Case Closed: He just wasn't that Into Me!

[Imani]

Well, ladies, I just concluded another textbook open and shut case of he just wasn't that into me. And here I was thinking I was crazy or something.

It was the usual scenario. We met, he went out of his way to spend time w/me, take me out, etc. Talked about how much he really liked me, blah blah. Fast foward 3 months, all of a sudden he's ghost, coming at me crazy with random off color/borderline disrepsectful comments, and when i ask him about it, he makes it seem like I'M the one with the problem. He insists he does like me, and makes excuses for all his changes in behavior. And acts like I'm making up all these "changes" in my head. Tossed me the I'm busy/work alot line. Whatever. Even hit me with the "I'm just real careful/defensive bc I've been hurt in the past and i'm just such a nice guy and people take advantage of me". (Note: stay away from the "self proclaimed" nice guys)

But with me being on the forum and knowing what i know, I starting thinking to myself, Imani, he is obvioulsy not feeling you, PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM. And also form this forum, I recalled reading that guys will string females along even when they don't like you because they just like having options.

So, since he wouldn't admit it, I finally let him go in December after a total of 6 months. And actually, i realize I "wasn't that into him, either!". Just thought he was fine and a "good on paper" dude.

So come to find out...out of "nowhere" he has a girlfriend that he's been with since December (supposedly, i suspect it was before then). Yeah, December, same month we stopped talking.

If he wanted her, why couldn't he just tell me that from jump instead of draggin it out and making excuses/lying?? (Its a rhetorical question. I don't really expect an answer. guys are just stupid)

Anyway, just wanted to thank the ladies on the forum for all their advice and posts.

I'm taking a break. And working on my career/finances this year Have already paid off 2 credit cards so far in 09!!

 

[MixedBerry]

Well, ladies, I just concluded another textbook open and shut case of he just wasn't that into me. And here I was thinking I was crazy or something.

It was the usual scenario. We met, he went out of his way to spend time w/me, take me out, etc. Talked about how much he really liked me, blah blah. Fast foward 3 months, all of a sudden he's ghost, coming at me crazy with random off color/borderline disrepsectful comments, and when i ask him about it, he makes it seem like I'M the one with the problem. He insists he does like me, and makes excuses for all his changes in behavior. And acts like I'm making up all these "changes" in my head. Tossed me the I'm busy/work alot line. Whatever. Even hit me with the "I'm just real careful/defensive bc I've been hurt in the past and i'm just such a nice guy and people take advantage of me". (Note: stay away from the "self proclaimed" nice guys)

But with me being on the forum and knowing what i know, I starting thinking to myself, Imani, he is obvioulsy not feeling you, PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM. And also form this forum, I recalled reading that guys will string females along even when they don't like you because they just like having options.

So, since he wouldn't admit it, I finally let him go in December after a total of 6 months. And actually, i realize I "wasn't that into him, either!". Just thought he was fine and a "good on paper" dude.

So come to find out...out of "nowhere" he has a girlfriend that he's been with since December (supposedly, i suspect it was before then). Yeah, December, same month we stopped talking.

If he wanted her, why couldn't he just tell me that from jump instead of draggin it out and making excuses/lying?? (Its a rhetorical question. I don't really expect an answer. guys are just stupid)

Anyway, just wanted to thank the ladies on the forum for all their advice and posts.

I'm taking a break. And working on my career/finances this year Have already paid off 2 credit cards so far in 09!!

I'm feeling so lazy tonight. All I read was the bolded...

Congrats on paying off the credit cards!!!

 

[Sosoothing]

At least you closed the case before you wasted too much time. Good for you for wanting to focus on other things this year. Sometimes the right person will come along when you least expect it and are focused on other things. Good luck

 

[Imani]

I'm feeling so lazy tonight. All I read was the bolded...

Congrats on paying off the credit cards!!!

LOL! yeah, I'm a little long winded. thanks. I'm going HARD on my finances this year.

 

[MixedBerry]

wow, that must be an AMAZING feeling. Seriously, congrats to you!

 

[FluffyRed]

PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM. And also form this forum, I recalled reading that guys will string females along even when they don't like you because they just like having options.

Sorry you had to deal with his crap, for even six months!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

I applaud you for this!!! *Clappin like da Clumps*

I'm also glad that you a) didn't catch feelings or fell too deep with this guy, b) you didn't have the drama of this current girl calling you with bs, etc and c) that you realized that IMANI came first, and decided to do HER.

Excellent move!

However, you know there is a flip side to this coin....they always think it is greener on the other side, and I don't care how much time goes by, they ALWAYS CALL BACK!!! I don't know why, but they always do.

 

[Mleah]

I am glad you have stopped the pain cycle! I wish they had info like this when I gave a damn about dating and men. Peace,Imani.

 

[Imani]

I applaud you for this!!! *Clappin like da Clumps*

I'm also glad that you a) didn't catch feelings or fell too deep with this guy, b) you didn't have the drama of this current girl calling you with bs, etc and c) that you realized that IMANI came first, and decided to do HER.

Excellent move!

However, you know there is a flip side to this coin....they always think it is greener on the other side, and I don't care how much time goes by, they ALWAYS CALL BACK!!! I don't know why, but they always do.

Girl, he is already randomly texting me, trying to be FRIENDLY. Negro stop. Please!! Called me talking about how i left one of my fave dvds and some shorts at his house. I'm like , "so, and???". I make good money. I can buy another dvd and some $5 express shorts. Keep em. I'm not falling for that ploy!

 

[locabouthair]

Good for you!!
(finances and kicking his butt to the curb)

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Girl, he is already randomly texting me, trying to be FRIENDLY. Negro stop. Please!! Called me talking about how i left one of my fave dvds and some shorts at his house. I'm like , "so, and???". I make good money. I can buy another dvd and some $5 express shorts. Keep em. I'm not falling for that ploy!

uh huh....of course he is...because you are ignoring him and they don't like to be ignored. i wouldn't even respond. even though he is seeing someone else, trust, they always call because they want to continue to have options and keep their foot in the puddi door. while the grass may greener on the other side, dogs always find a way to hop back of the fence....don't fall prey... continue to do YOU.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Congrats... I'm happy you know how to separate the chaff from the grain. Now get on that grind and make that paper!

 

[lux10023]

*applause*

im glad you did the three R's

RECOGNIZED...that he was just not into you and vice versa
REALIZED...you deserve more and are worth more!!!
REFOCUSED...your energy, time and effort into you and your journey!!!

 

[Ms_Delikate]

*applause*

im glad you did the three R's

RECOGNIZED...that he was just not into you and vice versa
REALIZED...you deserve more and are worth more!!!
REFOCUSED...your energy, time and effort into you and your journey!!!

I love this post^^^^^^^....Good for you OP

 

[MizAvalon]

uh huh....of course he is...because you are ignoring him and they don't like to be ignored. i wouldn't even respond. even though he is seeing someone else, trust, they always call because they want to continue to have options and keep their foot in the puddi door. while the grass may greener on the other side, dogs always find a way to hop back of the fence....don't fall prey... continue to do YOU.

Exactly.

Good for you for kicking him to the curb sweetie.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

YAY! I'm glad you saw the signs and got out of it! Get yourself a REAL man.

 

[chokolate miss]

But with me being on the forum and knowing what i know, I starting thinking to myself, Imani, he is obvioulsy not feeling you, PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM. And also form this forum, I recalled reading that guys will string females along even when they don't like you because they just like having options.

ITA with the bolded. I am so happy that you figured it out. You sound like a strong woman. Good for you!!

Women spend so much time trying to make someone want to be with them. I have done it on several occations. It never works out.

This made me so glad reading this...a TRIUMPHANT story for once!

 

[Highly Favored8]

Now that that he is out of your life. You have the smarts and can spot a loser a mile away. From your post your are taking the negative and turning it to the postive.
Also, just focus on doing you. His loss not yours.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Congratulations...smart, smart, smart!

 

[Makenzie]

Good for you! It's a good feeling isn't it?

 

[Imani]

Good for you! It's a good feeling isn't it?

It sure is! I really shoulda let him go about 3 months sooner but better later than never. He was saying/doing a bunch of off the wall stuff one day. And I literally woke up the next morning and told myself, you know what, this is WACK! Why am i stressing out over this dude who doesn't even deserve it and letting him get away with treating me badly? I told him a piece of my mind and that it was over.

 

[Imani]

Now that that he is out of your life. You have the smarts and can spot a loser a mile away. From your post your are taking the negative and turning it to the postive.
Also, just focus on doing you. His loss not yours.

Yes, I will definitely know better next time. As i have posted before, I am 26 and I've never been in a real relationship before. In college (I went straight thru from undergrad to grad school) I never really dated, just partied and focused on making good grades. So all of this dating stuff is brand new to me. I'm learning.

 

[Country gal]

*applause*

im glad you did the three R's

RECOGNIZED...that he was just not into you and vice versa
REALIZED...you deserve more and are worth more!!!
REFOCUSED...your energy, time and effort into you and your journey!!!

I love the 3 rs. Good for you OP for having the fortitude to move on. I just started realizing that it is up to me to have the relationship I want. I have standards that I don't want to negotiate. If a guy can't make time for me than he is not one I want to waste time with anymore.

 

[Kamilah]

cosigning! i had to realize that my ex-fiance was also "not that into me". it hurt like hell for a really long time, but whatever. now, i'm starting a non-profit and applying to start law school in a year. who needs the drama of unrequited love! it's his loss, i'm hot and have too much to offer the man who is able to give me what i need

 

[blue_flower]

That's great! More power to you!

 

[Imani]

cosigning! i had to realize that my ex-fiance was also "not that into me". it hurt like hell for a really long time, but whatever. now, i'm starting a non-profit and applying to start law school in a year. who needs the drama of unrequited love! it's his loss, i'm hot and have too much to offer the man who is able to give me what i need

Good for you Kamilah! I think I remember reading the thread you wrote about him. I'm glad you're making positive moves in your life and able to heal.

 

[caribgirl]

, Congrats!!!!

Imani, be so thankful that you wasted so little time on this fool!
So sorry for his girlfriend, though !