WHO should I you choose?

[intergalacticartist]

ATM, I do earn more than him..(and I don't earn much ) and sometimes he says ish like ''I wouldn't mind looking after the kids while you go to work.'' He even went onto say ''you can work up until you're 7months pregnant, and then go back to work a few months after you give birth.'' I was in shock I want to be able to relax and not care about bills when I'm 7 months pregnant

I understand what you guys are saying BUT I don't think I'll meet a guy who drives me crazy, and ticks every other box. Sometimes, I think in life you need to compromise.

But some of you ladies are saying no? lol... Hmm well I've met guys who were very attractive & had good money but they were douche bags who were so arrogant.

Is wah di rasssssss is dis?

LMAO

This made me laugh hard. OP is this the kind of life you want? I don't believe in settling. At all. You shouldn't go with this guy because you think he's the best you can get. You can find someone to fulfill all your needs

But, he really said that though?

It's not even about the money to me. It's just that, what is he going to do with his life? Follow behind you all day? He doesn't have any goals and ambitions? He sounds like he's looking for a meal ticket

This reminds me of that episode of Girlfriends when that guy Mya was dating got mad because he found out she was a secretary and not a lawyer

@kweenameena - lol, yh I thought that was a red-flag too, but he treats me like gold (most days) and he has always been honest with me about his financial status.. and early on in our relationship sent me this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiJogU6aqTA&feature=related

The thing is, I know people who have given a real chance to a broke guy who they loved, and are left heart broken with kids. If I'm going to take a risk on a guy who is poor, I want to at least be certain he'll always treat me good. I'm not sure of that... I feel he's still trying to put his ''best'' face on for me. IDK, I'm so confused/lost and you guys are telling me to forget them both

That'll be hard because I genuinely think they're both nice and would like to be in a committed relationship with one of them, I'm just trying to weigh up my options and take the better risk.

ETA Yes I've only been with Guy A.. and let me just say

Of course he has to be good, he doesn't have anything else to offer

I'm sorry, but this would be SUCH a turn-off to me.....

I'm not asking for a guy to be a millionaire or anything like that, but when you can't even take care of your BASIC necessities (ie. the electricity @ your place, your CAR, etc...) then that just makes me lose a lot of respect for the man.

Most men aren't comfortable living so "broke"......

Is there a reason why he's so broke? Did he lose his job? Is he paying off college tuition? Is he still in SCHOOL? Is he supporting his immediate family? What is it?? If a guy has a GOOD reason for being so broke, then I can probably have a little understanding.

But if he's broke "just because".....then no boo....we're not going to work out.

Like other ladies have mentioned, that is a RED flag. Not only that, but it gives me the impression that he doesn't have much ambition to better his situation in life, and THAT in itself is a turn OFF! I Dated someone like that before, and trust me....it was not a good look...

Right!

I really don't get how there is a choice between the two.

I mean, Guy A is broke as hell, there really isn't any other option but to treat you well and blow your back out, that is all he is working with. To settle for him means you are perfectly fine with his brokeness and as his woman he will expect you to support him. Heck yeah he wants to lock you down and I don't necessary mean to mooch off of you but it will affirm to him that even though he is broke he can still get a woman. I have been there and the " "I am broke speech but I love you" gets old and I found myself losing respect for him as a man.

Guy B, he has a more going for him but if the chemistry is not there, you can give it shot just a little while longer or move on.

Exactly!


Girl, you need to fun from this guy and figure out if you can find some chemistry with Guy B. If not you need to find someone you're more compatible with

 

[Lucille]

I was rooting for Guy A, because I didn't want to assume that he was a bum. Maybe he just came upon hard times and can't get on his feet right now, right?

But then the fact that you feel he's putting on a show to fool you, AND the whole "I'll watch the kids while you're at work/you can work up until you're about to pop out a baby and THEN go right back to work after having it" was a huge red flag.

This tells me that he has NO intention of even trying to find a job. IDK, but something about what he said indicates that he has the potential to turn into a kang.

I can just imagine it now:

Him asking to move in with you, you agreeing because he's fine and can lay the pipe. Meanwhile (while you're at work) he's home, playing Gears of War, not even attempting to clean the house or look for a job. And when you confront him with the past due gas bill, he'll just turn on the charm, be extra nice, rub his peen all up on your thigh like "Girl, you know I take care of you in other ways. Let me take care of you, like you know I can..." *waggles eyebrows* and you'll giggle and cave once again.

Yeah, maybe my imagine is going crazy right now... but what if it isn't? Do you really wanna test my theory? I say go with Guy B. It feels like you're not giving him a fair chance because you're so emotionally invested in Guy A. B has all the qualities of A, with the added bonus of money, education and no suspicious behavior.

tiffers - Your imagination is crazy gurl

But Yh I totally agree with you.

The last time we went out on a date... he paid 80% of it and looked at me and said can you please pay the rest, I don't want to break my other note. Then.. because we were too broke to do anything else, he took me to an alleyway to get freaky, while we waited for the bus. I like him an all, and I know times are hard right now but that's now how I envisioned my life to be.

ETA I did not allow that alleyway business to go ahead.. all we did was kiss, so get your minds outta the sewer!!

 

[tiffers]

tiffers - Your imagination is crazy gurl

But Yh I totally agree with you.

The last time we went out on a date... he paid 80% of it and looked at me and said can you please pay the rest, I don't want to break my other note. Then.. because we were too broke to do anything else, he took me to an alleyway to get freaky, while we waited for the bus. I like him an all, and I know times are hard right now but that's now how I envisioned my life to be.

ETA I did not allow that alleyway business to go ahead.. all we did was kiss, so get your minds outta the sewer!!

Words can't describe how hard I'm laughing right now.

 

[Bublin]

I know you have chosen guy B but I would like to know why Guy A is so broke....i mean, what's going on with him?

 

[Lucille]

I know you have chosen guy B but I would like to know why Guy A is so broke....i mean, what's going on with him?

@Bublin - I was trying to avoid talking about this.. but it's popped about a few times now, so I might as well address it.

He has a criminal record and spent 4yrs in jail. BUT... a VERY BIG BUT (because I know Ya'll are judging him already lol) He HAS changed his way, and he is trying to have an honest living but he's finding it hard to get/keep a job.

He NEVER asks me for money but I can tell the brother is starving. Part of me just wants to stay with him and love him to death. But I know that's not practical... I don't think I can be that ride & die chick... just for some d!ck.

ETA - I have a feeling that if I had a baby for him.. or once he's certain he's got me, he wouldn't be this nice. I duno, it's just a sixth sense feeling I have. He tries too ''hard'' to convince me he's a nice guy, and it can come across as fake....

 

[Bublin]

^^^^I'm very very glad you chose Guy B. Now please stay away from Guy A because all he has left is his good looks....

 

[tinkat]

@Bublin - I was trying to avoid talking about this.. but it's popped about a few times now, so I might as well address it.

He has a criminal record and spent 4yrs in jail. BUT... a VERY BIG BUT (because I know Ya'll are judging him already lol) He HAS changed his way, and he is trying to have an honest living but he's finding it hard to get/keep a job.

He NEVER asks me for money but I can tell the brother is starving. Part of me just wants to stay with him and love him to death. But I know that's not practical... I don't think I can be that ride & die chick... just for some d!ck.

ETA - I have a feeling that if I had a baby for him.. or once he's certain he's got me, he wouldn't be this nice. I duno, it's just a sixth sense feeling I have. He tries too ''hard'' to convince me he's a nice guy, and it can come across as fake....

I think you already know what is probably best. But honestly he may be a nice person but its more than just being a nice person. Its about values and someone being on the same wavelength as you. I have been guilty of looking too much at potential, when you look too much at potential, you end up fantasizing about how it COULD be. Then when reality sinks in you may end up being in too deep and start rationalizing his ways and what he is trying to do.

I wouldn't go for the other guy either if I have to force myself to really like him. Chemistry is not everything though but if you are trying to make yourself like him more then no I would not do it.

 

[Charz]

If he's as goodlooking as you say, imagine how good he looked to the inmates

#justsayin'

 

[intergalacticartist]

tiffers - Your imagination is crazy gurl

But Yh I totally agree with you.

The last time we went out on a date... he paid 80% of it and looked at me and said can you please pay the rest, I don't want to break my other note. Then.. because we were too broke to do anything else, he took me to an alleyway to get freaky, while we waited for the bus. I like him an all, and I know times are hard right now but that's now how I envisioned my life to be.

ETA I did not allow that alleyway business to go ahead.. all we did was kiss, so get your minds outta the sewer!!

LMAO
OMG this killed me.

@Bublin - I was trying to avoid talking about this.. but it's popped about a few times now, so I might as well address it.

He has a criminal record and spent 4yrs in jail. BUT... a VERY BIG BUT (because I know Ya'll are judging him already lol) He HAS changed his way, and he is trying to have an honest living but he's finding it hard to get/keep a job.

He NEVER asks me for money but I can tell the brother is starving. Part of me just wants to stay with him and love him to death. But I know that's not practical... I don't think I can be that ride & die chick... just for some d!ck.

ETA - I have a feeling that if I had a baby for him.. or once he's certain he's got me, he wouldn't be this nice. I duno, it's just a sixth sense feeling I have. He tries too ''hard'' to convince me he's a nice guy, and it can come across as fake....

Girl, just don't fall for he okie doke

 

[meesch]

girl you cannot leave out key variables like going to jail that tends to be a dealbreaker.

eta: girl! you slept with the jailbird but not the dude with a good job! wth!

 

[lux10023]

hold up. so what....yall was on da phone and his lectricity just went out in mid conversation? damn. where they do that at? man i tell ya...no respect....anywho

the dyck must be like dat cuz i'd be pissed if a broke man tried to holla with no car. so picture it. no car, no lights, and it's cold as shyt outside. what da phuck... don't tell nobody else u phuckin a broke man who has no lectricity and no car, but has some good dyck, ok pooka? cuz see, u'll be quang status then...bless yo heart chile...

 

[kweenameena]

@kweenameena - lol, yh I thought that was a red-flag too, but he treats me like gold (most days) and he has always been honest with me about his financial status.. and early on in our relationship sent me this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiJogU6aqTA&feature=related

The thing is, I know people who have given a real chance to a broke guy who they loved, and are left heart broken with kids. If I'm going to take a risk on a guy who is poor, I want to at least be certain he'll always treat me good. I'm not sure of that... I feel he's still trying to put his ''best'' face on for me. IDK, I'm so confused/lost and you guys are telling me to forget them both

That'll be hard because I genuinely think they're both nice and would like to be in a committed relationship with one of them, I'm just trying to weigh up my options and take the better risk.

ETA Yes I've only been with Guy A.. and let me just say

Oh no. I had a feeling that guy A had dyckmatized you....that's usually what the broke ones are good at. And I'm not judging you because I've been there done that. I'll just say that when you look back on this situation you will wonder what the heck you were thinking. I mean everyone has that one.
But having learned from being stuck on good peen....stability is always way more sexy than the biggest most delicious peen out there.

 

[SelahOco]

girl you cannot leave out key variables like going to jail that tends to be a dealbreaker.

eta: girl! you slept with the jailbird but not the dude with a good job! wth!

She's known the broke dude for 5 months, the new dude has only been around for a month or so. Lol. At your outrage!!

 

[Charz]

eta: girl! you slept with the jailbird but not the dude with a good job! wth!

Yet we have women who look down on women like Marlo.

 

[meesch]

She's known the broke dude for 5 months, the new dude has only been around for a month or so. Lol. At your outrage!!

oh. i gotta start reading these threads more closely

 

[tinkat]

Oh no. I had a feeling that guy A had dyckmatized you....that's usually what the broke ones are good at. And I'm not judging you because I've been there done that. I'll just say that when you look back on this situation you will wonder what the heck you were thinking. I mean everyone has that one.
But having learned from being stuck on good peen....stability is always way more sexy than the biggest most delicious peen out there.

ITA with the whole post. Sex will definitely cloud judgement but we have all been there.

Now that information is slowly unfolding, of course you like guy A better, you have known him longer and the blinders on very bright now that yall have been intimate. I bet if you met both guys at the same time and did not have sex with either one, Guy B would have been wayyyyy more attractive.

I don't know much about Guy B, but he seems way more available and stable right now while Guy A is not available(even though he want to be in a relationship) or stable.

 

[RocStar]

tiffers - Your imagination is crazy gurl

But Yh I totally agree with you.

The last time we went out on a date... he paid 80% of it and looked at me and said can you please pay the rest, I don't want to break my other note. Then.. because we were too broke to do anything else, he took me to an alleyway to get freaky, while we waited for the bus. I like him an all, and I know times are hard right now but that's now how I envisioned my life to be.

ETA I did not allow that alleyway business to go ahead.. all we did was kiss, so get your minds outta the sewer!!

I am being serious here...

What you typed, and called a date, is totally unacceptable and I guess you really are in too deep.

So he didn't want to break a bill and that is why he only paid 80%? I would of told him, sorry the smallest bill I have is a $5 and I don't want to break that. That is not being broke, that is being cheap. He should have just had a bread and water and then be able to pay for all of your meal. Fo real.

And then after dinner he said he was too broke to do anything other than trying to reenact a bad porno movie scene in an ally? And then get on the bus? And I am assuming you paid for the bus?

This ain't got nothing to do with him being broke (or cheap)...this is his lifestyle, his mentality and you should not accept it.

I don't know how old you are, but print out this thread and re-read it in 5 years. You will not be able to believe it.

 

[TCatt86]

THANK YOU Ladies

I was stuck on stuuuuuuuuupid and my girlfriends IRL were telling me I should be with the one I ''love'' more, and that's what matters more. Also Guy A is always telling me that girls don't give him a chance because he's so broke, and he's amazed that I've stuck beside him... lollll. I can tell he tries so hard to lock me down, and it's getting too mucn to be honest. Yeah he's sexy as hell to me, but sexy does not pay the bill, and looks don't last forever

So after reading all the responses, and giving it more thought I've decided to Give Guy B a chance because he's cute, imo but there's just no umph... I'll see how that goes.

I'm sorry how old are you and your friends??

Ain't no way in hell I would tell my friend to be serious with a dude who is getting his car repossessed and and his electricity cut off.

Girl they are trying to get with Guy B. Watch them.

 

[TCatt86]

She's known the broke dude for 5 months, the new dude has only been around for a month or so. Lol. At your outrage!!

I mean it's better to give up the cutty to a well paid man quick than give it up to a jailbird after 5 months. At least in my mind.

 

[Windsy]

I vote Guy C

 

[Theo]

Lucille is this another one of your joke threads?

Cuz you cannot be serious

 

[anon123]

wait, guy A has no car, sitting at home in the dark, and was in jail for 4 years? girrrl . . .

 

[Charz]

I mean it's better to give up the cutty to a well paid man quick than give it up to a jailbird after 5 months. At least in my mind.

my mind too.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Plus you've admitted you feel his "nice guy" routine is just an act. I cn believe he's on the straight and narrow and has no intention of returning to a life of crime. It just looks like he intends to lockdown a woman who will take care of him.

 

[Raspberry]

This thread has me dyin..

I'm sorry how old are you and your friends??

Ain't no way in hell I would tell my friend to be serious with a dude who is getting his car repossessed and and his electricity cut off.

Girl they are trying to get with Guy B. Watch them.

Right.

 

[CandiceC]

wait, guy A has no car, sitting at home in the dark, and was in jail for 4 years? girrrl . . .

 

[CandiceC]

Plus you've admitted you feel his "nice guy" routine is just an act. I cn believe he's on the straight and narrow and has no intention of returning to a life of crime. It just looks like he intends to lockdown a woman who will take care of him.

I agree.

 

[Avyn]

This is a joke. Lucille (*cough*chocolate) is not for real! If this is real I vote for guy c, d, e, or f. There are not only 2 men in the world to choose from. You DO have more options. Didn't you say you were habesha? You shld know better. I wish I cld access the spankin smiley.

 

[Lucille]

**** UPDATE ****

I wanted to break off my relationship with Guy A amicably but it didn't go as planned.

Here's a snippet of how our convo went via BB

Him: baby I cant wait 4 u to meet my family nxt weekend. (sister's name) is relli excitd 2 meet yuu

Me: Listen you know I've got mad love for you

*pause*

Me: What I'm trying to say baby is... I don't think I'll be able to meet your family.

Him: Y wots changd?

Me: I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can explain that to you. Please, understand I still love you.

Him: pik up

(He tries to call me but I don't pick up)

Me: I can't pick up, sorry

Him: Y are u doin dis 2 me?

Me: It's not you, it's me. I'm just at that stage in my life where I can't commit.

Him: den ill wait 4 u

Me: No, you need to let me go.

Him: i noticed uve been actin differently with me. Plz tell me wots changed.. u can b hunest with me

*pause*

Me: Fine I'll be honest. I don't think you can provide for me.. I need a man who can provide.

Him: WOT

Me: Please, don't get mad... I'm just being honest! Like you asked for.

Him: y did u pretend u wernt a money hungry h0e wen we 1st met

Me: Excuse me?

Him: Yuu heard me.. Yu shulda told me b4 u cared bout only money

Me: I don't care JUST about money. But I need a man who can afford to keep the house lights on all the time.

Him: So ur goin 2 throw that in my face now.

Me: Well I didn't appreciate you calling me a h0e

Him: i call it how i see it..

Him: Yuu H0E

Me: That's fine by me. At least you made breaking up with you easier. Before I block you.. let me just tell you, I've seen dwarfs with a bigger d!ck than you.

**BLOCKED**

 

[Daeuiel]

It never goes amicably. They always respond like that when you dump them, no matter what the reason. Let him go find someone else to mooch off.