Assumptions Made Because You Have Long Hair

[imaccami]

Stuck up

Unwilling to share some super secret hair balm that "grows" my hair

That I'm lying or leaving out the important part when I tell them my reggie

That I look down on them and their hair

That I have good hair

That I'm lying when I say I do it myself and won't share my stylist's info.

I have an idea that we should get some LHCF business cards and pass them out as we see fit and cut to the chase. Shoot I got some card stock and a printer...I'll just hand em the card with only the website all anonymous like its a secret society. They'll get a kick out of that one!! then they can log on to this secret website and we can reveal the ancient old secret-TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAIR!!!!!!

I've totally thought about that too. I was in an office and the woman's hair was sooo dry, never moved, and looked like it had been weeks since it was washed. I wished there was some way to politely bring up that she doesn't have to look like that. I so wished I could've just slipped a LHCF card on the desk as I was leaving.

 

[Triniwegian]

I don't get assumptions about anything...people don't even comment on my hair.

 

[MsLizziA]

This a good idea man. Maybe we should do this. I wont have to sit there and try to explain nothin..

 

[Kurlee]

ugh!! This is off topic but I know what you mean-You talk all proper and white. I don't talk white although there are broads who DO try to talk a "certain" way if you know what I mean, y'all know that nasally sounding phony voice?? But my family is so country y'all and I am too but see I know when to use complete sentences and speak clearly. I don't wanna be white I wanna graduate so that's why I make good grades...I hate that we discount ourselves as black people especially so casually. Its sad. Its as if we do that to avoid the truth which is we need to be responsible and accountable for ourselves no exception. Throw the excuses out the window and admit you just don't care enough to change....

I have an idea that we should get some LHCF business cards and pass them out as we see fit and cut to the chase. Shoot I got some card stock and a printer...I'll just hand em the card with only the website all anonymous like its a secret society. They'll get a kick out of that one!! then they can log on to this secret website and we can reveal the ancient old secret-TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAIR!!!!!!

girl, u better preach! especially the underlined. People don't care enough to do anything and would rather sit and complain.

 

[Vashti]

The next time I need my hair trimmed I went to Supercuts were I was told by the receptionist that they don't cut or trim weaves.

It would have taken all of my God given self control to not slap the hell out of her for daring to say something like that to me.

 

[Mad Scientist]

ugh!! This is off topic but I know what you mean-You talk all proper and white. I don't talk white although there are broads who DO try to talk a "certain" way if you know what I mean, y'all know that nasally sounding phony voice?? But my family is so country y'all and I am too but see I know when to use complete sentences and speak clearly. I don't wanna be white I wanna graduate so that's why I make good grades...I hate that we discount ourselves as black people especially so casually. Its sad. Its as if we do that to avoid the truth which is we need to be responsible and accountable for ourselves no exception. Throw the excuses out the window and admit you just don't care enough to change....

All of that is so true. I remember when I read the chapter "D's Will Do" from Brainwashed: The Myth of Black Inferiority...it made me almost want to cry, but that's for another thread.

 

[Miss AJ]

The main assumptions that are made when my hair is long are that i CAN'T be all black and i must have "super good hair".

 

[Sianna]

It was really interesting to read all of your responses on this thread. Clearly I don't have long hair, never have and had even given up on the prospect that it could happen for me, but I found myself curious as to what my future held. (I am DETERMINED retain my length and see some BSB hair within the next two years!!)

I can admit that I would have assumed that most black women with long hair would be stuck up, mixed, or had some secret that wouldn't work for me, even if they were gracious enough to share what it was. I also would have assumed that women who had long hair, must have had long hair their entire lives!

Contrarily, I've discovered that women with long hair are not necessarily stuck up at all! I was even reluctant to join this forum because I felt I would be shunned for having short hair, but really, I was welcomed here more warmly than I was on a forum, (won't mention the name) that was exclusively geared toward natural hair! Not that there are bad people there, I just don't get the feeling of warmth, acceptance, and encouragement I feel here! I've also discovered that even type 4 hair, (like mine) can grow long and be healthy!! It has more to do with proper treatment and frequent moisturizing than any secret product.

I thank you all for sharing your stories!

On another note, while I don't classify myself as "light-skinned" I'm not dark either. Once, back in my weave days when I was wearing a long, curly weave, some guy assumed I was Hispanic.

Don't know where he got that from, but I guess that's what I have to look forward to!

Sorry for the long post!

 

[Curly CoCo]

The mixed assumptions are just silly in my opinion, because many African Americans have a lot of different blood in them anyway. So I just wonder why being black equals short hair to people.

 

[Naturallista]

I don't have long hair right now, but I still get some stuff. and I used to get some when I had long hair. Mainly just

1. Do you go to a stylist a lot? Who's your stylist? How much does she charge? What kind of products does she use?
2. Are you Chinese? (I get this a lot regardless, because I have small eyes but they don't look Asian to me.)
3. You must spend a lot of money on your hair.
4. You must think you're White. (WHAT?! yes, I've actually gotten that...from Black people! It's almost as bad as when I used to get told that I think I'm White for making good grades. smh.)

Ha ha ha! I used to get that all the time, too Or "Are you Samoan???"

 

[brg240]

I'm pretty oblivious as things go and I don't get comments about my hair often. Like in the last 2 years I can count on one hand the comments. (not counting family or the internet)
But when I was in hs people thought I was stuck up or thought I was better or something.

 

[Eritreladiee]

I noticed in my younger years when my hair was long AND curly, other black girls assumed that I wouldn't fight. Long curly hair fools people into thinking you're soft, like you need short kinky, relaxed hair to be a scrapper or something.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I noticed in my younger years when my hair was long AND curly, other black girls assumed that I wouldn't fight. Long curly hair fools people into thinking you're soft, like you need short kinky, relaxed hair to be a scrapper or something.

shoot you betta eitha be bald headed or braided up cause folks like to pull ya hair out!

 

[brg240]

I don't get assumptions about anything...people don't even comment on my hair.

I don't either. I feel like I'm missing out kinda.XD

 

[Mdmommy99]

When I had mbl locs, I had lots of White people assume that my hair was braided with extensions. Now, even though my hair is only approaching APL, I find that people do not understand that natural hair can be straight and that my hair curly looks way shorter than when its flat ironed. Every time I wear straight hair people assume that 1) I got a perm or 2) My hair is a weave because it doesn't look nearly as long when its not straight.

 

[Hersheygurl]

Most common assumption.....

That I have a very good weave.

I was told by a lady that goes to my church that I have a weave! I didn't know I had one..... She came up to me one Sunday with a friend to ask me where I got my hair from, because it moved so well, and I kindly told her I got it from healthy hair practices and she looked at me like I just stepped off a spacehip. I reminded her I was in church with no reason to lie and did a thorough finger rake through for her and she still looked doubtful. Her and her friend shrugged and said, well you look like you're not " all black" anyways..??????


It's also assumed I'm stuck up. ( a girl from a mom's group admitted she thought I was before getting to know me because I had long " fake" hair)

It's amazing how some people act like they've seen a unicorn or something when they see a black woman with long or healthy hair of any length.

 

[Jewell]

Well, I have been wearing my hair covered with a wig for the last 6-7 months, so I haven't had any comments on my own natural hair, but many think my wigs are my real hair, lol. I must've perfected this LF wearing for real! In the past, people would assume I was "stuck up" because I wore my hair long. I didn't really get the "Is that a weave?" questions. Also, many men assume I'm of another race due to my hair length (as if they've never EVER seen a black woman with long hair, or hair past SL). Ugh. So tired of these hair stereotypes!

 

[Barbara]

I've been asked a few times if my hair is "real".
Even my boss asked me twice. These questions are all from white people, they seem to think all black people wear fake hair.

I don't care what they think.

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are people suppose to believe?

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. They know we aren't mixed with anything.

Years ago my stylist said: "The majority of African American women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't. That's because they were never taught properly."

Some are just hair obsessed, and they feel that growing hair out to significant lengths is a mystery. Most African American women don't have long hair, and they find it hard to believe if a woman has long hair, then she has to be mixed with something.

My neighbor told me this years before I started using my primary staples to "put the icing on the cake," so to speak: "You think you're cute because you have long hair. I told her that there's no excuse for African American women not to have long hair. There's plenty of hair on sale at the beauty supply store, so I don't care what anyone thinks."

I guess she took my advice. She has a few wigs and long braids sewn into her hair now. She never brought up that topic again. Women like that will never know what products I use. I'll tell them the bad stuff that wasn't good for my hair.

 

[AimWard]

I've received just about every assumption that has been posted so far. But no one ever assumes my hair is long because I know how to take care of it...

 

[Mane Event]

1. You must think you're white. <-- Only from black ppl WTF!

2. You must be some NBA/NFL player's wife <---- WTF

3. People *cough* men --> "I just want to pull on it from the back"" WTF! Why would you assume I want my hair pulled nono:nono:

4. And of course, the mixed thing! from some random island [fill in the blank], or are you cambodian, ethiopian, puerto rican, etc
"Well if both of yo' parents are black, you musta retched alllllllllllllll the way back" <WTF!!!!

 

[halee_J]

I am a natural that only straightens her hair only when I want to trim my ends, I'm current MBL. I was at the hairdressers having my ends trimmed when a few of the stylist, kept gawking at my hair. They wanted to know if I was mixed with Indian or hailed from the caribbean. As far as hairdressers go I was kinda of disappointed that they didn't know better. The next time I need my hair trimmed I went to Supercuts were I was told by the receptionist that they don't cut or trim weaves.

I hope you set her pin straight!

 

[glamazon386]

I usually get:

Person: Where are you from?
Me: Here
Person: No, where is your family from?
Me: Here. Baltimore.
Person: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Person: You're not from the islands (or insert some other random place here)?
Me: Nope.

Cracks me up every time.

I also get Is your hair naturally that curly? I guess they're wondering if I have a texturizer or curl or something. When I tell them no they say I must have "soft" hair.

And people always ask is my wash and go a twist out. IDK why...

People also ask how I get my hair slicked down. :shrug:

 

[Kutie85]

-Most of the time people think it is a weave.
- When my friends ask for advice I refer them to my blog. They still think I'm hiding some big secret from them.

 

[washize]

My hair is only apl now, and when I was bsl last year, my hair was busted, so no one was jealous or curious lmao. But when I was younger I had MBL hair and the black girls would always say "Thats trifflin puttin weave in a lil gurls hair!" or " That fake *Ss hair ain't cute" My sister would get so mad, and should would yank my hair shouting to the other girls that it was real and in high school I had allot of girls who tried to pull on my hair to see if it was real, and I got weave checked alot :/

 

[Rei]

why do people think that because you come from the "islands" that means you'll have long hair. My family is from Jamaica, and everyone on our town had the same ate up relaxed hair, or bad weave or extension braids. The only girls I saw with nice hair were the school girls, and that was because they were young and had it just nicely plaited up. lol, maybe its some other town where all the girls have long flowing locks

 

[complexsimplicity]

why do people think that because you come from the "islands" that means you'll have long hair. My family is from Jamaica, and everyone on our town had the same ate up relaxed hair, or bad weave or extension braids. The only girls I saw with nice hair were the school girls, and that was because they were young and had it just nicely plaited up. lol, maybe its some other town where all the girls have long flowing locks

I know right? I never thought that. I'm like, "Aren't most of the Island girls black just like me with nothing mixed in them?" I think I thought that because when I think of someone from the islands I think dreadlocks. lol. But I know not everyone wears them down there.​

 

[softblackcotton]

Dam* I can't wait until my hair is long enough to get weave checked. I'm doing the crown and glory braid extension method now, so I don't really get comments/compliments alot.

 

[Evo-ny]

why do people think that because you come from the "islands" that means you'll have long hair. My family is from Jamaica, and everyone on our town had the same ate up relaxed hair, or bad weave or extension braids. The only girls I saw with nice hair were the school girls, and that was because they were young and had it just nicely plaited up. lol, maybe its some other town where all the girls have long flowing locks

Man, I just got back from visiting family there and practically every female over the age of 10 had chewed up hair or a bad weave. The only ones there that didn't were the school kids with their braids.

I went to get a relaxer there, but practically all the salons had only super strength varieties. When I asked if they had anything milder (I have really fine strands), they all gave me this stank look saying that the women here don't want a weak relaxer. They want the super strength to keep that 2 week old new growth down in the humidity.

I don't even have any real length to my hair (2-3 inches from APL), but my mom was all like "That's all her real hair! She's always had the good hair." Uh, where was this good hair for the last 15 years?

 

[mist0898]

The usual....."is all that yours?"..."oh so you have good hair?"....."where are you from?".....and mind you my hair isnt even all that long!!!


oh yea recently someone i work with said to me....."So when are you going to start wearing your real hair?" I was like whaaatttterplexed????

 

[Lita]

Are you mixed?

Your stuck up..What?

What growth products do you use..What?

I get weaved check ALLLLLLLL the time.

You should cut it because its not going to look good when your older..What?

Are you a hippie..What?

Is that all your hair.....Lol



Happy Hair Growing!