When to start back dating?
- Thread starter ocean74
- Start date
My take? When it feels right. There's no time limit to that.
HOWEVER you should be dating because you are healed and have restored a true sense of confidence. You should be dating because you've taken the time to assess what went wrong in the past relationship and how you might have contributed or encouraged the bad behavior (i.e. ignoring signs, accepting bad behavior assuming he would never do it again, letting things go as long as they did).
YOU SHOULD NOT be dating because you're missing a warm body, "because a ladies' got needs" or because you're hoping that by finding someone new you will forget about the old.
I'm so against rebound dating cuz I think it causes people to bring past baggage into future relationships. There's no way a rebound relationship can succeed because it's based on the results of a relationship that has nothing to do with your new partner. And ladies, we are the queens of baggage.
But that doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun. Just be conscious, that you're fun isn't about a new boyfriend but is about YOU and restoring your confidence.
HOWEVER you should be dating because you are healed and have restored a true sense of confidence. You should be dating because you've taken the time to assess what went wrong in the past relationship and how you might have contributed or encouraged the bad behavior (i.e. ignoring signs, accepting bad behavior assuming he would never do it again, letting things go as long as they did).
YOU SHOULD NOT be dating because you're missing a warm body, "because a ladies' got needs" or because you're hoping that by finding someone new you will forget about the old.
I'm so against rebound dating cuz I think it causes people to bring past baggage into future relationships. There's no way a rebound relationship can succeed because it's based on the results of a relationship that has nothing to do with your new partner. And ladies, we are the queens of baggage.
But that doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun. Just be conscious, that you're fun isn't about a new boyfriend but is about YOU and restoring your confidence.
hair_wit_favor
New Member
..................Hi MsNadi...I was with my ex for 7 years, we've been apart 4 months now. But for some reason, I haven't cried
about the break up. I don't know what it is. But thanks for the info.Exactly. I agree with MsNadi.
ladylibra_30
Well-Known Member
great advice and P.O.V
Hi MsNadi...I was with my ex for 7 years, we've been apart 4 months now. But for some reason, I haven't cried
I've got friends who phase one out, and phase one in. Never really been single. Always looking for that next fix. And NONE of their relationships work out - and they have the nerve to be surprised that the mess doesn't work out.
Psssssht! Get off my phone!
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caltron
Well-Known Member
Hi MsNadi...I was with my ex for 7 years, we've been apart 4 months now. But for some reason, I haven't cried
Was your relationship with your ex pretty much peaceful over the 7 years, or were you unhappy the whole time??
I felt the same way when I left my ex. We had been together for 10 years (we had broken up for about 2 years). It was such a tumultuous relationship that when I finally ended it for good, I didn't feel sad. I cried for a few minutes immediately after he gave me his keys to the apartment, but I haven't cried since. I'm more sad that I wasted so much time on a relationship that was doomed to failure from the beginning.
I would probably have been bawling my eyes out if I had had a happy relationship that ended suddenly. I had been unhappy for a long, long time and had seriously considered leaving at many points during the relationship.
Oh, and I started dating about 3 months after I told him it was over. Well, actually, I continued to live with him for 3 months after I told him it was over. Then I went out on my first date the day after he moved out. However, by that time, I was ready to move on, mentally, emotionally, etc..
