Your man in the strip club...

[mermaid]

Yeah..I'ma need to back away from you on account of your post being a lil too explosive for me

For real. That was a borderline insult!
Insecure, my a**. It's called smarter than the average doe, okay??
I have worked these clubs and I KNOW what a man will risk in there.

 

[Ms Red]

My sentiments exactly.

I would have no problem with my husband going to a strip club if it were a rare occurrence, but on the regular it is just out of the question. I would even have a problem with him attending a regular club regularly, once you are married/ in a committed relationship all that needs to either stop or be done very rarely.

 

[Radianthealth]

So do you guys think that as women get older they become more conservative? B/C I'll admit that at 21, I don't have a problem w/ a lot of things that my married friends in their 30s and 40s think are absolute no nos.

I have become more and more conservative and I am only 24. I think it is because I feel like I have more at stake...if that makes any sense. It isn't about having fun and doing what ever anymore, I have a family and future to think about.

 

[mermaid]

No offense to Mermaid or anyone else who danced, but most of these strippers are kinda erplexed <--looking.

If a man is willing to sleep with a women who OBVIOUSLY he doesn't know where she been then given ANY opportunity he will cheat.

Mmmm, yeah, I've seen some buckled ones and I've seen some that were too beautiful to be there.
Most were average at best.

 

[MiamiHottie]

I wouldn't mind him going every once in a while. I don't consider it a form of cheating because we go together sometimes and if we didn't go together I still wouldn't consider it cheating. If a SMART MAN really knows what he has at home then he will conduct himself properly and leave then girls in the club where they belong. Real talk, you can't be a man 24hrs a day so even if you forbid him to go, there's still a high chance that he will slip in up in there with his homies or whoever. I have a cousin that says that her future husband will not be able to step foot inside a strip club because she has watched players club and heard what goes on.

Very true, You might as weel keep your man in the house locked if you think he going to cheat. Keeping a man from a strip club will not stop him from cheating if that what he wants to do.

 

[kally]

Just so I'm not misunderstanding you, you think that the men who frequent these establishments have sexual intercourse w/ the strippers?

From what I have heard there are special rooms and rates they can go to for this service. I heard many stories about this. All this stays behind closed doors. Men are weak when it comes to sex and I feel that if all of that is thrown in his face he will react.

 

[pebbles]

Would anybody go as far to say that they are insecure and that's the reason you wouldn't allow your man to go?

Now you know you ain't right! LOL!!

Seriously, it's about not opening a door for trouble to waltz into your relationship. I can't understand why I would be alright with my husband/boyfriend looking at strippers dancing. How can I know that when he's with me, he's really seeing me and not someone else? How do I know that all he's doing is looking and not touching at the club?

I don't know, I think that's asking for trouble, in my book.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

From what I have heard there are special rooms and rates they can go to for this service. I heard many stories about this. All this stays behind closed doors. Men are weak when it comes to sex and I feel that if all of that is thrown in his face he will react.

So the men be tipping and singing Beyonce," You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me?!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!"

 

[sprungonhairboards]

So do you guys think that as women get older they become more conservative? B/C I'll admit that at 21, I don't have a problem w/ a lot of things that my married friends in their 30s and 40s think are absolute no nos.

I'm backwards then

If a man would have come to me talkin bout a scripper at 21 it would have been WW3! I was also insecure, close minded, hyper-sensitive and made everything somebody else did about me.

I've been through the drama and now I just don't have time. I'm much more laid back and if I dont like something I'm out, with a quickness. No argument or discussions. I also don't sweat the small insignificant stuff and I pick my battles. Things that use to bother me don't even raise an eyebrow now.

Bottom line I guess is I'm just too old, tired and jaded to care

 

[mermaid]

From what I have heard there are special rooms and rates they can go to for this service. I heard many stories about this. All this stays behind closed doors. Men are weak when it comes to sex and I feel that if all of that is thrown in his face he will react.

Most clubs don't have those fabled rooms- but some do.
Most guys are just plain ol' dogs and will hook up outside the club and spring for a room, or go to their buddies place who don't care what goes on, or the buddy takes the number of the dancer for the dude in the relationship and they hook up later, or do it in someone's car, or the dude is travelinig on business so he already has a room or the wife/so is out of town and he brings the dancer home. Some for pay, most are not.
Too many scenarios.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Mmmm, yeah, I've seen some buckled ones and I've seen some that were too beautiful to be there.
Most were average at best.

Buckled!!

 

[breezy]

From what I have heard there are special rooms and rates they can go to for this service. I heard many stories about this. All this stays behind closed doors. Men are weak when it comes to sex and I feel that if all of that is thrown in his face he will react.

\

Here's the thing....let's not make it out like men are these dumb creatures who turn into idiots when a little puzzy is thrown in their face. Of course men like sex and are drawn to it...but to say he will react...I think what matters is how he reacts, does he come home to you or does he cheat. And if he does cheat, that's all on him. If that's the case, we shouldn;t let men go out in public period the way people dress and act in normal social settings, not just strip clubs.

 

[breezy]

I'm backwards then

If a man would have come to me talkin bout a scripper at 21 it would have been WW3! I was also insecure, close minded, hyper-sensitive and made everything somebody else did about me.

I've been through the drama and now I just don't have time. I'm much more laid back and if I dont like something I'm out, with a quickness. No argument or discussions. I also don't sweat the small insignificant stuff and I pick my battles. Things that use to bother me don't even raise an eyebrow now.

Bottom line I guess is I'm just too old, tired and jaded to care

Right...I find as I get older a lot of things that I used to have an attitude about really aren't that serious to me anymore. But I can def. understand why a woman wouldn't want her man in a strip club, no argument from me there.

 

[moda]

From what I have heard there are special rooms and rates they can go to for this service. I heard many stories about this. All this stays behind closed doors. Men are weak when it comes to sex and I feel that if all of that is thrown in his face he will react.

I somewhat agree with this for many men, but don't think it is limited to strip clubs. I don't go out much anymore, but when I did some of the stuff I witnessed was disgusting. Many men don't feel the need to go to strip clubs because they can get the same treatment in a regular old nightclub, I have seen women with handcuffs on their clothes, dang near strip in a regular club, too many bare arses to mention, and all these women are giving it up for free. So if you want to stop it from being thrown in his face, he needs to never leave the house

 

[breezy]

I somewhat agree with this for many men, but don't think it is limited to strip clubs. I don't go out much anymore, but when I did some of the stuff I witnessed was disgusting. Many men don't feel the need to go to strip clubs because they can get the same treatment in a regular old nightclub, I have seen women with handcuffs on their clothes, dang near strip in a regular club, too many bare arses to mention, and all these women are giving it up for free. So if you want to stop it from being thrown in his face, he needs to never leave the house

Right! The nightclub is damn near the strip club nowadays...sigh I long for the good ol days of sneaking into a classy establishment w/ my fake ID.

 

[alexstin]

Would anybody go as far to say that they are insecure and that's the reason you wouldn't allow your man to go?

No, it's not about insecurity. We have standards within our marriage that we live by. One of them is that we live by the principle that you don't put yourself in certain situations where the end result is ulitmately a negative one for our relationship. Nobody just falls into an affair or a one night stand. They allowed themselves to be lulled into believing that what they were doing is perfectly benign.

Also, in our relationship objectifying another human being is never okay. To see a woman and think "Wow, look at those breasts!" or " Her butt is talking to me. " reduces that woman to just some body part(s) instead of the person she is and my DH thinks of women more highly than that.

 

[breezy]

No, it's not about insecurity. We have standards within our marriage that we live by. One of then is that we live by the principle that you don't put yourself in certain situations where the end result is ulitmately a negative one for our relationship. Nobody just falls into an affair or a one night stand. They allowed themselves to be lulled into believing that what they were doing is prefectly benign.

Also, in our relationship objectifying another human being is never okay. To see a woman and think "Wow, look at those breasts!" or " Her butt is talking to me. " reduces that woman to just some body part(s) instead of the person she is and my DH thinks of women more highly than that.

Nice post

 

[pebbles]

No, it's not about insecurity. We have standards within our marriage that we live by. One of then is that we live by the principle that you don't put yourself in certain situations where the end result is ulitmately a negative one for our relationship. Nobody just falls into an affair or a one night stand. They allowed themselves to be lulled into believing that what they were doing is prefectly benign.

Also, in our relationship objectifying another human being is never okay. To see a woman and think "Wow, look at those breasts!" or " Her butt is talking to me. " reduces that woman to just some body part(s) instead of the person she is and my DH thinks of women more highly than that.

Very nice!!

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

\

Here's the thing....let's not make it out like men are these dumb creatures who turn into idiots when a little puzzy is thrown in their face. Of course men like sex and are drawn to it...but to say he will react...I think what matters is how he reacts, does he come home to you or does he cheat. And if he does cheat, that's all on him. If that's the case, we shouldn;t let men go out in public period the way people dress and act in normal social settings, not just strip clubs.

Thank you Breezy, I appreciate what you said because I'm a lil tired of hearing that about men. Some of us do exercise some discretion. I broaden my mind to not think stereotypically about women.

Personally I think it is a form of cheating. If you're in a commited relationship why on earth would a man be in a place of naked women? His heart, lusts, and sexual enjoyments all should be focused on hs lady. It is not harmless, it's demeaning and disgraceful. I'm not in agreeance to this idea that as long as a man is not having sexual intercourse then everything else is fair game. Whats the point of being in a commited relationship if you're not going to honor the most basic part?...Keyword COMMITMENT.

 

[creolebeauty]

I don't like it.
I danced in clubs for 10 years and I know for a FACT a normally good man's personality changes in the club and suddenly he don't care if he got a woman at home.
No. Thank. You.

This is very true. I have 7 brothers. I've heard the stories.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

No, it's not about insecurity. We have standards within our marriage that we live by. One of then is that we live by the principle that you don't put yourself in certain situations where the end result is ulitmately a negative one for our relationship. Nobody just falls into an affair or a one night stand. They allowed themselves to be lulled into believing that what they were doing is prefectly benign.

Also, in our relationship objectifying another human being is never okay. To see a woman and think "Wow, look at those breasts!" or " Her butt is talking to me. " reduces that woman to just some body part(s) instead of the person she is and my DH thinks of women more highly than that.

Good post in all, but I wasn't elluding to the fact that all women who don't let their husbands go to the strip club are insecure. I was just asking if anyone was bold enough to state that is the reason they don't let their man go.

You articulated your post good, although I disagree with some of the things said.

 

[pebbles]

Thank you Breezy, I appreciate what you said because I'm a lil tired of hearing that about men. Some of us do exercise some discretion. I broaden my mind to not think stereotypically about women.

Personally I think it is a form of cheating. If you're in a commited relationship why on earth would a man be in a place of naked women? His heart, lusts, and sexual enjoyments all should be focused on hs lady. It is not harmless, it's demeaning and disgraceful. I'm not in agreeance to this idea that as long as a man is not having sexual intercourse then everything else is fair game. Whats the point of being in a commited relationship if you're not going to honor the most basic part?...Keyword COMMITMENT.

Ah!!! Thank-you!!

 

[Ayeshia]

It doesnt bother me...I am more likely to be the type that accompanies him to the strip club.

 

[breezy]

At the end of the day isn't it really all about your particular relationship and what you and your partner are comfortable with? For example, there was a thread about taking a vacation w/o your spouse, and many ladies thought that was fine, but that's something me and my husband just don't do. (Could be cuz we broke, could be cuz it makes us uncomfy...who knows)

So I think this issue is the same. It does not bother me to be in a strip club w/ my husband. I'm sure this is pretty unpopular, but it works for us. We're happily married, no cheating, and he's very respectful to me and all women. Now if he acted a fool or was a bad husband maybe I'd see things a little differently.

Also, cheating is really relative. Some people think just talking to someone else is cheating, again it depends on the couple. Me and my husband feel that cheating is anything we'd do that we wouldn't want the other to find out about...

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I somewhat agree with this for many men, but don't think it is limited to strip clubs. I don't go out much anymore, but when I did some of the stuff I witnessed was disgusting. Many men don't feel the need to go to strip clubs because they can get the same treatment in a regular old nightclub, I have seen women with handcuffs on their clothes, dang near strip in a regular club, too many bare arses to mention, and all these women are giving it up for free. So if you want to stop it from being thrown in his face, he needs to never leave the house

Whew lawd you ain't never lied. I agree with the opinion of thinking it's cheating and you think it's demeaning but the whole notion of " let's not let my man out the house, for goodness sake he might cheat" is kinda off to me. It reaks of insecurity to me, not only about yourself but your man and the relationship. But that my honest opinion.

 

[breezy]

Whew lawd you ain't never lied. I agree with the opinion of thinking it's cheating and you think it's demeaning but the whole notion of " let's not let my man out the house, for goodness sake he might cheat" is kinda off to me. It reaks of insecurity to me, not only about yourself but your man and the relationship. But that my honest opinion.

Basically. We can yap all we want about our great relationships and how great so/dh is, but at the end of the day you really don't know what he may be capable of, and the same goes for him and you. This is where trust comes into play.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Basically. We can yap all we want about our great relationships and how great so/dh is, but at the end of the day you really don't know what he may be capable of, and the same goes for him and you. This is where trust comes into play.

That's very true.

 

[pebbles]

Whew lawd you ain't never lied. I agree with the opinion of thinking it's cheating and you think it's demeaning but the whole notion of " let's not let my man out the house, for goodness sake he might cheat" is kinda off to me. It reaks of insecurity to me, not only about yourself but your man and the relationship. But that my honest opinion.

Of course he can go out the house. He can play golf, go to a game, hang out at a friends house, etc. But I'm not down with the strip club.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Of course he can go out the house. He can play golf, go to a game, hang out at a friends house, etc. But I'm not down with the strip club.

I feel your point! Yall certainly must not have a TV in the house! Cuz all they show nowadays are scantly clad women and you don't want any lusting of the flesh. j/k with you Pebbles I get what you saying and i respect it.

 

[pebbles]

I feel your point! Yall certainly must not have a TV in the house! Cuz all they show nowadays are scantly clad women and you don't want any lusting of the flesh. j/k with you Pebbles I get what you saying and i respect it.

You ain't lying! Even turning on the tv is a big risk! Sheesh! Flesh everywhere!!