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Assumptions Made Because You're Natural

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I think people assume that because you are natural, your hair should be long. They seem to automatically take how long you have been natural to equal how long you've "been growing" your hair. As though your hair had not been growing if/when you were relaxed and it began its growing once you went natural. And if you've been natural for a long time, the assumption is your hair should be long by now. The same assumption is not made for if you've been relaxed for a long time.
 
Stacy TheLady said:
Person: "So, can I ask you a question?"
Me: **shrugs** Yeah
Person: "What's your hair like under there?"
Me: Under what? :rolleyes:
Person: Your head thingy
Me: "Oh you mean my hijab!"
Person: "Yeah" :blush:
Me: Am natural approaching APL
Person: "So people in your religion can't straighten their hair then?":perplexed
Me: :wallbash:
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen::funny:
 
- There's always the initial assumption that my hair is a weave:ohwell:
- Then it is assumed that my hair is a perm or texturizer:ohwell:
- Next, it's assumed that it takes a long time for me to comb my hair (actually, a comb hasn't touched this head in over 7months).
- Strangers (usually older white folks) assume they can put their hands in my hair without asking.:nono:
- Ignorant men assume that I'm flattered when they hit on me with the line, "damn gurl, what you mixed wit?":nono:
 
dyh080 said:
Yesterday, A muslim selling newspapers looked at me and said " oh I KNOW you read, Queen."
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: .. I could just picture him saying this!!

... dang ... what does he think about all the other women walking around w/ relaxed/weaved hair? ... does he think they're all hooked on phonics?? :lachen: .... and he could just tell you like to read b/c you're natural ... that's like saying you KNOW someone is smart b/c they wear glasses!!! :spinning:

As for me, I haven't heard any assumptions yet .. at least not to my face .. I've been natural 4yrs so I dunno .. I don't have what OTHER people consider "good" hair so I never get asked if I am mixed or told that I have it easy b/c I have "good" hair, etc ...but people usually either compliment me on a style or stare and say nothing at all - I guess they could be thinking some of the other things that have been mentioned in this thread already ( I may have to update this post one day - I hope not!!)

Oh I do sometimes get hailed as an African Princess or Queen when I rock my headwraps ... I don't mind at all b/c it's a nice compliment but it's weird and pretty sad that as a Black woman I have to rock a specific style to get this kind of respect and admiration from some Black men .. can't I be praised as an African Princess or Queen at all times b/c of the way I carry myself - regardless of hairstyle - and why can't my relaxed or weaved sistas get the same respect & admiration :rolleyes:
 
The latest....

What natural products do you use?

So I guess cause I'm natural I have to also use natural products ::kanye shrug::
 
I got the weave check on my TWA.

I was asked if I had a texturizer (you know black folk can't have curly hair if it's not "good" hair :rolleyes:)

Then there are the ones calling me Jill Scott. Yes she's pretty but every chunky chick with natural hair does not equal Jill.
 
Filmatic said:
I got the weave check on my TWA.

I was asked if I had a texturizer (you know black folk can't have curly hair if it's not "good" hair :rolleyes:)

Then there are the ones calling me Jill Scott. Yes she's pretty but every chunky chick with natural hair does not equal Jill.
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That's funny, I had someone tell me the other day that I was perpetrating. When I asked what he meant, he told me he knew I had a "kit" in my hair and I was trying to fake good hair. Why do I have to be perpetrating and why do I have to have a kit just because my hair is naturally curly?

I also had someone approach me on the Jill Scott tip. I went out last weekend and this dude approached me with, "What's up Jill Scott, can I holla at you?"
 
  1. That I'm ultra-intellectual. (I won't say this one is entirely inaccurate. :grin:)

  2. That I love poetry slams and neo-soul open mics. (In actuality, I've only been to one poetry slam and it was kinda wack. Open mics are cool--I certainly prefer them to your run-of-the-mill club scene--but I haven't been to one in ages. No one will go with me, most likely for fear of #1.)

  3. That I hang out at coffeeshops. (What the crap...I don't even drink coffee...! :confused:)

  4. That my "type" of man is a dark-skinned (yes, dark-skinned :ohwell:) musician/poet with locs. (I actually get this the most, despite the fact that I've never dated a guy like this. The closest I've come has been a light-skinned loc'd metrosexual absolutely and utterly unmotivated about anything unrelated to his appearance, cars, and/or his own comfort, much less creating anything meaningful. :wallbash: Not that I'd mind that type of guy though...it's just random is all...)

  5. That I'm (of course) an angry afrocentrist. (*sigh* As far as that's concerned I was equally--if not more--"angry" blond-streaked and texturized...if you aren't I don't know what to tell you...)


  6. That I want to debate about The Issues. (This generally comes from men whose aim is to challenge, once again, #1. I can't be bothered with righteous arguments; this will get you the Brick Wall of Non-Discussion from me. :nono2:)

  7. That I can't possibly be from Memphis. (This is hilarious to me and, again, one I don't necessarily dispute; I've always felt like a transplant...)

  8. That I'm Arab and/or Muslim. (Admittedly, this one is more closely related to my name--I get it a lot in airports--but I once went to a Chinese restaurant with the aforementioned light-skinned loc'd dude, and the waitress was floored that he ordered pork fried rice. She actually said that she thought our "type of people" never ate pork. :huh: When she tried to explain her past experiences with people from our "country," I laughed and said the only foreign "country" I'm from is that of West Tennessee...)

  9. That I'm a walking oxymoron in general. (I've been at open mics (:lol:) where natural poets have spoken against MAC and Western fashion, and I was subsequently met with smug stares. I'm like, "That's all good for her, but I didn't realize makeup and Manolos were against Universal Naturalhead Law...*shrugs*")

My little brother is probably the worst of all despite the fact that he's known me all his life, lol...he lets it be known how much he hates afros and everything he believes goes along with them (i.e. smoky cafes, dark skin, India.Arie, indignant outspokenness, and social consciousness). I do think it's somewhat of a regional thing though. Most of the ignorance I've encountered has (unfortunately) been from people in and/or from my hometown. I imagine other areas are not as homogeneous, and as such people aren't as readily perceived as deviating from some norm.
 
1. "Which one of your parents is white?" When I say neither, they look at me with the shocked face. :huh: One guy asked me which one of my grandparents was white. Once again, I say none of them. Yes, I know, I am lightskinned with curly hair...what can I say?

2. "You got a Bohemian style." :yep: This is very true. I love the style and big curly hair does compliment it.

3. "You must be extra artsy." :artist: Also true! I am a writer, and I'm really crafty.

4. Whispers: "That must be a weave!" When I wear a puff in public, I see women staring at my hair. I think it's hilarious. :lachen:

5. "I mean, you don't know what it's like to REALLY be natural!" :nono2: Because I am not a 4a/b, when it comes to natural hair I don't know WHAT I'm talking about. I read all the threads on here! If I did make any type of suggestion, it would be based on what I saw on here from the 4a/b sistah's!

6. "You probably think you are too good!" :nono: I get this from women AND men. The last dude I dated told me I was the first women he liked who was lightskinned, because all of the ones he dated before thought they were all that. I know the skintone has something to do with it, but the curly hair didn't help.

I saw a lot of you said "Afrocentric." :afro: No one EVER says that to me, and the ironic part about it is that I was highly involved in the Black organizations at my college, not to mention that one of my degrees is in Pan-African Studies. I guess my texture/skintone keeps people from making that assumption about me.
 
nubiennze said:
That I can't possibly be from Memphis. (This is hilarious to me and, again, one I don't necessarily dispute; I've always felt like a transplant...)
Click to expand...

Interesting you say that. My husband is from Memphis and he has 3A/B hair and whenever we meet older Black people who aren't from TN, they always make a comment about how the Black people in TN have "good" hair like maybe it was the result of a migratory pattern or something.
 
That *is* interesting...I've never heard anything like that before. I don't know that I've ever gotten it within the context of the texture of my hair, though (not that my hair would necessarily be considered "good" :rolleyes:)...the first question is usually "Where are you from?" followed by "You must have lived somewhere else for a long time then--you're not like most Memphis chicks." A couple guys--not many, mind you--have come out and said they like girls with hair "like that" or who sport "the afrocentric look." *shrugs* I'll have to ask around about the good hair thing...most natives I know complain about their "n*gga naps" and point to their texture as the reason they could never go natural. :perplexed Even strangers I've encountered have said "Oh, I love that style, but my hair could never do that." My response is always "You'll never know until you try!" with a warm smile, but of course I think it's simply that there isn't enough natural hair around for people to be able to feel their hair is comparatively "good." But I digress...

kmn1980 said:
Interesting you say that. My husband is from Memphis and he has 3A/B hair and whenever we meet older Black people who aren't from TN, they always make a comment about how the Black people in TN have "good" hair like maybe it was the result of a migratory pattern or something.
Click to expand...
 
Am I getting locs?

Dunno if that's an honest question or people trying to be funny. Don't care either way. lol I say no and keep it moving.

but dude... if I was getting locs, wouldn't my hair be... erm.... locked? Dunno what goes through these people's minds.
 
people ask me if i'm a rich daddy's girl (i do live in an expensive area, but...)
assume i'm stuck up and only eat at expensive 'natural/ organic' places and only go to members clubs exclusively (i do go to some but...)
 
1) That I'm a lesbian :blush:

2) I want to lead all my people back to Africa

3) Im Afro centric

4) I spend my days listening to India.Arie while smoking weed, and lighting incense :perplexed

5) When I wear my bantu knot out I must be Jamaican and KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE BEST WEED IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD :huh:

6) On weekends I must go to poetry contests and read my "anti america-the white man tryna keep us down-Fight the power-Poems!

UHM NO TO ALL OF THIS!:nono: I dont do any of this...nor do I know where the good weed is located :ohwell:
 
That I went natural to match my major in college - African American Studies.

Which I guess I can see the correlation but that really had nothing to do with it. People could also assume I'm "black fist" female version of Kwame Ture but the truth is ... I was pro-black when I was relaxed - lol - I didn't change, just the hair.
 
1. I am gonna get on my soapbox every chance I get.
2. I hate white people
3. I only eat natural (I try to but I love me some processed food)
4. I smoke weed
5. I am obsessed about the environment (I recycle but I'm not crazy obsessed)
 
lizelies said:
1. I am gonna get on my soapbox every chance I get.
2. I hate white people
3. I only eat natural (I try to but I love me some processed food)
4. I smoke weed
5. I am obsessed about the environment (I recycle but I'm not crazy obsessed)
Click to expand...

I've gotten the bolded many times. I do not smoke weed. I do not drink. I do not go out to clubs. I've also gone to pick up glowsticks for a project out of the dollar store and I got by a white guy: " I knew you did X (ecstasy) by just looking at your hair, it looks amazing, you look amazing with it. I just wanna touch it." I was like oh dear :nono:.
 
Is it just me or does it seem that its mostly you American folk that get these comments. I'm from Birmingham UK and all I ever get from co-workers black and white is the usual 'Oh your hair is so thick!' or 'Did you get a haircut?' after I wash my hair and it shrinks.

I actually thought and fully expected people around me to make weird comments when I first decided to transition but nope, my sister decided to join me in the transition and a few months later my mum did too! Now I'm fully natural and I've only just started to notice how many naturals there are out there and there are tons of us. It just doesnt turn heads and I'm feeling left out . . . I want silly assumptions too!! :ohwell:
 
Nah, there are inquisitive (and sometimes ignorant) people everywhere.

Just feel lucky that you haven't run into anyone.

A few people have asked if I'm getting locs or if I'm wearing a piece. lol I'm pretty shy and keep to myself. Would prefer not to speak to stangers, so I'm jealous of your luck. :)
 
Neith said:
Am I getting locs?

Dunno if that's an honest question or people trying to be funny. Don't care either way. lol I say no and keep it moving.

but dude... if I was getting locs, wouldn't my hair be... erm.... locked? Dunno what goes through these people's minds.
Click to expand...


That is the first thing people ask me when ever I wear an afro. (I am not natural I just look like it.) I tell them no and then they go on to tell me " That I should and blah blah blah." I then ask them why aren't they getting locs if they think it is great?' and just because I am not bone straight relaxed means I have to get dreads" I don't get it.
 
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