So I am trying to figure something out. Why are so many black women ashamed of their hair? Why do so many black women wear weave when they have torn up hair underneath? Why do so many black women believe it is in the genes (actual answer I got over and over when I interviewed women why many black women in this certain community don't have long hair) that black women simply cannot grow long hair? Why is relaxed hair viewed as more elegant as opposed to natural hair? I am trying to interpret this but I simply cannot come up with enough answers to justify this. I would like your opinions on this topic please. Thanks so much in advance and all of your help/answers is greatly appreciated.
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WHY WHY WHY
- Thread starter chevere62
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bride91501
Well-Known Member
Here we go.....
Chaosbutterfly
Transition Over
lol, we have talked about this so many times and I kind of don't understand why this needs to be broken down once again, but here we go anyway. *cracks knuckles*
1. Many black women are ashamed of their hair because it doesn't look nice. It's dry, broken off in places, dull...it just doesn't look healthy. And no matter how cute you look, no matter how nicely you dress and how good you smell, the overall effect is messed up when you look in the mirror and you see a hot mess upon your head. I've been there, so I know.
2. They cover up the broken off hair with weave because they're ashamed of it.
3. They think that black women cannot grow hair because so many black women don't have long or pretty hair. The ones who do are bi-racial, or they claim to have native american/german/irish/chinese/something that isn't black, somewhere down the line. Meanwhile, women of other races seem to have APL hair from birth and TBL by the time they are one, and it looks effortless. Of course, they are going to think that the reason why black women don't have long hair and everyone else does is because they are black. They're partially correct though, because black hair does require a certain type of care.
4. Relaxed hair is seen as more elegant because back in the day, during slavery times, black people were made to feel bad about themselves. The darkness of their skin and eyes, their noses and lips, and the texture of their hair were especially picked on. So they started wanting to change these things to look more like white people, who were seen as refined and good. White people characteristically have pale eyes and skin, thin noses, small lips, and straight hair. So if you had straight hair, it was like hey look at you classy lady. And if your hair was natural and 4a/b type, it was like ohh you look straight out of the African bush. That attitude became strongly ingrained in black people and it's something that we've unfortunately carried with us into the present.
The End.
1. Many black women are ashamed of their hair because it doesn't look nice. It's dry, broken off in places, dull...it just doesn't look healthy. And no matter how cute you look, no matter how nicely you dress and how good you smell, the overall effect is messed up when you look in the mirror and you see a hot mess upon your head. I've been there, so I know.
2. They cover up the broken off hair with weave because they're ashamed of it.
3. They think that black women cannot grow hair because so many black women don't have long or pretty hair. The ones who do are bi-racial, or they claim to have native american/german/irish/chinese/something that isn't black, somewhere down the line. Meanwhile, women of other races seem to have APL hair from birth and TBL by the time they are one, and it looks effortless. Of course, they are going to think that the reason why black women don't have long hair and everyone else does is because they are black. They're partially correct though, because black hair does require a certain type of care.
4. Relaxed hair is seen as more elegant because back in the day, during slavery times, black people were made to feel bad about themselves. The darkness of their skin and eyes, their noses and lips, and the texture of their hair were especially picked on. So they started wanting to change these things to look more like white people, who were seen as refined and good. White people characteristically have pale eyes and skin, thin noses, small lips, and straight hair. So if you had straight hair, it was like hey look at you classy lady. And if your hair was natural and 4a/b type, it was like ohh you look straight out of the African bush. That attitude became strongly ingrained in black people and it's something that we've unfortunately carried with us into the present.
The End.
PraisedBeauty
New Member
lesedi
All is well with me
I know we have been 'enlightened' here but the reality is a lot of us believed that black hair doesn't really grow. I know I did with my ignant self.
1) Many black women are ashamed of their hair....cause it looks a H.A.M
2)If you don't know better, of course you'll think your short hair is down to genetics when everyone around you shares your hair woes.
3)Lots of black women wear weave because they don't know how to look after their hair; as a style choice; or to cover up sh!t looking tresses.
1) Many black women are ashamed of their hair....cause it looks a H.A.M
2)If you don't know better, of course you'll think your short hair is down to genetics when everyone around you shares your hair woes.
3)Lots of black women wear weave because they don't know how to look after their hair; as a style choice; or to cover up sh!t looking tresses.
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seriously though? on the first page? cant we just have a normal talk without people posting gifs and "in before the lock" nonsense... its seriously annoying and really immature. Its not like we havent heard or know of the stuff OP is asking. Geez
Platinum
Well-Known Member
And my post bothers you? Girl bye!
Platinum
Well-Known Member
Bye? You leaving? Have a jolly good day then
Actually no, I just don't see the need to argue about a .gif.
mzteaze
Pilates and Yoga Kinda Gal
I will comment like this:
I think most women feel some shame because the standard (no matter what the source) around us is to have long hair yet they find it difficult to do on their own. Wigs (and now weaves) offer a way to have this type of hair style without going through extraordinary efforts.
There is also a LOT of faulty or simply bad hair care advice that is WELL KNOWN and oft repeated in our community. "Don't wash your hair too frequently." "Just put some grease on it to lay it down." "Only use products for black people." On and on ad nauseum. When you couple this with grow hair quick schemes that don't work....you see where we land.
We are women - our hair is our "crown and glory." If it don't look right, or what we think is right - we feel bad about it.
I think most women feel some shame because the standard (no matter what the source) around us is to have long hair yet they find it difficult to do on their own. Wigs (and now weaves) offer a way to have this type of hair style without going through extraordinary efforts.
There is also a LOT of faulty or simply bad hair care advice that is WELL KNOWN and oft repeated in our community. "Don't wash your hair too frequently." "Just put some grease on it to lay it down." "Only use products for black people." On and on ad nauseum. When you couple this with grow hair quick schemes that don't work....you see where we land.
We are women - our hair is our "crown and glory." If it don't look right, or what we think is right - we feel bad about it.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
OP, there is a reason why the majority of us came to this forum. deep down, we knew it had to be more to this hair thing, than what society has been feeding us for years. a lot of us haven't seen the light yet. it is what it is.
I am not sure if women are "ashamed" of their hair. I wear weaves, as a child wore braids,etc. But it was more because of the versatility. Also I wouldnt say that it's "simple" for (at least me) to grow long hair. My hair is currently the longest it has ever been and by no means has it been "simple" just because it's natural or because it's mine.
I have had torn up hair (usually after too frequent relaxers, improper care for my hair type, etc) based on the fact that I didnt know what my hair needed. It is extremely fragile like many other black women (or moreseo). It is not simple for ALL of us to grow long hair although it is possible.
My particular hair requires alot of care to grow past shoulder length. Regardless of who does my hair, my hair has breakage. Ive come to the conclusion that I will have to deal with it and my focus should be keeping it to a minimum. I have friends (of course including different races, but particularly black friends) whose hair does not break easily.
It's different for everyone
curlyninjagirl
New Member
is this for real? must we have a natural hair=self love, relaxed hair=self hate thread three times a week? i mostly ignore them but damn...do a search and you will find quite alotta pro natural anti relaxed responses
No offense, but I don't think that's what posts like this are about. They're about being on a journey to accept the hair that's growing outta your head.
Sometimes on that journey you experience things like anger because maybe some naturals felt that they really didn't have a choice when it came to relaxing their hair in the past due to society. I don't know about anyone else, but for me (at 13) it was either relax or get teased by the lil a-holes I went to school with.
mischka
shrinkage.
I never believed my hair couldn't or wouldn't grow, but I did believe I had to have my hair cared for regularly at a salon in order to grow it.
blackbarbietea
New Member
My sentiments EXACTLY....
*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
I've always had long hair....until the BC.
But most people around me have short hair, wear wigs, weaves, braids, etc., but they like their hair. Where are y'all getting this "most black peole hate their hair" stuff? Most black people don't hate their hair.
But most people around me have short hair, wear wigs, weaves, braids, etc., but they like their hair. Where are y'all getting this "most black peole hate their hair" stuff? Most black people don't hate their hair.
pookaloo83
New Member
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