Will you make your DH Strap UP?

[socurlyqt]

According to the CDC the leading cause of death for black women aged 25-34 is HIV/AIDS. In 2005 the rate of AIDS diagnosis for black women (45.5/100,000 women) was approximately 23 times the rate for white women (2.0/100,000) and 4 times the rate for Hispanic women (11.2/100,000).

Many of newest cases of the disease are occurring in black women who are married or in committed relationships with black men. I'm interested in knowing how this information affects your view of marriage and commitment. And if any of you plan on making you DH strap up after marriage?


To be honest i really don't know how to answer the question, on one hand you want to protect yourself but on the other if you ask you DH to strap up are you already assuming/expecting he will do wrong?

 

[Raspberry]

Where are you getting the stats about many of the new cases being among married and committed women?

But to answer the question - no I won't make my future husband strap up whether he's black or not. I'm looking forward to uninhibited married sex... a lot of things are a risky in life, shoot marriage is a risk. I'm willing to take it.

So do people who use condoms while married not plan on having children?

 

[Latomian]

Even if I were to ask him to do so, it won't matter when it's time to have children. I mean, there is no going around that.

 

[Shimmie]

What on earth is a 'strap up'...... ????? It sounds like a strait jacket.

 

[MizAvalon]

What on earth is a 'strap up'...... ????? It sounds like a strait jacket.

"Strap up" refers to wearing a condom.

 

[Shimmie]

"Strap up" refers to wearing a condom.

Thanks MisAvalon.....

I would have never made the connection. Strap? Condom?

In answer to the thread question, my answer would be no. Why marry a man that I don't feel sexually secure with? In life, we have to give it all to God our Father in Heaven and allow Him to keep our marriages safe and pure and our sexual love as sacred with one another, exclusively.

I can't live in fear, for God has not given me the spirit of such. The key is asking God to keep all counterfeits of pure love away from us and to allow us into a holy, sacred marital union where no other will or can be allowed to defile it. No plague shall come nigh our dwelling, our union, our love as one.

Amidst all of the tragedies in this life, there is still, beyond hope, the pureness of love that still exists for marriage. It's there for the asking and the receiving of it. Lean on God, not on statistics. That's why this world is in the mess it's in.... not leaning on God.

 

[Rastafarai]

Leaning on God is one thing. Protecting myself and being smart is another.

Cheating and lying comes with the territory even for those that are married. I am not having uninhibited sex UNLESS dude is tested on the regular. I may love him but I love me more.

 

[Shimmie]

Leaning on God is one thing. Protecting myself and being smart is another.

Cheating and lying comes with the territory even for those that are married. I am not having uninhibited sex UNLESS dude is tested on the regular. I may love him but I love me more.

Leaning on God is protecting yourself. That's the with all lying, cheating and STD's, folks following their lusts instead of Him.

I hear what you are saying, And, I'm not going to make this into a religious debate, I respect why you feel the way you do, most sincerely I respect your feelings and I will not refute you or them.

My focus is on the prevention and the root cause, which most definitely can be avoided and is the true answer. T

his socieity has taken such a lax attitude on sexual encounters; it's become a game, and now instead of 'Time Out', folks are getting a Life Out and Life Without. And this was never the original plan.

The rules haven't changed, which are one woman, one man united together as one. Yet, the rules have been disregarded and cast down as moral bondage. Yet look who's in bondage now?

The answer I live by is tried and true... You see, when you really have a relatioship with God and trust him, not man, and you heed to his voice and his calling, hence no straps needed. For even condoms and straps and lab results do breakdown. Then what?

I'm not suggesting that one is to be further reckless and not take precautions, for the rudiments of this world's behaviour has deemed it so.

Yet, I have to place my trust where it counts and leave with Him, not the shortcomings of mankind. Therefore, I trust God to keep my marriage whole, sacred and full of peace, which surpasses all objections and understanding. I lay it all upon His Altar of protection. For that is where it all belongs, under Him.

In this life, we have to have Trust for without Trust there is no Peace; instead, disharmony and suspicion and constant fear. That's no way for anyone to live. Yes we are to be cautious, but not in 'unrest'. What happens pending the results of or in between the lab tests.

We need the ultimate of protection and the ultimate of Peace. There's only One who can give it, for it is He, God who has 'ordained' peace for us. It's His gift of Life.

Dear One, I pray Love and Peace and God's Protection over you and your marriage. Please be happy and don't live in the bondage of fear. It will kill your joy for life.

 

[JustKiya]

No - and I wouldn't, outside of birth control, and even then condoms are our last resort.

We are getting tested, and we share our test results with each other erry year ("Negative again!" / "You betta be!" ) and move on.

Anything more, and we need to be looking for divorce papers, not condoms.

 

[caltron]

Leaning on God is protecting yourself. That's the with all lying, cheating and STD's, folks following their lusts instead of Him.

I hear what you are saying, And, I'm not going to make this into a religious debate, I respect why you feel the way you do, most sincerely I respect your feelings and I will not refute you or them.

My focus is on the prevention and the root cause, which most definitely can be avoided and is the true answer. T

his socieity has taken such a lax attitude on sexual encounters; it's become a game, and now instead of 'Time Out', folks are getting a Life Out and Life Without. And this was never the original plan.

The rules haven't changed, which are one woman, one man united together as one. Yet, the rules have been disregarded and cast down as moral bondage. Yet look who's in bondage now?

The answer I live by is tried and true... You see, when you really have a relatioship with God and trust him, not man, and you heed to his voice and his calling, hence no straps needed. For even condoms and straps and lab results do breakdown. Then what?

I'm not suggesting that one is to be further reckless and not take precautions, for the rudiments of this world's behaviour has deemed it so.

Yet, I have to place my trust where it counts and leave with Him, not the shortcomings of mankind. Therefore, I trust God to keep my marriage whole, sacred and full of peace, which surpasses all objections and understanding. I lay it all upon His Altar of protection. For that is where it all belongs, under Him.

In this life, we have to have Trust for without Trust there is no Peace; instead, disharmony and suspicion and constant fear. That's no way for anyone to live. Yes we are to be cautious, but not in 'unrest'. What happens pending the results of or in between the lab tests.

We need the ultimate of protection and the ultimate of Peace. There's only One who can give it, for it is He, God who has 'ordained' peace for us. It's His gift of Life.

Dear One, I pray Love and Peace and God's Protection over you and your marriage. Please be happy and don't live in the bondage of fear. It will kill your joy for life.

ITA. I don't see how a marriage could survive this level of distrust. I think if dying from AIDS is the concern, then it makes more sense not to marry or have sex ever and then pray that you don't get raped or get a bad blood transfusion.

 

[Mortons]

Doesn't sound like a bad idea. My friends mom just passed away of complications of AIDS that she got from her husband. The stats are real. I know you may trust him ladies but please be informed

 

[wonderstar]

No I'm not going to make my future DH strap up unless it's for birth control reasons. If I don't trust him completely then I won't marry him.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

DH will strap up sometimes when we weren't trying for a child. That just because we have extra from before we were married and I'm not on any other type of BC

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Doesn't sound like a bad idea. My friends mom just passed away of complications of AIDS that she got from her husband. The stats are real. I know you may trust him ladies but please be informed

So sorry to hear about this, receiving this kind of death sentence from the one you're to trust more than anyone.

 

[Innocent_Kiss]

Great post

 

[Shimmie]

ITA. I don't see how a marriage could survive this level of distrust.

I think if dying from AIDS is the concern, then it makes more sense not to marry or have sex ever and then pray that you don't get raped or get a bad blood transfusion.

Precious Caltron, so right you are Dearest One, so right you are.

My God... This is so true and so tragic.

None of this was ever God's plan for us.

I can surely be sensitive to the 'fear' that so many women and men may share regarding this tragedy that has imposed itsself upon the beauty of a man and woman coming together as 'One'; to share and express the love they feel for one another; for in marriage we become 'bone of his bone' and 'flesh of his flesh', a man and woman truly become one.

I don't refute anyone getting yearly tests and sharing their results with one another, yet doesn't this say something very sad and tragic about the marriage? The relationship? The Trust? The Union?

My God! Has marriage truly come down to where a wife or a husband can no longer expect fidelity within their marriage and in turn, come each year, instead of card that says, Happy Anniversary, My Love, it's........ an appointment card to the Lab to check your suspicions of one another.

Caltron as you said, it this is the case, then why get married? Or better yet, why even stay married?

My hope is placed in nothing less, than Jesus Christ and His loving faithfulness.

Father God, in Jesus's Name, HEAL marriages; heal the hurts and suspicions, and the fear which has taken over the hearts of those who no longer hold dear, the love which you have designed to be safe and pure and true.

Father, keep these precious hearts and lives as the very apple of your eye, allow no plague, no sickness nor disease, no decrease in fidelity, between this precious unions of 'One'. Place your hedge of protection around them and keep the enemies which seek to destroy them out of range.

Give them wisdom and priorities which make them responsible to one another and most of all responsible and accountable unto you.

Heal marriages, Father, heal marriages now. Let there be a testiment unto you, that not all marriages fail, nor falter when such has been dedicated unto you.

For Father, even with the tests, the labs, the condoms, where is yet still the trust and the peace of LIfe which you have freely given unto us? All the more with precaustions, our marriages need the very presence and the Peace of Trusting and Keeping our lives and marriages dedicated unto you.

In you, life and trust and peace is found and kept and I thank you for it and for the healing of marriages here and there within and outside of this forum. In Jesus's Name, Amen and Amen.

 

[Ramya]

No. I have no plans to do this.