I've thanked several of your posts in this thread b/c ITA. You and I are >>>>here<<<<
I admire your optimism fine.
All This Chatter About Dating White Men, And Frankly...
- Thread starter Christelyn
- Start date
gymfreak336
New Member
Well, I found more info for my rhetoric project 
seraphinelle
Well-Known Member
Well, that's the truth for some BW....what's the issue there?
I understand where you're coming from and I know it makes some folks feel uncomfortable at this notion, but perhaps what they're NOT telling you is that they finally decided to act on theiryet real physical attraction once a BM let them down. This gave them "permission" to act, so to speak. Some BW are still afraid admit that they're primarily or only attracted to non BM and will fake da funk w/ a BM until they get an excuse to do otherwise. Some like to cover it up w/ Zeus like thunderbolt epiphanies!
Not all BW are attracted exclusively to/even at all BM...it's just not acceptable to admit such. On this matter, some BW are something like closeted gay men where some incident pushed them to accept their true nature.
Are any of us surprised that the particular black man let them down?
These threads intrigue me because there's always this thing about people "explaining" themselves and their personal decisions to complete strangers. Honestly, why MUST you "understand" why someone else dates/marries who THEY choose and what does that "understanding" do for your life?
Sometimes I wonder if you guys know just how much like the "Central Committee" you sound.
"The People's Democratic Republic of LHCF".... are we to have have HUGE posters of Jill Scott and Erykah Badu on our walls? What next, "show trials" for IR 'enemies of the people'? After all, no matter what answers they give, they're always "guilty". This is a real :mob:
mentality. 
Sometimes I wonder if you guys know just how much like the "Central Committee" you sound.
"The People's Democratic Republic of LHCF".... are we to have have HUGE posters of Jill Scott and Erykah Badu on our walls? What next, "show trials" for IR 'enemies of the people'? After all, no matter what answers they give, they're always "guilty". This is a real :mob: mentality.
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As I said, some Black women are like closeted gay men...they need something to get them outta the closet. That poor BM was just "the beard" for her.
It's not a crime, ya know! 
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
Dragone
New Member
I'm always so confused by these threads. Looking in a small pool of humanity for a life partner would probably take longer than expanding your search to other pools. If people look in other pools-self-haters, closeted WM lovers(srsly we're using this rhetoric, whatever- that leaves more BM for those who are left. Doesn't everyone win in this situation? Can't we all live in peace and gentle harmony...or something?
Why does this sound SO weird to you? I mean take a look around at the reactions this stuff gets. The "whatever" should be aimed at people trynna mind other folks' biz, but it ain't.
Yup you're right tho, that leaves more BM for YOU (if they want ya, that is
they get a vote on that)...so it's win-win in theory. 
In what parallel universe will THAT convo take place?
Perhaps :scratchch: if we actually start LISTENING w/ an open mind/heart to each other's complaints rather than pretend they and the problems/truths behind them don't exist, more Black folks would be in happy healthy relationships WITH EACH OTHER. Novel idea, I know! :rofl3:
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OK y'all are acting like this is 100% your choice or something. The men have a vote too...
. Most women go for men that approach them, not vice versa. If the men ain't approaching all this talk is just that.
Before you can get to "standards", "expanding your options", and "nuthin' but a brotha"..some cat's gotta be check fuh ya...or have y'all forgotten this basic fact!
I love you guys, you're hilarious sometimes w/o even knowing it! :blowkiss:
The men have a vote too.... Most women go for men that approach them, not vice versa. If the men ain't approaching all this talk is just that.Before you can get to "standards", "expanding your options", and "nuthin' but a brotha"..some cat's gotta be check fuh ya...or have y'all forgotten this basic fact!
I love you guys, you're hilarious sometimes w/o even knowing it! :blowkiss:
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awhyley
Well-Known Member
MahoganyJazz
Well-Known Member
bravenewgirl87
New Member
Actually, I beg to differ here. I've noticed that many cultures where the people are middle/upper middle class, the men and women work. Not or because he cannot sustain the family on his own but because of a.)bragging rights (the husbands are proud and often introduce the wives according to her profession) b.) pro-feminist/pro-equally yolked mentality (the family simply won't have a lower-class female marrying their successful son) c.) he was raised to believe in a family building wealth, together.
The only place where I've ever heard of a waitress (who is not in school) marrying a upper-tier professional is with celebs, credit millionaires and this board. In fact, I've only heard of one culture who vehemently believes that prince charming will scouring the local blue-collar digs for a wife, so, I'm gonna have to go with Chrystalyn's response.
Christelyn
New Member
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!
kayte
Well-Known Member
yeah OP...... ita w/wt.....but for diff reasons..........
& do not include me & mine in your collective "we the black women"
insert "disgusted shrug"
silly but destructive propaganda...
I'm sorry but asinine whiny posts like this give intererracial
relations....... a bad taste in the mouth
and they are not......
marry white if you want...
you're attracted to white men
so what.....get over it
and drop the racist rhetoric
as rationale...
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Bunny77
New Member
Girl, I'm on vacation with my man!
(Actually, we're in downtown Atlanta, so uh, it's not exactly like that smilie above. More like this one.
)So um, I think y'all covered it.
I'm still reading, so I might come back and add my 2 cents!
BillionaireHopes
New Member
seraphinelle
Well-Known Member
Optimus_Prime
Well-Known Member
Hmm...don't let some Black men fill your head with stuff. Black women are more educated, more successful, less likely to have a prison record, etc. than Black men in this country. From the stats perspective, there are more marriageable us than marriageable them.
Anyways, I see OP's point that we should be open to other races. Yes, her delivery of said point was a little incendiary. However, we Black women are always defending the Black man, but I doubt he does so as rabidly when we're vilified so I'll save the "But any man can be a bad man" or "He wasn't the right one" spiel...So keep doing you, OP. LOL.
THANK YOU!
The only thing a black woman can do to make herself "unmarriageable" is let some convict or DL splaboo give her an incurable std and/or have his bastard children or let people victimize her and release her stress/protect herself with emotional eating.
I didn't bother to reply in the "black male privilege" thread cause I couldn't find a "nice" way to say what I think.
America is not the world.
I don't like the way the OP made her point either. Is your husband no-frills cereal, while the dude from the sh!tty family that you laid down with is brand name?
I would be pretty insulted if someone talked about me like "all the __ women I dated wasn't ish, so I finally had to talk myself into finding Optimus/black chicks attractive and be willing to date one.
Christelyn
New Member
Folks please.
Can we STOP acting like what IS, isn't?
Can we stop being offended by truth, even if it is hurtful?
Can we stop being defensive when someone (a la Bill Cosby) calls us out on our stink?
Take that how you will. Nothing to twist around and misconstrue in the above. Those who, inevitably, will be nonplussed and indignant are exactly the folks I'm talking about.
Can we STOP acting like what IS, isn't?
Can we stop being offended by truth, even if it is hurtful?
Can we stop being defensive when someone (a la Bill Cosby) calls us out on our stink?
Take that how you will. Nothing to twist around and misconstrue in the above. Those who, inevitably, will be nonplussed and indignant are exactly the folks I'm talking about.
Christelyn
New Member
Kayte, I'm sorry I offended you. It's inevitable that my post would offend. I respect your opinion--I mean that truthfully. I am a (secret) fan of yours.
BillionaireHopes
New Member
Christelyn, I get what you saying and I think people taking you out of context. What I got from your post is that there alot of more options out there than black men. I guess your title was a little far reached but I got it. You telling the truth girl people just wanna act all brand new.
seraphinelle
Well-Known Member
The title, the subject and the story were far reached.
The moral of the story SHOULD be don't settle for less than what you are worth.
So whether it is a black man that meets YOUR standards, or a non-black man, then fine.
But that is NOT what is said in her post as she concludes with:
That's why I got me a white man.
Christelyn
New Member
The title, the subject and the story were far reached.
The moral of the story SHOULD be don't settle for less than what you are worth.
So whether it is a black man that meets YOUR standards, or a non-black man, then fine.
But that is NOT what is said in her post as she concludes with:
That's why I got me a white man.
All this hypothesizing about why I titled my post as it was, and finally, after reading all the supposed reasons, I'll divulge. Read carefully:
I titled the article as such because I would often get the question from my peers, "Why did you get with that white guy?" Mostly black friends asked this question. THE TITLE WAS THE ANSWER. (I'm also going to cut and paste this on the first page)
Bunny77
New Member
Okay, so after reading the thread, there's not much more to repeat. My bullet points are as follows.
-Yes, in general, I think more black women should be open to the idea that the right man for them might not be black. I say that all the time anyway, so what else is new?
-However, regardless of your decision to date interracially or date only black men, have some STANDARDS, "vet" men and don't get caught up in the cycle of dating bad boys, letting them string you along forever, and at the end of the day, you've got a bunch of kids and are still not married.
-Non-black men are no better than black men and there are good men in every race. That being said, I think we've all said a million times that the black community does not promote marriage, and therefore, black men might be a lot less likely to marry than men of other races... but they still want to pop out kids. This is a community problem, and the low marriage rates of black women reflect the lack of marriage-mindedness among black men.
-So, that being said, if you want to marry, find a marriage-minded man (regardless of color), don't let him waste your time and then do the dang thing.
The most interesting part of this thread to me though was Menina Preta and other folks' posts about education/class/expectations for wives/etc. I find myself much more interested in that topic than IR dating.
-Yes, in general, I think more black women should be open to the idea that the right man for them might not be black. I say that all the time anyway, so what else is new?
-However, regardless of your decision to date interracially or date only black men, have some STANDARDS, "vet" men and don't get caught up in the cycle of dating bad boys, letting them string you along forever, and at the end of the day, you've got a bunch of kids and are still not married.
-Non-black men are no better than black men and there are good men in every race. That being said, I think we've all said a million times that the black community does not promote marriage, and therefore, black men might be a lot less likely to marry than men of other races... but they still want to pop out kids. This is a community problem, and the low marriage rates of black women reflect the lack of marriage-mindedness among black men.
-So, that being said, if you want to marry, find a marriage-minded man (regardless of color), don't let him waste your time and then do the dang thing.
The most interesting part of this thread to me though was Menina Preta and other folks' posts about education/class/expectations for wives/etc. I find myself much more interested in that topic than IR dating.
BillionaireHopes
New Member
The title, the subject and the story were far reached.
The moral of the story SHOULD be don't settle for less than what you are worth.
So whether it is a black man that meets YOUR standards, or a non-black man, then fine.
But that is NOT what is said in her post as she concludes with:
That's why I got me a white man.
Yes I agree with you but I think all she trying to say is keep your options open. She even said it in her other post.
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