nikolite
Well-Known Member
My response is in blue below.
answers to the bolded:
No, being natural doesnt prove anything to me but; trying to make others feel bad for their preference is insecure. I feel like your trying to say well I'm more proud of myself than you because I'm natural and you're a self hating relaxer.
I never once said i was more proud of myself or anything nearly like that really. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I think you are getting defensive about your decisions because you are not secure in the reasons behind why you make them.
To say that the majority of black women prefer straight hair because of some social conditioning that stems from slavery, we're all being brainwashed to believe the hype of straight hair...It stems from some type of insecurity you have within yourself and what you believe being black means.
No, it stems from an open assessment of reality and basic logic. I still don't see how insecurity would even fit here. Insecurity means you are unsure and unstable about how you feel about yourself and low self-esteem is involved. Are you implying that black people do prefer straight hair, and that's because its simply beautiful and better than kinky hair, and so I'm being insecure about my nappy locs and the fact that nobody likes them? I don't think that's what you're saying, but that's the only sense I can make from you associating insecurity with the posts of the naturals here.
When you have an inkling or taste for some new Strawberry Pepsi out of the blue, do you think you just prefer the taste of this nutritionally-devoid, man-made drink or that advertising has something to do with it? (Silly example, I know, but just think about it)
I do think some black women hate themselves and they deal with it in different ways. Some go to the far left of trying to "look white" others go on the far right of trying to be as black as they can. All to hide their insecurities (doing something for others instead of yourself for acceptance into a group.) Neither of those examples are the majority of black women.
What? Naturals aren't putting kinky perms in their hair to be more black or putting ink on their skin to look blacker. They are simply being them (whether that's them as a 4C or a 3A). How is that "trying" to be black? I agree that neither of those examples are the majority, but the latter is extraordinarily rare!
You want us all to acknowledge that we have some deeper meaning behind why we staighten our hair and for some they do. There are examples in this thread alone of that but others dont.
I didnt grow up in that type of environment. I didnt know the seed was soo deep within some of us until I came on this and other pradominately black hair forums. Maybe I'm the exception and if so I agree with ddtexlaxed its sad....
Those are the pangs of learning. I didn't know a lot either before I was natural. Like others stated, I permed for years because I thought I was supposed to and I wanted long, silky hair that would make everyone's eyes glow. It wasn't my preference, but I preferred it at the time because everyone else did. No one's trying to make you feel bad, I think its all sad too. Relax all you want but just be aware there are deeper meanings behind lots of things. You can ignore them, but that don't mean they aren't there.