Is there really nothing that can be done?

[*Michelle*]

I'm not sure what you mean? The products that do the best on my head are not really culturally explicit - as far as I know jojoba oil, coconut oil, acv, and baking soda are beneficial for all hair types...Made for "black" hair doesn't = good for "black" hair and that goes for all products and all hair types IMO.

DITTO! My "white" friend, with straight hair uses Pantene Relaxed and Natural and LOVES it...I tried it and HATED it. You never know.

 

[ceebee3]

When I say sad, it's not in reference to nubian hair. So, don't even take it that way. I'm talking about the retention factor. I like the fact that our hair is like no other, but let's face it, when a black women have long hair and what not, she's automatically assumed with being mixed, etc. I'm just saying, it's sad that this whole "black hair thing" is even considered to be a problem period.

You're right, but people are so self-concious because they feel inferior for having hair that is different. It's really sad.

 

[jennboo]

About this "epidemic" that is the black woman's hair. After reading the relaxed versus natural thread, and reading countless threads or posts on members who run into black women with "jacked up" hair, bad weaves, balding spots, and so on, it has led me to think about what it is that can be done to help other black women out there.

As we all know, it's not just us that are ignorant about black hair; other races suffer from the same ignorance about our hair. A while back a friend (non-black) told me that "you black women have issues with your hair", at which point, I had to lecture him about how I don't have issues with my hair and how much I love my hair, etc. Recently he asked me why some black women say they only wash their hair once a month. How do you respond to something like that? It's sad to admit to others that yes, most black women do not know how to take care of our hair. And even sadder because I know it does not have to be that way.

After being on this site, I feel that there is no reason why black women cannot have healthy hair, whether relaxed or natural, or whether long or short. There's no reason why we should have people thinking they can only rely on weaves and or believing that their hair has to remain short, dry, and thin because it won't grow. This information (on how to take care of black hair) has been available for a while now and is readily available on the internet. The products are also easily accessible, so why is it that more of us do not know about it?

Is this situation really hopeless or do you all think that one day black women's hair will not be seen as an exception, enigma, or a mystery that cannot be conquered? Is there a way we can spread the knowledge and help those within our communities?

Let's discuss. I am so serious about trying to find a solution for this "epidemic".

I dunno.

I just truly feel that the damage comes in to play when folks try to make their hair do things it is not naturally meant to do.

I do think that simplicity is the key... wash, condition, protect, moistrurize/lubricate, minimal heat, no chems, no extremely tight hairstyles than can lead to alopecia, and patience.

 

[msa]

The only thing I try to convince people of is that they can have healthy, long hair if they want to. If someone asks me then I make sure they walk away with facts: hair is always growing you just have to take care of it.

I do not waste my time trying to convince people not to wear weaves or straighten or whatever else because everyone can make choices for themselves about those things. As long as they're aware that black people aren't destined to have short unhealthy hair just because they're black then I'm happy. What they do with the information is up to them.

 

[lilsparkle825]

The only ones I am concerned about are the ones who are how I used to be and just think they don't have long hair because that's how it's meant to be. All the ones who don't want healthy or long hair, that's a different story. Y'all are mixing apples and oranges up in here.

And I disagree with whoever said "those who want long hair will research it". If your mom, aunts, grandma, and cousins have been telling you since you were 3 that you had bad hair and it wouldn't grow, why the heck would you think to go online and search "grow long HEALTHY hair"?

 

[LongiLox]

I agree.

I also do not think our hair is that hard to take care of. The only reason it seems that way is we have gone through years being taught the wrong way to take care of hair. So, now, for most of us, this is something new. Re-learning something takes time, so it seems like it takes a lot of work to grow and retain length.

But what conclusion do we always come back to?

Keep It Simple.

Looking at simple routines, I notice that's what long-haired girls of all races have in common: they don't do much to their hair.

So, I think it will catch on once Black women realize which products are good and that the less they do to their hair, the better.

Oh, and another reason it probably seems like a lot of work is many of us are fighting years of damage. The damaged, imo, is what needs so much work. We have to be so careful to keep that damaged hair in good enough shape that it'll stay on our heads and help us keep length.

That is all.

Let's be examples.

I totally agree with the bolded.

 

[locabouthair]

The only ones I am concerned about are the ones who are how I used to be and just think they don't have long hair because that's how it's meant to be. All the ones who don't want healthy or long hair, that's a different story. Y'all are mixing apples and oranges up in here.

And I disagree with whoever said "those who want long hair will research it". If your mom, aunts, grandma, and cousins have been telling you since you were 3 that you had bad hair and it wouldn't grow, why the heck would you think to go online and search "grow long HEALTHY hair"?

Why wouldn't you??

Well I guess I'm weird then.

I saw girls in college with healthy hair, so I said why can't I have that?

I'm sorry but I refused to believe that just because I have type 4 hair, that I'm destined to bald spots and see thru ends the rest of my life. I wasn't buying that.

People said that we'd never have a black president, that didn't stop Obama from trying

If we all listened took everyone's opinion as Gospel many of us wouldn't achieve anything.

In this day and age, if you have a problem whether it's an illness, credit problems, etc.. you usually search for a solution.

Not to get on you or anything, I dont understand why thats hard to believe.

 

[locabouthair]

Also I NEVER talk to people outside of the forum about hair. I'll only give hair advice if Im asked.

 

[LongiLox]

The only ones I am concerned about are the ones who are how I used to be and just think they don't have long hair because that's how it's meant to be. All the ones who don't want healthy or long hair, that's a different story. Y'all are mixing apples and oranges up in here.

And I disagree with whoever said "those who want long hair will research it". If your mom, aunts, grandma, and cousins have been telling you since you were 3 that you had bad hair and it wouldn't grow, why the heck would you think to go online and search "grow long HEALTHY hair"?

This is true. I always wanted long hair growing up but never really thought there was anything different from what I knew and was doing that I could do to help me grow my hair longer and healthier.

 

[locabouthair]

This is true. I always wanted long hair growing up but never really thought there was anything different from what I knew and was doing that I could do to help me grow my hair longer and healthier.

but something brought you to the board and made you want to learn more..

 

[LongiLox]

but something brought you to the board and made you want to learn more..

I found the board by accident; through a friend who found it on another board totally unrelated to hair. But I was willing to learn and absorb all the information. Once I found this board and saw women who had the hair goals/dreams that I would like to achieve I was hooked.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

This is true. I always wanted long hair growing up but never really thought there was anything different from what I knew and was doing that I could do to help me grow my hair longer and healthier.

Lol, same here! I've been dying for really long hair all my life. After years of staring at SL hair, I figured it just was not going to happen. I never looked up making my hair grow. I ended up here because I was trying to stay natural. I didn't know a thing about my natural hair, and my grandmother wouldn't stop making faces at my hair and complaining that it wasn't shiny. So, I started on motowngirl.com, then naturalhair on LJ. Finally, someone recommended this site, and I started learning from there.

Oh, and someone above was talking about products made for Black hair. I honestly thing that was the problem in the first place. Products filled with junk were marketed as "Black" hair care products. Now, we're learning that all Black people have different hair needs. We're going out and trying different things.

I think things will change over time. I am seeing more natural heads now then I did when I was a child. I am seeing more Black women with long healthy hair, relaxed and natural, than I did when I was a child. We all can be an influence on others. When we get to our desired lengths, we'll have more people asking about our hair. We can give the information. Sooner or later, proper hair care for Black hair will be the norm, not the exception.

And then, everybody can say, "It's just hair."

 

[Shandell]

We would need a marketing campaign as fierce as the one for relaxers.
We would need celebrities to start rocking their hair instead of worshipping at the altar of the Yaki.
We would need to overcome 400 years of indoctrination that there is something inherently wrong with the hair that comes out of our heads.

Preach!I love you sister!

 

[Sridevi]

I disagree with people dismissing the OP's post with comments like "It's not serious" or "It's just hair". Try telling that to someone who has lost her hair to chemo or alopecia. Hair means everything to most women's sense of self. When it looks bad we feel bad. When it looks great we feel like a million dollars.

It does bug me to see so many black women walking around with either wigs or balding edges, thinning hair and scraggly ends.

The best place where education could start would be with the stylists so many black women give their hard-earned dollars to. Black hairdressers seem to be taught to "style" rather than nourish hair. They should be the ones putting women on a regimen, steering toward the proper products, setting goals and monitoring their progress. True professional should not just be about touching up relaxers and heat-styling. They should be educating their clients.

 

[Isis77]

I agree.

I also do not think our hair is that hard to take care of. The only reason it seems that way is we have gone through years being taught the wrong way to take care of hair. So, now, for most of us, this is something new. Re-learning something takes time, so it seems like it takes a lot of work to grow and retain length.

But what conclusion do we always come back to?

Keep It Simple.

Looking at simple routines, I notice that's what long-haired girls of all races have in common: they don't do much to their hair.

So, I think it will catch on once Black women realize which products are good and that the less they do to their hair, the better.

Oh, and another reason it probably seems like a lot of work is many of us are fighting years of damage. The damaged, imo, is what needs so much work. We have to be so careful to keep that damaged hair in good enough shape that it'll stay on our heads and help us keep length.

That is all.

Let's be examples.

I totally agree with this! My non-black friends usually just wash thier hair in the morning and let it air-dry and they're off! (and my non-black bff has hair to her waist and one time, she cut it to APL and it was right back to WL in what seemed a blink of an eye) They only use heat or "do their hair" for special occasions.
Before LHCF, I was always in my hair and my mom was always telling me that "If you just leave your hair alone, it will grow! Stop putting in all those crazy hair-styles!" Now that I'm transitioning, I barely touch my hair. I just co-wash at night, make a couple of braids with some more conditioner as leave-in, wake up, un-braid, fluff and go! The braiding is actually optional and b/c I like the looser curly look, but basically we all have the ability to WnG too...it's just getting the word out that's the kicker....but! like most ladies here have already said, to each his own, you can't lead a horse to water, and....lead by example and whatnot!

 

[HairBarbie]

Hair is a big deal to all women, especially black women since they constantly get told that black hair is bad etc. The hair industry is a billion dollar industry so obviously people do care and as some say a woman's hair is her glory (heck it's even in the Bible).

That being said, to change perception, start with those in your immediate circle, teach them about how to take care of black hair and what products to use etc. Even if only one person absorbs the information that one person can pass it on to another person who'll pass it on etc.

Then the next major thing is products marketed black women, it seems like we get the worse products that actually do more damage to our hair, while other races get a wide array of products that actually help their hair.

That's all I've got for now, but I'll add more later.

 

[*Michelle*]

I disagree with people dismissing the OP's post with comments like "It's not serious" or "It's just hair". Try telling that to someone who has lost her hair to chemo or alopecia. Hair means everything to most women's sense of self. When it looks bad we feel bad. When it looks great we feel like a million dollars.

It does bug me to see so many black women walking around with either wigs or balding edges, thinning hair and scraggly ends.

The best place where education could start would be with the stylists so many black women give their hard-earned dollars to. Black hairdressers seem to be taught to "style" rather than nourish hair. They should be the ones putting women on a regimen, steering toward the proper products, setting goals and monitoring their progress. True professional should not just be about touching up relaxers and heat-styling. They should be educating their clients.

I agree 100%, however 8 out of 10 times it is not received by the client and that is why I said what I did in an earlier post:

"Even when I was a hairstylist (and I was one whose hair was ALWAYS on point) people didn't always receive my advice, a lot of them wanted their hair frozen solid, burned to a crisp, no conditioner and don't even mention a trim/cut...oh and diet/excercise, girl please I would get looks like a one eyed martian from under planet rock! And not all hairstylist "chop" hair...but if you come to me and your hair is in an unhealthy state then what do you expect me to say??? I advised but did as the client requested ALWAYS.

I have no idea how to spread the word. The world is a small place now if someone really wants to know they can look it up on the internet/library etc."

As I also said "...healthy hair IS a lifestyle not a fad".

We also have to remember not everybody goes to a hairstylist. And quite honestly I wish all of you would have been my clients, life as a stylist would have been so much easier...roflol! I think I was WAY ahead of my time.

 

[Sridevi]

Thanks for shedding light Pixel Lady I hadn't even thought about the stylist side of the equation. I do know plenty of women hanging on to split ends because they don't want to lose length or who want the heat turned up for bone straight hair.

 

[*Michelle*]

Your welcome! It really is a tough and sad situation in many instances.

Like someone else said it would probably take someone who can reach the masses AND have healthy hair, that they are rockin', to really make a difference.

 

[Denise11]

When is this craziness gonna end. Haven't they closed enough of these kinds of posts for y'all to get the message.

Can't we just go back to talking about hair products? The changing all the black people's hair and minds about relaxers and weaves is not going to happen!!!!LOL

Oh yeah, and we are never going to have a world full of natural haired people.

Okay, that's it.

 

[*Michelle*]

When is this craziness gonna end. Haven't they closed enough of these kinds of posts for y'all to get the message.

Can't we just go back to talking about hair products? The changing all the black people's hair and minds about relaxers and weaves is not going to happen!!!!LOL

Oh yeah, and we are never going to have a world full of natural haired people.

Okay, that's it.

1. Didn't know threads like this get closed and this is the first one I have participated in. Why do they get closed?

2. I certainly didn't think this thread was about changing minds about relaxers/weaves...my hair IS relaxed. Thought it was about wanting black woment to have healthy hair.

3. I agree with the bolded and often wonder why people expect it to be that way.

 

[msa]

1. Didn't know threads like this get closed and this is the first one I have participated in. Why do they get closed?

2. I certainly didn't think this thread was about changing minds about relaxers/weaves...my hair IS relaxed. Thought it was about wanting black woment to have healthy hair.

3. I agree with the bolded and often wonder why people expect it to be that way.

I agree with 2. I thought this thread was about healthy hair, whether relaxed, natural, or in between.

I think that everyone should have healthy hair, if that's what they want. Some people just don't realize that it's possible. If one of those people asks me how to get healthy hair then I always give them whatever information I can. But, there are also people who are far more into style than health, and that's cool too.

And about everyone being natural, everyone is natural...until they relax or dye or whatever. But I don't think anyone expects everyone to stay natural. At least, I don't.

 

[LongiLox]

When is this craziness gonna end. Haven't they closed enough of these kinds of posts for y'all to get the message.

Can't we just go back to talking about hair products? The changing all the black people's hair and minds about relaxers and weaves is not going to happen!!!!LOL

Oh yeah, and we are never going to have a world full of natural haired people.

Okay, that's it.

This thread was meant for a civil discussion not for fighting. Merely trying to find solution for what I perceive to be a problem. No need for it to get locked up.

 

[LongiLox]

1. Didn't know threads like this get closed and this is the first one I have participated in. Why do they get closed?

2. I certainly didn't think this thread was about changing minds about relaxers/weaves...my hair IS relaxed. Thought it was about wanting black woment to have healthy hair.

3. I agree with the bolded and often wonder why people expect it to be that way.

@ the bolded: Precisely. It not a relaxed versus natural debate. It's about black women and HEALTHY hair. Be it natural, relaxed, long or short.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Why wouldn't you??

Well I guess I'm weird then.

I saw girls in college with healthy hair, so I said why can't I have that?

I'm sorry but I refused to believe that just because I have type 4 hair, that I'm destined to bald spots and see thru ends the rest of my life. I wasn't buying that.

People said that we'd never have a black president, that didn't stop Obama from trying

If we all listened took everyone's opinion as Gospel many of us wouldn't achieve anything.

In this day and age, if you have a problem whether it's an illness, credit problems, etc.. you usually search for a solution.

Not to get on you or anything, I dont understand why thats hard to believe.

A lot of people start wondering and inquiring about their hair when they get to college; there was a big thread on it in the OT forum not too long ago. I noticed that a while ago, most of the girls/women I know who are natural (and NOT a 3b or below) transitioned and/or BC'd in college, myself included. But what about the ones who aren't college educated? What about the ones who are resigned to thinking a relaxer is a way of life simply because no one around them is natural? The ones who are told all of their hair will fall out if they wash it more than once a month or don't get a relaxer every 6 weeks, and therefore would never even consider a stretch, much less a transition?

And as far as looking for a solution to a problem, I still can't say I agree with you. Even as far as myself, I didn't come to LHCF by researching healthy hair, I was just reading Afrobella and she mentioned something about cowashing that led me to Macherieamour's blog, and even after all that I still thought her hair was like that cause she was "special". It took WEEKS for me to be convinced that I could have something like that, and even with that I NEVER would have imagined any of this happening to my hair.

We must also think of the source of the negativity -- you're damn right I'm not gonna listen if some random stranger tells me my hair won't grow, but if my mom and cousins are saying it and I'm looking at them, and their hair has always been SL or NL, am I really gonna think I'm gonna overcome what looks to be genetics?

In sum, I'm really glad you had that initiative to search for a solution to a problem and not believe the naysayers, but that's the kind of drive we gotta put in other people. We have to do better...it goes deeper than hair, but I've typed enough and my fingers are cramping.

-gets off of soapbox-

When is this craziness gonna end. Haven't they closed enough of these kinds of posts for y'all to get the message.

Can't we just go back to talking about hair products? The changing all the black people's hair and minds about relaxers and weaves is not going to happen!!!!LOL

Oh yeah, and we are never going to have a world full of natural haired people.

Okay, that's it.

Where'd that come from? I see a lot of relaxed and naturals in here talking real civil-like. I'd much rather see someone with relaxed hair flowing down her back than dry frizzy natural hair.

 

[Soliel185]

If you're relaxed and this thread made you feel attacked or sensitive then uh...I don't know what to tell you.

Seeing as how I'm currently somewhere between the two, and have been one or the other at different times I can't really throw shade on either side. erplexed

I thought the motto of this thread was "different strokes for different folks (who all want healthy happy hair of variable chemical composition no matter what the length)"

 

[Denise11]

1. Didn't know threads like this get closed and this is the first one I have participated in. Why do they get closed?

2. I certainly didn't think this thread was about changing minds about relaxers/weaves...my hair IS relaxed. Thought it was about wanting black woment to have healthy hair.

3. I agree with the bolded and often wonder why people expect it to be that way.

Oh. Don't mind me. I just had a flashback of all of those Natural heads vs. Relaxed heads threads that were closed.


Carry on......

 

[Poranges]

I don't see any natural in this thread forcing anything on anyone, but maybe I'm just blind...

On topic, I would love it if ALL black women knew and wanted to care for their locks, but we all know that's not gonna happen, I help people who ask, and I help my mother a lot, I'll instill healthy hair practices into my daughter/daughters constantly so it'll become a normal thing for her, and oh about the relaxed/natural thing, she will NEVER relax, lol, I will know how to take care of her natural hair so no need, she can be a heat user natural if she craves straight hair, me? I'm sticking to CC Yea, double standard...

 

[Denise11]

Look at my last post. LOL

A lot of people start wondering and inquiring about their hair when they get to college; there was a big thread on it in the OT forum not too long ago. I noticed that a while ago, most of the girls/women I know who are natural (and NOT a 3b or below) transitioned and/or BC'd in college, myself included. But what about the ones who aren't college educated? What about the ones who are resigned to thinking a relaxer is a way of life simply because no one around them is natural? The ones who are told all of their hair will fall out if they wash it more than once a month or don't get a relaxer every 6 weeks, and therefore would never even consider a stretch, much less a transition?

And as far as looking for a solution to a problem, I still can't say I agree with you. Even as far as myself, I didn't come to LHCF by researching healthy hair, I was just reading Afrobella and she mentioned something about cowashing that led me to Macherieamour's blog, and even after all that I still thought her hair was like that cause she was "special". It took WEEKS for me to be convinced that I could have something like that, and even with that I NEVER would have imagined any of this happening to my hair.

We must also think of the source of the negativity -- you're damn right I'm not gonna listen if some random stranger tells me my hair won't grow, but if my mom and cousins are saying it and I'm looking at them, and their hair has always been SL or NL, am I really gonna think I'm gonna overcome what looks to be genetics?

In sum, I'm really glad you had that initiative to search for a solution to a problem and not believe the naysayers, but that's the kind of drive we gotta put in other people. We have to do better...it goes deeper than hair, but I've typed enough and my fingers are cramping.

-gets off of soapbox-



Where'd that come from? I see a lot of relaxed and naturals in here talking real civil-like. I'd much rather see someone with relaxed hair flowing down her back than dry frizzy natural hair.

 

[locabouthair]

A lot of people start wondering and inquiring about their hair when they get to college; there was a big thread on it in the OT forum not too long ago. I noticed that a while ago, most of the girls/women I know who are natural (and NOT a 3b or below) transitioned and/or BC'd in college, myself included. But what about the ones who aren't college educated? What about the ones who are resigned to thinking a relaxer is a way of life simply because no one around them is natural? The ones who are told all of their hair will fall out if they wash it more than once a month or don't get a relaxer every 6 weeks, and therefore would never even consider a stretch, much less a transition?

And as far as looking for a solution to a problem, I still can't say I agree with you. Even as far as myself, I didn't come to LHCF by researching healthy hair, I was just reading Afrobella and she mentioned something about cowashing that led me to Macherieamour's blog, and even after all that I still thought her hair was like that cause she was "special". It took WEEKS for me to be convinced that I could have something like that, and even with that I NEVER would have imagined any of this happening to my hair.

We must also think of the source of the negativity -- you're damn right I'm not gonna listen if some random stranger tells me my hair won't grow, but if my mom and cousins are saying it and I'm looking at them, and their hair has always been SL or NL, am I really gonna think I'm gonna overcome what looks to be genetics?

In sum, I'm really glad you had that initiative to search for a solution to a problem and not believe the naysayers, but that's the kind of drive we gotta put in other people. We have to do better...it goes deeper than hair, but I've typed enough and my fingers are cramping.

-gets off of soapbox-

I see what you're saying. I see both sides to it.