"What you won't do, someone else will!" How true is this?

[WhipEffectz1]

When it comes to relationships particularly marriages? Right after our college graduation, a friend of mine got married. During the first 2 years, she painted a picture that the marriage was perfect. However, about a year after that, she broke down and confessed that she really couldn't bring herself to give fellatio. Okay, so I asked her why and she stated, "because I just don't like it and the taste is horrible." I asked her did she talk to her husband about it and she said yes. She said he accepted that she didn't do it when they were dating but that he thought she would get over it once they were married. Well, she didn't and now she suspects(almost 100% sure) he is having an affair.

So is she to blame? Its not like he asked her to have a threesome or something more extreme. She also confessed she likes to lay down most of the time(while colouring).erplexed

 

[MrsQueeny]

No she is not to blame, he is. He knew from jump that wasn't something she did. As long as he is getting the goods, then he is wrong to be cheating. You can't always have it your way when you are married. You have to pick your battles. If she is loving, caring, supportive, a great cook, and gives him intimacy then not getting that, should be the least of his worries. If it was "that" important, he shouldn't have married her. Q

 

[dlewis]

She hasn't done anything wrong. I do believe you should do WHAT YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH to please your mate.

I believe that there is always someone out there that will do what I won't do but I still ain't doing what I don't want to do. And if the need is that strong he can divorce me and go looking for that other woman but he'll never find a woman like me.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

No she is not to blame, he is. He knew from jump that wasn't something she did. As long as he is getting the goods, then he is wrong to be cheating. You can't always have it your way when you are married. You have to pick your battles. If she is loving, caring, supportive, a great cook, and gives him intimacy then not getting that, should be the least of his worries. If it was "that" important, he shouldn't have married her. Q

They eat out a lot.

 

[dlewis]

No she is not to blame, he is. He knew from jump that wasn't something she did. As long as he is getting the goods, then he is wrong to be cheating. You can't always have it your way when you are married. You have to pick your battles. If she is loving, caring, supportive, a great cook, and gives him intimacy then not getting that, should be the least of his worries. If it was "that" important, he shouldn't have married her. Q

Ya know some people are just sex addicts. My cousin is like that. had a great woman that let him do all that freaky stuff and guess what? he still cheated.

 

[*~Mocha~*]

They should've discussed this before marriage IMO, and if they did and she told him that she did not and would not do it then she is not to blame at all. Theres no excuse for infidelity at all, even if she did say that she LOVED to do and switched up thats not grounds to go cheat.

 

[kandake]

I have conflicting views.

She shouldn't be blamed for his indiscretions.

BUT... I think far too many women withhold sex/sex acts from men and play the dummy when they find out their men are cheating. If you're not doing it then most likely somebody else is willing to oblige.

ETA:

1. Yes men will cheat regardless
2. Yes men need to practice self control
3. People need to discuss these things before marriage and be COMPLETELY honest about their expectations.

 

[dlewis]

I have conflicting views.

She shouldn't be blamed for his indiscretions.

BUT... I think far too many women withhold sex/sex acts from men and play the dummy when they find out their men are cheating. If you're not doing it then most likely somebody else is willing to oblige.

I don't believe in withholding sex because I love just as much as he does BUT he knew she didn't like doing that before he married her.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Ya know some people are just sex addicts. My cousin is like that. had a great woman that let him do all that freaky stuff and guess what? he still cheated.

Ohnwow....what kinds of freaky stuff? Some stuff is just too freaky and should be billed as extreme.

 

[MrsQueeny]

They eat out a lot.

Okay well she doesn't cook but it still doesn't change the fact that he's wrong. Point is, he KNEW from jump she didn't like it. Case closed why are you complaining. I say the same thing for women who marry men knowing they smoke and get mad when later in the marriage they still haven't stopped. When you married him he was smoking, so don't expect marriage to change them. They have to want it for themselves. Q

 

[dlewis]

Ohnwow....what kinds of freaky stuff? Some stuff is just too freaky and should be billed as extreme.

tying people up, choking, anal, anal/oral, threesomes, threesomes with trannies. I had never heard of some of this stuff until she mentioned it.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I have conflicting views.

She shouldn't be blamed for his indiscretions.

BUT... I think far too many women withhold sex/sex acts from men and play the dummy when they find out their men are cheating. If you're not doing it then most likely somebody else is willing to oblige.

ETA:

1. Yes men will cheat regardless
2. Yes men need to practice self control
3. People need to discuss these things before marriage and be COMPLETELY honest about their expectations.

I tend to feel this way especially with an issue like this. Most men think that once they get married that women will start doing some of the things that women profess a wife should do. So she lays on her back and don't believe in fellatio but she said she sure loves it when he does it....lmao.

 

[dlewis]

When it comes to relationships particularly marriages? Right after our college graduation, a friend of mine got married. During the first 2 years, she painted a picture that the marriage was perfect. However, about a year after that, she broke down and confessed that she really couldn't bring herself to give fellatio. Okay, so I asked her why and she stated, "because I just don't like it and the taste is horrible." I asked her did she talk to her husband about it and she said yes. She said he accepted that she didn't do it when they were dating but that he thought she would get over it once they were married. Well, she didn't and now she suspects(almost 100% sure) he is having an affair.

So is she to blame? Its not like he asked her to have a threesome or something more extreme. She also confessed she likes to lay down most of the time(while colouring).erplexed

That is extreme to her.

 

[pookaloo83]

He knew ahead of time that was something she didn't like doing. I think her mistake was telling him she would get over it once they were married. Now he will probably hold her to it.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

tying people up, choking, anal, anal/oral, threesomes, threesomes with trannies. I had never heard of some of this stuff until she mentioned it.

Oh hell no. Even I cross the line at that type of stuff. lmao. What happened to role playing, yummy lotions, and all that other stuff.

 

[dlewis]

I tend to feel this way especially with an issue like this. Most men think that once they get married that women will start doing some of the things that women profess a wife should do. So she lays on her back and don't believe in fellatio but she said she sure loves it when he does it....lmao.

Nothing wrong with that if that's what he likes to do.

 

[dlewis]

Maybe he should try cleaning himself up better. Maybe that would help.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Okay well she doesn't cook but it still doesn't change the fact that he's wrong. Point is, he KNEW from jump she didn't like it. Case closed why are you complaining. I say the same thing for women who marry men knowing they smoke and get mad when later in the marriage they still haven't stopped. When you married him he was smoking, so don't expect marriage to change them. They have to want it for themselves. Q

Well, he loved her enough to marry her in spite of this. This is really taking a toll on her and I don't know what to tell her besides give head.

 

[Nayna]

If it was that big of an issue then he shouldnt waste her time, he can go find another sexually free woman and leave her to someone that's more understanding. I think there's a lot that people are not comfy doing and if means that much to him there are plenty of ways to work around things and help her get to that level.

 

[*~Mocha~*]

I have conflicting views.

She shouldn't be blamed for his indiscretions.

BUT... I think far too many women withhold sex/sex acts from men and play the dummy when they find out their men are cheating. If you're not doing it then most likely somebody else is willing to oblige.

ETA:

1. Yes men will cheat regardless
2. Yes men need to practice self control
3. People need to discuss these things before marriage and be COMPLETELY honest about their expectations.

I dont think she is withholding in this case. If she told him that is something she does not do he should respect that. He choose to be with her despite her telling him that so she isnt at fault.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Nothing wrong with that if that's what he likes to do.

He's probably feeling cheated after all those years of pleasuring her.

 

[Lovelylife]

um..men cheat on women that are great in bed and give fellatio.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Maybe he should try cleaning himself up better. Maybe that would help.

 

[dlewis]

Well, he loved her enough to marry her in spite of this. This is really taking a toll on her and I don't know what to tell her besides give head.

Well, is head really that good if you know the person don't want to give it? Most people try to perfect their craft and I'm sure she's not willing to put in the time to get that right.

 

[kandake]

I don't believe in withholding sex because I love just as much as he does BUT he knew she didn't like doing that before he married her.

I agree, thats why I also mentioned that they should have had a candid conversation about it before hand instead of assuming it would work itself out. Him thinking she would give in and her thinking he would be okay with it.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Well, is head really that good if you know the person don't want to give it? Most people try to perfect their craft and I'm sure she's not willing to put in the time to get that right.

She's not and she agreed with my cousin one day that she likes to lay down most of the time. Don't know chile.....

 

[pookaloo83]

Well, is head really that good if you know the person don't want to give it? Most people try to perfect their craft and I'm sure she's not willing to put in the time to get that right.

She might miss and chomp him

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Well, there are a lot of things that people don't do before they marry. Some people don't cook, roll over, play dead, or any of that.

 

[JustKiya]

He entered the marriage knowing that she wasn't down. He agreed to that, and married her, all the same. Cheating, now, because he can't see a life without head, is wrong, wrong, wrong. He shoulda thought about that BEFORE he got married.

Also, if she let him believe that she would 'change' once they got married, she is also wrong for leading him along, in order to get that ring.

I suspect that they both contributed to this. As a couple, they either need to figure out ways to make speaking into the mike more comfortable for her, or he needs to hope he gets all the head he's ever wanted in heaven, or divorce, or agree that he gets a weekly head budget. Pros are safer than amateurs - they don't want your man, just his money.

 

[dlewis]

You know some men look nasty. I went out with this guy and I promise I could smell that he didn't wipe his butt good. I cut that date short and never answered any more of his calls.