2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

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This weekend was so much fun. We played tennis, went to the movies, went to a pun off. Spent some good quality time together. Last night we went to a make-your-own-spring-roll dinner party that (after my encouraging) turned into a kung fu lesson. The guy was showing us combos and how to get away from an attacker. I had quite a bit of sangria and ended up punching my bf in the face! In my defense, he was supposed to block the punch :look:

Everything felt good and easy and right.
 
"I love you" was said :look: I actually didn't respond well, so I'll be back for advice tomorrow. I'm tired.

Another thing is, how am I supposed to protect my hair. He be (I code switch when it's this late at night. Forgive me :look:) trying to roughhouse with blankets and crap. Um...my ends :look: What do yall do about the hair, other than breaking out the full Mrs. Butterworth scarf? I'm trying to wait until crayons and coloring boxes--which isn't anytime soon--come out before the headscarf, but I'm starting to think the headscarf needs to appear right.nah. My ends :look:

And normally I don't eat after 8. Why am I (was I) driving home eating bread and fries out of my to go box? See.
Eating carbs after 8 and no hair protection....I have no idea what I'm wearing to work tomorrow. No, see...I'm not going to let him make me frumpy.

Offtopic: Basketball Wives. SMH. What is so crazy about Kenya? Yall are the crazy ones!But I want Evelyn's sunglasses.

ETA: I do love him, btw. I forgot to say it in this post just like I didn't say it in real life. I ruined the moment....I ruin all the moments. And I totally don't believe in loving people this quickly. I have never believed in any mess like that. But I find myself almost blurting it out so why when he said it am I like :look: :look: I had actually typed out a long vent post that I never posted awhile ago about how it seemed like he was wondering why I didn't say it/trying to get me to say it and if he felt it why didn't he just say it and if he didn't want to then he shouldn't worry about why I haven't said it. So he should just say it. And he said it and my dumb self is like "huh :look: what? :look:" And he tried to play it off by saying nevermind but I heard what he said. Actually, now that I remember, he said it about a week ago, but he blurted it out when I said something funny so I wasn't sure if it was a real ILY or like a "I love that. Yass! I love you!" and so I just kept on talking :look: He always says he feels like I'm not affectionate (and I'm not, really :ohwell:) or like I'll leave him hanging (he's actually said that he feels like if he got down on one knee and proposed I'd just look like :look: "huh? *subject change*") and that's exactly what I did :ohwell:

Oh! And one time after he had gotten on my nerves dropping the ILY hints, the next day I said "You know, I won't leave you hanging, right?...I wouldn't do that..." and he didn't know what I was talking about. Well I guess I didn't either because I totally left him hanging. Aw, now I feel sad. And I'm totally awake. And I wrote the long post I was going to write tomorrow.

Ugh, last week this nerdy girl I work with that always runs to her office to answer the phone whenever it rings (and I snort) was getting off the phone with her husssssbiin and I heard her say in this syrupy voice "I luvv you." uh uh. He makes my heart go pitter pat and he makes my blood quicken but ain't nobody gon' be doin that.

I'm going to come back and delete this whole post, probably :Blush2:
 
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My early morning reply/email to cousin.

Don't allow jaded, mean or lonely women to penetrate your thoughts. They have never had anyone they could truly depend on or call their own so they may never understand real love or dynamics of a relationship. Feed them with a long handled spoon. Their future doesn't have to be yours. Some of us never learn from our mistakes. P.S. don't be like Tanisha from Bad Girls Club either:look:. :lachen:

I figure the last sentence will make her laugh her butt off.
 
We weren't able to speak in person but we did have some discussion about our situation. I'm satisfied with the outcome, we're on better terms than we've been in awhile and that's really all I wanted. Now it's on to dealing with the other issues in my life.
 
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he says the most hurtful siht without even realizing sometimes. in some ways i like that he is a typical "guy" guy but the stereotypical obliviousness is THE PITS.
 
VeryBecoming said:
do you mention it to him when he does?
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i have before. we talked about how he says things and doesnt think about how they will be perceived. debating mentioning it now bc it doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere. would rather pick a fight tbh :look: i give him the silent treatment and he apologizes, but i dont want an apology.
 
^ does fighting accomplish anything or does it just make you feel better? i always waver about whether or not to say anything when my bf does this. he assumes everyone knows he doesn't mean to be hurtful so he doesn't choose his words very thoughtfully. then he's all surprised when i'm upset. it's funny because he says i do the same thing and i'm pretty sure he mentions it every.single.time. i never get how someone can say insensitive things but also be so sensitive to what i say.
 
So, I hung out with him and a few friends this past weekend... They are quite funny and he is such a take charge kinda guy. He was looking for something in my trunk and then made me clean it out... He eventually took over because I want really dressed for all that. I thought is cute in a OCD way... Lol!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
VeryBecoming said:
^ does fighting accomplish anything or does it just make you feel better? i always waver about whether or not to say anything when my bf does this. he assumes everyone knows he doesn't mean to be hurtful so he doesn't choose his words very thoughtfully. then he's all surprised when i'm upset. it's funny because he says i do the same thing and i'm pretty sure he mentions it every.single.time. i never get how someone can say insensitive things but also be so sensitive to what i say.
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nah its not gonna accomplish anything; frankly i just want to make him feel bad lol. im tired of telling him the same siht and have it not sink in. and i dont want to have thr exact same conversation again; if we had it before and nothing happened its just nagging to do it the second time, which gets neither of us anywhere. i want him to see that his words have consequences and thats gonna take action. prob gonna ignore him for a couple days, withhold feminine favor :look: im not the type for gameplaying, but i do think creative approaches can be warranted to get different results.
 
I think my co-worker has a little crush on me. He's been overly complimentary and subtly mentions dating. It's so subtle that I didn't pick up on it at first. I wonder if that's a non-black thing. With black men you definitely know when they're trying to get at you.

Anyway, he must have forgotten that I know all about his womanizing ways. #fallback
 
took advice from the naija men thread and made him dinner. we had actually made plans to go out but then i read through the thread and realized i had never ever cooked for him. and he had expressly asked me to awhile back but i'd said no. :lol: anyway i told him i changed my mind and that he should let me do something nice for him since he graduated from med school last wknd. our original plan was to go to this west african restaurant so i made some traditional stuff.... he loooooooved it.

he was like "wow you can really cook, you're like a real girl" :rolleyes: and said he'd never tasted jollof rice like mine before. and i was like YESSSSS. AND YOU WON'T NEVER TASTE IT AGAIN CUZ THAT'S MY RECIPE :lol:

I didn't say all of that. I actually just said "oh really. I'm glad you liked it."

then we went and got ice cream for dessert and watched the college seniors act fool jumping in the charles... which was actually kinda gross cuz that river is dirty :nono:

anyway we're going to go check out live music today. kinda sad cuz i'm moving soon. i'm gonna miss him.
 
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Theo said:
took advice from the naija men thread and made him dinner. we had actually made plans to go out but then i read through the thread and realized i had never ever cooked for him. and he had expressly asked me to awhile back but i'd said no. :lol: anyway i told him i changed my mind and that he should let me do something nice for him since he graduated from med school last wknd. our original plan was to go to this west african restaurant so i made some traditional stuff.... he loooooooved it.

he was like "wow you can really cook, you're like a real girl" :rolleyes: and said he'd never tasted jollof rice like mine before. and i was like YESSSSS. AND YOU WON'T NEVER TASTE IT AGAIN CUZ THAT'S MY RECIPE :lol:

I didn't say all of that. I actually just said "oh really. I'm glad you liked it."

then we went and got ice cream for dessert and watched the college seniors act fool jumping in the charles... which was actually kinda gross cuz that river is dirty :nono:

anyway we're going to go check out live music today. kinda sad cuz i'm moving soon. i'm gonna miss him.
Click to expand...


but we LOOOVVVVE that dirty water! And didn't you know, rethug Billy Weld cleaned it up. That and the harbor.

#onlywhiteppleswimthere!
 
Theo said:
took advice from the naija men thread and made him dinner. we had actually made plans to go out but then i read through the thread and realized i had never ever cooked for him. and he had expressly asked me to awhile back but i'd said no. :lol: anyway i told him i changed my mind and that he should let me do something nice for him since he graduated from med school last wknd. our original plan was to go to this west african restaurant so i made some traditional stuff.... he loooooooved it.

he was like "wow you can really cook, you're like a real girl" :rolleyes: and said he'd never tasted jollof rice like mine before. and i was like YESSSSS. AND YOU WON'T NEVER TASTE IT AGAIN CUZ THAT'S MY RECIPE :lol:

I didn't say all of that. I actually just said "oh really. I'm glad you liked it."

then we went and got ice cream for dessert and watched the college seniors act fool jumping in the charles... which was actually kinda gross cuz that river is dirty :nono:

anyway we're going to go check out live music today. kinda sad cuz i'm moving soon. i'm gonna miss him.
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aw this post put a smile on my face and has made me happy!!! i can just see it. and your timing was perfect- he just graduated. that's your gift to him. :lol:
 
meesch said:
nah its not gonna accomplish anything; frankly i just want to make him feel bad lol. im tired of telling him the same siht and have it not sink in. and i dont want to have thr exact same conversation again; if we had it before and nothing happened its just nagging to do it the second time, which gets neither of us anywhere. i want him to see that his words have consequences and thats gonna take action. prob gonna ignore him for a couple days, withhold feminine favor :look: im not the type for gameplaying, but i do think creative approaches can be warranted to get different results.
Click to expand...

What may also help is telling him you understand that he either a) doesn't really care that much about your feelings or b) he has a mental deficit that makes it difficult for him to "get" that he's hurting your feelings. Then you say either way, it's not my problem, you are a grown man and responsible for what you say and how you say it :). I know that sounds mean but I'm like you, hate repeating myself.
 
hopeful said:
What may also help is telling him you understand that he either a) doesn't really care that much about your feelings or b) he has a mental deficit that makes it difficult for him to "get" that he's hurting your feelings. Then you say either way, it's not my problem, you are a grown man and responsible for what you say and how you say it :). I know that sounds mean but I'm like you, hate repeating myself.
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:yep: i was already thinking of going straight for the "you must be stupid" line of query :look:
 
We had soooooo much fun together last week :D He's coming up on Friday and spending the weekend with me :D He's cooking me breakfast both days and dinner on Saturday (he has to leave before dinner on Sunday :( ) :yay: And he's gonna put my AC in the window :yay: lol

(my updates suck, I no lol)
 
meesch said:
:yep: i was already thinking of going straight for the "you must be stupid" line of query :look:
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Men hate it when the responsibiliy is placed squarely on their shoulders. They love the oh she's being sensitive and I'm just a straight-shooting guy. They are thrown off when we are unemotional about ish.
 
After seeing him on the news I had to call and just make sure he was ok. How long is it going to take me to get over this? I want to move on.
 
qchelle said:
We had soooooo much fun together last week :D He's coming up on Friday and spending the weekend with me :D He's cooking me breakfast both days and dinner on Saturday (he has to leave before dinner on Sunday :( ) :yay: And he's gonna put my AC in the window :yay: lol

(my updates suck, I no lol)
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qchelle, is this the white guy that likes jazz?

i'm really hating right now.:ohwell::lol:
 
So my bff broke it down like this:

Me and my "crush" aren't really "friends". We hang around each other because of our attraction/magnetism. I see that I fall right into the type he likes except that I'm not skinty (funny thing is he's too skinny for me :look:), and that time I thought he played me by being secretive about something stupid he was actually freaking out...the same way I'm doing now...because we like each other :nono:

This is the most retarded interaction ever.
 
i take it back (i mean, well, you know what i mean). the games are about to begin. i just feel, intrinsically, that the right thing to do right now is to throw a wrench in the plans.
 
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