"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"

[nikolite]

My response is in blue below.

answers to the bolded:

No, being natural doesnt prove anything to me but; trying to make others feel bad for their preference is insecure. I feel like your trying to say well I'm more proud of myself than you because I'm natural and you're a self hating relaxer.

I never once said i was more proud of myself or anything nearly like that really. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I think you are getting defensive about your decisions because you are not secure in the reasons behind why you make them.

To say that the majority of black women prefer straight hair because of some social conditioning that stems from slavery, we're all being brainwashed to believe the hype of straight hair...It stems from some type of insecurity you have within yourself and what you believe being black means.

No, it stems from an open assessment of reality and basic logic. I still don't see how insecurity would even fit here. Insecurity means you are unsure and unstable about how you feel about yourself and low self-esteem is involved. Are you implying that black people do prefer straight hair, and that's because its simply beautiful and better than kinky hair, and so I'm being insecure about my nappy locs and the fact that nobody likes them? I don't think that's what you're saying, but that's the only sense I can make from you associating insecurity with the posts of the naturals here.

When you have an inkling or taste for some new Strawberry Pepsi out of the blue, do you think you just prefer the taste of this nutritionally-devoid, man-made drink or that advertising has something to do with it? (Silly example, I know, but just think about it)

I do think some black women hate themselves and they deal with it in different ways. Some go to the far left of trying to "look white" others go on the far right of trying to be as black as they can. All to hide their insecurities (doing something for others instead of yourself for acceptance into a group.) Neither of those examples are the majority of black women.

What? Naturals aren't putting kinky perms in their hair to be more black or putting ink on their skin to look blacker. They are simply being them (whether that's them as a 4C or a 3A). How is that "trying" to be black? I agree that neither of those examples are the majority, but the latter is extraordinarily rare!

You want us all to acknowledge that we have some deeper meaning behind why we staighten our hair and for some they do. There are examples in this thread alone of that but others dont.

I didnt grow up in that type of environment. I didnt know the seed was soo deep within some of us until I came on this and other pradominately black hair forums. Maybe I'm the exception and if so I agree with ddtexlaxed its sad....

Those are the pangs of learning. I didn't know a lot either before I was natural. Like others stated, I permed for years because I thought I was supposed to and I wanted long, silky hair that would make everyone's eyes glow. It wasn't my preference, but I preferred it at the time because everyone else did. No one's trying to make you feel bad, I think its all sad too. Relax all you want but just be aware there are deeper meanings behind lots of things. You can ignore them, but that don't mean they aren't there.

 

[nikolite]

NO ONE's ignoring that plenty of black women relax out of self-hate. I can't believe I even have to SAY this, on a forum where we all KNOW that we ALL read about this issue constantly.

So then what are you disagreeing with us about?

 

[kmn1980]

"it's only hair" yes, yes...the default response, when all else fails.

(despite paying money to post on a hair board to get tips on how to treat the hair, considering putting anti-perspirant on your scalp to keep from having your hair revert to its natural state, pandemonium about wearing you natch hair at job interviews, siggies dedicated to hair journeys/progress pics/in depth regimens, etc.)

L.M.B.A.O. Not to mention vaj cream.

Let me just say that I enjoy the ETHER stylings of JennBoo.

Carry on...

 

[jennboo]

So...this thread has made you sad...but you feel no type of way about the fact that black folks have been made to not feel comfortable in their own natural skin/hair?

Well, in that case... that thread about anti perspirant on scalp has made me sad, about folks not getting jobs because ignant white AND black folks have something against our look make me sad, folks scared to grow their hair out of their own heads make me sad, 5 year old little girls with permed and picked out hair bc their mommas wanted to throw a chemical up in their heads make me sad... etc etc etc.

I know in my case, I find it hard to handle short natural hair because it makes me more masculine looking. My shape and build just does not support the short natural look. HOWEVER, it may not be that way for all. I've been called Sir too many times than I care for. I would ideally love to have long natural hair, but I prefer strait hair because I know how good it looks on me. I have never had long natural hair. I still feel that a lot of people enjoy the freedom of choice. Why should we be looked down upon for preferring strait hair? I don't worry about what others do with their hair or their child's hair. It's not my place to judge them. 400 Years Without a Comb does not apply to everybody.

I totally appreciate and respect the candor in your post. These types of discussions will naturally ignite strong, emotionally charged responses because folks feel like they are being personally attacked for a choice that they have entertained, and see nothing wrong with, for years. I get that.

However, it is just curious to me how a legion of women can go about doing this to their hair and not acknowledge where the practice comes from. As i stated in a previous post, if you rock straight hair, fine! rock it! It is of no consequence to me if you do or not! However, when threads like these are made, i actually enjoy participating in them and will continue to do so, likely with an opinion that stands in direct opposition to a lot of the posters here. I'm fine with that. Just because my opinion makes folks uncomfortable does'nt mean i will stop espousing my beliefs. If folks were truly comfortable with their decision to relax, they wouldnt put forth half-behind arguments to defend their decision, nor would they become irate or belligerent at the notion that maybe their choice stems from a volatile and ugly place. They would remove themselves emotionally for a bit and attempt to think about it logically.

 

[RedVelvet310]

Me too!

More from whites though. I usually get the "...it would be so long and pretty if you permed it though..." from blacks afterwards.

I usually get from blacks.. "is that your hair? .... is it natural? .... DON'T PERM IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHATEVER YOU DO TO IT DO-NOT-RELAX-YOUR-HAIR"

 

[Bella_Atl]

ROTFLAMO!

 

[Junebug D]

you know what i just realized?

new thread. new day. same discussion.

it really seems like these threads that are popping up are putting so many people in the hot seat... "why are you relaxed?" "if you're natural and you straighten...are you natural?" People are having to defend their right to do whatever they gosh darn please with their hair.

seriously...can we go back to discussing products and hair retention methods? this forum is beginning to get super-divided...and i don't remember it being so heated when i first started lurking 5 yrs ago....I almost feel silly for even participating in these debates.

ok rant over... **flips straightened hair and exits thread**

And these threads never go anywhere... but to thread heaven.

 

[nikolite]

I know in my case, I find it hard to handle short natural hair because it makes me more masculine looking. My shape and build just does not support the short natural look. HOWEVER, it may not be that way for all. I've been called Sir too many times than I care for. I would ideally love to have long natural hair, but I prefer strait hair because I know how good it looks on me. I have never had long natural hair. I still feel that a lot of people enjoy the freedom of choice. Why should we be looked down upon for preferring strait hair? I don't worry about what others do with their hair or their child's hair. It's not my place to judge them. 400 Years Without a Comb does not apply to everybody.

And I think most of us get that. But we're simply pointing out that if you were in a different culture and society, let's say, a remote ethnic group in central Africa, no one would mistake you as a man, nor would you feel your body type doesn't compliment your natural hair. I lived in South Africa for some time, and plenty of black women walked around with mini fros and clean-shaven heads and not one black man mistook them for a man. Social norms in a predominately-white country that used to enslave and debase your ancestors with naturally kinky hair are what may make someone call you "sir". No one looks down on you for that, or for wanting to accepted and look pretty by their standards. But to some extent these are THEIR standards that cause this (WASP's). From what I can see in your avatar, you're beautiful the way you are and if you want to wear your hair straight, fine. But know that you don't HAVE to to be beautiful. You may choose to, but you don't have to.

 

[jem_mcmillan]

When I was younger, I loved straight hair. It was easier to maintain. Then I learned how to properly care for my hair. That changed my view and I have been natural for over 10 years.

I think it also has to do with the time period. I am 40 and when I was growing up hair care consisted of perms and the hot comb. There was no material out about how to care for your hair naturally.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

as I look around IRL and on LHCF not "MANY" prefer straight hair. there are more naturals then relaxed, and most of the relaxed haeds where w&g's and braidouts. (me included)

 

[kmn1980]

Question and I am truly curious.. If this is still the effects of colonization, slavery, etc. is it an endless cycle?

Basically it's up to each and every Black person to instill pride into the young lives they touch, be it their children, nephews, nieces, etc... Drop the denial. Drop the delusion. Accept the truth and move forward from there. Just like the so-called Jews tell their kids to "never forget" the Holocaust generation after generation, that's what we need to be doing with our children.

That's when it will end.

That said....it will never end.

 

[jada1111]

Please don't shoot at me. Just curious.


Have you ever heard a YT woman say that they prefer kinky textured hair? I ask because I was talking to one of my YT best friends earlier today about the subject. She asked me why so many blacks prefer straight hair (we're extremely close so we talk about everything under the sun, in other words I took no offense). Is it because "they are able to achieve it" and if they couldn't, like YT people can't achieve kinky hair, "would they still prefer it?" What are your thoughts? I never thought about it before and don't have an opinion just yet. I do personally prefer straight hair (so obviously that's not why I went natural). But would we prefer it if we couldn't achieve it?

No bickering please (and if you don't like this post then please don't comment)

I think it's from trying to adapt to what the host country (AMERIKA) considers beautiful and trying to fit in with that form of it. Also being told by your female relatives how ugly and nappy your hair is for generations on end could be a problem as well.

I'm sorry, but I will never forget how that girl on ANTM was having a fit crying, because the world was gonna see her without her WEAVE! I was stunned and angry with her simple arse, because FOR ME I always saw weaves as a STYLING OPTION not as MY ONLY OPTION.

This is when I knew how ingrained the hate of afro hair truly was within the culture. Then add Mary J. Blige's admission when Tyra asked her if there was anything in the world could she have what would it be, Mary said LONG INDIAN WAVY HAIR. I mean she said this on national TV without a batting an eyelash.

Nothing is wrong with wearing straight hair, weaves or wigs, but when your main reason for doing it is because you hate your god given locks, then that's when it's a problem to ME. It will take another two generations for this mindset to be completely obliterated (I hope).

 

[kizzylonghair]

I know why I have straight hair.....I WAS NOT RAISED TO HAVE ANYTHING ELSE..
Growing up I would watch the females in my family go through relaxers, weaves, single extension anything to hide their nappies
Luckily my mum was not as bad as others and relax me at 2 years but I had my juice perm at 13, I wanted it but my mother wanted it even more after YEARS of cornrows, that proceeded to me wanting a relaxer, but instead of growing it out it was slapped on top. MY HAIR DIDNT STAND A CHANCE
Then the long hair obsession started, but how would I know any better The glues tracks started and sew in tracks, killing my hair to ensure it matched the weave.

I WAS NEVER TAUGHT HOW TO LOOK AT MY NATURAL HAIR PROPER, OR MORE IMPORTANTLY TO ACCEPT IT AND WHO I WAS, IT REALLY MAKES ME SAD

Its nice to see some of there ladies who were around back then sporting some natural styles now, hopefully inspiring other little girls that they have a CHOICE

 

[DDTexlaxed]

as I look around IRL and on LHCF not "MANY" prefer straight hair. there are more naturals then relaxed, and most of the relaxed haeds where w&g's and braidouts. (me included)

Thank you, my friend!lachen:

 

[healthyhair2]

I don't know that now so many of us really do PREFER straight hair, so much so rather it is easier to deal with. Many Black women can't even remember what their natural texture is like! I'm not downing them for that , it has just been how we operated for so many years. I think this is changing.Personally I am transitioning and can't wait to have a healthy, long, lioness mane of hair!!! Cause ya' know what?? EVERYONE secretly thinks it's SEXAY ESpecially Me!

 

[*CherryPie*]

I hardly EVER see naturals here, in Chicago.....and this is a big city.

as I look around IRL and on LHCF not "MANY" prefer straight hair. there are more naturals then relaxed, and most of the relaxed haeds where w&g's and braidouts. (me included)

 

[healthyhair2]

I hardly EVER see naturals here, in Chicago.....and this is a big city.

Come to BROOKLYN !!!! My siggy pic needs to be changed , I'm Transitioning.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I'm not natural. I'm relaxed.

But it's gotta be great to see a variety of hair types IRL.

Come to BROOKLYN !!!! My siggy pic needs to be changed , I'm Transitioning.

 

[CocoGlow]

Ok from what I've read thus far, the Black women that prefer straight hair over their natural texture stated the following reasons:

*Straight hair is more manageable
*Straight hair looks better w/ my facial features, frames my face
*Straight hair swings in the wind
*Straight hair makes me feel sexy
*Straight hair will give me the length I want
*I don't look good w/ short hair

I honestly believe that UNAWARENESS and FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN plays a big part in the above responses in addition to societal pressure to have straight hair and of course, hatred of the napp to the point of not even realizing/acknowledging it passed down through generations post-colonization (this has thoroughly & accurately been addressed in this thread, so I don't have much to add to this issue)

ON PREFERENCE FOR STRAIGHT HAIR FOR MANAGEABILITY:
Think about it...if every Black woman around you has a relaxer and knows how to manage relaxed hair, then it becomes "normal" and "manageable" and "easy" to you ... if you came from a planet where no one had a relaxer, you would be scurred (lol) & confused about how to "manage" those chemicals properly, manage your new-growth properly, how to style your hair, which products to use, what not to do to prevent breakage, etc...

Now if you were on a planet surrounded by Black women who rock their natural hair and know how to manage it, then it too would become "normal" and "manageable" and "easy" to you and you would "somehow just know" how to comb it properly, style it, the right products, etc .. everywhere you look in your neighborhood, in Black salons, in ESSENCE mag (lol) there would be a plethora of images of women w/ YOUR texture in fabulous styles and everyone would know how to manage natural hair and not look to a chemical for manageability (btw I feel like we are slowly getting to a point where naturals are discovering regimens that work with our hair and not against it, so this fantasy may become reality soon - maybe not)

ON PREFERENCE FOR STRAIGHT HAIR FOR LENGTH/SEXINESS/SUITING FACIAL FEATURES ,ETC:
If your preference is LONG hair to go with your facial features, why does it have to be relaxed? What about long natural hair? The versatility of styles are endless...you don't have to be stuck wearing an afro or puff....if you want your hair to hang DOWN & face framing, then just manipulate it to do so (twists, braids, twist-out/braid-out, etc, etc ,etc) ... I feel like there is more to it

I feel like those who feel "sexier" or feel they look "better" with straight hair feel that way b/c that's all they know ... you ladies have skillfully mastered gorgeous straight styles and it shows...you are more confident in them b/c you know you look fly and b/c you grew up learning how to master the Doobie-Wrap or the Dominican Blow-Out you may actually look "better" wearing that style ... You may have managed to get the infamous, gorgeous, sleek Aaliyah look down pact, BUT had you taken the same amount of time to master natural styles and grew up learning how to skillfully master these styles, and found ones that suit your round, rectangle, oval, square, triangle, etc face perfectly, you would look just as "sexy" & might feel you look "better" in them or just as good ....

Of course you are going to feel that you look "better" w/ a successful straight style than an unsuccessful natural style or a natural style that does not suit your features! If you love long hair and have a relaxer, you would avoid the short Halle Berry cut just as much as you would avoid the short natural TWA ...
LONG does not automatically = relaxed, SEXY does not automatically = relaxed .. it's about changing your mindset and opening up yourself to the many possibilities of natural hair ..

I think a lot of people have limited views of it (ex afro puff) and think that if they don't look good w/ that particular natural style, then they cannot be beautiful & natural at the same time .. or they have the messed up view that if they don't have 3C texture, then they can't be natural & beautiful at the same time (but that's another issue)

 

[CocoGlow]

Come to BROOKLYN !!!! My siggy pic needs to be changed , I'm Transitioning.

YES Brooklyn does have a large natural community and it's great to see all the fros, twists, locs & funky colorful mohawks, creative cornrows, etc ... however relaxers & weaves are still waay more popular amongst Black women in NYC (and the planet) overall ... and I'm in world famous "Black" Harlem

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Because naps arent the new black yet

 

[GeauXavi]

Ok from what I've read thus far, the Black women that prefer straight hair over their natural texture stated the following reasons:

*Straight hair is more manageable
*Straight hair looks better w/ my facial features, frames my face
*Straight hair swings in the wind
*Straight hair makes me feel sexy
*Straight hair will give me the length I want
*I don't look good w/ short hair

I honestly believe that UNAWARENESS and FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN plays a big part in the above responses in addition to societal pressure to have straight hair and of course, hatred of the napp to the point of not even realizing/acknowledging it passed down through generations post-colonization (this has thoroughly & accurately been addressed in this thread, so I don't have much to add to this issue)

ON PREFERENCE FOR STRAIGHT HAIR FOR MANAGEABILITY:
Think about it...if every Black woman around you has a relaxer and knows how to manage relaxed hair, then it becomes "normal" and "manageable" and "easy" to you ... if you came from a planet where no one had a relaxer, you would be scurred (lol) & confused about how to "manage" those chemicals properly, manage your new-growth properly, how to style your hair, which products to use, what not to do to prevent breakage, etc...

Now if you were on a planet surrounded by Black women who rock their natural hair and know how to manage it, then it too would become "normal" and "manageable" and "easy" to you and you would "somehow just know" how to comb it properly, style it, the right products, etc .. everywhere you look in your neighborhood, in Black salons, in ESSENCE mag (lol) there would be a plethora of images of women w/ YOUR texture in fabulous styles and everyone would know how to manage natural hair and not look to a chemical for manageability (btw I feel like we are slowly getting to a point where naturals are discovering regimens that work with our hair and not against it, so this fantasy may become reality soon - maybe not)

ON PREFERENCE FOR STRAIGHT HAIR FOR LENGTH/SEXINESS/SUITING FACIAL FEATURES ,ETC:
If your preference is LONG hair to go with your facial features, why does it have to be relaxed? What about long natural hair? The versatility of styles are endless...you don't have to be stuck wearing an afro or puff....if you want your hair to hang DOWN & face framing, then just manipulate it to do so (twists, braids, twist-out/braid-out, etc, etc ,etc) ... I feel like there is more to it

I feel like those who feel "sexier" or feel they look "better" with straight hair feel that way b/c that's all they know ... you ladies have skillfully mastered gorgeous straight styles and it shows...you are more confident in them b/c you know you look fly and b/c you grew up learning how to master the Doobie-Wrap or the Dominican Blow-Out you may actually look "better" wearing that style ... You may have managed to get the infamous, gorgeous, sleek Aaliyah look down pact, BUT had you taken the same amount of time to master natural styles and grew up learning how to skillfully master these styles, and found ones that suit your round, rectangle, oval, square, triangle, etc face perfectly, you would look just as "sexy" & might feel you look "better" in them or just as good ....

Of course you are going to feel that you look "better" w/ a successful straight style than an unsuccessful natural style or a natural style that does not suit your features! If you love long hair and have a relaxer, you would avoid the short Halle Berry cut just as much as you would avoid the short natural TWA ...
LONG does not automatically = relaxed, SEXY does not automatically = relaxed .. it's about changing your mindset and opening up yourself to the many possibilities of natural hair ..

I think a lot of people have limited views of it (ex afro puff) and think that if they don't look good w/ that particular natural style, then they cannot be beautiful & natural at the same time .. or they have the messed up view that if they don't have 3C texture, then they can't be natural & beautiful at the same time (but that's another issue)

Since I assume that you are specifically responding to MY response with the bottom bolded...

A. Please do not assume that you know my stance about relaxed hair and natural hair. As I stated, I have been natural and I am currently transitioning. I big chopped after 2 months of transitioning last time, and only relaxed (after 10 months) because I got extensive heat damage, and did not want to start over.

with that being said...when i was natural...i always wore my hair curly. you can look at my album if you wish. It was my first time pressing when i suffered damage, and i was devastated.

B. I'm transitioning long term so that i will have long NATURAL hair, vs short hair (in any state). In the mean time...while my hair is SHORT, I will be wearing styles that stretch my length and frame MY face. Never did i say that relaxed=sexy...if I felt that way, I wouldnt be transitioning. please re-read my original post if you are mistaken.

 

[kmn1980]

My final comments (cuz I can no longer take the denial that ironically proves the original assertion of the effects of colonization):

A) Notice how many people in this thread are saying, "well white folks do it too..." It proves the point that even today, we still define our behavior and measure the MEANING and WORTH of who we are and what we do against white folk's standards.

White people do it, so it MUST be okay. No need for inflection and reflection. No need to examine why someone told you (by word or deed) that something was wrong with what God put on your head when you were 4 or 5 and to this day you are still holding on to that.

Nope.

White people do it too so it can't be that bad.

See how that works?

It's funny how in the thread on the CNN experiment where the Black kids said that the darkest girl on the drawing was bad, unintelligent, not likable, etc... everyone was ready, willing and able to admit that the psychological effects of slavery are still very real facets of Black life all over the diaspora. But when it comes to this, the $hit magically changes into "personal choice". Skin color given by God. Hair texture given by God. Where is the disconnect?

B) R.O.T.M.F.F.L.M.B.A.O. at the people who act like natural people waged war on relaxed heads (ie. Natural Nazi). Now, I remember being 8 being laughed at for my "pelo malo" by the relaxed heads. I remember being in 7th grade and the girl with a relaxer, no edges and no nape laughing at me because of my "kitchen". I remember a girl in my class when I taught Kinder crying about two other girls who laughed at her for having "nappy" hair. I remember a parent, who was mad that I sent her child to the principal's office, calling me a "nappy-headed wench" (in front of her over-processed child). In 29 years and 2 countries of residence, I don't ever recall a natural head initiating a hair-bashing session with a relaxed head.

C) Do what you do. But when someone asks you to reflect on the meaning and symbolism of your actions, don't pull 50-11 excuses out of your a$$ about how your new growth at 2 weeks post is so unruly that your chosen method is the only way to go.

 

[healthyhair2]

Speaking from my own personal experiences, I think I just didn't know how to style natural hair like I did straight hair so I preferred straight growing up. I also had no idea about haircare natural, relaxed, whatever.

I'm learning every day now about hair and debunking myths. Like when I spoke with my Chinese friend who explained to me that not all Asians have straight hair. The look on my face was like . Her sister and mom have wavy hair. She then went on to explain to me that she knows a lot of Asian women who faithfully get their Japanese style straightener every six months.

I actually did know not all Asians have straight hair. Also, one of my BFF's is Japanese and a hairdresser. She says that alot of Asians come to her to get perms that look like an Afro.
I live in a predominately Chinese part of Brooklyn and alot of them like a crimped, teased hairstyle or Curly perms.

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

My response is in blue below.

No you never said that you were more proud of being black but you implied it by saying that all relaxed heads are conditioned to want relaxed hair because of social conditioning, slavery, etc....We are in essence doing it because we want to be white. Thats the jist of what you are saying right?

I keep saying it stems from insecurity because whenever someone tries to push their views and beliefs onto someone elses decisions without trying to see the other persons point of view it shows lack of self acceptance in my opinion. When you accept yourself you know that there will be differing views and you accept them because you are secure within yourself and dont need to have everyone agree with or validate you.

In your example you talk about wanting pepsi. Well I wouldnt think about the nutritional value of the pepsi or what commercial I saw that said...drink pepsi. I would think dang I want some pepsi because I like the taste of it. I hate mountain dew and no matter how many commercials I see I will always hate mountain dew because its flavor isnt appetising. The same way pantene commercials didnt make me want to relax my long chin did. Nothing more nothing less.

When I say others go on the far right of trying to be blacker than... I automatically think of the 5% in NY. YOu know the ones that are in manhattan screaming their beliefs to a crowd of people through a loud speaker. They want everyone to be a certain way; think a certain way; live a certain way because thats whats right. I'm not talking about kinky hair I'm talking more about attitude.

I honestly have no distain for any style choice. See I believe its honestly just a style choice. Theres no deeper meaning behind it. Thats whats so baffling to me. We're sitting here talking about straight hair as if we are trying to please massa when I just dont think its that deep. For those that think its that deep. You need to look within yourself for the answers to why??? Once again its hair its just not that important to most. Slavery was an issue a looooonnnnngggg time ago. For the most part it doesnt effect my day to day life or my decisions about what I do with my hair.

By the way I love natural hair on people that can carry it. I loved my texture it was managable soft and fluffy but it made me look like Jay Leno.

 

[dynamic1]

I keep saying it stems from insecurity because whenever someone tries to push their views and beliefs onto someone elses decisions without trying to see the other persons point of view it shows lack of self acceptance in my opinion. When you accept yourself you know that there will be differing views and you accept them because you are secure within yourself and dont need to have everyone agree with or validate you.

It works both ways. Your post do not seem accepting of other people's views on the preference for straight hair (ETA: putting words in the mouths of others is not acceptance). Does this indicate you are insecure about your choice as well?

 

[healthyhair2]

I'm not natural. I'm relaxed.

But it's gotta be great to see a variety of hair types IRL.

Yep, Thursday I was in Manhattan and LOVED seeing all the sisters with all types of natral do's! Chicago will change, I know it's still the Midwest. When I go down South to see family , not alot of naturals there either. But the brothas do a double take at the few gorgeous natrals they see

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

My final comments (cuz I can no longer take the denial that ironically proves the original assertion of the effects of colonization):

A) Notice how many people in this thread are saying, "well white folks do it too..." It proves the point that even today, we still define our behavior and measure the MEANING and WORTH of who we are and what we do against white folk's standards.

White people do it, so it MUST be okay. No need for inflection and reflection. No need to examine why someone told you (by word or deed) that something was wrong with what God put on your head when you were 4 or 5 and to this day you are still holding on to that.

Nope.

White people do it too so it can't be that bad.

See how that works?

It's funny how in the thread on the CNN experiment where the Black kids said that the darkest girl on the drawing was bad, unintelligent, not likable, etc... everyone was ready, willing and able to admit that the psychological effects of slavery are still very real facets of Black life all over the diaspora. But when it comes to this, the $hit magically changes into "personal choice". Skin color given by God. Hair texture given by God. Where is the disconnect?

B) R.O.T.M.F.F.L.M.B.A.O. at the people who act like natural people waged war on relaxed heads (ie. Natural Nazi). Now, I remember being 8 being laughed at for my "pelo malo" by the relaxed heads. I remember being in 7th grade and the girl with a relaxer, no edges and no nape laughing at me because of my "kitchen". I remember a girl in my class when I taught Kinder crying about two other girls who laughed at her for having "nappy" hair. I remember a parent, who was mad that I sent her child to the principal's office, calling me a "nappy-headed wench" (in front of her over-processed child). In 29 years and 2 countries of residence, I don't ever recall a natural head initiating a hair-bashing session with a relaxed head.

C) Do what you do. But when someone asks you to reflect on the meaning and symbolism of your actions, don't pull 50-11 excuses out of your a$$ about how your new growth at 2 weeks post is so unruly that your chosen method is the only way to go.

This never ceases to amaze me....

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Personally, I like both straight and curly. I find that I have to wear my hair up when curly though, b/c it sits on my shoulders and I want to avoid fraying the ends. I also find that detanlging is a lot more traumaic on wash day b/c all my shed hairs have been trapped by my curls/coils. When I want to wear it down (to show off my length), I straighten. It's as simle as that. I think I've let go of a lot of those old beleifs about my hair in the recent years (you'd know this is true esp. b/c I walk around with all my natural type hair showing all about the edges and through). I figure a lot of people see me and shake their heads (like why doesn't she comb that hair?), but I like my bumpy, lumpy, big, textured hair more and more as it grows bigger and bigger.

As for the main question of the thread, I think many people feel "dressed up" or more "pulled together" when their hair is straighter. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION ON THE SUBJECT AT HAND. I do not read into the psychlogical reasons and whys of why people wear their hair one way or the other, not my job or concern.

 

[healthyhair2]

YES Brooklyn does have a large natural community and it's great to see all the fros, twists, locs & funky colorful mohawks, creative cornrows, etc ... however relaxers & weaves are still waay more popular amongst Black women in NYC (and the planet) overall ... and I'm in world famous "Black" Harlem

Yep, I know what you mean, but ther's enough natral hair to keep me satisfied!!! I keep going back to kinky hair for a reason. I think it can be much more versatile and for me it is healthier this way. I admire the beautiful relaxed heads too, but that will not be me.