"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"

[arosieworld]

Originally Posted by arosieworld
Question and I am truly curious.. If this is still the effects of colonization, slavery, etc. is it an endless cycle? If not when will it end? In 2050 will we still say black women who have straight hair are effected by brainwashing? My father would always say he went through this, this and this so we wouldn't have to. So is this a discussion we are having so our children won't have to? Because it just seems like this conversation never really changes.

Originally Posted by dancinstallion
It will continue to be an endless cycle as long as people don't break the chain. It will be everlasting as long as it is still an issue. because hair relaxing is the only thing that has continued for all of these years whether its by chose, versatility, slavery or brainswashing.

I'm not sure if you are missing my point on purpose but I mean when will the excuse of colonization and slavery no longer be relevant? When will the people who claim that is why relaxers relax, no longer be able to use that as the reason and will just have to accept the reason most people who relax have given in this thread.... because they like it.
I don't think there will be a world without black women with straight hair but there will have to be a world where we no longer judge someone elses reasons for the style they choose. If we keep recycling this discussion with the same explanations we are not changing anything. We have to let that reason go. The only people hurt by these debates are black women, and the only people saying that brainwashing is why women get relaxers are other black women without relaxers. Everyone with a relaxer has basically said they might have not had a choice when they were a CHILD or they were once brainwashed but now they relax because of preference. So if the reason is changing why is that excuse still the same.

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

It works both ways. Your post do not seem accepting of other people's views on the preference for straight hair (ETA: putting words in the mouths of others is not acceptance). Does this indicate you are insecure about your choice as well?

how did i put words in anyones mouth? Please give me examples. Are some not saying that it is all through social conditioning etc... that we choose to relax our hair.Then they go on to say there can be relaxed heads that are happy with who they are but they need to know its more than just a style choice its about what we were conditioned to believe... Which to me just negates the first part of the statement.

I am not insecure in my choices at all. All I am saying is that not everyone relaxes because they have some deep seeded hatred for themselves that they dont know about. I was natural as an adult and I chose to relax....I've seen both sides of the spectrum and I never took it that seriously. I just didnt want to wait til I was bra strap length to have a braid out that sat on my shoulders.

 

[levette]

honestly,

IMO, because we have assimilated into America from slavery and we have been taught that straight hair is beautiful and desirable. Pick up any averyage black women's magazine and 97% of them have relaxed hair or weave. Plus the majority of black men prefer black women to wear their hair straight. or (unkinky) .

but I almost must add that how we wear our hair has become somewhat an accesory of being a woman. One could argue, why do black women wear makeup? or wear jewelry? or why do many white women die their hair blond? or get breast implants? etc, etc.

To me it is also a part of being a woman that we have so many style choices regarding, hair, makeup, etc. If a womans wants to relax, etc, it is her business! let's kill the guilt trip and worry about more pressing issues such as----Why are there so many broken black familiies who have no father present?

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

For me it isn't like that. It's easier for me to maintain. I really think that black women should learn to stop caring so much on how other nationalities view them and do what makes them happy. Why is it only the black woman who has to be ashamed for preferring strait hairstyles just because we have natural curly hair? Other nationalities don't give it a second thought. They just flat iron and keep it moving.

That's actually not true. Freshman year, I wrote an essay about my hair. I forgot the purpose of it but I talked about being natural until 17, being currently (at that time) relaxed and how I wasn't happy to be nappy yet. I talked about natural hair on campus and how blacks were treated in general on my campus. After reading, my Korean teacher told me how she flat irons her wavy/curly hair everyday because she wants straight hair. We went into a discussion of how many Koreans flat iron and put paste or whatever she said on their skin to make their skin lighter because they felt that white with straight hair is better. It's not just black women. It's in most minority communities because most have been colonized by whites. And they know exactly why they do it. I think we're the only ones who deny it.

 

[nikolite]

No you never said that you were more proud of being black but you implied it by saying that all relaxed heads are conditioned to want relaxed hair because of social conditioning, slavery, etc....We are in essence doing it because we want to be white. Thats the jist of what you are saying right?

No, because you think its lovely and beautiful and want to fit in and look like the other beautiful, prized women with "healthy long hair." Nevermind why you think that (because its a preference) and nevermind that non-black women coincidentally happen to have that look. Is that incorrect?

Never said "all relaxed heads" are anything. And that still doesn't imply that I am more proud of being black.

I keep saying it stems from insecurity because whenever someone tries to push their views and beliefs onto someone elses decisions without trying to see the other persons point of view it shows lack of self acceptance in my opinion. When you accept yourself you know that there will be differing views and you accept them because you are secure within yourself and dont need to have everyone agree with or validate you.

Sigh... If anyone's pushing their views on someone, its you. The only name-calling I remember is you stating that naturals with my type of opinions are insecure. I simply stated my opinion and so has countless others on both sides. I accept your view, you just can't accept the fact that I think its based on upbringing/socialization and that the same exact "preference" of millions of black women are bogus and based on societal standards. I didn't ask you to agree with me. Its called a discussion. And I accept the fact that you think I'm insecure, even though its beyond logic to me for you to think that. *shrug* If you have that much of a problem with it that you start just making things up and completely over-exaggerating and misreading our posts, then just ignore this thread. Or ignore my posts.

In your example you talk about wanting pepsi. Well I wouldnt think about the nutritional value of the pepsi or what commercial I saw that said...drink pepsi. I would think dang I want some pepsi because I like the taste of it. I hate mountain dew and no matter how many commercials I see I will always hate mountain dew because its flavor isnt appetising. The same way pantene commercials didnt make me want to relax my long chin did. Nothing more nothing less.

The point was that you aren't born wanting Pepsi (and I said strawberry pepsi because I meant a brand-new product no one has ever tasted before). You end up wanting it because you've been sold and idea about it. But it was a bad example so my bad.

When I say others go on the far right of trying to be blacker than... I automatically think of the 5% in NY. YOu know the ones that are in manhattan screaming their beliefs to a crowd of people through a loud speaker. They want everyone to be a certain way; think a certain way; live a certain way because thats whats right. I'm not talking about kinky hair I'm talking more about attitude.

None of that is going on here so why bring that up? And I've never heard of a natural doing that, not even in NY.

I honestly have no distain for any style choice. See I believe its honestly just a style choice. Theres no deeper meaning behind it. Thats whats so baffling to me. We're sitting here talking about straight hair as if we are trying to please massa when I just dont think its that deep. For those that think its that deep. You need to look within yourself for the answers to why??? Once again its hair its just not that important to most. Slavery was an issue a looooonnnnngggg time ago. For the most part it doesnt effect my day to day life or my decisions about what I do with my hair.

Okay. I got you. As an individual you're just living life. But when talking about an entire culture and a group of people, I disagree. I think whether a person perceives that there is a deeper meaning is irrelevant. The history, the causes, the symbolism is still there.

By the way I love natural hair on people that can carry it. I loved my texture it was managable soft and fluffy but it made me look like Jay Leno.

Goodness ... That's exactly the problem, but I'll just leave it at that.

Responses are above.

 

[ButtaSmooth]

I feel like those who feel "sexier" or feel they look "better" with straight hair feel that way b/c that's all they know ... you ladies have skillfully mastered gorgeous straight styles and it shows...you are more confident in them b/c you know you look fly and b/c you grew up learning how to master the Doobie-Wrap or the Dominican Blow-Out you may actually look "better" wearing that style ... You may have managed to get the infamous, gorgeous, sleek Aaliyah look down pact, BUT had you taken the same amount of time to master natural styles and grew up learning how to skillfully master these styles, and found ones that suit your round, rectangle, oval, square, triangle, etc face perfectly, you would look just as "sexy" & might feel you look "better" in them or just as good ....

Speaking for me personally....I grew up with natural hair. I did not get a relaxer until highschool when it was my choice. I know a lot of women here did not have that choice and were relaxed at a young age. But I am very familiar with my natural hair. Me thinking that I look better with relaxed, straight, flat ironed, or silk wrapped hair has nothing to do with confidence or managability. It has everything to do with my freedom of choice. As of right now I am wearing a phony airfro puff. Why? b/c it looks good. And when I am done streching I will wear my straight relaxed hair. Why? b/c it looks good. It's that simple for me.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

No you never said that you were more proud of being black but you implied it by saying that all relaxed heads are conditioned to want relaxed hair because of social conditioning, slavery, etc....We are in essence doing it because we want to be white. Thats the jist of what you are saying right?

I keep saying it stems from insecurity because whenever someone tries to push their views and beliefs onto someone elses decisions without trying to see the other persons point of view it shows lack of self acceptance in my opinion. When you accept yourself you know that there will be differing views and you accept them because you are secure within yourself and dont need to have everyone agree with or validate you.

In your example you talk about wanting pepsi. Well I wouldnt think about the nutritional value of the pepsi or what commercial I saw that said...drink pepsi. I would think dang I want some pepsi because I like the taste of it. I hate mountain dew and no matter how many commercials I see I will always hate mountain dew because its flavor isnt appetising. The same way pantene commercials didnt make me want to relax my long chin did. Nothing more nothing less.

When I say others go on the far right of trying to be blacker than... I automatically think of the 5% in NY. YOu know the ones that are in manhattan screaming their beliefs to a crowd of people through a loud speaker. They want everyone to be a certain way; think a certain way; live a certain way because thats whats right. I'm not talking about kinky hair I'm talking more about attitude.

I honestly have no distain for any style choice. See I believe its honestly just a style choice. Theres no deeper meaning behind it. Thats whats so baffling to me. We're sitting here talking about straight hair as if we are trying to please massa when I just dont think its that deep. For those that think its that deep. You need to look within yourself for the answers to why??? Once again its hair its just not that important to most. Slavery was an issue a looooonnnnngggg time ago. For the most part it doesnt effect my day to day life or my decisions about what I do with my hair.

By the way I love natural hair on people that can carry it. I loved my texture it was managable soft and fluffy but it made me look like Jay Leno.

nooo that's not what is being said. to me, even thinking that this is what is being implied shows insecurity. i straighten my hair sometimes but i am aware of the fact that the act in general has a certain history. i know that when i was relaxed, i was conditioned to think this was normal and i'm sure most relaxed heads can attest to this. the moment i turned 13 i was like "ok let's get this started" lol i thought it was a part of growing up as a black female and, judging from the fact that women even relax the heads of their 7 year olds, i think it's fairly obvious that kinks are not what's in with the black community. so then you have to think about the reason behind this type of mentality. i mean there is a reason behind everything we do. but straightening your hair doesn't necessarily mean that you want to be white (that's on a person-by-person basis). we are simply discussing the historical reasons behind it and how, as time went on, it became so ingrained in our community that it's seen as "natural" and people don't even realize the origins of it. what's wrong with saying that? no one is saying "don't straighten your hair" and if what people are saying bothers you so much, i would think that the insecurity lies more within you

i'm also really surprised by the last bolded statement. slavery might have happened years ago (i beg to differ that it was that long ago when looking at world history- America is a fairly young country) but the ideologies that it produced are still alive today. if this really is what you think then you must not believe in prejudice, racism, or any other ways of thinking/social hierarchies that were "produced" during that era. i mean, it's generally accepted in the academic world that it is not easy to erase the type of mental slavery that was imposed on people during that time or to get rid of stereotypes. when we start to forget that then we are moving into dangerous territory

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

nm.............................................

 

[DDTexlaxed]

People are just going to force feed their opinion to keep the division going. I just think it is sad that because I choose not to wear my hair natural or I prefer strait styles, it automatically come out to the brainwashed theory. On a site that should not advocate strait over curly, no less. I have the utmost respect and love for natural hair and you will never hear me bashing anyone's hair choice.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

People are just going to force feed their opinion to keep the division going. I just think it is sad that because I choose not to wear my hair natural or I prefer strait styles, it automatically come out to the brainwashed theory. On a site that should not advocate strait over curly, no less. I have the utmost respect and love for natural hair and you will never hear me bashing anyone's hair choice.

the question is- why do you see it as bashing? i wear my hair straight sometimes and was relaxed when i was younger- i've been natural for just two years and had braids for 90% of that time. i still like straight styles and will oggle at gorgeous straight hair if i want to but when i read this post, i don't feel like i'm being bashed at all. i'm confused as to why you see it that way. imo, people seem to have an issue with acknowledging the history of the practice

 

[arosieworld]

It IS bashing when you say black women ADULTS are making a decision based on brainwashing. The women who relax are aware of their history, they are not pawns in some sort of conspiracy. To assume that behind their reasons there is a secret reason they are not stating is belittling. To assume they are not enlightened enough to realize the history of relaxers on the pure basis that they have one is disparaging. To assume that adults are not aware of their choices or that they make those choices without a thought process of their own is degrading.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

the question is- why do you see it as bashing? i wear my hair straight sometimes and was relaxed when i was younger- i've been natural for just two years and had braids for 90% of that time. i still like straight styles and will oggle at gorgeous straight hair if i want to but when i read this post, i don't feel like i'm being bashed at all. i'm confused as to why you see it that way. imo, people seem to have an issue with acknowledging the history of the practice

You just don't get it. You basically can't accept that it can be viewed as simply a hair style practice. Some wear strait styles with no hoots about why they did so in the past. When someone says it's not the case for them...you basically just say that it is. That just frustrates people. Some people just view strait hair as an option to wear their hair. Nothing more or less. Now you paint people who wear hair strait as brain washed, self haters. That is wrong of you to assume. I ogle and ooh at natural hair, too. I love both relaxed and natural hair. It's respectful to allow a person to make their own choice without the superior one is better than the other. Try to see other people's point of view as well.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

You DO know. Don't let other peoples views make you question a relationship that has been good to/for you. My Bff is white and like you I have known her for years. If someone ever overheard some of our conversations they would think horrible things about both of us. Because she is your friend the walls are down she feels like she can ask you things she would never ask anyone else because you love her and won't judge. I am sure you've used that to your benefit as well and asked some crazy things, I know I have. Not all white people are looking for validation of their whiteness and only you know if she is.

Unless she has telepathy, which I'm safely assuming she doesn't, she doesn't know. I'm sure you've heard countless stories from people expressing surprise that their BFF was a serial killer or rapist. It's healthy to question or else all of us are fools. I have friends of many shades, colors, and sexual dispositions. However, I do not approach them as though they are representative of an entire membership nor do I "let them slide" because they are my friends.

 

[dynamic1]

how did i put words in anyones mouth? Please give me examples. .

Here are some quotes where you assigned another meaning to what was actually said.

"It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black."

"The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals."

"No, being natural doesnt prove anything to me but; trying to make others feel bad for their preference is insecure."

"I feel like your trying to say well I'm more proud of myself than you because I'm natural and you're a self hating relaxer."

__________________________________________________________

Where did the posters discussing the history behind black women and straight hair bash anyone. None of these posters said..

"you are more black if you are natural"

"you should feel bad for wearing straight hair"

"I am more proud of myself than those that wear relaxers"

You are projecting your interpretation of the discussion rather than accepting what is actually written. Now, please show me the quotes where people attempted to "make people feel bad", "bashed black women with straight hair" or called somone a "self-hating relaxer".

By the way, some of the people discussing the history, social norms, etc. wear straight hair too.

 

[arosieworld]

Unless she has telepathy, which I'm safely assuming she doesn't, she doesn't know. I'm sure you've heard countless stories from people expressing surprise that their BFF was a serial killer or rapist. It's healthy to question or else all of us are fools. I have friends of many shades, colors, and sexual dispositions. However, I do not approach them as though they are representative of an entire membership nor do I "let them slide" because they are my friends.

I am sorry but the OP states she and this girl are close and have been friends for years. Someone who tries to "validate their whiteness" doesn't pull that move out of the blue, for the first time ever, years after being a friend. You may not approach your friends with strange questions but I know I do. As I said my best friend is white and she has asked me crazy things and I have asked her crazy things. I have asked her to represent all white people to me before and all New yorkers and all people born in her generation, with the stupidest questions I would never ask anyone else. For every single one she has let me slide and always will, as I would do for her because we are best friends. This is not some random seasonal friend this is a best friend for the OP. I have a white foster sister, same thing applies. I know her, I know her values and I know her character. I am sorry, I think its healthier to see the people important in your life as inherently good.

 

[*CherryPie*]

DD, They ain't trying to understand you. They don't want to accept the truth. They like feeling superior (even though it's in their own minds). That's why this thread hasn't changed at all.

They like the seperation of the forum. They have that "jiggaboo vs. Wannabe" mentality. It's not gonna change because they are enjoying this, and your frustration means NOTHING to them.

Yeah, I said all that.

You just don't get it. You basically can't accept that it can be viewed as simply a hair style practice. Some wear strait styles with no hoots about why they did so in the past. When someone says it's not the case for them...you basically just say that it is. That just frustrates people. Some people just view strait hair as an option to wear their hair. Nothing more or less. Now you paint people who wear hair strait as brain washed, self haters. That is wrong of you to assume. I ogle and ooh at natural hair, too. I love both relaxed and natural hair. It's respectful to allow a person to make their own choice without the superior one is better than the other. Try to see other people's point of view as well.

 

[gcchick_07]

when over half of a culture of people permanently alters a feature natural to them as a race specifically...i don't understand why that is not cause for concern

if over half of asians were getting that eyelid surgery, i would be concerned

if over half of white women (does anyone know the stats?) were bleaching their hair blonde, i would be concerned

it just so happens that i am a black woman who notices that WELL OVER HALF of other black women permanently straighten their hair. did they all just come to the same conclusion? are we all the same person? do we have some telepathic link that makes us all think straight hair is better than what happens to grow out of the scalp?

y'all got to be kidding me, trying to ignore facts.

we are not talking about INDIVIDUAL preferences. but how is it that MOST black women's individual preference is the same when it comes to permanently altering a feature that is predominant in black people?

come on son.

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

So...this thread has made you sad...but you feel no type of way about the fact that black folks have been made to not feel comfortable in their own natural skin/hair?

Well, in that case... that thread about anti perspirant on scalp has made me sad, about folks not getting jobs because ignant white AND black folks have something against our look make me sad, folks scared to grow their hair out of their own heads make me sad, 5 year old little girls with permed and picked out hair bc their mommas wanted to throw a chemical up in their heads make me sad... etc etc etc.

.

Black people who have completely different hair not preferring their own hair EN MASSE is weird IMO.

I don't see curly/wavy haired white, Latino, Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. women wearing relaxers to make sure that their hair is bone straight at all times. They could wear relaxers and never have to flat iron but they don't. (they'd have to have it in for maybe 30 seconds but still). They flat-iron sometimes, not all the time. They don't run from water when it rains or sprint inside the house after swimming. They may wear it as a style occasionally or for a few months (as I and many other naturals do) but they typically do not alter their hair for decades at a time like many black women do.

).

Bolded: Exactly. I have so much respect for women who are able to essentially say "Well, i wear my hair straight, I'm non-apologetic about it, I'm going to continue to wear it straight...but i'm not delusional, I KNOW where the preference stems from". So much respect. To me, relaxed heads with that mentality are truly comfortable with their decision, and i cannot knock that...at all.

It will continue to be an endless cycle as long as people don't break the chain. It will be everlasting as long as it is still an issue. because hair relaxing is the only thing that has continued for all of these years whether its by chose, versatility, slavery or brainswashing.


Some black people in america feel it is taboo not to relax. You can no longer oppress black people in any other way, But when you mention hair then we get sensitive. We have a complex about hair. (I know I do).

Wonders if the question was, "Why do so many blacks find their natural hair unattractive?" ...would people still say things like, "...It has nothing to do with slavery, colonization, social conditioning, the media, etc... It's not about history people..it's just hair..." ?

Do you think a woman who hides under a hat when she needs a touch-up is "proud" of her hair? So can a person who has bleached their skin, relaxed their hair, wearing blue eye contacts, and has gotten surgery on their nose to look long and thin also be proud to be black?

I think you actually can be proud to be black and relaxed, but not acknowledging why you are doing it doesn't look like pride to me. It looks like shame.

i don't have a problem with people straightening their hair and i occasionally straighten mine but i refuse to be ignorant about the history of black women using relaxers or about how colonization affects us even today. if you believe that the history of colonization has no effect then you must not believe in prejudice seeing that prejudice is a product of that very history. or when a black person lightens himself/herself because they think light skin is prettier, it must just be a preference right? they just like it lol (btw lightening your skin does not make you less black than anyone else-it just means that you were conditioned to feel that light skin is better and you discovered a means to achieve that look-imo it's just less socially acceptable than using relaxers)

My response is in blue below.

If folks were truly comfortable with their decision to relax, they wouldnt put forth half-behind arguments to defend their decision, nor would they become irate or belligerent at the notion that maybe their choice stems from a volatile and ugly place. They would remove themselves emotionally for a bit and attempt to think about it logically.

Social norms in a predominately-white country that used to enslave and debase your ancestors with naturally kinky hair are what may make someone call you "sir". No one looks down on you for that, or for wanting to accepted and look pretty by their standards. But to some extent these are THEIR standards that cause this (WASP's). .

Drop the denial. Drop the delusion. Accept the truth and move forward from there. Just like the so-called Jews tell their kids to "never forget" the Holocaust generation after generation, that's what we need to be doing with our children.

That's when it will end.

That said....it will never end.

My final comments (cuz I can no longer take the denial that ironically proves the original assertion of the effects of colonization):

A) Notice how many people in this thread are saying, "well white folks do it too..." It proves the point that even today, we still define our behavior and measure the MEANING and WORTH of who we are and what we do against white folk's standards.

White people do it, so it MUST be okay. No need for inflection and reflection. No need to examine why someone told you (by word or deed) that something was wrong with what God put on your head when you were 4 or 5 and to this day you are still holding on to that.

Nope.

White people do it too so it can't be that bad.

See how that works?



.

Here are some quotes where you assigned another meaning to what was actually said.

"It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black."

"The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals."

"No, being natural doesnt prove anything to me but; trying to make others feel bad for their preference is insecure."

"I feel like your trying to say well I'm more proud of myself than you because I'm natural and you're a self hating relaxer."

__________________________________________________________

Where did the posters discussing the history behind black women and straight hair bash anyone. None of these posters said..

"you are more black if you are natural"

"you should feel bad for wearing straight hair"

"I am more proud of myself than those that wear relaxers"

You are projecting your interpretation of the discussion rather than accepting what is actually written. Now, please show me the quotes where people attempted to "make people feel bad", "bashed black women with straight hair" or called somone a "self-hating relaxer".

By the way, some of the people discussing the history, social norms, etc. wear straight hair too.

Heres just a few that I will point out.

 

[kmn1980]

^^^ WOW...if you got:

"you are more black if you are natural"

"you should feel bad for wearing straight hair"

"I am more proud of myself than those that wear relaxers"

From what I posted, you are Stretch Armstrong.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

dang, aint yall tired of posting in here yet? All these long responses. My fingers just hurt lol. Look yall, Im not taking this too deep, all i know is, I love my texlaxed hair. I loved my natural hair. and I loved my red and bleached blonde hair. I just love my hair period, so go love your hair and stop fussing, geeze..... making mountains out of a molehills. im oouttt!!! peace!

 

[dancinstallion]

You can honestly say there isn't a deeper meaning attached to hair?
So when a black child is born and the family looks at that soft, wavy hair with sad eyes wishing it would stay that way? And when that child is 5 and the mother complains about not being able to deal with "that nappy shi*" or when that child gets a relaxer by the age of 7? Because this isn't just one child, this is a lot of black children. Let's go ahead and pretend that if blacks were the only race with naturally straight hair and everyone else had curly, straight hair would be preferred? I DON'T have anything against straight hair, because that is your choice. But when that choice is being forced upon others, you have to realize that there is a deeper meaning. Just as there is a deeper meaning when you don't let your Alek colored daughter play in the sun too long, but it's okay for her Rihanna colored cousin.

ETA: Honestly, I don't believe most black people want to be white. But those who have influenced us the most WERE affected by whites. Other disclaimers: If you are relaxed, you are not less than black. All I want is for people to look deep down inside of themseleves and understand where their motivations come from. So even if the question isn't "why do I prefer straight hair" maybe it should be "why do I strongly NOT prefer the hair that grows out of my head?"

Preach because I totally agree.
I don't prefer the hair growing out of my scalp because it is kinky and tangled. I prefer 3a or 2c hair type. I do love how think my hair is but I hate the kinks/knots. I will admit it.
When my darker skinned DS plays in the sun I find myself saying "oh your are going to get so black/dark. I don't say it to her but those are my thoughts. I don't let my thoughts become my words because that can be damaging. I know I have a color complex that I don't act on. I am brown skinned and my DH is a dark skinned African. I prefer Brown skinned not high yellow and not midnight black. I wan't attracted to those types of men but I know it had something to do with my color complex that made me not attracted to some men.

 

[arosieworld]

when over half of a culture of people permanently alters a feature natural to them as a race specifically...i don't understand why that is not cause for concern

if over half of asians were getting that eyelid surgery, i would be concerned

if over half of white women (does anyone know the stats?) were bleaching their hair blonde, i would be concerned

it just so happens that i am a black woman who notices that WELL OVER HALF of other black women permanently straighten their hair. did they all just come to the same conclusion? are we all the same person? do we have some telepathic link that makes us all think straight hair is better than what happens to grow out of the scalp?

y'all got to be kidding me, trying to ignore facts.

we are not talking about INDIVIDUAL preferences. but how is it that MOST black women's individual preference is the same when it comes to permanently altering a feature that is predominant in black people?

come on son.

Over half of all women black or white with gray hair dye it. A feature predominant to old people. Where is the concern? There isn't any because its a simple choice someone makes for their personal style. No one is ignoring history, but history only started us on the path to relax for those that continue to walk that path it is now choice.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

It IS bashing when you say black women ADULTS are making a decision based on brainwashing. The women who relax are aware of their history, they are not pawns in some sort of conspiracy. To assume that behind their reasons there is a secret reason they are not stating is belittling. To assume they are not enlightened enough to realize the history of relaxers on the pure basis that they have one is disparaging. To assume that adults are not aware of their choices or that they make those choices without a thought process of their own is degrading.

people in general make decisions based on ideologies that are passed down. black women aren't the only ones but right now we are discussing this in particular. this isn't a unique case in society (someone already brought up breast augmentation and eyelid surgery. even the way that we dress our babies -boys with blue, girls with pink- is influenced by social ways of thinking- why should this case be any different?). i'm not sure why it bothers some people so much. being an adult does not make you exempt from being a product of your society. we are ALL products of our society in some ways and our choices reflect that. not sure how that turned into a "omg so you think i hate myself" thread

 

[Ladybelle]

I think women of every race alter their looks for vanities sake. Most anglo-saxon women dye their hair.

women with curly hair, want straight hair
women with straight hair want curly hair
women with brunette hair want blonde hair
women with short hair want long hair
women with gray hair want no grays
pale folks want to have darker skin
darker skin folks want lighter skin
short people wanna be taller
flat arsed people want booties
big booty folk want smaller booties
the list goes on & on.

what I'm trying to understand is why black women are deemed to have an identity problem/low self-esteem when we choose to also alter our looks (straight hair)

when does the line end with a black woman from just doing what women tend to do vs hating herself?

show me a woman (of any race) who is & has always been 100% natural in her looks (no makeup, no chemical alteration to her hair, no straightening, no treatments of any kind) and I will show you the EXCEPTION to the rule.

 

[arosieworld]

people in general make decisions based on ideologies that are passed down. black women aren't the only ones but right now we are discussing this in particular. this isn't a unique case in society (someone already brought up breast augmentation and eyelid surgery. even the way that we dress our babies -boys with blue, girls with pink- is influenced by social ways of thinking- why should this case be any different?). i'm not sure why it bothers some people so much. being an adult does not make you exempt from being a product of your society. we are ALL products of our society in some ways and our choices reflect that. not sure how that turned into a "omg so you think i hate myself" thread

We are all products of society and every bit of of history effects our choices. I am stating that this is no longer the effects of brainwashing. The women who relax today are not brainwashed they are making a choice of their own volition while fully aware of the history of relaxers. I don't even wear my hair straight so I kind of don't have a dog in this fight. I just feel that we constantly create a division between ourselves for no reason. If a adult relaxes why must it still be programming and not just a style choice? Personally I feel we have reached a point where it should be.

 

[EccentricRed]

women with curly hair, want straight hair
women with straight hair want curly hair
women with brunette hair want blonde hair
women with short hair want long hair
women with gray hair want no grays
pale folks want to have darker skin
darker skin folks want lighter skin
short people wanna be taller
flat arsed people want booties
big booty folk want smaller booties
the list goes on & on.

ANNNNNNNNDDDDDDD scene! This answers millions of questions.

 

[dynamic1]

I think women of every race alter their looks for vanities sake. Most anglo-saxon women dye their hair.

women with curly hair, want straight hair
women with straight hair want curly hair
women with brunette hair want blonde hair
women with short hair want long hair
women with gray hair want no grays
pale folks want to have darker skin
darker skin folks want lighter skin
short people wanna be taller
flat arsed people want booties
big booty folk want smaller booties
the list goes on & on.

I think you missed one..

Women with naturally straight hair wanting tightly coiled hair.
(ETA: minus the handful of asians)

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I wonder, if asked, would over 1/2 of the silky haired black folx want nappy hair since, you know, people always want what they don't have

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

i saw clips.... did not see the entire movie


but did you ladies see Chris Rock's movie on Hair?....when he asks the Korean salesman where is all the kinky or afro textured weave? Did he respond something to the nature of noone wants to buy that...or we can't sell that?

 

[orchidgirl]

I grew up in an all WT town and always wore my hair natural, I had my WT friend trying to achieve my look with perms etc. i think sometime people are attracted to what they don't have. That my personal thought only...