post this, because it rings true!

 

[PrissiSippi]

Interesting. I'm half Tonga. My dad is Tonga.

That's so cool! It made me soooo mad. My friend is a really good girl and she hasn't dated much....this completely through her off. After she said something about this he said something about he doesn't really date skinny girls either. She's a size 0. So I really think he was really trying to cut her down to size.

 

[hopeful]

That's so cool! It made me soooo mad. My friend is a really good girl and she hasn't dated much....this completely through her off. After she said something about this he said something about he doesn't really date skinny girls either. She's a size 0. So I really think he was really trying to cut her down to size.

I’m glad she had you to share this with so you could hip her to what he was doing.

 

[Reinventing21]

THIS

1. They act like you’re crazy. They play aloof. If they didn’t talk to you all day if you bring it up they say you’re insecure or you’re crazy. They don’t take blame. (Gaslighting)
2. 1. Just playing: It not acceptable for a man to even joke about being disrespectful towards you. Pay attention to what is said during laughter. Notice what he finds amusing and if it's BS call it out and follow through with action to address it.

AND THIS
19. Something in their energy is off. They say and do the right things but you still don’t feel loved or safe. They are just going through the motions, pretending, acting like they care. Trust your gut. You deserve real love, not pretend love.

20. You never really feel close to them. That’s because there is a difference between intensity and intimacy. Men go overboard with intensity (love bombing, etc.) to make up for their lack of true feelings and the ability to be intimate with another human being.


Display their love for everyone else to see: When I had my college ex I couldn't see it. I was grateful to have a guy always buying me expensive stuff that I didn't even know existed before I met him. It felt good for everyone to tell me how good of a man I had and how he adored me. Then I realized the truth. Most of what he did for me was advertisement.


^^^Classic examples (from Prissippi & Hopeful) of beginning abusive behavior that are dangerously easily to overlook if one doesn't know what is happening.

 

[Poohbear]

5. He makes you chase him. (He doesn’t respond to messages.)

I just got through dealing with #5. Never chased a man in my life and decided to give it a try after this guy suggested it and since I decided to be open to dating again after two years of being broken up with a long term boyfriend...never again will I put myself through this game. Good thing it didn't last long, just a couple of months.

He approached me back in December and set up a date immediately, the following day after meeting me before I went out of town for Christmas break. This made me think he was spontaneous...boy was I wrong. I thought we hit it off great that first date which lasted about 3 hours. He texted me the next day, but after that when I was out of town for Christmas, he went ghost pretty much. I texted him on Christmas and he did text back Merry Christmas. But nothing initially from him after that. This whole time I was thinking he just was not that into me. So a few friends and family suggested I reached out to him on New Year's Day. We said Happy New Year to each other, and I suggested we meet at a restaurant one evening since I'll be back in town, and he said let's do it.

But when that time came, he mentioned the rainy weather as an excuse. Get this... the first date we had, it was a rainy night! So I decided to call him for the first time that evening to ask him if he just wasn't interested anymore, and he said with excitement that he was definitely still interested in me and that we can start where we left off from that first date. Maybe about a week or two later, we talked about the subject of dating and he said I need to get out of the old way of thinking (where the man initiates dates and calls) or I'll end up being alone. He said something along the lines of the woman needs to pursue the man. So I would attempt to make a few suggestions about dates to meetup, see each other, go out to eat, etc. through text message, and he would either have an excuse why he can't do it or no response at all!

However, I was able to see him during lunch a few times that were unplanned since we worked in the same area. Also, we only been to each others' places once surprisingly. He also would randomly text, "Good morning!" and when I would respond with "good morning" back and maybe a "how are you" or "how's your day", most of the time, he would not respond back!

But anyway, when he ignored my texts, I had to pretend like it didn't bother me. I would even try to follow-up with a phone call, and he surprisingly would actually answer most of the phone calls, but would talk about everything else other than seeing me. So last week, I texted him basically saying this is not working for me and I cannot do this anymore. and that if he was really interested in me, he would need to put in effort. His response...no response, which was not surprising, Lol!

This is the first time I ever dated someone from Atlanta, even though he said he's not originally from here. This has discouraged me even more from dating period.

 

[Saludable84]

@Poohbear he was playing games from the jump to see how far he could get. You don’t need to do this with any man. If he isn’t interested, move on.

 

[gn1g]

good thread. love bombing happens all too often, how can you counter this?

 

[Damaris.Elle]

good thread. love bombing happens all too often, how can you counter this?

I think the best way would probably be just being aware of the signs that you're being love bombed and once you're aware it's happening, maintaining your boundaries. For example, not seeing him/being available every time he wants to see you, having your own life and other fun activities planned, having other people in your rotation, sleeping with him only when YOU feel comfortable.

 

[PrissiSippi]

good thread. love bombing happens all too often, how can you counter this?

I think pacing the relationship and having strong boundaries prevents love bombing. When I got love bombed this guy I didn’t know wanted me to meet his mama, kid, wanted me to go on an out of state trip, scheldule 3 dates a week. In hindsight I wish I would have paved our relationship. I should have told him I have plans and allow him to date me only once a week and no out of state trips so early.

 

[shortycocoa]

good thread. love bombing happens all too often, how can you counter this?

@PrissiSippi and @Damaris.Elle had great perspectives on this, and I will also add something. I think that it's easy to counter it or not be affected by it when you are in a different place in your life emotionally and as it pertains to dating than he is. For example, not looking for anything serious or just casually dating, vs. wanting to date with a serious, committed relationship or marriage being the end game.

When you don't want anything serious and just want to have fun, those things are least likely to phase you as they would if you wanted a commitment or were looking for a husband.

An example I can contribute here from personal experiences is that after my divorce, I certainly wasn't looking for anything serious. But I kept encountering several men who were like "oh, you're so great, I love you, I want to show you where I grew up, blah, blah, blah" and I wasn't really interested in any of those things because real talk, I was on a chop-a-thon. And I told them as much, but they kept pushing.

Conversely, right around the time I met my sons' father, I totally got roped in and fell for a lot of the love bombing when in retrospect, I totally shouldn't have. It definitely is a form of manipulation. I have said it before, but once I read and learned (probably from a thread here or somewhere else on the internet) that desperate people are easily manipulated, that helped to put a lot of things into perspective.


@hopeful also spoke a word regarding love bombing, and I will also add on to that that guys usually do that to also see what they can get out of you or to use you. It doesn't necessarily have to be for sex, it can be for other things like favors that seem harmless to you, but they actually may have ulterior motives for asking for the favors. Also, if you were to need the same "favor" they do not oblige. Or if they do, it comes with stipulations and it's just different from how you handled the situation when the shoe was on the other foot.

The example I can share here is my ex would also ask to "see my phone" all the time because his phone "wasn't acting right" (there was probably nothing wrong with his phone) and I would just give it to him. Well, he would be looking all through my phone to see if there was evidence that I was talking to or seeing other people (he didn't even have to do that because I told him the situation up front when he met me, but that's a story for another time ) he would look at my banking apps, emails, etc. and then use that info to his advantage later on or use it to manipulate me.

But if I ever asked to use his phone it was always so many questions as to why, and if he did let me use it he would watch me like a hawk or be standing over me or near by the entire time and then as soon as I finished a call he would be like (nervously) "are you done?" So that told me a lot and taught me a lot.

Now I have learned that my phone needs to be set up like Fort Knox and nobody should have access to it but me or people I actually trust not to be all in my business and violate said trust.

So there's a main passcode you have to enter and then I use app locker to lock apps that I wouldn't want anyone to have access to. And even that is a different passcode other than the main one, and I have it set up to scramble the keyboard everytime.

My ex-husband had a big problem with me being so private in this regard, but #sorrynotsorry. I think that situation was why I dropped the ball with my sons' father but not anymore.

 

[hopeful]

good thread. love bombing happens all too often, how can you counter this?

I think love bombing works if you are too hungry and too thirsty for love and attention. And this hunger can often be subconscious where you think you love and care for yourself but deep down don’t feel lovable or beautiful or deserving.

This video explains what happens psychologically when someone is being love bombed. He says that the person essentially falls “asleep to their own intuition and gut knowing.” The video is only about 10 minutes and whether you believe you are an empath or not it is worth watching.

 

[shortycocoa]

I think love bombing works if you are too hungry and too thirsty for love and attention. And this hunger can often be subconscious where you think you love and care for yourself but deep down don’t feel lovable or beautiful or deserving.

This video explains what happens psychologically when someone is being love bombed. He says that the person essentially falls “asleep to their own intuition and gut knowing.” The video is only about 10 minutes and whether you believe you are an empath or not it is worth watching.

I will definitely have to watch this video later. At the bolded, that's exactly what I was getting at when I said I learned that desperate people are easily manipulated. You explained it better, though, in terms of the tangibles that people can actually be desperate for.

 

[Saludable84]

Love Bombing
There is a lot of info on love bombing all over the internet. But basically early on he is sooo in love (but doesn’t even really know you yet), never met anyone like you before, wants to spend every waking moment with you, moves really fast, etc., etc. The woman will generally feel overwhelmed but also flattered at the same time. It’s intoxicating. Like a drug. And it’s not sustainable.

Most of the time this is happening because he’s trying to sweep the woman off her feet so that he can sleep with her. Or he is very needy. Either way he usually then will pull away after he’s gotten what he wanted but now his “love interest” is hooked and wants things to go back to how they used to be but it never does, or it does, but intermittently. Hence the hot and cold behavior.

If he’s needy then he may keep laying it on thick but he will start to smother his love interest, take up too much of her time, and maybe even become controlling. Either way love bombing is a weapon and women need to be aware of this.

Emotional Unavailability
No I haven’t heard or read anything about a reformed emotionally unavailable man. I think this is because he is this way because he is hiding something. Other women, some type of addiction, a terrible secret etc. I think these are some of the most dangerous men because a kind, patient, intelligent woman may stick around way longer than she should, digging and digging, trying to figure out what’s up. It may seem like that is his only issue and the woman again gets hooked, thinking he will eventually open up, share his heart, etc. when there is actually no more depth or emotional connection to come. Emotionally unavailable men may also come across as more serious, mature, or mysterious, which can pique a woman’s interest. It may take her years to figure out what the mystery is. By then she has over invested and is heartbroken.

I think it’s important that women know that some men play games and run game on women. Keep both of your feet on the ground and be a solid woman who is not easily manipulated. If you slow down, pay attention, and trust your intuition, I think most women will be ok.

What’s funny too is how soo many men play the same games. You here the same stories from women again and again.

Another game I have been hearing is that men very early on say that physical chemistry is very important to them, and they need to know that’s there before they can go further. And some women actually fall for this . It’s like they are dangling a carrot in front of the woman. Like if he can have good physical chemistry with you (have sex with you) then he will really show up for you, date you, take you out, etc. etc. In other words he wants his needs to be met FIRST before investing in a relationship. Kind of like getting the woman to audition or prove herself worthy of his time.

These are really good explanations of love bombing and EUM. Its kind of hard to distinguish both because they go hand in hand, but at some point, you have to see to see how a man is really responding to you. If he is outright trying to make you happy without you having to tell him, he may just seem hot and cold depending on you. For example, if you feel/act/seem a certain way, you will initiate that energy with the guy. So if he seems hot or cold, it may be you. But if you are doing what you need to do and not applying pressure, hes just being a donkey, he gotta go.

 

[CurliDiva]

1. He has a female friend who acts funny around you - because they're really f-buddies.
2. Will have an EX that he tries to pit you against. There should never be a competition or comparison.
3. If he described his EX or women in general with bad words, this is your future.
4. Wants you to prove you are wife material (free maid to cook , clean, laundry, plus sex up) but want to keep his options open!
5. He is not independent - ex. still
living at home with his mom, not working full time, bad credit, ask you to co-sign a loan, no car, or tries borrow money
6. He has multiple kids by several women but never been married.
7. Views a pregnancy as the woman's problem. Never discuss birth control Or does not have/buy condoms.
8. Claimed to not pay child support because he doesn't want the mother to benefit. Thinks child support should be for fun stuff like toys versus shelter, food, diapers, school supplies, etc.......

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

@PrissiSippi

What did you mean by this part (What he told the therapist? Who was he talking about?) "

1. This is when a guy makes you feel bad about not giving him what he wants. Turn things around to make u question yourself. Him: I was talking to my therapist and said people are crazy to. You: Yeah they are crazy and they need to re-evaluate why they would stay with a person that disrupts their peace and makes them Unsafe."

 

[Browndilocks]

I was love bombed by my ex and I went against my own instincts because I was too busy listening to my friends. They actually meant well for me too. My gut was telling me no but my friends were screaming YES. "girl his career is this, girl he owns that, girl you're about to be this and that..."

Even if you cannot articulate why, if it doesn't feel right, just trust yourself more and follow your gut.

 

[hopeful]

I was love bombed by my ex and I went against my own instincts because I was too busy listening to my friends. They actually meant well for me too. My gut was telling me no but my friends were screaming YES. "girl his career is this, girl he owns that, girl you're about to be this and that..."

Even if you cannot articulate why, if it doesn't feel right, just trust yourself more and follow your gut.

I think sometimes people want to live through us vicariously. And/or want to be able to brag about the life you are living to their friends. Plus they just get the well-crafted public glimpses of the guy. I agree with you re “trust yourself more and follow your gut.”

 

[doriannc]

What makes a man play all these games with one chick and then marry the next? Is it because one allows games and the other doesn’t?

 

[Lylddlebit]

What makes a man play all these games with one chick and then marry the next? Is it because one allows games and the other doesn’t?

Sometimes it is but that's not necessarily a good thing. A real man's integrity is from within. It's personal growth that will last. No woman needs to police a man who is prone to doing what he is allowed to get away with. There has to be some character in there that causes him to have honor as a man so that when you as his woman let your guard down, he still does what he is supposed to do. A lot of things can cause a man to not play games with any woman or mature and stop playing games he used to play.