I have guy FRIENDS that never let me spend a dime when we go out. IJS.![]()
foolish!!Ey. Chineke God, that is not my portion. God forbid. I am not paying for anything when I'm dating a guy. no no no no. That's just me though.
even if i force him he would never expect me to pay!!I only pay if I force him out his house and he doesn't wanna go out. I have literally shown up at his place and picked out an outfit for him to wear.he'll hand me his car keys like here you go ms. I want lobster.
Two previous relationships no. That got real old, real fast.
and he aint say "no" or "i got this babe"?!WE both pull out our cards and just split it. He was paying our first few dates, then talking to a friend she said it was selfish for me to always have him pay, so a few dates later I offered to pay some of the bill (not like he said no or anything) and it just kept going from there![]()
i dont even offer. only time i pay is if it's his birthday and even then sometimes i use funds he might have given me in the past to payI do not know what it is. Our one year is in May. When SO and I started dating I would let him pay for meals but I would find myself rushing to pay for other activities, like movies are a few drinks. As soon as he would reach for his wallet I would already have mine out. I did not see how annoyed he was until we were picking up an order (around our third or fourth date) and I was going for my wallet and he whispered that he got it and to leave my purse at home. He was so stern I felt like saying "yes sir."
I was so bothered I called my grandmother and she was like he is right. I would have told you you were being foolish and tell him the family reunion is next November lol.
I do not know why I felt the need to pick up the tab. Maybe so the man knows I got this with or without you, but I forget that everyone gets complacent in a relationship so you never set the precedent of something you do not want in the first place. Then he will be like "you changed." "It did not bother you before."
dont that that again no ma'am.That's a great question. I really don't know. Like I said, I've always dated guys that paid and if I did pay it was for something silly and not much money.
I started splitting the bill so it's no ones fault except my own. I'm sure at times it's going to start bothering me, certainly after reading so many great comments on here. I'm a single parent with a son now in college and I'm holding lots of stuff down on my end. He has no kids and not too many expenses like I do. So I'm now starting to think about all of this. Like something just "clicked" for me.
Today is actually his birthday and he's 20 today LMAO. I had him when I was 17. Yes, that's me in the photo.
Well...then...I don't like you..young looking *****.![]()
They say dont start up what you wont keep up. If you plan to keep it up during marriage then I say it makes sense for your relationship. Me? I dont plain on paying on paying out one thin dime aside from gifts, so thats how I act in the beginning![]()
You really need to watch whose advice you take. People can start creating problems where there are none.
Ey. Chineke God, that is not my portion. God forbid. I am not paying for anything when I'm dating a guy. no no no no. That's just me though.
How is it that some people say it's ok to split household bills (even in a marriage ) but it's not ok to split going out (food/entertainment) bills? Personally I don't split neither of the two lol.
I have guy FRIENDS that never let me spend a dime when we go out. IJS.![]()
I've been dating my boyfriend going on a year in April. Whenever we go out to dinner we usually split the bill or one of us will volunteer to pay the entire thing. I hear some people say that after that amount of time together the man should be paying the bill, not splitting it with his girlfriend. I also hear people say there's nothing wrong with splitting the bill.
This is the first relationship I've been in that I've ever split the bill with anyone. I'm curious to see how many women split the bill when you go out or you agree that the man should be paying 100%. We both make the same amount of money annually if that makes a difference.
@Crystalicequeen123
Thanks, yes that’s me and the bf in the siggy
I TOTALLY agree with everyone’s advice on here. At first that’s how we started off for the first few months. That’s when I got the BAD advice from a friend (her thinking it was cliché and gold diggerish to always make him pay if I was thinking of being in a long term relationship with this man). Mind you, this is the first real relationship that lasted this long for me, so I must admit I was a little dusty in the do’s/don’t of dating. So that’s when I offered to pay half when we went out and it just kept going. After reading the comments I totally understand what everyone is saying. Prior to him I’ve always dated men that paid 100% for everything. The guy that I’m with now we always talk about marriage and having a child together (I’ve never wanted another child nor did I ever want to get married until meeting him). So I’ve been naive for listening to bad advice from a friend :/
Like I stated earlier, we make the same amount (I might make a little more due to doing residential real estate part time). Over the weekend I didn’t take my card out to pay for ANYTHING! He seemed ok with it, but obviously we will eventually need to talk about the situation.
In defense of the friend, she may not have had malicious intent, sometimes people just don't know better because they've never had better. I found out the whole dutch mindset is actually more common than I had ever really though.
I've had a friend say something similar to me in regards to how I dealt with an SO, I just ignored it. She's a really good friend, I know she didn't mean any harm. I also had one friend that I had to really sit her down and school her, over some other people who had told her differently. This was obvious though, she was a student, dude was working as a tax attorney. I mean, come on.
True...her friend may not have meant her any harm.She may have just been worried that she would get the "gold digger" label.
Btw, can I just say how I can't STAND how that term "gold digger" is thrown about so freely these days in order to describe women???![]()
BACK in the day, REAL men WERE the sole providers of their family and households. That was just a given. Nobody batted an eyelash when men went to work (or had wealth) and brought home the bacon to the women who were at home raising their kids or just doing "women things". Were the women gold-diggers back then too??
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Girl yes!!! Even dudes with nothing but lint in their pockets be hollerin' about some damn "gold diggers".
Have a seat, sir! Please and thank you.