What happened to tha sistahood of hair-growing?

[bigdeelight]

But as a noob myself, I do see alot of the smart a$$ness that goes on. Look in this thread alone, how many smart behind smilies were posted? I think those who need to change have outed themselves in this thread with the smart comments and snide remarks that I don't feel like quoting.

Yes, I do get annoyed when people ask questions about topics...searching for and reading through and yet they can't even research it for themselves.
SEARCH IT OUT! Felt nice to say that! But notice I didn't attack anyone, I usually move past those threads.

. . . as oldies, ya'll DO realize that MOST of the people that were here with u when u joined, are gone right? like they reached their goal and/or found what worked for them or quit, and LEFT!

Everyone has SOMETHING to bring the the board, whether it is a miracle line of their own or inspirational pictures or a horror story or just humor. I would put MONEY on that there are some people who have SL hair that is healthier than some of the oldies or chicks with hair to their heels.

If I can pick out the usual suspects then I'm sure the mods can figure who they are, too. I think its just people projecting their true feelings about black women growing long hair.

I'm not trying to discuss if blonde hair looks good on black women or if Asian women have a hard time growing hair they way we do. Or, the negative backlash of growing your hair long. I just want a physical change in my look, but for some its deeper than that.

regardless if you keep taking the bait folx drop, you will be typing from now until the world ends. Just let it go. You arent the only one who can see through such petty attempts.

If you don’t like what someone is saying. Don’t respond. Take what you need and keep it moving. I have noticed that yes some do constantly stress their beliefs. And if I don’t want to hear it I can skip over their post. But, some don’t. Instead they will constantly post pictures of head bashing, or say how they are tired of hearing it, etc. This is pointless and just aggravates situations. Some will post an icon eating popcorn.. Or remarks that "she gonna get you”! Again, unnecessary and further aggravates the situation. If you aren’t interested or just don’t want to hear it, then move on, no need to respond with catty, nasty and mostly unnecessary remarks or icons.

I see many many posts that I disagree with, some I think are untruthful but why get into an argument about it. I don’t respond to the post. I seldom respond to posts for that very reason so many ladies here are catty and some just plain nasty.

I have seen a few threads where posters are complaining about a product from one of our members and the poster is told to pm the vendor. I think it is of utmost importance that when it is one of our lhcf members is selling a product that is not good or giving bad service that we share it. I believe this is of utmost importance because they the lhcf vendor member is almost given a free pass because we members are anxious to support our own. So, if the service or product is bad we need to know. Now within that complaint thread other members will come in and share their positive and or negative experiences with that vendor thereby informing the rest of us of their experiences, too. Then we can make an informed judgment the same as we do for our non lhcf vendors. They should not be treated differently than other vendors. We are giving them the same hard earned money that we give to non members. If your product is good, then its good and the reviews will speak for themselves. And if not the post gives you notice that you should step it up a notch.

I have seen threads where people are insisting that tones have been used with them. Typed words can be very easily misinterpreted because you can’t hear the tone in the persons voice. I have received emails where I have said huh, sounds like they have an attitude and have asked someone else to read the email and they interpreted it differently. So, don’t take offense. If you do take offense then take a break step away from the keyboard.

So, I guess my bottom line is that you should be able to voice your opinion without being viciously attacked. And if you opinion was not liked/appreciated it does not invalidate your opinion. No, you don’t have to stay in that same thread and keep repeating it, because I agree it was heard. But, do I think you should be silenced in other threads? NO! So, for that thread please let it go. However, you are free to go into another thread and share your feelings, especially if that thread is about your subject that you feel so strongly about.

I also feel that many are too lazy to do they own research and want to be spoon fed their information. I have heard remarks like I am too lazy to read the whole thread, so tell me blah blah blah. Or someone with a “how to” question that clearly has not looked. Or buying stuff and then asking “what do I do with this now” What????? How dangerous is that?. The search function may not work but your mouse works and that is how I have found most of my information. Clicking through the pages, no search function, no goggling just perusing the pages one at a time and then I hit the archives. In fact I have found the most valuable information in the archives. A lot of new bandwagons are really just old bandwagons. I saw someone taking credit for originating an idea that was in the archives 3 years old and by another poster who no longer posts on the board.

Lastly, (I know I am long winded) I have noticed that the majority of the meanest, catties post comes from the newer members that have been here less than 18 months. One new member asked another new member why she only had one post in 4 months Huh? What kind of question was that? Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of catty members here that has been here longer than 18 months, too. But, why when we are here for the same reason, to grow healthy long hair. I have learned a lot since I have been here some I have used and others not.

Sorry for the long post and it was not intended to insult anyone and I have no tone or disrespect directed toward any member.

Much Love,
Tottzu

Like any thread on here, I read through the entire thread before making a decision to post or not. I couldn't agree more with many of the statements made here though I could only quote a few. I despise the natural vs. relaxed debate. I despise someone trying to define to me what is "truly" natural hair and what is not. I despise it not only because it's petty and completely built on a foundation of personal opinion but because at the end of the day, it's all hair.

I spend less time posting and more time reading not because I'm scared of e-bangers and their keystroke gangsta but moreso because if people spent HALF as much time reading posts as they do making pointless ones, there wouldn't be 50-11 random new threads when the answer to their question is usually in an original thread on the SAME page the new thread is on. Seriously, if you don't have the patience to read a 30 page thread about a product you have an interest in reading I seriously doubt you have the patience to grow your hair healthy and effectively.

Someone shouldn't have to type with the disclaimer of "In My Humble Opinion". Ones common sense should kick in and realize that in a forum, every single POST is an opinion and shouldn't be taken as the gospel. There are many, many things that annoy me in this forum and those are the things I chose to skip over. However, for as much irritation as ignorance can cause, there is a WEALTH of information that is to be learned and discovered.

EVERYONE plays their roles. The solution shouldn't be the block people/posts because of one disagreement you may have had with them. The same people that one may peg as a flamer/drama starter/riot inciter may hold the key to a hair problem you may be having. Perhaps if the focus shifted from holding e-grudges against a screename and an ip address to simply appreciating everyone for the role they play, it may be a little less snippy around here.

If anyone was offended or if I stepped on any toes with this post, just say ouch and keep it moving.

 

[gymfreak336]

I certainly never asked for respect for those reasons! I asked for it because it just simply should be! I really hope this isnt what this is now going to turn into........lord

now its gone from ambushing to saying if one wants that not to happen them, then it must be because of their hair and/or join date?


Thats a non issues, its about what should not be going down on lhcf period!

See, you are doing it again. Did I say YOU said that? You are making this all about you once again. I was responding to comments made in this thread by various members. No one said your name. I didn't say anything too you. I didn't put words in your mouth.

Lets do us both a favor, stop responding to me and I won't say anything to you.

 

[january noir]

Like any thread on here, I read through the entire thread before making a decision to post or not. I couldn't agree more with many of the statements made here though I could only quote a few. I despise the natural vs. relaxed debate. I despise someone trying to define to me what is "truly" natural hair and what is not. I despise it not only because it's petty and completely built on a foundation of personal opinion but because at the end of the day, it's all hair.

I spend less time posting and more time reading not because I'm scared of e-bangers and their keystroke gangsta but moreso because if people spent HALF as much time reading posts as they do making pointless ones, there wouldn't be 50-11 random new threads when the answer to their question is usually in an original thread on the SAME page the new thread is on. Seriously, if you don't have the patience to read a 30 page thread about a product you have an interest in reading I seriously doubt you have the patience to grow your hair healthy and effectively.

Someone shouldn't have to type with the disclaimer of "In My Humble Opinion". Ones common sense should kick in and realize that in a forum, every single POST is an opinion and shouldn't be taken as the gospel. There are many, many things that annoy me in this forum and those are the things I chose to skip over. However, for as much irritation as ignorance can cause, there is a WEALTH of information that is to be learned and discovered.

EVERYONE plays their roles. The solution shouldn't be the block people/posts because of one disagreement you may have had with them. The same people that one may peg as a flamer/drama starter/riot inciter may hold the key to a hair problem you may be having. Perhaps if the focus shifted from holding e-grudges against a screename and an ip address to simply appreciating everyone for the role they play, it may be a little less snippy around here.

If anyone was offended or if I stepped on any toes with this post, just say ouch and keep it moving.

Why are you making too much sense? :notworthy
I could hug you right now.

 

[genesis132]

i've been reading alot of the old old posts lately..

 

[PinkPeony]

See, you are doing it again. Did I say YOU said that? You are making this all about you once again. I was responding to comments made in this thread by various members. No one said your name. I didn't say anything too you. I didn't put words in your mouth.

Lets do us both a favor, stop responding to me and I won't say anything to you.

You are too cute in your new siggy

 

[gymfreak336]

You are too cute in your new siggy

thanks ella!

 

[bigdeelight]

Why are you making too much sense? :notworthy
I could hug you right now.

I guess this will have to do!

 

[Irresistible]

See, you are doing it again. Did I say YOU said that? You are making this all about you once again. I was responding to comments made in this thread by various members. No one said your name. I didn't say anything too you. I didn't put words in your mouth.

Lets do us both a favor, stop responding to me and I won't say anything to you.

Yeah I keep falling for this bait! Well I can respond to any post I want and its NOT ABOUT YOU. If you say in a thread that people (not speaking about me or to me like you said) deserve respect 'not just because they are 'old heads' or because they have 'better' hair' , but those facts still apply to me even if made indirectly, then I should be able to 'directly' speak on them without again being insulted

I can still speak up and say thats not, and what it is for me, without some other negative accusation being made yet again at me that I am making it 'all about me', I am simply speaking 'for me' concerning this thread and responding , and since I have had recent issues that are being brought up in this thread that you posted on, and what you said just happens to apply to me as far as being an 'old head' and others *NOT ME* have made comments about my hair in this thread also because of what went down, then I can reply 'FOR ME' since it applied TO ME even if it was indirectly. I dont think you can tell me not to respond to you or to any post on any thread, but you can ignore me! I was just responding to the statements being made, nothing more, I and only I can speak for me, that was not a crime against YOU

Thank you

 

[Enchantmt]

OK, let's can the back and forth over personal issues and keep it moving. Thanx.

 

[KPH]

OK, let's can the back and forth over personal issues and keep it moving. Thanx.

SORRY, I CAN'T STOP LAFFIN NOW.

I HOPE AFTER THIS THREAD IS DESTROYED, ALL IS FORGIVEN.

ENCHANTMT, YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB MONITORING THIS WAITING TO EXHALE POST.(STILL LAFFIN)

 

[Enchantmt]

SORRY, I CAN'T STOP LAFFIN NOW.

I HOPE AFTER THIS THREAD IS DESTROYED, ALL IS FORGIVEN.

ENCHANTMT, YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB MONITORING THIS WAITING TO EXHALE POST.(STILL LAFFIN)

Thanx darlin'. Between this and the fluffy chix threads in OT y'all have a sista workin hard!

 

[january noir]

I guess this will have to do!

Back atcha Dee Dee. Smart woman. I've read some of your posts before and all of your posts are thoughtful and on point.
Welcome to LHCF - the Sisterhood. I'm glad you are here.

 

[Riverwalk]

I think a good debate gleans more knowledge for all. Unfortunately some members are touchy and view debates as drama or as soon as someone disagrees with their opinions they get hurt feelings -- finding it hard to accept an opposing opinion gracefully.

How boring this board would be if we all had the same opinions and experiences. I believe we all want to be encouraging and to share our successes and setbacks, but we also want to get the pros and cons, the good bad and the ugly on products, methods etc. And thus we should not have to walk on egg-shells for a few touchy people.

Mods you are doing an excellent job letting most of these instances work themselves out.

Excellent post, especially the bolded --- this pretty much sums it up.

I spend less time posting and more time reading not because I'm scared of e-bangers and their keystroke gangsta but moreso because if people spent HALF as much time reading posts as they do making pointless ones, there wouldn't be 50-11 random new threads when the answer to their question is usually in an original thread on the SAME page the new thread is on. Seriously, if you don't have the patience to read a 30 page thread about a product you have an interest in reading I seriously doubt you have the patience to grow your hair healthy and effectively.

Someone shouldn't have to type with the disclaimer of "In My Humble Opinion". Ones common sense should kick in and realize that in a forum, every single POST is an opinion and shouldn't be taken as the gospel. There are many, many things that annoy me in this forum and those are the things I chose to skip over. However, for as much irritation as ignorance can cause, there is a WEALTH of information that is to be learned and discovered.

I agree with the above 100%. The search feature is a WONDERFUL aspect of LHCF, and it should be utilized more. I sometimes think some people may be offended when their thread is not answered, and sometimes the reason it may not be answered is because there are 50-11 threads that already exist on it.

With regards to reading through a thread -- I belong to another forum (not hair related), and they basically have in the rules that before posting you should read through at least 10-20 pages of a thread before posting. They simply don't tolerate it when people come into a thread stating "I am too lazy too read this entire thread, but here is what I am going to say or ask..." If you are that interested in the topic, you should read the thread. Reading is fundamental.

 

[gymfreak336]

SORRY, I CAN'T STOP LAFFIN NOW.

I HOPE AFTER THIS THREAD IS DESTROYED, ALL IS FORGIVEN.

ENCHANTMT, YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB MONITORING THIS WAITING TO EXHALE POST.(STILL LAFFIN)

And the band played on! Seriously

 

[JustKiya]

I agree with the above 100%. The search feature is a WONDERFUL aspect of LHCF, and it should be utilized more. I sometimes think some people may be offended when their thread is not answered, and sometimes the reason it may not be answered is because there are 50-11 threads that already exist on it.

With regards to reading through a thread -- I belong to another forum (not hair related), and they basically have in the rules that before posting you should read through at least 10-20 pages of a thread before posting. They simply don't tolerate it when people come into a thread stating "I am too lazy too read this entire thread, but here is what I am going to say or ask..." If you are that interested in the topic, you should read the thread. Reading is fundamental.

That almost needs to be LHCF's theme slogan!!

 

[MzOptimistic]

I agree with you Lucia.

The problem comes from many different things.

You got the attention seekers who manage to turn everything around to be about them
You got people throwing stones then looking up like Wasn't me, I didn't mean to hit you
You got people being hypersensitive and they are taking too much to personal
You also have people that feel the need to have something too say all of the time....we don't have too and we don't need to reply to EVERY thread.

I agree 1000% with you! I miss the old posters soooo much! Some days I just be ghost because LHCF is not the same anymore. I lurk ALOT now because it's not that serious getting into it with some ONLINE...puhleeze I wish I would waste my time.

 

[january noir]

thanks ella!

I like it too Chica!

 

[Empress Yahudah]

Originally Posted by gymfreak336
I agree with you Lucia.

The problem comes from many different things.

You got the attention seekers who manage to turn everything around to be about them
You got people throwing stones then looking up like Wasn't me, I didn't mean to hit you
You got people being hypersensitive and they are taking too much to personal
You also have people that feel the need to have something too say all of the time....we don't have too and we don't need to reply to EVERY thread.

I agree 1000% with you! I miss the old posters soooo much! Some days I just be ghost because LHCF is not the same anymore. I lurk ALOT now because it's not that serious getting into it with some ONLINE...puhleeze I wish I would waste my time.

Well I wish I had more to say but u two said everyting that I wanted to

 

[Kirei]

This post started off great but, I think many people just can't get along. Some people just can't seem to stop making snide comments or whatever. Some of these comments are so transparent, it is obvious who most of you are talking about. So, as much as ya'll are telling "her" to let it go ya'll need to let it go as well, all of you who seem to feel the need to repeat how she keeps making everything about her etc. etc. okay, WE HEAR YOU too, that's not what this thread was about. 5 people already said the same thing you said and 10 people already agreed with them so why are ya'll repeating ya'll selves? This one person sure has ya'll panties in a bunch! Just push ignore or something.


See, until some of us let go of our pride and look at ourselves and not everyone else, we would see where the problem lays.

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

This post started off great but, I think many people just can't get along. Some people just can't seem to stop making snide comments or whatever. Some of these comments are so transparent, it is obvious who most of you are talking about. So, as much as ya'll are telling "her" to let it go ya'll need to let it go as well, all of you who seem to feel the need to repeat how she keeps making everything about her etc. etc. okay, WE HEAR YOU too, that's not what this thread was about. 5 people already said the same thing you said and 10 people already agreed with them so why are ya'll repeating ya'll selves? This one person sure has ya'll panties in a bunch! Just push ignore or something.


See, until some of us let go of our pride and look at ourselves and not everyone else, we would see where the problem lays.

Let the church say "Amen."

 

[Irresistible]

This post started off great but, I think many people just can't get along. Some people just can't seem to stop making snide comments or whatever. Some of these comments are so transparent, it is obvious who most of you are talking about. So, as much as ya'll are telling "her" to let it go ya'll need to let it go as well, all of you who seem to feel the need to repeat how she keeps making everything about her etc. etc. okay, WE HEAR YOU too, that's not what this thread was about. 5 people already said the same thing you said and 10 people already agreed with them so why are ya'll repeating ya'll selves? This one person sure has ya'll panties in a bunch! Just push ignore or something.


See, until some of us let go of our pride and look at ourselves and not everyone else, we would see where the problem lays.

LIYAH!!!!!!!!! I have no words

Thank you for having the eyes to really see and your brave heart to speak! Thank you!

 

[HairBarbie]

This post started off great but, I think many people just can't get along. Some people just can't seem to stop making snide comments or whatever. Some of these comments are so transparent, it is obvious who most of you are talking about. So, as much as ya'll are telling "her" to let it go ya'll need to let it go as well, all of you who seem to feel the need to repeat how she keeps making everything about her etc. etc. okay, WE HEAR YOU too, that's not what this thread was about. 5 people already said the same thing you said and 10 people already agreed with them so why are ya'll repeating ya'll selves? This one person sure has ya'll panties in a bunch! Just push ignore or something.


See, until some of us let go of our pride and look at ourselves and not everyone else, we would see where the problem lays.

I agree, the very thing that the OP is talking about is going on right in this thread. There are many hateful posts in this thread, it's all child's play really. Talking about someone indirectly, but with enough information to let them know that you are talking about them, then get mad when they *gasp* have the "audacity" to respond to you.

Most of us are adults and people need to start acting like it and stop with ganging up on people because you can or because their opinion is not what the majority co-signs with. I think people are too concerned with being the Miss popular and are not really focusing on what the board is all about.

Also, what is the "negative site", is it another hair board?

 

[MzOptimistic]

This post started off great but, I think many people just can't get along. Some people just can't seem to stop making snide comments or whatever. Some of these comments are so transparent, it is obvious who most of you are talking about. So, as much as ya'll are telling "her" to let it go ya'll need to let it go as well, all of you who seem to feel the need to repeat how she keeps making everything about her etc. etc. okay, WE HEAR YOU too, that's not what this thread was about. 5 people already said the same thing you said and 10 people already agreed with them so why are ya'll repeating ya'll selves? This one person sure has ya'll panties in a bunch! Just push ignore or something.


See, until some of us let go of our pride and look at ourselves and not everyone else, we would see where the problem lays.

Once, again I agree. That's the problem right there ^^^^ I have no problem apologizing online when I know I'm in the wrong but I can't say that for some of the ladies here

 

[Irresistible]

Let the church say "Amen."

Amen!!!!!!

 

[Irresistible]

Once, again I agree. That's the problem right there ^^^^ I have no problem apologizing online when I know I'm in the wrong but I can't say that for some of the ladies here

God as my witness and the MODS too I apologized up one side and down the other and plead with them for understanding for the times and the ways I went wrong

 

[MzOptimistic]

Amen!!!!!!

Don't worry Iris! I gotcha back{{{hugs}}} You ready to shut this thread downnnnn or what?. LOL....

 

[Irresistible]

I agree, the very thing that the OP is talking about is going on right in this thread. There are many hateful posts in this thread, it's all child's play really. Talking about someone indirectly, but with enough information to let them know that you are talking about them, then get mad when they *gasp* have the "audacity" to respond to you.

Most of us are adults and people need to start acting like it and stop with ganging up on people because you can or because their opinion is not what the majority co-signs with. I think people are too concerned with being the Miss popular and are not really focusing on what the board is all about.

Also, what is the "negative site", is it another hair board?

it was a set up!

Yeah thats what we were saying its becoming very click'ish, Hell I would venture to say in some ways the feeling is even 'cult'ish' at times.

 

[Irresistible]

Don't worry Iris! I gotcha back{{{hugs}}} You ready to shut this thread downnnnn or what?. LOL....

yup yup!!!

 

[Lucky's Mom]

...and if you do this how can I/we learn from you? (your hair is beautiful!)

This is what I'm talking about...

driving people away...

I do understand why lurkland would be a great place to visit.

I cannot beleive this thread is still here.

 

[Irresistible]

ENCHANTMT!!!!!!!

:blowkiss:

Thank you for 'baby sitting' this thread and keeping your presence known and felt on this thread and making sure it was fair!