idk what i should do!

[runwaydream]

i told one of my ex's about the situation and you guys said. he's in the same situation right now, and he doesnt think i should take things further... reason being he thinks i will either be unhappy or ill try to change him into who i want him to be. that makes a lot of sense, and if that happens things between me and this guy wont work anyway


i feel so bad because its been like almost 3 days and i still didnt say anything to him. i keep going back and forth and readin what you guys are saying and then what my ex said. all of ya'll r making a lot of sense.

well, another thing that i didnt mention and might change some of your opinions is the fact that its a big possibility that im going to be moving back to tallahassee, which is 4 hrs away from where i live now. im applying to this program and if i get in which i most likely will i'll be leaving in the fall. i just took on a second job to help save up to move over there so i wont have much time to see him anyway. and im not really into long distance relationships. so i kno im not gonna be able to keep it up if i start now anyway... do you guys think i should start something w. him now to keep me company til i move?

 

[Much2much41]

i told one of my ex's about the situation and you guys said. he's in the same situation right now, and he doesnt think i should take things further... reason being he thinks i will either be unhappy or ill try to change him into who i want him to be. that makes a lot of sense, and if that happens things between me and this guy wont work anyway


i feel so bad because its been like almost 3 days and i still didnt say anything to him. i keep going back and forth and readin what you guys are saying and then what my ex said. all of ya'll r making a lot of sense.

well, another thing that i didnt mention and might change some of your opinions is the fact that its a big possibility that im going to be moving back to tallahassee, which is 4 hrs away from where i live now. im applying to this program and if i get in which i most likely will i'll be leaving in the fall. i just took on a second job to help save up to move over there so i wont have much time to see him anyway. and im not really into long distance relationships. so i kno im not gonna be able to keep it up if i start now anyway... do you guys think i should start something w. him now to keep me company til i move?

Just tell him no thanks. Stop leaving him hanging. He doesn't deserve that, and he doesn't deserve to be a "pity" date. Just let it go.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

Just tell him no thanks. Stop leaving him hanging. He doesn't deserve that, and he doesn't deserve to be a "pity" date. Just let it go.

yeah let him go and find a good woman for him.

good luck.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Just tell him no thanks. Stop leaving him hanging. He doesn't deserve that, and he doesn't deserve to be a "pity" date. Just let it go.

I third that. A man of his caliber does not deserve to be strung along. Like I said in my other post, if you don't want him or don't know what to do with him, FREE him so he can be with a woman who does.

 

[SleepyJean]

It seems like you're settling. If he is too good, let him go.

 

[Precious_1]

I have yet to meet a bad@$$ that was worth anything when it was all said and done. You can try to tame a hellcat if you want to, he's still going to be a wild animal at his core, and eventually, they tend to turn on you. You have a nice guy in front of you, why not give him a REAL chance? Focus on what he IS, not on what he ISN'T.

Girl you better tell it....OP honey, listen to what you are saying BAD ASS, you dont want that, trust me on that. Whether you decide to date him or not a bad ass is not the type of man you want to marry.

 

[aqualung]

ok. so there's this guy that i met a little while ago. we've hung out a couple of times and he's really sweet. sent me flowers for my birthday, remembered when i said i wanted the "across the universe" soundtrack and bought it for me. bought me a book to this movie i really liked. and he's an attractive black man, doing something with his life, well spoken and we like alot of the same things. but now he's telling me he REALLY likes me a lot and from our last date i can tell he wants to take it to the next level. here's the thing tho... he's just too... GOOD.

I have one like this.
He got me cultured pearls for v-day.
Please believe that he's not too good for me.
We'll be engaged by year's end, so help me Jesus.

Furthermore, I'm on a deadline.

 

[runwaydream]

UPDATE:

ok so after about 4 days of me giving him no response or even acknowledging what he said (bad i kno but i guess i just panicked) i text him and i apologized for taking so long to write back but i really wanted to think about what he said and not just give him an answer that i might regret. so i told him that i really liked him too and i really enjoyed being around him but as he already knows, im going back to tallahassee in the fall and i also took on a second job so now i wont have as much time to spend with him. i told him when i get into something like this im in it for the long haul. but i dont see how thats possible right now. i also told him that i'm not one for long distance relationships so i didnt want to get into something i kno i wouldnt be able to keep up.

he didnt answer me for awhile but when he did he thanked me for my honesty and asked if i enjoyed myself and wanted to still keep in touch. he thanked me for my company and asked if we had met under different times and circumstances do i think things would have gone differently. i told him there's no doubt in my mind they would have and he shouldnt thank me, im the one who should be thanking him.

so all in all i think things ended well and he wont think black girls just want a thug and start going after becky from now on. (i hear thats why alot of well spoken black males who used to like blk girls start going after white girls)
anyway thank you all for ur help and input, it really helped bouncing my thoughts off of you guys and all of ur opinions really gave me different perspectives on the situation. thanks alot!!