"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"

[RedVelvet310]

I get the most compliments (from blacks and whites) when my hair is in a curly fro *kanyeshrug*

 

[JuiceMobsta]

When are we going to stop feeling like we have to answer for everything we do?
I rarely hear white women having to explain why they like boob jobs so much.

What does that have to do with anything...

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

nowhere in this thread did anyone say that black women who straighten their hair are less "black" than naturals. i hate when people come into a discussion and put words in people's mouths. nowhere does it say that it is bad to straighten your hair either especially since tons of naturals on this board have been relaxed at some point or straighten their hair at times. however, part of being educated in general is knowing that society is a construct point blank and there are social ways on thinking that are embedded in us. i don't have a problem with people straightening their hair and i occasionally straighten mine but i refuse to be ignorant about the history of black women using relaxers or about how colonization affects us even today. if you believe that the history of colonization has no effect then you must not believe in prejudice seeing that prejudice is a product of that very history. or when a black person lightens himself/herself because they think light skin is prettier, it must just be a preference right? they just like it lol (btw lightening your skin does not make you less black than anyone else-it just means that you were conditioned to feel that light skin is better and you discovered a means to achieve that look-imo it's just less socially acceptable than using relaxers)

and can people please stop bringing up white women's hair practices? lol yes, curly-haired white women straighten their hair (most don't do it chemically btw- they are similar to heat-trained naturals in that way) BUT you don't see white women flat-ironing their children's hair to make it straight whereas many black women are putting chemicals on their children's hair. you can't compare what white women are doing with their hair to what we do because even our children are subjected to these ideas of beauty. it's not even on the same level

 

[lushcoils]

Where did all of this come from? Why is discussing the history of black women and straight hair equivalent to bashing? Where did posters say "you aren't a proud black woman" if you wear straight hair? Black power... .

Right, people are bringing about accusations that no one has even brought up in this thread. Why are they so defensive? Why can't we have deep discussions about hair?

There's a reason why no one makes post like, "If I straighten my hair, will I still get a man? A job? will people make fun of me? Be respected in society...?" or "My mama tells me that my relaxed hair is ugly" etc. Some people have self-hatred whether they are relaxed or natural. That's not what this thread is about.

 

[nikolite]

When are we going to stop feeling like we have to answer for everything we do?
I rarely hear white women having to explain why they like boob jobs so much.

LOTS of white women (and black women) talk about this. Try looking at any feminist forums and you'll here this type of discussion. Many white women deal with and try to resist similar "beauty norms", although they rarely have anything to do with race and much to do with gender.

 

[Gigi-07]

What does that have to do with anything...

It has to do with groups of people with preferences for whatever they want to do with their bodies....feeling like they have to answer for what they do.
Many black women like to relax. Many white women like to have breast augmentation procdeures. Both body mod in some form, but WE often find ourselves having to explain why we don't hate who we are, or the 156,788 reasons behind our decision...

 

[jennboo]

nowhere in this thread did anyone say that black women who straighten their hair are less "black" than naturals. i hate when people come into a discussion and put words in people's mouths. nowhere does it say that it is bad to straighten your hair either especially since tons of naturals on this board have been relaxed at some point or straighten their hair at times. however, part of being educated in general is knowing that society is a construct point blank and there are social ways on thinking that are embedded in us. i don't have a problem with people straightening their hair and i occasionally straighten mine but i refuse to be ignorant about the history of black women using relaxers or about how colonization affects us even today. if you believe that the history of colonization has no effect then you must not believe in prejudice seeing that prejudice is a product of that very history. or when a black person lightens himself/herself because they think light skin is prettier, it must just be a preference right? they just like it lol (btw lightening your skin does not make you less black than anyone else-it just means that you were conditioned to feel that light skin is better and you discovered a means to achieve that look-imo it's just less socially acceptable than using relaxers)

and can people please stop bringing up white women's hair practices? lol yes, curly-haired white women straighten their hair (most don't do it chemically btw- they are similar to heat-trained naturals in that way) BUT you don't see white women flat-ironing their children's hair to make it straight whereas many black women are putting chemicals on their children's hair. you can't compare what white women are doing with their hair to what we do because even our children are subjected to these ideas of beauty. it's not even on the same level

Preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nikolite]

I get the most compliments (from blacks and whites) when my hair is in a curly fro *kanyeshrug*

Me too!

More from whites though. I usually get the "...it would be so long and pretty if you permed it though..." from blacks afterwards.

 

[GeauXavi]

well...

nobody ever stops to think about it in a non white v black stance imo. i have a round face...AND i look young with curls. I look better when i have my hair framing my face. point blank period. Keep in mind that i'm a former natural, and currently transitioning. I love the ease of flexi rod sets, so by no means am i afraid of the kink or curl.

BUT i feel sexy with straight hair, because i know that the shape/style of my hair is complementing my face. Just like the rihanna/keri hilson cut isn't for everyone, neither is the round fro. That's why our hair is so amazing...because we can rock it however we want, whether it's to flatter our features or express our individuality.

edited to add: i'm attaching photos so you can see my point excuse the stink face on the last pic

 

[*CherryPie*]

What are you talking about?

ME attatch a deeper meaning to it?!

The ones that's taliking about slavery, inferiority, "the everlasting" cycle, etc...

Those are the ones who are attatching a deeper meaning to it.

I said that it's only hair...and that they should stop attaching a deeper meaning to it.

Maybe you need to re-read this thread.

By the same token, this is only a discussion about hair! Why attach a deeper meaning to it?

 

[DDTexlaxed]

What are you talking about?

ME attatch a deeper meaning to it?!

The ones that's taliking about slavery, inferiority, "the everlasting" cycle, etc...

Those are the ones who are attatching a deeper meaning to it.

I said that it's only hair...and that they should stop attaching a deeper meaning to it.

Maybe you need to re-read this thread.

Thank you, ma'am!:notworthy

 

[dynamic1]

When are we going to stop feeling like we have to answer for everything we do?
I rarely hear white women having to explain why they like boob jobs so much.

I will take the bait.

Do >75% of white women obtain boob jobs?
Do you think if you were a a web board dedicated to breasts (augmented and natural) the subject might come up?
How did you discover white women do not have these discussions?
So white people never have anything negative to say about plastic surgery?

Why are we discussing white people again?

 

[Gigi-07]

The accusations against us almost ALWAYS have implications that we lack racial pride. Like others have said in this thread, many different races relax their curls. So why are BW singled out all the time? I could point to many other types of body mod popular within each racial group.

No one is specifically pointing at the ww and ask her specifically why likes boob jobs (because it's most prevalent amongst them) or why more and more asian women are getting eye surgery.

I'm more irritated by the fact that we are asked this so much, than the fact that many bw may actually be relaxing for the wrong reasons. (You can think that's backwards all you want, but that's what I wanted to address concerning the OP) I'm not discussing relaxed vs. natural, I almost never join these discussions because I think the discussions, on a site on which most of us already know the good hair v. bad hair deal, is a waste and leads to unnecessary back and forth.

And i see people are throwing around the "defensive" stuff already, so I'll leave my posts in this thread at that. I feel like I should have known better.

 

[dynamic1]

What are you talking about?

ME attatch a deeper meaning to it?!

The ones that's taliking about slavery, inferiority, "the everlasting" cycle, etc...

Those are the ones who are attatching a deeper meaning to it.

I said that it's only hair...and that they should stop attaching a deeper meaning to it.

Maybe you need to re-read this thread.

Again, it is just a discussion and these are just opinions expressed to answer the OP's question. If it is just hair, it isn't deeper than that.

 

[Latomian]

Gosh, I didn't like straight hair growing up. I cried on the day my mother made me get a relaxer (I was 13). Today, I don't have a preference. I love straight hair and absolutely love curly hair...it's just versatility. There's something cool about the ability to change your look day to day. I know many people who are non-black who love straight hair b/c they naturally have curly and this one girl of Asian descent told me that she's always loved curly hair but her hair was so hard to curl. While I agree that some people may prefer straight hair to assimilate to some kind of tacit societal "law," I believe that delineation has steadily disintegrated as the years have gone by and black women are just showing that yes, I can rock my hair anyway I want to, curly or straight.

 

[CheLala13]

You can honestly say there isn't a deeper meaning attached to hair?

So when a black child is born and the family looks at that soft, wavy hair with sad eyes wishing it would stay that way? And when that child is 5 and the mother complains about not being able to deal with "that nappy shi*" or when that child gets a relaxer by the age of 7? Because this isn't just one child, this is a lot of black children. Let's go ahead and pretend that if blacks were the only race with naturally straight hair and everyone else had curly, straight hair would be preferred? I DON'T have anything against straight hair, because that is your choice. But when that choice is being forced upon others, you have to realize that there is a deeper meaning. Just as there is a deeper meaning when you don't let your Alek colored daughter play in the sun too long, but it's okay for her Rihanna colored cousin.

ETA: Honestly, I don't believe most black people want to be white. But those who have influenced us the most WERE affected by whites. Other disclaimers: If you are relaxed, you are not less than black. All I want is for people to look deep down inside of themseleves and understand where their motivations come from. So even if the question isn't "why do I prefer straight hair" maybe it should be "why do I strongly NOT prefer the hair that grows out of my head?"

 

[JuiceMobsta]

The accusations against us almost ALWAYS have implications that we lack racial pride. Like others have said in this thread, many different races relax their curls. So why are BW singled out all the time? I could point to many other types of body mod popular within each racial group.

No one is specifically pointing at the ww and ask her specifically why likes boob jobs (because it's most prevalent amongst them) or why more and more asian women are getting eye surgery.

I'm more irritated by the fact that we are asked this so much, than the fact that many bw may actually be relaxing for the wrong reasons. (You can think that's backwards all you want, but that's what I wanted to address concerning the OP) I'm not discussing relaxed vs. natural, I almost never join these discussions because I think the discussions, on a site on which most of us already know the good hair v. bad hair deal, is a waste and leads to unnecessary back and forth.

And i see people are throwing around the "defensive" stuff already, so I'll leave my posts in this thread at that. I feel like I should have known better.

Hair modification and body modification are two completely different things.

 

[ButtaSmooth]

I personally wear my hair straight right now because I like the way it looks on ME. I've worn my hair in it's natural state, I liked that as well, but I still think I look better with straight hair. There is no deeper meaning to wearing straight for ME other than I like it and at any moment I could change my mind and decide to transition (I've done it before). However, I can't speak for every black woman on Earth. None of us can. I know the history of the relaxer. I understand assimilation. I know there are women out there that relax their hair to "fit in" and there are some of us that do it because we honestly like it.

 

[LovingLady]

nowhere in this thread did anyone say that black women who straighten their hair are less "black" than naturals. i hate when people come into a discussion and put words in people's mouths. nowhere does it say that it is bad to straighten your hair either especially since tons of naturals on this board have been relaxed at some point or straighten their hair at times. however, part of being educated in general is knowing that society is a construct point blank and there are social ways on thinking that are embedded in us. i don't have a problem with people straightening their hair and i occasionally straighten mine but i refuse to be ignorant about the history of black women using relaxers or about how colonization affects us even today. if you believe that the history of colonization has no effect then you must not believe in prejudice seeing that prejudice is a product of that very history. or when a black person lightens himself/herself because they think light skin is prettier, it must just be a preference right? they just like it lol (btw lightening your skin does not make you less black than anyone else-it just means that you were conditioned to feel that light skin is better and you discovered a means to achieve that look-imo it's just less socially acceptable than using relaxers)

and can people please stop bringing up white women's hair practices? lol yes, curly-haired white women straighten their hair (most don't do it chemically btw- they are similar to heat-trained naturals in that way) BUT you don't see white women flat-ironing their children's hair to make it straight whereas many black women are putting chemicals on their children's hair. you can't compare what white women are doing with their hair to what we do because even our children are subjected to these ideas of beauty. it's not even on the same level

Thank you for this.

There is nothing wrong with straight hair but you should know why majority of black women do it. Something doesn't come from nothing, if you watch the documentary 400 years without a comb you ladies will be able to see that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cMf1heTa6A

 

[dynamic1]

The accusations against us almost ALWAYS have implications that we lack racial pride. Like others have said in this thread, many different races relax their curls. So why are BW singled out all the time? I could point to many other types of body mod popular within each racial group.

No one is specifically pointing at the ww and ask her specifically why likes boob jobs (because it's most prevalent amongst them) or why more and more asian women are getting eye surgery.

Have you been to naturallycurly.com? Other cultures have the same conversation about hair.

There have been many topics on the subject in the media. Asian people do have these discussions but why would we be discussing them here?

Chinese on blast about their "preference". http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20100625/wl_mcclatchy/3548235_1

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

I don't think walking out of the house the way I was naturally made is me trying to prove to someone that I am black. It sure does show it (obviously), but what's wrong with that? Its kind of sad that that's somehow a revolutionary and extreme thing for black woman to do to some people.

Do you think a woman who hides under a hat when she needs a touch-up is "proud" of her hair? So can a person who has bleached their skin, relaxed their hair, wearing blue eye contacts, and has gotten surgery on their nose to look long and thin also be proud to be black?

I think you actually can be proud to be black and relaxed, but not acknowledging why you are doing it doesn't look like pride to me. It looks like shame.

And why does wearing ones hair natural show insecurity to you? That makes no sense to me. What exactly would I be insecure about? I still have brown skin and the "black experience." I also don't see any bashing being done in this thread or a lot of others. I'm not sure where you're coming from...

To the italics, what does that have to do with this discussion?

ETA: Oops, I broke the jinx.

answers to the bolded:

No, being natural doesnt prove anything to me but; trying to make others feel bad for their preference is insecure. I feel like your trying to say well I'm more proud of myself than you because I'm natural and you're a self hating relaxer.

To say that the majority of black women prefer straight hair because of some social conditioning that stems from slavery, we're all being brainwashed to believe the hype of straight hair...It stems from some type of insecurity you have within yourself and what you believe being black means.

I do think some black women hate themselves and they deal with it in different ways. Some go to the far left of trying to "look white" others go on the far right of trying to be as black as they can. All to hide their insecurities (doing something for others instead of yourself for acceptance into a group.) Neither of those examples are the majority of black women.

You want us all to acknowledge that we have some deeper meaning behind why we staighten our hair and for some they do. There are examples in this thread alone of that but others dont.

I didnt grow up in that type of environment. I didnt know the seed was soo deep within some of us until I came on this and other pradominately black hair forums. Maybe I'm the exception and if so I agree with ddtexlaxed its sad....

 

[Bella_Atl]

I'll just copy and modify what I wrote in regards to my Interracial dating blog entry:

[This is] the same thing that racist have been doing to us since forever. Placing a hierarchy on race. It's okay to acknowledge differences, because there are physical and cultural differences between the races, but don't rank one race better than the other because it's just not true.

so just like other posters have said- straight hair is the antithesis of kinky curly hair that people of African decent have. Since in the racial ranking throughout history is white deemed good and black deemed bad, having features that closely reassemble what is good in society is valued and praised.

This reminds me of this episode of Tyra where this woman was bragging about having, "the white girl flow" meaning that her hair was bone straight and could swing around. My issue with it is not liking straight hair, but more so the reasons why a black person likes straight hair. Do they like having straight hair because it is not ethnic and is closer to the white ideal? Or do they like straight hair, just to like straight hair? But the thing about it is, we've been so inundated with the eurocentric ideal of beauty that it is hard to isolate influences. Perhaps to some extent we all have been exposed to racism that we no longer notice when we are being influenced by it. Racism becomes invisible due to repeat exposure. White features become the normal and the standard, while any thing that deviates from it is deemed deviant and bad.

I agree 100%. I also think times have changed a lot for the younger generation. I have a white gf that brags about her "ghetto" booty and my son (who is 13 years old) as a best friend that is Jewish. His outfit isn't complete without the pick in his " Jewfro". So a black girl bragging about having "the white girl flo" isn't really to much off the mark for her generation. I think we (older generation AA) are just more sensitive to it. Perhaps? 20 years ago I can't remember any White kids bragging about having big butts and kinky hair.

 

[lushcoils]

You can honestly say there isn't a deeper meaning attached to hair?

Ignorance is bliss.

ETA: It may not be deep for you (general you) personally, but I'm not understanding the denial of hair politics in the black community overall.

 

[Gigi-07]

People are reading different something different than what I posted. hmmm. RIF

ETA: I only say return to this "discussion" to say one thing, and that is if you're going to refer to what I'm saying (directly or indirectly), at least make a correct reference to what I've said.
NO ONE's ignoring that plenty of black women relax out of self-hate. I can't believe I even have to SAY this, on a forum where we all KNOW that we ALL read about this issue constantly.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

The accusations against us almost ALWAYS have implications that we lack racial pride. Like others have said in this thread, many different races relax their curls. So why are BW singled out all the time? I could point to many other types of body mod popular within each racial group.

No one is specifically pointing at the ww and ask her specifically why likes boob jobs (because it's most prevalent amongst them) or why more and more asian women are getting eye surgery.

this is a hair board. why would we talk about boobs and eye surgery? i have heard MANY Asians talk about the prevalence of eye surgeries in the Asian community. my Asian friends are staunchly against it and believe it's a sign of self-hatred. the people who do eye surgeries tend to say that they just like the look and they think it's prettier on them. i'm not going to get into whether or not i think it's a sign of self-hatred but i will say that there is a reason why these surgeries are prevalent and it's not as simple as "i just like it". breast augmentation is more related to gender studies and i've heard many feminists speak in disdain about this trend. bw are being singled out now because there are mainly black women on this site (am i right? i don't know the stats but that's what i've observed) so we are more likely to discuss black hair practices.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Girl, you need to read this thread again.

Again, it is just a discussion and these are just opinions expressed to answer the OP's question. If it is just hair, it isn't deeper than that.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

So...this thread has made you sad...but you feel no type of way about the fact that black folks have been made to not feel comfortable in their own natural skin/hair?

Well, in that case... that thread about anti perspirant on scalp has made me sad, about folks not getting jobs because ignant white AND black folks have something against our look make me sad, folks scared to grow their hair out of their own heads make me sad, 5 year old little girls with permed and picked out hair bc their mommas wanted to throw a chemical up in their heads make me sad... etc etc etc.

I know in my case, I find it hard to handle short natural hair because it makes me more masculine looking. My shape and build just does not support the short natural look. HOWEVER, it may not be that way for all. I've been called Sir too many times than I care for. I would ideally love to have long natural hair, but I prefer strait hair because I know how good it looks on me. I have never had long natural hair. I still feel that a lot of people enjoy the freedom of choice. Why should we be looked down upon for preferring strait hair? I don't worry about what others do with their hair or their child's hair. It's not my place to judge them. 400 Years Without a Comb does not apply to everybody.

 

[GeauXavi]

you know what i just realized?

new thread. new day. same discussion.

it really seems like these threads that are popping up are putting so many people in the hot seat... "why are you relaxed?" "if you're natural and you straighten...are you natural?" People are having to defend their right to do whatever they gosh darn please with their hair.

seriously...can we go back to discussing products and hair retention methods? this forum is beginning to get super-divided...and i don't remember it being so heated when i first started lurking 5 yrs ago....I almost feel silly for even participating in these debates.

ok rant over... **flips straightened hair and exits thread**

 

[NaturalPath]

 

[CheLala13]

Personally, I love discussions like this because they make you think about your decisions. You may be that person who gets a relaxer because YOU wanted it. Not because your mom forced you to by the age of 10, not because you feel like your texture is ugly, and not because you don't have "good" hair, but because YOU wanted it for yourself. There is a difference. My avatar picture is the day I decided I would no longer get relaxers because the question of "why do I relax my hair?" had never been asked. I didn't know it was even something that could be asked. I did it out of habit and because every other black person I knew did. It had nothing to do with yt people or their hair practices. But when I asked myself this question, I thought deeply about it and changed it. So even this board has influenced how I feel about natural hair! We all have motivations and sometimes you are the exception. Just remember the good ol' 75%.