"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"

[JuiceMobsta]

This thread had made me so sad. Just because black people wear their hair strait, we're brain washed? White people and other nationalities also do this. Are they also brain washed? This site is supposed to be free from this mentality. It just makes no kind of sense.

No one is necessarily "brainwashed", but white people and other nationalities natural hair is usually widely accepted. Can we say the same for our hair?? Our natural hair is still not widely accepted(although it has improved over the years) and has not been for some time and that is atleast part of the reason why bw prefer straight hair.

 

[Jewell]

Personally, I used to prefer straight hair, as that is what I was used to, since my mother acted as if my natural hair was unkempt looking and too hard to manage. However, as I started stretching my relaxers (time between touch-ups), I realized that I preferred the look and feel of my NG much better than the thin, straight, relaxed hair. I have always loved big, natural, kinky hair on other women, but thought I couldn't attain that for myself. That is when I transitioned for the 1st time.

It's all about a person's preference and state of mind. I won't even entertain the thought that every Black woman or person who wears their hair straight is brainwashed. Thats just a ludicrous and ignorant generalization. Some people really do have a deep issue with their natural hair (some women in my fam are in that group). Some just wear straight hair for the manageability. I had to give up chemicals in order to get to my long, thick, natural hair goals. A relaxer wasn't going to allow me (in particular) to get to WL and beyond. The longer it got while relaxed, the thinner it got, no matter how much I trimmed. So, for me, I have learned to embrace my kinky, wavy hair, but it took time to mentally "transition" and to do so with the hair. Once you're used to wearing and maintaining straight hair for 20+ years, it takes time to get out of that mindset and routine.

 

[jennboo]

This thread had made me so sad. Just because black people wear their hair strait, we're brain washed? White people and other nationalities also do this. Are they also brain washed? This site is supposed to be free from this mentality. It just makes no kind of sense.

So...this thread has made you sad...but you feel no type of way about the fact that black folks have been made to not feel comfortable in their own natural skin/hair?

Well, in that case... that thread about anti perspirant on scalp has made me sad, about folks not getting jobs because ignant white AND black folks have something against our look make me sad, folks scared to grow their hair out of their own heads make me sad, 5 year old little girls with permed and picked out hair bc their mommas wanted to throw a chemical up in their heads make me sad... etc etc etc.

Note: This is all in the context of hair. I know someone will come up in here and say that all of this hair talk is inconsequential when genocides and extreme poverty are occurring all over the world. This is TRUE. I completely agree. But that is not what is being discussed in this thread.

 

[JuiceMobsta]

So what did you mean by the first quote? Help me because I am a tad bit confused.

In the first quote I was referring to how if "most" blacks like the way straight hair looks over their natural hair then it may be an ongoing cycle extending from the past.

In the second quote I was saying that it is not anything wrong with an individual wearing their hair straight, its just that when the majority of blacks do this, it seems to stem from something that started in the past and is still ongoing.

 

[Americka]

In the first quote I was referring to how if "most" blacks like the way straight hair looks over their natural hair then it may be an ongoing cycle extending from the past.

In the second quote I was saying that it is not anything wrong with an individual wearing their hair straight, its just that when the majority of blacks do this, it seems to stem from something that started in the past and is still ongoing.

Thanks for that explanation!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

No one is necessarily "brainwashed", but white people and other nationalities natural hair is usually widely accepted. Can we say the same for our hair?? Our natural hair is still not widely accepted(although it has improved over the years) and has not been for some time and that is atleast part of the reason why bw prefer straight hair.

For me it isn't like that. It's easier for me to maintain. I really think that black women should learn to stop caring so much on how other nationalities view them and do what makes them happy. Why is it only the black woman who has to be ashamed for preferring strait hairstyles just because we have natural curly hair? Other nationalities don't give it a second thought. They just flat iron and keep it moving.

 

[dynamic1]

Many prefer straight hair by default. Was it really a choice for many children? Some adults have never worn their hair in its natural state. They never learned how to care for it in its natural state.

If highly textured hair was representative of the dominant culture, would 75% of black women wear relaxers, presses and weaves? Do you think many women would continue to discourage others from “going natural” or ridicule them when they do?

Approximately 65% of the world has curly hair. Other cultures learned to run from their ethnicity as well. Hair is the easiest ways to accomplish this goal.

I liked wearing my hair straight and I still like the way it looked today. While I was relaxed, I never had a problem acknowledging the history of my preference. I was able to discuss it without being offended or heated. I cannot say the process of straightening my hair originated from love and acceptance of my natural hair.

I still think it is ok to wear my hair straight even though I have not tried it for several years. To the people obviously offended by the discussion, do you believe most black women think it is ok to wear their hair in its natural texture?

Congratulations to the women with a preference for straight hair, yet still exempt from the social conditioning; you are exceptional.

 

[dancinstallion]

Some of y'all are way too serious about hair! All of the history of slavery, and inferiority, etc........

It's getting so old.
Maybe most blacks prefer straight hair because they like the way it looks.

The more I watch shows on tv the more I like it. It's called brain washing. Commercials do it all the time with food, clothes or anything they are trying to sell. The more you see it then the more likely you are to buy it or do it. It is proven. So the more I keep seeing long hair the more I want to obtain it. Just so happens the long hair is always straight maybe that is the problem. You never see very long kinky hair walking around the neighborhood or on TV. I don't. I see it on this hair board and you tube but not locally.

yeah it does get old, but seriously how many post do you read here daily, about how someones mother or grandmother are telling new naturals how bad their hair looks and how they need a relaxer, and how no man or job is going to want them because of their hair. And I know growing up allot of black girls got asked about their wide noses, kinky hair, and blah blah blah. As an adult you see this as ignorance, but as a child it is damaging and you do grow to hate that feature about yourself. Some people realize that there was/is nothing wrong with them, and some people never get over the damage

It is really getting old, hopefully the new generations can let kinky and black be free. I know when I adopt my children and they ask "mom why isn't my hair or my skin, or est like this, I'm going to say because you are not white. Why don't they look like you? Your hair is beautiful and you are beautiful"

The old becomes new everytime someone tells their kids that. So It will never die as long as people keep the tradition up of telling others what to do with their hair. I have cousins in their 20's that continue to tell me to relax my hair and why do I want to walk around like that. So it lives on.

My husband keeps telling me "You are not white so stop trying to grow your hair long and keep it straight" It is so funny because you said the same thing.

Red bolded: That's it, point blank period.

If we were the dominant race who had colonized, ruled, and oppressed european cultures at the time with our kinky hair and dark skin, kinky hair and dark skin would be the ideal. Since it happened the other way, we subscribe to the white skin/straighter hair ideal even though it is impossible for us to attain that.
Black folks idolizing straight hair and light skin is not a coincidence. It has jack to do with ease of styling, manageability and any of the other reasons thrown around.

I agree But I do think ease of styling does play a role. It is easier to not comb your hair when it straight and still look presentable. You can pull it back into a pony tail. But when your hair is kinky/curly then you have to comb it to pull it in a pony tail or put a product on it to lay it down. Not every natural/culy haired person can do a wash and go and it looks presentable. I know I couldn't.

Its not just blacks that prefer straight hair, its whites, asians, hispanics, etc. I think its a universal thing. Even Caucasians with naturally curly hair alter their hair by blow drying and flat ironing for a sleeker straighter look

I beleive it is embedded in them also to want straight hair. Asians/indians have complexion issues too because there are dark skinned indians that get treated inferior.

 

[justicefighter1913]

Yes, girl we're ALL brainwashed. You aint know?

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OT, but if you all haven't read the new book called "Brainwashed" by Tom Burrell you SHOULD!!!! The book is extremely informative and might be able to shed some light on the historical remnants of brainwashing that we still suffer from today. He specifically looks at the world of advertising and how it has been used to sell the negative image of AA to both non-AA and AA. He's a former advertising executive, the first AA to have a major advertising firm. A very interesing read.

**Back to your regularly scheduled program**

 

[PearlyCurly]

Some of y'all are way too serious about hair!

All of the history of slavery, and inferiority, etc........

It's getting so old.

Maybe most blacks prefer straight hair because they like the way it looks.

It is getting very old
These threads are on some kind of a cycle, like every week or two weeks this same thread comes up.
My question is.. Why are these women always worrying about how someone else wears their hair? I know this is a hair forum but i thought this hair forum was made to embrace our BLACK hair whether we wear it straight, curly, afro, or bald
Im tired of these stories, about how all women who wear their hair straight hates their self and their own race. Blah, Blah, Blah! Since when can a hair style tell if you hate your self or not?
What if theres a black women who wears a big ol' afro, but is secretly trying to re-enslave black folks? I guess yall will give her a pass because she is a natural huh? Whats that saying? "Devil in disguise"?!
I guess because i am texlaxed i must half way hate myself
....
God forbid i might leave the relaxer on an extra minute or two..

 

[*CherryPie*]

So...this thread has made you sad...but you feel no type of way about the fact that black folks have been made to not feel comfortable in their own natural skin/hair?

Well, in that case... that thread about anti perspirant on scalp has made me sad, about folks not getting jobs because ignant white AND black folks have something against our look make me sad, folks scared to grow their hair out of their own heads make me sad, 5 year old little girls with permed and picked out hair bc their mommas wanted to throw a chemical up in their heads make me sad... etc etc etc.

Note: This is all in the context of hair. I know someone will come up in here and say that all of this hair talk is inconsequential when genocides and extreme poverty are occurring all over the world. This is TRUE. I completely agree. But that is not what is being discussed in this thread.

 

[kismettt]

for me personally. when i was growing up i preferred straight hair because i believed it was prettier. all the girls in my class had long, straight or wavy hair (not kinky like mine). i was adopted by a white family, so everyone in my family had straight/wavy hair. all the images i saw in the media, were of women with straight hair. i wanted straight hair because i thought that was pretty, that's what boys like, and when i had long straight hair everyone fell over themselves asking how i did it/how beautiful it was/"are you mixed???". especially black people.

i was natural for about 2 years (soph & jr year of college, i graduated college this month) i relaxed again because i wasn't taking care of it/didn't know how to take care of it. my hair wasn't growing and i wore the same style daily. i'm relaxed now (texlaxed on my ends). i wear my hair in a wash & go ponytail more often than not. i wear my hair straight every once in a while. mainly because i'm lazy. i'd like to go back to natural but i want to grow my hair out relaxed first because i'm sick of short hair/being shoulder length because i was constantly cutting it to go natural then relaxed & having to chop off all the dead ends because i had no idea what i was doing with my natural hair.


so for me, i straightened my hair because i was constantly receiving the message that straight hair is better. my mom took me to a beauty salon at 6 years old. they slicked my hair straight with gel and put a phony pony on it. they insisted i get a relaxer before 10. my mom had no idea and just believed the black salons because they were "professionals". i received the message that it's okay to burn a child with a chemical so her hair is "pretty". my mom tried to explain to me when i was young that my hair was never going to be like hers, but i didn't believe her because i saw black girls with straight hair like hers.

i think it varies for every black person, environment/upbringing. i'd say mine is a product of environment (raised mostly around whites/non-blacks), having little exposure to blacks (and those that i was exposed to lovedddd straight hair), and media.

 

[JuiceMobsta]

For me it isn't like that. It's easier for me to maintain. I really think that black women should learn to stop caring so much on how other nationalities view them and do what makes them happy. Why is it only the black woman who has to be ashamed for preferring strait hairstyles just because we have natural curly hair? Other nationalities don't give it a second thought. They just flat iron and keep it moving.

Lol, no one said bw have to be ashamed and no one said that it applies to each and every individual. We are talking about bw as a WHOLE. We tend to alter our texture the most. Whether permanently or not.

 

[CheLala13]

Right, it just happens to be a coincidence that the texture that is most preferred, 99% of African descent people don't have. I understand people wanting to have straight hair, but don't act like it was all your idea one day and that other people haven't influenced your decision.

 

[nikolite]

For me it isn't like that. It's easier for me to maintain. I really think that black women should learn to stop caring so much on how other nationalities view them and do what makes them happy. Why is it only the black woman who has to be ashamed for preferring strait hairstyles just because we have natural curly hair? Other nationalities don't give it a second thought. They just flat iron and keep it moving.

I'm confused. Other races have straight hair already. Are you talking about bone straight versus lightly wavy? In that case, I don't think it matters. No one else prefers straight hair, they are preferring their OWN hair, which makes sense. Black people who have completely different hair not preferring their own hair EN MASSE is weird IMO.

I don't see curly/wavy haired white, Latino, Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. women wearing relaxers to make sure that their hair is bone straight at all times. They could wear relaxers and never have to flat iron but they don't. (they'd have to have it in for maybe 30 seconds but still). They flat-iron sometimes, not all the time. They don't run from water when it rains or sprint inside the house after swimming. They may wear it as a style occasionally or for a few months (as I and many other naturals do) but they typically do not alter their hair for decades at a time like many black women do.

Relaxed hair may be easier for you to maintain, but many literally think they are ugly the way they were created. (They don't think about why they think they are ugly). Some black women are afraid of their own texture. They rather be caught dead than have their SO's see their napps. Just because our texture isn't managed in the same way as someone else's doesn't make it "unmanageable" as many say, its just that we have to manage it differently. I've never heard of any of these reasons from women of other races. They largely alter their hair out of a style choice (and it appears that way because its temporary and they can walk out the house the way they are without feeling ugly).

 

[jennboo]

Many prefer straight hair by default. Was it really a choice for many children? Some adults have never worn their hair in its natural state. They never learned how to care for it in its natural state.

If highly textured hair was representative of the dominant culture, would 75% of black women wear relaxers, presses and weaves? Do you think many women would continue to discourage others from “going natural” or ridicule them when they do?

Approximately 65% of the world has curly hair. Other cultures learned to run from their ethnicity as well. Hair is the easiest ways to accomplish this goal.

I liked wearing my hair straight and I still like the way it looked today. While I was relaxed, I never had a problem acknowledging the history of my preference. I was able to discuss it without being offended or heated. I cannot say the process of straightening my hair originated from love and acceptance of my natural hair.

I still think it is ok to wear my hair straight even though I have not tried it for several years. To the people obviously offended by the discussion, do you believe most black women think it is ok to wear their hair in its natural texture?

Congratulations to the women with a preference for straight hair, yet still exempt from the social conditioning; you are exceptional.

Bolded: Exactly. I have so much respect for women who are able to essentially say "Well, i wear my hair straight, I'm non-apologetic about it, I'm going to continue to wear it straight...but i'm not delusional, I KNOW where the preference stems from". So much respect. To me, relaxed heads with that mentality are truly comfortable with their decision, and i cannot knock that...at all.

 

[nikolite]

Bolded: Exactly. I have so much respect for women who are able to essentially say "Well, i wear my hair straight, I'm non-apologetic about it, I'm going to continue to wear it straight...but i'm not delusional, I KNOW where the preference stems from". So much respect. To me, relaxed heads with that mentality are truly comfortable with their decision, and i cannot knock that...at all.

I agree. And I still feel the same way as dynamic1 sometimes, even as a natural, I can't help but see the images of long straight hair and think its absolutely gorgeous and wish it was me. Its rare, but it happens.

Luckily I've learned to take care of my hair and love it for what it is. I flat-ironed once and it became quickly boring and dull to me after a week. My father and hubbie also showed me a lot of praise after my BC and told me I was beautiful all the time, which helps. I understand that many people who BC get nasty, mean comments and its an uphill battle going against the relaxed standard. But at least be aware of your choice and then do you. (When my white friend told me why she constantly dyed her hair blonde, she had no delusions and acknowledged why). There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[dancinstallion]

Question and I am truly curious.. If this is still the effects of colonization, slavery, etc. is it an endless cycle? If not when will it end? In 2050 will we still say black women who have straight hair are effected by brainwashing? My father would always say he went through this, this and this so we wouldn't have to. So is this a discussion we are having so our children won't have to? Because it just seems like this conversation never really changes.

It will continue to be an endless cycle as long as people don't break the chain. It will be everlasting as long as it is still an issue. because hair relaxing is the only thing that has continued for all of these years whether its by chose, versatility, slavery or brainswashing.

This thread had made me so sad. Just because black people wear their hair strait, we're brain washed? White people and other nationalities also do this. Are they also brain washed? This site is supposed to be free from this mentality. It just makes no kind of sense.

Brain washing is alive and well in every nationality. ( I am not saying blacks are brain washed). Tribes in all cultures continue to beleive their tribe is superior and can't marry outside the tribe. Certain things are passed down to children and it contiues on through adulthood. Then that becomes tradition. Alot of muslim women cover their hair which started from being oppressed by men. It is a tradition for them and are considered taboos when you don't cover your hair. Some black people in america feel it is taboo not to relax. You can no longer oppress black people in any other way, But when you mention hair then we get sensitive. We have a complex about hair. (I know I do).

For me it isn't like that. It's easier for me to maintain. I really think that black women should learn to stop caring so much on how other nationalities view them and do what makes them happy. Why is it only the black woman who has to be ashamed for preferring strait hairstyles just because we have natural curly hair? Other nationalities don't give it a second thought. They just flat iron and keep it moving.

I totally agree. Other nationalities keep it moving and don't dare break the chain and stop doing what tradion has always done. And they don't give it a second thought. YT people do dye their hair blonde and keep it moving, EVEN though they are trying to assimalte with the BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYED mentality That blondes is better and have more fun type.

 

[dynamic1]

It IS only hair.

Folks are doing those things that you mentioned for HEALTHY LONG HAIR. That doesn't mean that there's some deeper meaning attatched to it.

By the same token, this is only a discussion about hair! Why attach a deeper meaning to it?

 

[dancinstallion]

Ginx We posted at the same time about yt women dyeing their hair blonde.

I agree. And I still feel the same way as dynamic1 sometimes, even as a natural, I can't help but see the images of long straight hair and think its absolutely gorgeous and wish it was me. Its rare, but it happens.

Luckily I've learned to take care of my hair and love it for what it is. I flat-ironed once and it became quickly boring and dull to me after a week. My father and hubbie also showed me a lot of praise after my BC and told me I was beautiful all the time, which helps. I understand that many people who BC get nasty, mean comments and its an uphill battle going against the relaxed standard. But at least be aware of your choice and then do you. (When my white friend told me why she constantly dyed her hair blonde, she had no delusions and acknowledged why). There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I don't prefer straight hair and seems I look funny with bone straight hair on my Full face LOL!! I have been Natural & Relaxed, Now I am Texturized and still have kinky hair, but I do understand what Jennboo is saying, but for me, I was raised on Relaxing my hair, and everyone around me done it, so I thought that was what we was suppose to do, or press it weekly or get a Jherri Curl etc. I use to think, why do i have to get this done to my head, when others can just wash n go? but I was a child then, so most if not all kids don't have a choice when it comes to their hair. then they don't teach them how to care for it, my daughters friend had beautiful Natural hair that came to her waist, and she was a 4a, her mom grew tired of it and relaxed it, and didn't care for it and now she is neck length and it is thin and has been that way for the last 4 years.

I Like both Natural & Relaxed Hair!

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black. Being proud of who you are goes deeper than your style or hair choices. If it was as simple as that then we can all wear kente clothes and rock fros singing black power and thats it. No more hate discussions...but its not that simple.

Why do light skinned women or mixed women get persieved as less than by the power to the black people type?????INSECURITY!!!

To me it all stems from insecurity. The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals.

Also what about the texlaxed ladies?? Are they only half as self hating as the bone laxed individuals?

 

[lushcoils]

Wonders if the question was, "Why do so many blacks find their natural hair unattractive?" ...would people still say things like, "...It has nothing to do with slavery, colonization, social conditioning, the media, etc... It's not about history people..it's just hair..." ?

 

[nikolite]

Ginx We posted at the same time about yt women dyeing their hair blonde.

LOL :blush3:

 

[Southernbella.]

When I was relaxed, I preferred straight hair because I thought everyone was supposed to have it. Relaxing was a ritual in my family and I really had no concept of natural hair.

Now that I am natural, I prefer straight hair sometimes because I like the feeling of my hair blowing and falling down my back. People respond very positively towards it, and sometimes that feels good. Sometimes it makes me feel bad. It really depends on the day.

I'm very conscious of what these choices mean and where the desire comes from (for me). Long, flowing hair gives one a lot of cultural capital in the black community. Being able to attain something that is virtually unattainable for the majority of us propels a black woman to a different status. It makes you stand out, while at the same time rendering you less different. It puts you on the same level as every other long-haired woman of any race.

I acknowledge all that, for me. When I'm at that point, I straighten, and I enjoy it until wash day. Then I enjoy my kinks for what they are and what they mean to me.

 

[nikolite]

It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black. Being proud of who you are goes deeper than your style or hair choices. If it was as simple as that then we can all wear kente clothes and rock fros singing black power and thats it. No more hate discussions...but its not that simple.

Why do light skinned women or mixed women get persieved as less than by the power to the black people type?????INSECURITY!!!

To me it all stems from insecurity. The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals.

Also what about the texlaxed ladies?? Are they only half as self hating as the bone laxed individuals?

I don't think walking out of the house the way I was naturally made is me trying to prove to someone that I am black. It sure does show it (obviously), but what's wrong with that? Its kind of sad that that's somehow a revolutionary and extreme thing for black woman to do to some people.

Do you think a woman who hides under a hat when she needs a touch-up is "proud" of her hair? So can a person who has bleached their skin, relaxed their hair, wearing blue eye contacts, and has gotten surgery on their nose to look long and thin also be proud to be black?

I think you actually can be proud to be black and relaxed, but not acknowledging why you are doing it doesn't look like pride to me. It looks like shame.

And why does wearing ones hair natural show insecurity to you? That makes no sense to me. What exactly would I be insecure about? I still have brown skin and the "black experience." I also don't see any bashing being done in this thread or a lot of others. I'm not sure where you're coming from...

To the bolded, what does that have to do with this discussion?

ETA: Oops, I broke the jinx.

 

[JuiceMobsta]

It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black. Being proud of who you are goes deeper than your style or hair choices. If it was as simple as that then we can all wear kente clothes and rock fros singing black power and thats it. No more hate discussions...but its not that simple.

Why do light skinned women or mixed women get persieved as less than by the power to the black people type?????INSECURITY!!!

To me it all stems from insecurity. The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals.

Also what about the texlaxed ladies?? Are they only half as self hating as the bone laxed individuals?

I'm pretty sure this is not a relaxed vs. natural thread.

Being proud of who you are may go deeper than that but it starts at the surface(i.e. your appearance)

 

[Sianna]

Personally, I never preferred straight hair. For years I relaxed my hair out of habit, because I didn't know what else to do with it, and because I felt I was "supposed" to do it. I had never really considered anything else and if I had, I would have assumed that my own natural texture would be too difficult to manage and that the only styles I would be able to wear were an afro, a puff or dreads.

Really though, I have always liked textured hair, and not necessarily curly. I really like how natural hair looks when it is blown out. You know, when the hair is stretched out, yet you can still see the texture and it is not bone straight. I love big, fluffy hair!

My ideal hair will be at least APL, highly textured, (possibly lightly texlaxed) fluffy, and HUGE!!

 

[dynamic1]

It seems like its more about proving your blackness than anything else. I dont have to bc and wear a fro to say I'm proud to be black. Being proud of who you are goes deeper than your style or hair choices. If it was as simple as that then we can all wear kente clothes and rock fros singing black power and thats it. No more hate discussions...but its not that simple.

Why do light skinned women or mixed women get persieved as less than by the power to the black people type?????INSECURITY!!!

To me it all stems from insecurity. The naturals that wanna bash relaxed heads and the relaxed heads that wanna bash naturals.

Also what about the texlaxed ladies?? Are they only half as self hating as the bone laxed individuals?

Where did all of this come from? Why is discussing the history of black women and straight hair equivalent to bashing? Where did posters say "you aren't a proud black woman" if you wear straight hair? Black power... .

 

[Gigi-07]

When are we going to stop feeling like we have to answer for everything we do?
I rarely hear white women having to explain why they like boob jobs so much.