Should I call?

[Bunny77]

I totally understand what you are saying I used to get 50-11 pieces of advice from friends about what I should do in certain situations dealing with guys. I am and was sooooo analytical about relationships that I felt like, maybe I should call or email or text just to see where his head is, before I call it quits.

But, I realized that when a man REALLY wants you, there will be NO questions about it. I am now married and never once did I wait on a phone call, text, email, birthday card, date invitation from my husband. He was always 1 step ahead of me and made is real clear that he wanted me....no games...no "well I called her last" or "I meant to call but I was busy hangin with my boys." My DH is one of the few guys that I never had to get advice from friends about, because there was no questions about his feelings or intent. It was strange because I was so used to calling friends like "OK, so he did this or said that...what do you think he means?" With DH, there was no need for that.

Thanks for this story! Now I have another good dating tip to add to my arsenal! If I have to analyze, question, etc., he most likely is NOT the one!

 

[misspriss]

I'm going through a similar situation minus the MySpace stuff...okay well I guess it's a completely different situation, but still the advice on here was helpful. I didn't call and I deleted his number to remove any temptation (I kept his card though j/c...). Anyway, I think my silence sends the right message at this point in time, and when he does finally call (cause he'd be stupid not to), then I'll play it drama-free...I'll be so happy when I meet Mr. Right and I can stop playing these games...men are seriously giving me a headache.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Are you serious?

Yeah, actually I was serious as to why people are responding...MzShay, no I don't think you should call him...when she already did. That was confusing me!

I guess it's partly a matter of not reading the entire thread before responding. Not really a big deal I'm just wondering why people are still coming into the thread telling her in particular not to call the guy...when she clearly stated she already did???

 

[Cincysweetie]

I'm going through a similar situation minus the MySpace stuff...okay well I guess it's a completely different situation, but still the advice on here was helpful. I didn't call and I deleted his number to remove any temptation (I kept his card though j/c...). Anyway, I think my silence sends the right message at this point in time, and when he does finally call (cause he'd be stupid not to), then I'll play it drama-free...I'll be so happy when I meet Mr. Right and I can stop playing these games...men are seriously giving me a headache.

Your hair is so pretty! Most def. his lost!!!

 

[misspriss]

Duplicate Post

 

[misspriss]

Your hair is so pretty! Most def. his lost!!!

Thanks Cincysweetie

 

[Much2much41]

DISCLAIMER: I know we all can agree to disagree and what works for one may not work for another. I am just sharing another perspective and this isn't a slight to the OP or other perspectives...


...ok...and, ladies, if someone "hear" me, then holla...cause, maybe it's just my own warped sense of reality but...chasing after closure and answers to "what-if" in romantic relationships is really sticky...sometimes you gotta read the signs because in romance, people CHOOSE not to say things that they know will hurt another....they don't tell the tough truths. Also, if someone is feeling you out on their own schedule....trying to mull over how they feel but you are calling talking about, "why didn't you answer?" or "I just wanna know what's up?" then you could quite possibly run them off before anything could blossom. Men and women are the same in that regard...any man calling me wanting to know why I haven't reached out yet would have been terminated from prospect immediately...some folks do not like to be questioned about the manner they choose to express themselves in...it's unattractive and off-putting. Some expectations are understandable, but some, can be alienating. If you aren't feeling how he is responding over time, then give him less time...at that point, he'll either step up his game or disappear and you will know exactly what you need to know....that he adores you or that he's moving on. Truth be told, that's all we need to know...we don't need to know "WHY" someone doesn't like us cause that someone might be a crazy, delusional fool whose assessment of you is sorely lacking.

ITA. I think closure is overrated sometimes. If it's not what you want to hear, there will never be a "good enough answer" as to why someone doesn't want to be with you. When you break up with someone, do you always tell the unvarnished truth? I don't unless I know it won't do unnecessary damage. I tell enough that they know I don't want to be with them anymore and then I'm finished. Also, sometimes people use "needing closure" as a reason to keep holding on. If someone doesn't recognize how lucky they are to have you, move on to someone else who will. I wasted a lot of time wondering why. Now I just say to myself "Why ask why? It won't change the outcome." Like CBC said, there's no man alive that gave up on someone he wanted because the woman missed a phone call.

In this case, I think you've gone above and beyond to let him know where you stand. He sounds immature and a bit shady so if he doesn't reach out with something concrete right away, I say let it go. You deserve someone who's crazy about you, not someone who's content spending so much time "weighing his options".

CBC: Why weren't you around when I was younger?!?

Nothing to add, but these are FANTASTIC posts. Thanks to you both!

 

[Divine Inspiration]

...um...I wouldn't call. He knows your number. If he is feeling you, he will call again. Men don't just give up because you missed one call from them, and, while he may not text, he DOES read AND knows how to contact you via call or email. When a man is interested, one form of technology (the disappearing Friend status) is NOT gonna keep him away.

And I also wouldn't own the "WHY" of his being nonresponsive. It could be any number of things keeping him from being inspired to reach out right now. Men make happen what they wanna make happen WHEN they wanna make it happen. Just be your wonderful charming self and WHEN he does call again don't mention it.

My sentiments exactly. If he wants/wanted you, he would make it happen and there wouldn't be all this confusion this early in the game. The bolded above is on the money; he knows how to be in touch if he wants to and if your impression of him was a priority, he'd managing it.

 

[misskris816]

...um...I wouldn't call. He knows your number. If he is feeling you, he will call again. Men don't just give up because you missed one call from them, and, while he may not text, he DOES read AND knows how to contact you via call or email. When a man is interested, one form of technology (the disappearing Friend status) is NOT gonna keep him away.

And I also wouldn't own the "WHY" of his being nonresponsive. It could be any number of things keeping him from being inspired to reach out right now. Men make happen what they wanna make happen WHEN they wanna make it happen. Just be your wonderful charming self and WHEN he does call again don't mention it.

Amen, sista!

 

[misspriss]

...um...I wouldn't call. He knows your number. If he is feeling you, he will call again. Men don't just give up because you missed one call from them, and, while he may not text, he DOES read AND knows how to contact you via call or email. When a man is interested, one form of technology (the disappearing Friend status) is NOT gonna keep him away.

And I also wouldn't own the "WHY" of his being nonresponsive. It could be any number of things keeping him from being inspired to reach out right now. Men make happen what they wanna make happen WHEN they wanna make it happen. Just be your wonderful charming self and WHEN he does call again don't mention it.

Good advice CBC...I followed it...and yep, that man called yesterday! I could tell he thought I'd trip, and since I didn't I wouldn't be surprised if he stepped his game way up. Men respond so much better when you act like you don't care so much...