Farida
Well-Known Member
One of my co-workers is constantly having issues with her daughter - I'll name her "AJ." AJ barely made it through high school and not for lack of the mind for it. She just never put any effort into anything. She then drifted from dead-end job to job and community college for almost 7 years. It finally seemed like she got her act together and she went to a state school and graduated.
However, like most kids nowadays she could not find a good job after graduation but instead of hustling she would call my co-worker crying (she lives in another state) saying she can't even afford food. So my co-worker would send her money, even if it meant she could not pay some of her own bills. Meanwhile, AJ was racking up thousands in credit card debt and working a few hours a week here and there through temp agencies and even TURNING DOWN jobs.
Finally, at 28, she found a full time job with benefits but not in her field and nothing with promotion potential. She seemed to be on track and doing very well but my co-worker found out that for the past 3 years AJ has been dating wealthy, married men. At first she used them just to go to expensive dinners and dates and moved from guy to guy but then it evolved to her having long-term arrangements with men doing that and giving her money to pay her credit card, bills and have fun.
AJ pretty much has a wardrobe of expensive clothes and shoes, a brand new car and a monthly vacation from her latest married man. She says she never wants to get married or have kids and is just having fun. She has no moral qualms about what she is doing because she says she does not believe in God and she is not the one who made vows. My co-worker is heartbroken but at this point she is just tired and is considering turning a blind eye since her daughter is at least working full time which she never envisioned would be a thing. She asked me for advice and I really don't have anything to offer. An adult can do what she wants but it would break my heart if it was my own child.
At the very least, I feel AJ is short-circuiting the process of learning to live within her means and manage her money. If she at least had that then I wouldn't think too much of someone else paying her bills and spoiling her (my issues with adultery aside). What would you say or do if this were your daughter? Plus how would you react to her bringing the guy home for holidays and family events (she brought one of these dudes home for Easter but at the time her mom had no idea he was married with kids).
However, like most kids nowadays she could not find a good job after graduation but instead of hustling she would call my co-worker crying (she lives in another state) saying she can't even afford food. So my co-worker would send her money, even if it meant she could not pay some of her own bills. Meanwhile, AJ was racking up thousands in credit card debt and working a few hours a week here and there through temp agencies and even TURNING DOWN jobs.
Finally, at 28, she found a full time job with benefits but not in her field and nothing with promotion potential. She seemed to be on track and doing very well but my co-worker found out that for the past 3 years AJ has been dating wealthy, married men. At first she used them just to go to expensive dinners and dates and moved from guy to guy but then it evolved to her having long-term arrangements with men doing that and giving her money to pay her credit card, bills and have fun.
AJ pretty much has a wardrobe of expensive clothes and shoes, a brand new car and a monthly vacation from her latest married man. She says she never wants to get married or have kids and is just having fun. She has no moral qualms about what she is doing because she says she does not believe in God and she is not the one who made vows. My co-worker is heartbroken but at this point she is just tired and is considering turning a blind eye since her daughter is at least working full time which she never envisioned would be a thing. She asked me for advice and I really don't have anything to offer. An adult can do what she wants but it would break my heart if it was my own child.
At the very least, I feel AJ is short-circuiting the process of learning to live within her means and manage her money. If she at least had that then I wouldn't think too much of someone else paying her bills and spoiling her (my issues with adultery aside). What would you say or do if this were your daughter? Plus how would you react to her bringing the guy home for holidays and family events (she brought one of these dudes home for Easter but at the time her mom had no idea he was married with kids).
maybe they would have if he had been broke. this is a pretty manless family im from, though, so.... 
this relative also did the "sugar baby" thing for awhile (and has since stopped as far as i know) and again it was not exactly a secret but mom didnt really do much about it... she lost her last job after hooking up with another dude there (the babys father was also a coworker, and she lost that job at the time too, which was a big deal) but theyre still together even though i know for a fact (not sure if she does the way she stay bragging like that relationship is something for everybody to get their panties in a bunch over) that he is a straight up cheater...
