Should Glib Call Him Back?

[NefertariBlu]

Maybe something else is going on in his life other your date. You have to give people a chance to date you. It's not like he stood you up...then tried to call you. He let you know ahead of time that he couldn't make it. AND he wants to reschedule.

As for him being on the phone when you called? Something important could've been happening. Give the man a break. I'd understand you trippin' if he was standing you up or dodging your calls throughout the relationship.

This board will keep you single if you listen...and believe most of the advice on here.

Exactly. He has a life off line and that sometimes gets in the way of things. Give the guy at least a chance. If he messes up then move on. It's simple.

Maybe you should have more dating options so you don't get too frustrated when things like this happens.

 

[gabulldawg]

I actually disagree. I'm finding that dudes live and die by the text. Now, if that's ALL he wants to do is text, we have a problem. (You have to remember that I'm the girl who used to give you her email instead of her phone number I love written communication, but I've come to accept the phone as a necessary evil )

This is how I am/was, so I have no problem with it. dh and I would text alllll the time to set up dates and whatnot.

I think he deserves one more chance.

 

[CandiceC]

I agree about giving him another chance.

Keep us posted!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

We had tentative plans - dinner and a movie. But we hadn't firmed up location or time.

Thanks for the clarification. Good luck with whatever you decide and keep us posted!

 

[FelaShrine]

I don't think you should have texted him in the first place to find out what the plans were but that's just my opinion. He asked you for the date and if he didn't send you any information 2-3 days in advance, I would have assumed there was no date, kept it moving, and deliberately made other plans. Would he have even had the decency to text you if you hadn't texted him? SMDH. Guys can be so shady.

same. agree with everything else as well

Just like VanIThe if you aint fiending, you're not serious

 

[Hairsnob]

I know I'm late but I wouldn't necessarily write him off.... yet. It sounds like he had another option for plans that night and was waiting to see how that went before contacting you. It's bad but it can be fixed if you set him straight now since it's early in the dating game. So if you continue to see him you will just have to nip that in the bud and teach him that you are not so available and you don't play second fiddle.

I don't like the idea of him not answering your text about the plans. That's why I said he was waiting to hear about his other options. But that's okay, don't write him off. Just be a little harder to reach the next time so he won't think you're sitting there waiting.

And as far as texting him or calling him. Let him pursue YOU.

 

[diadall]

I cannot believe I am only one of eight that said give him a chance.

 

[sylver2]

give it one more chance

 

[Glib Gurl]

I know I'm late but I wouldn't necessarily write him off.... yet. It sounds like he had another option for plans that night and was waiting to see how that went before contacting you. It's bad but it can be fixed if you set him straight now since it's early in the dating game. So if you continue to see him you will just have to nip that in the bud and teach him that you are not so available and you don't play second fiddle.

I don't like the idea of him not answering your text about the plans. That's why I said he was waiting to hear about his other options. But that's okay, don't write him off. Just be a little harder to reach the next time so he won't think you're sitting there waiting.

And as far as texting him or calling him. Let him pursue YOU.

THIS!!!!!!

You are summing it up perfectly. That is what I'm feeling right now. He was always very quick to text back before but now all of a sudden it's a problem? Nah, son.

But if he calls me back I would answer the phone.

 

[NappyNelle]

I know this is said often, but try to date multiple men at one time so you're not as concerned about the lukewarm ones that let you down. He didn't set up plans, so you could've been busy on another date without someone you liked more.

 

[Son26]

I don't see anything wrong with texting (I hate talking on the phone).

If it were me ..... I would give him another chance.

 

[miss cosmic]

This board will keep you single if you listen...and believe most of the advice on here.

This right here..

 

[Jmartjrmd]

THIS!!!!!!

You are summing it up perfectly. That is what I'm feeling right now. He was always very quick to text back before but now all of a sudden it's a problem? Nah, son.

But if he calls me back I would answer the phone.

This sounds like a trust/confidence issue.

If you don't trust him already and are not confident that he really wants to get to know you then I don't think it'll be fair to either one of you to continue on.

I don't believe you should give 100% trust in a new relationship but laying down healthy expectations in the beginning is key. Communication is key.
Getting to know someone's patterns/habits goes with the territory.

You may discover that you can't deal with how he is and that's ok but how will you know if he's dismissed after an incident like this and you haven't (or maybe you have) found out he had other motives for his actions.

Cause now everytime he doesn't text you/call you back immediately is that going to make you mad?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Oh wow Glib...this is a tough one! :scratchch

On the one hand, I feel like he should be given a second chance since he HAS been trying to reach you.

But on the OTHER hand.....I kind of agree with Belle_Du_Jour below....

What is bothering me about his story is he didn't give you any advance info about plans for the date. It would be one thing if he had set up the date and you knew what was going on then he texted you the night before and said his boss asked him to work.


I don't think you should have texted him in the first place to find out what the plans were but that's just my opinion. He asked you for the date and if he didn't send you any information 2-3 days in advance, I would have assumed there was no date, kept it moving, and deliberately made other plans. Would he have even had the decency to text you if you hadn't texted him? SMDH. Guys can be so shady.

^^


This is a hard one! I guess bottom line you really have to trust your own instincts. Being TOO inflexible can indeed keep you single. erplexed Afterall, things DO come up. BUTTTT...at the same time, the "work excuse" seems a little fishy to me when men use it. I mean, seriously...when does "work" seem to get in the way when men have tickets to a Basketball game?

IDK.....I think maybe you should give him another chance, but make it a tad difficult to reach you. Let him know that your time is valuable to you and that you would have prefered ample notice (or at least a response to your calls/text messages!) when he knew the date was to be cancelled.

Then...see what he says and does. If he acts up or doesn't respect your time, then cut him OFF for good.

I think if he's REALLY interested in you, he will make it up to you and will do better in the future.

He might still be multi-dating since you said that you met him online.

Idk...make sure to keep a pair and a spare if ykwim...

 

[vmerie]

Texting to cancel is unacceptable. He should have had the decency to call at least. On to the next.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Texting to cancel is unacceptable. He should have had the decency to call at least. On to the next.

^^Good point! I didn't even realize this.

People have become WAY too lax with the "texting" these days. Sometimes people need to have some common DECENCY and manners.

 

[SuchaLady]

This is how I feel and said the same thing like 2 weeks ago. I will never take dating advice from LHCF I hope you give him another chance

Maybe something else is going on in his life other your date. You have to give people a chance to date you. It's not like he stood you up...then tried to call you. He let you know ahead of time that he couldn't make it. AND he wants to reschedule.

As for him being on the phone when you called? Something important could've been happening. Give the man a break. I'd understand you trippin' if he was standing you up or dodging your calls throughout the relationship.

This board will keep you single if you listen...and believe most of the advice on here.

 

[Lenee925]

Glib, go with your instincts. It's a time-tested method to keep someone else on the backburner and cancel with "work" problems when you'd rather go out with someone else. Many of us even have done that plenty of times LOL.

I like what Vanthie said. I would much rather spend my precious time with a man who made sure to contact me "in the gaps". Simple etiquette says a phone call would have been more appropriate. How old is he 17?

Yeah, maybe you'll be the dreaded "single" for a minute longer but at least you won't indicate you're desperate for male attention and waste time with a filler dude when you could be meeting your true match

 

[kismettt]

Glib, go with your instincts. It's a time-tested method to keep someone else on the backburner and cancel with "work" problems when you'd rather go out with someone else. Many of us even have done that plenty of times LOL.

this guy asked me out during the week and i said i had "plans". saturday came & i had nothing going on, so i texted him saying my friend bailed and i was sad

 

[vevster]

Any updates, Glib?

Good luck girl it is ROUGH out there. It almost makes u afraid to like someone all these dopes not acting appropriately.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Any updates, Glib?.

why yes

So in the middle of last week he texted me like "Hey haven't heard from you. Is everything ok?"

Me: Everything's fine

Him: I have to make up for last weekend.

Me: Yes you do!

We've been texting back and forth a bit since then. no phone calls (which is actually fine by me, feeling less enthused about him and he always wants to talk for hours at a time).

Today he texts and says that he has another extended schedule this wknd, but could we go out the following wknd. I said sure....but told him that I may be traveling for work (which is true) but I should be Back by Saturday.

He sent me more texts....he is sorry about last weekend...I am a good woman and worth waiting for

So yeah. He's dating multiple people. But I need to do so also...especially since my enthusiasm level for him has dropped. My BFF said I should treat this like having a job while looking for another one. Sounds good to me.

Oh wow Glib...this is a tough one! :scratchch

On the one hand, I feel like he should be given a second chance since he HAS been trying to reach you.

But on the OTHER hand.....I kind of agree with Belle_Du_Jour below....



^^


This is a hard one! I guess bottom line you really have to trust your own instincts. Being TOO inflexible can indeed keep you single. erplexed Afterall, things DO come up. BUTTTT...at the same time, the "work excuse" seems a little fishy to me when men use it. I mean, seriously...when does "work" seem to get in the way when men have tickets to a Basketball game?

IDK.....I think maybe you should give him another chance, but make it a tad difficult to reach you. Let him know that your time is valuable to you and that you would have prefered ample notice (or at least a response to your calls/text messages!) when he knew the date was to be cancelled.

Then...see what he says and does. If he acts up or doesn't respect your time, then cut him OFF for good.

^^^^This is pretty much how it's going to go down.

I think if he's REALLY interested in you, he will make it up to you and will do better in the future.

He might still be multi-dating since you said that you met him online.

Idk...make sure to keep a pair and a spare if ykwim...