Would you stay engaged to a guy for 9+ years?

Jade Feria

Jade Feria

Well-Known Member
I know this girl from my old hometown who has been engaged since the dawn of time. I met her in 2001 and she was already engaged for a couple years then. She's still engaged now...it doesn't look like a date has been set. Last time I asked her about getting married, she said she and her fiance were saving up for the wedding because they wanted to pay for it themselves. She seems like she's fine with it, but I don't know.

I myself wouldn't be having all that. I'd have to end it at year two if it even got to that point.

Thoughts?

Edit for Update: Looking through my old threads and saw this. She broke up with that guy a few years ago and soon after found another man, and they got married within a year!
 
Last edited:
sorry, but NO. she's a fool. 9+ years?!!!!

they better have the BEST wedding ever since their "saving" for it.
 
Nope, would not do it. If there is no date set within 1 year then he probably was not serious about the proposal. I know people who have wedding dates 3 years out, but it's booked and they are making payments to the catering hall.

DH had a friend who was engaged for about 10 years. They never did get married. In fact, the guy ended up cheating on her in year 10 (and she stabbed him over it).
 
LOL maybe so, ms.sweetevie! One of my guy friends once told me that he probably got the ring to shut her up. Ouch.
 
OP, is this couple serious about one another? What sort of wedding are they looking to have? A $1,000,000 wedding? Are their problems in their relationship? DH and I are currently planning for a renewal destination wedding, but as much as I cannot wait to finally walk down the sand in my white/cream gown, I'd marry him all over again at the bus stop. When you love someone, the location is irrelevant. It really saddens me to think a couple could be engaged 9+ years. There is something that she is not telling you. I don't believe that she is okay with this.
 
naturaltobe said:
Nope, would not do it. If there is no date set within 1 year then he probably was not serious about the proposal. I know people who have wedding dates 3 years out, but it's booked and they are making payments to the catering hall.

DH had a friend who was engaged for about 10 years. They never did get married. In fact, the guy ended up cheating on her in year 10 (and she stabbed him over it).
Click to expand...
DAAAAAMN! Drama fo yo arse! I mean really, after 5-6 years you have to take a step back and reevaluate. I agree, it doesn't seem like he was serious.
 
Lucie said:
OP, is this couple serious about one another? What sort of wedding are they looking to have? A $1,000,000 wedding? Are their problems in their relationship? DH and I are currently planning for a renewal destination wedding, but as much as I cannot wait to finally walk down the sand in my white/cream gown, I'd marry him all over again at the bus stop. When you love someone, the location is irrelevant. It really saddens me to think a couple could be engaged 9+ years. There is something that she is not telling you. I don't believe that she is okay with this.
Click to expand...
To tell you the truth, I really don't know the depths of their relationship like that..I only know what she portrays about it. She acts like she's the happiest about it, so I don't know. I'm not that close to her, so don't really want to get into her business and bring it up again, because I know if I do I'll tell her it's about time for this thing to happen, or she needs to leave this guy...but then she seems like she's so in love.

I don't know what kind of wedding they're planning. I thought the same as you - for 9+ years, it better be a $1M wedding.
 
Nope, not at all. I could not ask him to make a move either because I'd always feel I pushed him. 9 years is a long time to be'engaged.'
 
No. If it takes THAT long to save up the money..maybe they need to plan a more affordable wedding.
 
naturaltobe said:
DH had a friend who was engaged for about 10 years. They never did get married. In fact, the guy ended up cheating on her in year 10 (and she stabbed him over it).
Click to expand...

Even though she was dumb for going along with it, I feel (notice I said feel, not think) that stabbing is a pretty appropriate reaction.

To answer the OP's question. No, I wouldn't wait past 2 years on a dude to make up his mind about marriage.
 
NO WAY. I don't understand it. I have a (kinda) friend from back home (we stay in different states) in this same situation. It's kinda why I don't talk to her much. She and her 'fiance' started dating almost two years before me and DH started dating. I have been married for almost 9 years, we dated for 1 1/2 years before that.
:brainy:

I got tired of talking to her because she would always talk about getting married, all the while asking if I was still married. It's like she was calling me just to find out if we were still together. Now since having babies back to back she asks if we really f*** that much. Talking about we must stay constantly F***ing. It's like its always something. :sad:
 
9 years you say???? Saving money for a wedding? It's 2009. There are too many resources on how to have a cheap affordable wedding. Shoot you can go to the court and get married then have a big ol' shindig later on.

But to answer you question,Naw girl. I wouldn't do that.
 
No. I have seen this happen a couple times and both times the guy met and married someone else within a few months of breaking up after that so-called engagement.
 
I don't understand that whole saving for a wedding thing, 9 years? How much money does it take to go to the JOP and get married and have a small family reception after?
 
This is NOT an engagement this is some BS if money was really an issue they could have went to City Hall and tied the knot she is wasting her time and energy on a man that is not ready to commit and is just stringing her on.

Drop him and find somebody that WANTS to marry you.
 
:lachen::lachen: She is silly if she believes hes actually going to marry her!..What is he waiting for, His retirement pension to "kick in?" :rolleyes:
 
no D: 9 years wth

I don't know if it's because I'm young but I think after about 3-5 years I'd be getting very impatient.
 
More then 9+ years?!?! Is the ring on layaway? Is he in jail? Did one partner refuse to marry the other partner until they got that bankruptcy dropped from their credit report? Is he in the CIA and too busy on covert missions to help pick a venue? Was one of them in a coma?!?

Nope. Couldn't do it. That's two presidential terms. That's the equivalent of a elementary school kid or even a middle school kid depending on many years past 9 they're at.
 
LOL! I was just at a wedding where the couple had been engaged for 10 years.
The girl was tired of waiting because some of her friends were getting married now and had been engaged for a shorter time.

In their defense, they got engaged when they were very young.


I don't see the point. The Swedish word for engaged means "pre-promised", so what are your promising if you never get married? It doesn't really make sense..
 
No way would I wait 9 years...and I'd probably sue HIM for false advertisement. Somebody in the relationship is being made the fool of.
 
Since when does it take 9 years to save up for a wedding?

Sounds like neither of them are serious about getting married.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Gemini350z
Four years and not ready to get engaged?
2
Replies
53
Views
1K
Crystalicequeen123
Crystalicequeen123
janiebaby
Are women paying to get married?
Replies
26
Views
780
4bslbound
4
MizAvalon
Engaged Ladies-Are You Careful Not To Overshare With Single Friends?
2
Replies
41
Views
962
BillsBackerz67
BillsBackerz67
Glib Gurl
When you get discouraged, remember: A LOT can change in a short amount of time!
4 5 6
Replies
177
Views
12K
LdyKamz
L
PopLife
When did you know YOU were ready to get married?
Replies
7
Views
221
Godyssey
G
Back
Top