Younger Men more accepting of AA women that date outside their race????

[MissScarlett]

Ok I'm married to a black man..BLAH..BLAH...always dated black men..BLAH.....just my preference but I have a question.....

To the ladies that have or currently do date men of any race, do you think YOUNGER black men are more accepting of black women that date outside of their race? Like its generation X and no big deal???

Dh and I have this conversation often, he and some of his friends ( 38 and older) they're old school so it's a new age thing for them to see sistahs excercisng their right to do what alot of Black men have been doing for years while we waited in the wings.

Its just ironic to me that, these same men, DH included.....uhhh have ran the gamut on women and race

Do you find that younger men are more accepting of this??

 

[cocoberry10]

Ok I'm married to a black man..BLAH..BLAH...always dated black men..BLAH.....just my preference but I have a question.....

To the ladies that have or currently do date men of any race, do you think YOUNGER black men are more accepting of black women that date outside of their race? Like its generation X and no big deal???

Dh and I have this conversation often, he and some of his friends ( 38 and older) they're old school so it's a new age thing for them to see sistahs excercisng their right to do what alot of Black men have been doing for years while we waited in the wings.

Its just ironic to me that, these same men, DH included.....uhhh have ran the gamut on women and race

Do you find that younger men are more accepting of this??

It depends. I find that many guys DO NOT like it when they see Black women with non-black men. And some of these guys date/ have dated outside the race. That’s where a lot of the stereotyping comes in (i.e. you know he’s only with her for sex; she’s only with him for money; she just wants babies with good hair; he could never really understand her like we do, etc.). However, there are others on the other extreme that actually seem grateful to non-Black men for “taking some of the burden/cattle off our backs.” And then there are those in the middle, who are either “saddened to BW go,” but still have love for black women, and wouldn’t prejudge a couple OR who at least understand why more BW are choosing non-Black mates, and just accepting it.

I think that whether they like it or not, we are all going to see more BW with non-BM.

 

[MissScarlett]

It depends. I find that many guys DO NOT like it when they see Black women with non-black men. And some of these guys date/ have dated outside the race. That’s where a lot of the stereotyping comes in (i.e. you know he’s only with her for sex; she’s only with him for money; she just wants babies with good hair; he could never really understand her like we do, etc.). However, there are others on the other extreme that actually seem grateful to non-Black men for “taking some of the burden/cattle off our backs.” And then there are those in the middle, who are either “saddened to BW go,” but still have love for black women, and wouldn’t prejudge a couple OR who at least understand why more BW are choosing non-Black mates, and just accepting it.

I think that whether they like it or not, we are all going to see more BW with non-BM.

This would be my dh and his friends. I'm like ya'll have got to be kidding me cause they have dated yellow, pink, black (and all sub colors of black) whatever....

I just notice that younger guys like my BIL are more like "do you" I think its the whole generation X.

I also think that some AA men are just mad b/c now they are getting a dose of their own medicine.

 

[gone_fishing]

I definitley think they are. I have young 20 something year old white and latino and even asian boys hittin on me all the time. I'm only 28 but still 21 is waaaaaaaay too young to be trying to talk to me.

My fiance right now is six months younger than me.

I say that doesn't count though. erplexed

He always tells his friends he's dating an "older" "black" woman.

I think they expect me to show up with wrinkles

 

[dlewis]

My husbands 35, when he found out, years ago when we were just friends, that I was dating a white guy, he couldn't have had a stroke. When we started dating his only concern was that he (the white guy) didn't get any.

I think it's the older men that have a problem with it. Like my father, who dated white women but when I brought this guy over to met him, my dad ignored him:210:. And told me later that he would not be welcomed into his property again.

 

[cocoberry10]

This would be my dh and his friends. I'm like ya'll have got to be kidding me cause they have dated yellow, pink, black (and all sub colors of black) whatever....

I just notice that younger guys like my BIL are more like "do you" I think its the whole generation X.

I also think that some AA men are just mad b/c now they are getting a dose of their own medicine.

Yep. It’s the “good for the goose, but not for the gander mentality.” As much as it seems like there is a war between BM and BW, I believe they really do still love us (even if some don’t always seem to).

 

[cocoberry10]

I definitley think they are. I have young 20 something year old white and latino and even asian boys hittin on me all the time. I'm only 28 but still 21 is waaaaaaaay too young to be trying to talk to me.

My fiance right now is six months younger than me.

I say that doesn't count though. erplexed

He always tells his friends he's dating an "older" "black" woman.

I think they expect me to show up with wrinkles

I’m sorry, this had me rolling!

 

[dlewis]

I definitley think they are. I have young 20 something year old white and latino and even asian boys hittin on me all the time. I'm only 28 but still 21 is waaaaaaaay too young to be trying to talk to me.

My fiance right now is six months younger than me.

I say that doesn't count though. erplexed

He always tells his friends he's dating an "older" "black" woman.

I think they expect me to show up with wrinkles

 

[MizAvalon]

I do think that it may be somewhat of a generational thing but I think it may be even more of a regional thing. I grew up in NYC and seeing black women with other race men was common and not strange at all.

Now, I traveled all over the country growing up and still do now so I understand what you're saying Miss Scarlett. Men(and women) from another generation or who are from smaller cities can be very surprised when they see BW with other race men. I always find it interesting when people feel the need to point the person's race out. "Oh, you know her boyfriend/husband is white right?"erplexed

I just have to remind myself that not everyone grew up in culturally diverse areas so something like that is worth mentioning to them.

 

[MissScarlett]

I do think that it may be somewhat of a generational thing but I think it may be even more of a regional thing. I grew up in NYC and seeing black women with other race men was common and not strange at all.

Now, I traveled all over the country growing up and still do now so I understand what you're saying Miss Scarlett. Men(and women) from another generation or who are from smaller cities can be very surprised when they see BW with other race men. I always find it interesting when people feel the need to point the person's race out. "Oh, you know her boyfriend/husband is white right?"erplexed

I just have to remind myself that not everyone grew up in culturally diverse areas so something like that is worth mentioning to them.

ITA. You might on to something. I, grew up military, traveled so I'm used to seeing all kinds of folks with opposite races, no big deal to me. Dh, grew up in a small town, etc.

When I lived in Sea-Tac, you saw just as many AA women or even MORE with non-black men, seriously. And it was more not just white men but indian,somoan, etc. No one seemed to notice. Here, people say "oh yeah her dh is white" I'm like ok......

 

[cocoberry10]

I do think that it may be somewhat of a generational thing but I think it may be even more of a regional thing. I grew up in NYC and seeing black women with other race men was common and not strange at all.

Now, I traveled all over the country growing up and still do now so I understand what you're saying Miss Scarlett. Men(and women) from another generation or who are from smaller cities can be very surprised when they see BW with other race men. I always find it interesting when people feel the need to point the person's race out. "Oh, you know her boyfriend/husband is white right?"erplexed

I just have to remind myself that not everyone grew up in culturally diverse areas so something like that is worth mentioning to them.

I grew up on the East coast (not NY or NYC) and seeing BW with non-BM was uncommon. I’ve lived out west, and it was much more common (i.e. LA, San Francisco, Phoenix, Denver, etc.). However, now I’m back on the East Coast and I am seeing it more here than I did growing up.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Sorry, I just wanted to beat JG to it.