What happened to tha sistahood of hair-growing?

[naijamerican]

I dont own a LHCF tshirt (yet) ( I know, I'm naughty) but I think the idea of an LHCF day is great. In fact, it could be once a month, like maybe the third Saturday or something. Carry your cameras, and if you run across a cousin, you can take pics, exchange screen names, and post it in a "Nikos Cousin" thread or something. Just a suggestion.

Hey, I like this idea! I don't own a shirt, either, but if this idea gains some traction I'll buy a shirt (and crawl out of the hole I live in on the weekends, )!

 

[Enchantmt]

Ladies, let's keep this thread moving forward in a POSITIVE direction. Thanx.

 

[SunnyDelight]

Ladies, let's keep this thread moving forward in a POSITIVE direction. Thanx.

If anybody needs help in doing the above - please view "the happy thread"

 

[LayneJ]

I have been called "Pollyanna" a time or two in my lifetime, but I do feel the sisterhood. I love this site- I truly do. Whenever I have a question or a problem one of my sisters is there to offer assistance.

At the same time, I have seen a few threads just go downhill in my tenure here- but that's life. No matter what there always be a few rotten apples in the bunch.

I agree with you.

I'd say the hair board is 99.9% positive. As of late, I've seen a few funny threads, but with as many people and personalties that are on this board, that is to be expected.

All in all, this is a great site!

 

[africa]

As far as the personal insults, I think we all have been guilty of that at one time or another whether intentional or not. Me personally, I "try" to avoid stuff that would get me worked up. You seem like you really want it to be known that you were insulted and it is noted. I am sure others felt personally insulted by you as well. This is not a right or wrong this is about perception. Perception for one is reality for another person. We really need to just drop it all and move on. I would be perfect if we could post without folks disagreeing but life isn't like that. I expect when I post something for folks to agree with me, and for some not to. Either way, I will say what I have to and move on. I've learned to pick and choose my battles and it has saved me a lot of time and stress. Take care ladies and happy hair growing. Q

ITA with this post.

I would like to add that I lurked for almost two years before becoming a member and have been frustrated by the drama lately (its definitely new, but something about the recent drama as really got under my skin even though I don't use said products). I really like this board and do feel that the tone hear is generally positive. LHCF has always been an escape for me, but lately I find myself getting worked up when certain things keep being rehashed over and over and over and over and won't be let go.

Whether members are old or new, and whether a poster's intentions fit the response they got or not, maintaining sisterhood means acknowledging and giving space (respectfully) to the feelings/opinions of everyone on here. I think sometimes people do need to be checked and I've always found it frustrating how some people (because of how long they've been on the board, hair length/texture, favored personality, or whatever) seem to get others all riled up with impunity while others get banned.

Nothing--including what seems like "new" drama--happens in a vaccuum and for me honesty, objectivity, and sometimes letting it go (on all sides) helps maintain sisterhood.

Like I said, I love this board and am all for an LHCF day and t-shirt.

 

[HappyHairDreams]

I've been noticing a trend lately, actually it's been a while, this is a hair board with spin-off topics and we can all express our opinions, right? Maybe not even the littlest of topics, about haircare methods, product reviews result in the OP getting attacked. I know this is not why the boards came into existence, haven't some of you noticed that alot of the original hair diva's have not been here, either every once in a while or have been totally M.I.A? It's because some negative people are ruining it for the rest of us.

Everyone posts advice or regime's, reggie's according to what works for them, and alot of times those members who have had hair success their techniques seem to work for alot of other members too, that's what I thought this was about, not about getting personal frustrations or jealousies off by attacking someone for their hard earned hair success.
I remember when you could come on here and say that you ruined your hair by going to a scissor happy stylist or got a bad perm, color etc... and you got support and postivie words even cyber hugs, now you can hardly type a word without the feeling that someone or a couple someone's will diss, harass, and ridicule you, your post, and/or your right to post how far you've come in the hair game. Even pics aren't good enough anymore as they are coming under scrutiny even though you clearly see the person's scalp before and after press, perm, etc...

I hope that this kind of climate doesn't drive away all our hair gurus and divas cause then what would be the point of having a hair board if no one's here to give advice from experience, trial and error, and celebrate every and all hair triumphs great-lengths and short-lengths. that's all....

I just try to avoid commenting on trends that go negative inorder to avoid increasing the popularity of the trend. And when I do jump in, it's the give the OP the benefit of the doubt. I think that's a large part of the problem; communicating online without seeing people's faces and hearing their tone of voice can lead to a lot of miscommunication if you're not wiling to give the "speaker" the benefit of the doubt.

 

[SelahOco]

i just want to say that this hair board has had such an impact on me and my friends (whom I force to read your threads). I'd be bald if it wasnt for this board You ladies are wonderful.

 

[january noir]

I hope that from here that if I do bring this product up again , my opinion of it to another , at another point in time, when I would feel appropriate that it would not be further taken as me dictating , which I never did ,nor had the power to do , nor the desire , and that it wont be taken as a personal thing against any of you, and that I wont get tag teamed for bringing it up again-not to any of you-but just interacting on a thread with others. You guys are free to post right after me of course if you so choose-respectuflly-what you feel/think etc. , as with everything there will always be two sides and my side is not thinking frequent keratin use is totally safe and without risk- and this is not personally against or about any of you-and for those that are using it with no downsides you would obviously be free to say so, none of this has to continue on as against each other.

This is just a post not directed to you Justkiya directly! I should be able to speak on a product-not a person-without anyone coming along speaking against me as a person. In my posts I always try to be fair when speaking about this product and say some are having success with it, but if it comes up and I feel a place to say to that person-I dont feel its without risk-because I feel lead to do so at that moment or whatever-could my right to do so please be respected without it turning personal anymore. as I dont take it personal when anyone says anything positive they feel about it-can we just let it be as its always been-people speaking the positives when they feel lead and people speaking the negatives when they feel lead. I am not invading ya'lls space. I am not up in YOUR thread saying anything to anyone, but could ya'll give me some breathing room to say what I feel about it when I feel I would want to and realize its not against any of you personally!? and that I am not even speaking to you directly in those instances and let this be what its always been an open forum?

Irresistable, you are absolutely right. Over the last several weeks I've learned more about you since your return to LHCF. I've learned you are one of the Features of the Month with lot's of history around here. A real legend.

Your hair and your har growing experience is a beautiful testament for other ladies who, before, could only dream. I've read your posts and threads and abosorbed your knowledge too. I for one appreciate you for what you bring to LHCFand many other people do too. I think you think many others think less of you and attack you because of it and I haven't seen that, however that's my own perception.

I get the sense that you feel that if all ladies don't return the enthusiasm or share your point of view, you are not being appreciated and that's not true, at least to me. We hear you, we see you. Thank you for being one of many of the hair-care soldiers we have on the board. Many of us haven't been around a long time and some of us won't have hair that flows down our back, but we are all soldiers just the same.

My hope for you is that you believe that we can all learn from one another and we do. Continue to focus on sharing and ignore anyone who seems like they are taking a swipe at you. I do it. And what works for me, may work for you.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I dont own a LHCF tshirt (yet) ( I know, I'm naughty) but I think the idea of an LHCF day is great. In fact, it could be once a month, like maybe the third Saturday or something. Carry your cameras, and if you run across a cousin, you can take pics, exchange screen names, and post it in a "Nikos Cousin" thread or something. Just a suggestion.

Enchantment can you just hook us all up with tshirts?? I know you rich!!!

Naw, seriously, I don't have one either Where can they be purchased? Is there a link?

Hey, I like this idea! I don't own a shirt, either, but if this idea gains some traction I'll buy a shirt (and crawl out of the hole I live in on the weekends, )!

You betta get out that hole gal!!! You are one of my favorite posters

 

[january noir]

I dont own a LHCF tshirt (yet) ( I know, I'm naughty) but I think the idea of an LHCF day is great. In fact, it could be once a month, like maybe the third Saturday or something. Carry your cameras, and if you run across a cousin, you can take pics, exchange screen names, and post it in a "Nikos Cousin" thread or something. Just a suggestion.

This is a grand idea!

 

[Enchantmt]

Enchantment can you just hook us all up with tshirts?? I know you rich!!!

Naw, seriously, I don't have one either Where can they be purchased? Is there a link?

I'm going to stand with you in agreement@ the bolded and wait for it to manifest.

Tshirt order info:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=2316751&postcount=51

Original contest thread:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=127718

 

[Irresistible]

Irresistable, you are absolutely right. Over the last several weeks I've learned more about you since your return to LHCF. I've learned you are one of the Features of the Month with lot's of history around here. A real legend.

Your hair and your har growing experience is a beautiful testament for other ladies who, before, could only dream. I've read your posts and threads and abosorbed your knowledge too. I for one appreciate you for what you bring to LHCFand many other people do too. I think you think many others think less of you and attack you because of it and I haven't seen that, however that's my own perception.

I get the sense that you feel that if all ladies don't return the enthusiasm or share your point of view, you are not being appreciated and that's not true, at least to me. We hear you, we see you. Thank you for being one of many of the hair-care soldiers we have on the board. Many of us haven't been around a long time and some of us won't have hair that flows down our back, but we are all soldiers just the same.

My hope for you is that you believe that we can all learn from one another and we do. Continue to focus on sharing and ignore anyone who seems like they are taking a swipe at you. I do it. And what works for me, may work for you.

Thank you I truly appreciate your words in this post. Truly! But no I was personally attacked and tag teamed and all that. I am not just saying that. Why would I go saying such an untruth with a Moderator sitting here watching every post. It actually did happen! and it was very unjust! I am not looking for anyone to share my enthusiasm on this , in fact I knew from the jump that was not how it was going to go and that is not what bothers me. Its that I litterally feel I will have hell to pay (and have already) if I speak up at all at any time even if I feel it to be appropriate bout my feelings on this product. I understand what your saying but its hard to ingore what seems like a swipe at me to others , that turns into pages and pages of making and taking things personal as well as personal attack on my character -and yes that happened!

 

[Irresistible]

Irresistable, you are absolutely right. Over the last several weeks I've learned more about you since your return to LHCF. I've learned you are one of the Features of the Month with lot's of history around here. A real legend.

Your hair and your har growing experience is a beautiful testament for other ladies who, before, could only dream. I've read your posts and threads and abosorbed your knowledge too. I for one appreciate you for what you bring to LHCFand many other people do too. I think you think many others think less of you and attack you because of it and I haven't seen that, however that's my own perception.

I get the sense that you feel that if all ladies don't return the enthusiasm or share your point of view, you are not being appreciated and that's not true, at least to me. We hear you, we see you. Thank you for being one of many of the hair-care soldiers we have on the board. Many of us haven't been around a long time and some of us won't have hair that flows down our back, but we are all soldiers just the same.

My hope for you is that you believe that we can all learn from one another and we do. Continue to focus on sharing and ignore anyone who seems like they are taking a swipe at you. I do it. And what works for me, may work for you.

I just wanted to add that I do understand what you might think I think but you cant know what I think unless you ask what I think because I dont think that *tongue twister* lol

But really I dont know how you gathered that I think people think this or that of me because of this or that. My mind never went there. People told me what it seemed like I was thinking over and over though. just like this post. and I HAVE done alot of thinking , lol, trying to think of why things have been like this when I know what I AM really thinking and really think I really tried my darndest to express that to the best of my ability over and over

 

[Christa438]

Trust me it has happened, and it was brutal. Again, dont worry about it, just LET IT GO.

PLEASE!!!!!! pretty please with a cherry on top, ladies let's move on...lets move forward in a more positive direction as was said. I feel like we are family in a way, and I hate to see any family at odds and feeling hurt or disrespected, it's best sometimes to agree or agree to disagree and just MOVE ON. Lately all the bitterness and unhappy words are making me sad and crazy. We shouldn't let past drama keep eating away at us and get in the way of things that are more important. When we overcome challenging experiences and then let go of anything that is not useful, we are greater and stronger. Im about to go back to that happy thread. Im in a good mood and that's somethin I want to PERPETUATE .

On another good note, I will say that I truly LOVE lhcf and I visit this board almost daily. Countless beautiful members here still make me feel:
ENCOURAGED!
UPLIFTED!
EMPOWERED!
ENLIGHTENED!
SUPPORTED!
BLESSED!

 

[Artemis]

Where is that darn dead horse smilie when you need it?? Seriously...I wasn't even in the thread that's being re-hashed, and I feel like I was...

Anyways, I wish Jade21 would come back...she was on it when it came to vitamins...And Adrianne, and JenniferMD...I wish they could come back and mentor me.

I remember when I PM-d Tracy about my hair color support thread and she came by and posted pics...MAN! I felt like I had written a letter to Oprah and she flew me out to read what I wrote on her show Tracy is like...Oprah to me.

Edit: There have been a lot of threads that have been killed b/c of differing opinions and it not flowing on a sisterly level...It's sad, but it the truth. And I honestly don't know what it would take for things to go back to the way they were in the beginning, save for the concept of exclusivity to be instated...Just a thought...

 

[Platinum]

I've been a member of the site for a few months. In the short time that I've been here, I've noticed a change in the atmosphere as well. I hate seeing grown women arguing like a bunch of children. Is it really necessary? I joined this site because I wanted to learn how to grow long, healthy hair. Can we get back on track and start working on the sisterhood? I like the LHCF day "idea".

Question for the moderators, have you guys thought about having a few contests and giveaways?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

PLEASE!!!!!! pretty please with a cherry on top, ladies let's move on...lets move forward in a more positive direction as was said. I feel like we are family in a way, and I hate to see any family at odds and feeling hurt or disrespected, it's best sometimes to agree or agree to disagree and just MOVE ON. Lately all the bitterness and unhappy words are making me sad and crazy. We shouldn't let past drama keep eating away at us and get in the way of things that are more important. When we overcome challenging experiences and then let go of anything that is not useful, we are greater and stronger. Im about to go back to that happy thread. Im in a good mood and that's somethin I want to PERPETUATE .

On another good note, I will say that I truly LOVE lhcf and I visit this board almost daily. Countless beautiful members here still make me feel:
ENCOURAGED!
UPLIFTED!
EMPOWERED!
ENLIGHTENED!
SUPPORTED!
BLESSED!

Why, thank you!

Where is that darn dead horse smilie when you need it?? Seriously...I wasn't even in the thread that's being re-hashed, and I feel like I was...

Anyways, I wish Jade21 would come back...she was on it when it came to vitamins...And Adrianne, and JenniferMD...I wish they could come back and mentor me.

I remember when I PM-d Tracy about my hair color support thread and she came by and posted pics...MAN! I felt like I had written a letter to Oprah and she flew me out to read what I wrote on her show Tracy is like...Oprah to me.

Edit: There have been a lot of threads that have been killed b/c of differing opinions and it not flowing on a sisterly level...It's sad, but it the truth. And I honestly don't know what it would take for things to go back to the way they were in the beginning, save for the concept of exclusivity to be instated...Just a thought...

This was very cute!

 

[SoAnxious12]

I've been here a long time myself and i don't post much. Not due to any drama really, just because its my nature to listen than speak and I've noticed that a lot of my posts don't get that many responses.(i'm probably not bumping them up enough) But the tone is quite different, I think some people here need some humble pie and others need to live and let go. I think that sometimes just saying sorry and letting things go make a lot of things better. Also, i don't think that everytime you see a slight annoyance or something requires a reply. Somethings you should just be able to skip by. But again this is my personal opinion, and everyone does have the right to say what they want because they paid too. But that doesn't mean that what you say doesn't make an impact bigger than your 6.50.

Once again it's just my opinion...

 

[scorpian]

I do miss reading the posts of some of the inspirational members that 1st drew me to the boards They either frequent the other sections of the board or are no longer members

 

[angelbaby]

I don't come here that often so I haven't noticed any of the drama. I haven't been coming here as much because my hair is finally the way I want it, I've stopped searching for the holy hair grail because I have found it and I'm gonna share it with you good folks in this thread and a new thread because it is incredible.

The secret to long, healthy hair?




















SIMPLICITY!!!!!!

The minute I started simplifying my hair routine, my hair stopped breaking and I stopped having to even it so often. The thickness is back, the softness is back, and the length is back. My simplicity secret? Johnson's Head to Toe baby wash and Hello Hydration conditioner. I know it's unbelievable, but it's true.

 

[january noir]

PLEASE!!!!!! pretty please with a cherry on top, ladies let's move on...lets move forward in a more positive direction as was said. I feel like we are family in a way, and I hate to see any family at odds and feeling hurt or disrespected, it's best sometimes to agree or agree to disagree and just MOVE ON. Lately all the bitterness and unhappy words are making me sad and crazy. We shouldn't let past drama keep eating away at us and get in the way of things that are more important. When we overcome challenging experiences and then let go of anything that is not useful, we are greater and stronger. Im about to go back to that happy thread. Im in a good mood and that's somethin I want to PERPETUATE .

On another good note, I will say that I truly LOVE lhcf and I visit this board almost daily. Countless beautiful members here still make me feel:
ENCOURAGED!
UPLIFTED!
EMPOWERED!
ENLIGHTENED!
SUPPORTED!
BLESSED!

AMEN!

 

[tottzu]

If you don’t like what someone is saying. Don’t respond. Take what you need and keep it moving. I have noticed that yes some do constantly stress their beliefs. And if I don’t want to hear it I can skip over their post. But, some don’t. Instead they will constantly post pictures of head bashing, or say how they are tired of hearing it, etc. This is pointless and just aggravates situations. Some will post an icon eating popcorn.. Or remarks that "she gonna get you”! Again, unnecessary and further aggravates the situation. If you aren’t interested or just don’t want to hear it, then move on, no need to respond with catty, nasty and mostly unnecessary remarks or icons.

I see many many posts that I disagree with, some I think are untruthful but why get into an argument about it. I don’t respond to the post. I seldom respond to posts for that very reason so many ladies here are catty and some just plain nasty.

I have seen a few threads where posters are complaining about a product from one of our members and the poster is told to pm the vendor. I think it is of utmost importance that when it is one of our lhcf members is selling a product that is not good or giving bad service that we share it. I believe this is of utmost importance because they the lhcf vendor member is almost given a free pass because we members are anxious to support our own. So, if the service or product is bad we need to know. Now within that complaint thread other members will come in and share their positive and or negative experiences with that vendor thereby informing the rest of us of their experiences, too. Then we can make an informed judgment the same as we do for our non lhcf vendors. They should not be treated differently than other vendors. We are giving them the same hard earned money that we give to non members. If your product is good, then its good and the reviews will speak for themselves. And if not the post gives you notice that you should step it up a notch.

I have seen threads where people are insisting that tones have been used with them. Typed words can be very easily misinterpreted because you can’t hear the tone in the persons voice. I have received emails where I have said huh, sounds like they have an attitude and have asked someone else to read the email and they interpreted it differently. So, don’t take offense. If you do take offense then take a break step away from the keyboard.

So, I guess my bottom line is that you should be able to voice your opinion without being viciously attacked. And if you opinion was not liked/appreciated it does not invalidate your opinion. No, you don’t have to stay in that same thread and keep repeating it, because I agree it was heard. But, do I think you should be silenced in other threads? NO! So, for that thread please let it go. However, you are free to go into another thread and share your feelings, especially if that thread is about your subject that you feel so strongly about.

I also feel that many are too lazy to do they own research and want to be spoon fed their information. I have heard remarks like I am too lazy to read the whole thread, so tell me blah blah blah. Or someone with a “how to” question that clearly has not looked. Or buying stuff and then asking “what do I do with this now” What????? How dangerous is that?. The search function may not work but your mouse works and that is how I have found most of my information. Clicking through the pages, no search function, no goggling just perusing the pages one at a time and then I hit the archives. In fact I have found the most valuable information in the archives. A lot of new bandwagons are really just old bandwagons. I saw someone taking credit for originating an idea that was in the archives 3 years old and by another poster who no longer posts on the board.

Lastly, (I know I am long winded) I have noticed that the majority of the meanest, catties post comes from the newer members that have been here less than 18 months. One new member asked another new member why she only had one post in 4 months Huh? What kind of question was that? Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of catty members here that has been here longer than 18 months, too. But, why when we are here for the same reason, to grow healthy long hair. I have learned a lot since I have been here some I have used and others not.

Sorry for the long post and it was not intended to insult anyone and I have no tone or disrespect directed toward any member.

Much Love,
Tottzu

 

[favorc]

I have to agree. the tone has changed a lot. I was reading a topic in another forum the other day and one lady noticed something (race related) going on with black men and she just wanted to know if anybody else noticed it. i felt like a lot of the ladies on here attacked her. she was simply asking a q. although talking about race is touchy, her question was respectful. Even with hair products and members, people on her are being straight rude.
I really don't give too much advice on here because i don't want someone to point me out because something that works for me doesn't work for them. i just answer pm's and am qick to let people know that my way of doing things my not work for you.
It's sad. I wish we had our old forum back, because i miss the guru's too

 

[Artemis]

Thank you for posting!! Definitely appreciated, and I put in bold the points I want to say "AMEN!!" to...Esp. the last part, I mean how can you be on a discussion board and not actually read any of the info?? erplexed

If you don’t like what someone is saying. Don’t respond. Take what you need and keep it moving. I have noticed that yes some do constantly stress their beliefs. And if I don’t want to hear it I can skip over their post. But, some don’t. Instead they will constantly post pictures of head bashing, or say how they are tired of hearing it, etc. This is pointless and just aggravates situations. Some will post an icon eating popcorn.. Or remarks that "she gonna get you”! Again, unnecessary and further aggravates the situation. If you aren’t interested or just don’t want to hear it, then move on, no need to respond with catty, nasty and mostly unnecessary remarks or icons.

I see many many posts that I disagree with, some I think are untruthful but why get into an argument about it. I don’t respond to the post. I seldom respond to posts for that very reason so many ladies here are catty and some just plain nasty.

I have seen a few threads where posters are complaining about a product from one of our members and the poster is told to pm the vendor. I think it is of utmost importance that when it is one of our lhcf members is selling a product that is not good or giving bad service that we share it. I believe this is of utmost importance because they the lhcf vendor member is almost given a free pass because we members are anxious to support our own. So, if the service or product is bad we need to know. Now within that complaint thread other members will come in and share their positive and or negative experiences with that vendor thereby informing the rest of us of their experiences, too. Then we can make an informed judgment the same as we do for our non lhcf vendors. They should not be treated differently than other vendors. We are giving them the same hard earned money that we give to non members. If your product is good, then its good and the reviews will speak for themselves. And if not the post gives you notice that you should step it up a notch.

I have seen threads where people are insisting that tones have been used with them. Typed words can be very easily misinterpreted because you can’t hear the tone in the persons voice. I have received emails where I have said huh, sounds like they have an attitude and have asked someone else to read the email and they interpreted it differently. So, don’t take offense. If you do take offense then take a break step away from the keyboard.

So, I guess my bottom line is that you should be able to voice your opinion without being viciously attacked. And if you opinion was not liked/appreciated it does not invalidate your opinion. No, you don’t have to stay in that same thread and keep repeating it, because I agree it was heard. But, do I think you should be silenced in other threads? NO! So, for that thread please let it go. However, you are free to go into another thread and share your feelings, especially if that thread is about your subject that you feel so strongly about.

I also feel that many are too lazy to do they own research and want to be spoon fed their information. I have heard remarks like I am too lazy to read the whole thread, so tell me blah blah blah. Or someone with a “how to” question that clearly has not looked. Or buying stuff and then asking “what do I do with this now” What????? How dangerous is that?. The search function may not work but your mouse works and that is how I have found most of my information. Clicking through the pages, no search function, no goggling just perusing the pages one at a time and then I hit the archives. In fact I have found the most valuable information in the archives. A lot of new bandwagons are really just old bandwagons. I saw someone taking credit for originating an idea that was in the archives 3 years old and by another poster who no longer posts on the board.

Lastly, (I know I am long winded) I have noticed that the majority of the meanest, catties post comes from the newer members that have been here less than 18 months. One new member asked another new member why she only had one post in 4 months Huh? What kind of question was that? Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of catty members here that has been here longer than 18 months, too. But, why when we are here for the same reason, to grow healthy long hair. I have learned a lot since I have been here some I have used and others not.

Sorry for the long post and it was not intended to insult anyone and I have no tone or disrespect directed toward any member.

Much Love,
Tottzu

 

[Choklatekiss79]

Thank you I truly appreciate your words in this post. Truly! But no I was personally attacked and tag teamed and all that. I am not just saying that. Why would I go saying such an untruth with a Moderator sitting here watching every post. It actually did happen! and it was very unjust! I am not looking for anyone to share my enthusiasm on this , in fact I knew from the jump thats not how it was going to go and that is not what bothers me. Its that I litterally feel I will have hell to pay (and have already) if I speak up at all at any time even if I feel it to be appropriate bout my feelings on this product. I understand what your saying but its hard to ingore what seems like a swipe at me to others , that turns into pages and pages of making and taking things personal as well as personal attack on my character -and yes that happened!

So now that this has happened, what do you need to move forward? I think you've stated how you feel, but to keep restating it, in response to every post, doesn't move things forward. It just perpetuates the victim role (not that you were or weren't victimized) As someone who read all of the posts in question, I see both sides of this and I think everyone has a valid point. So again, I ask, what needs happen, be written, be typed, whatever, to squash the drama and resolve any hurt feelings?

I come in peace!

 

[Highly Favored8]

Lucia! girl I DONT KNOW what happened, but the whole tone is different! no respect whatsoever! personal attacks when speaking on a product, insults , character attacks, ambushes, Ive seen it all lately. I have never seen lhcf like this! its like its divided now into the 'in crowds' and now there are clicks , no sisterhood whatsoever! Those days seem to be gone! I have been shocked at what goes on here now! Really! and yeah I noticed when I came back around so many of the most beautiful positive ladies that had been here so long, arent around. I miss them and what lhcf used to be! yes this could change lhcf drastically! and many would not want to be here for whats been going on lately! who would?

I totally agree with what is being said whole-heartedly what happened?

 

[Highly Favored8]

I've been noticing a trend lately, actually it's been a while, this is a hair board with spin-off topics and we can all express our opinions, right? Maybe not even the littlest of topics, about haircare methods, product reviews result in the OP getting attacked. I know this is not why the boards came into existence, haven't some of you noticed that alot of the original hair diva's have not been here, either every once in a while or have been totally M.I.A? It's because some negative people are ruining it for the rest of us.

Everyone posts advice or regime's, reggie's according to what works for them, and alot of times those members who have had hair success their techniques seem to work for alot of other members too, that's what I thought this was about, not about getting personal frustrations or jealousies off by attacking someone for their hard earned hair success.
I remember when you could come on here and say that you ruined your hair by going to a scissor happy stylist or got a bad perm, color etc... and you got support and postivie words even cyber hugs, now you can hardly type a word without the feeling that someone or a couple someone's will diss, harass, and ridicule you, your post, and/or your right to post how far you've come in the hair game. Even pics aren't good enough anymore as they are coming under scrutiny even though you clearly see the person's scalp before and after press, perm, etc...

I hope that this kind of climate doesn't drive away all our hair gurus and divas cause then what would be the point of having a hair board if no one's here to give advice from experience, trial and error, and celebrate every and all hair triumphs great-lengths and short-lengths. that's all....

Yes, I feel that I just try to continue to stay very, postive, and encourging, and sister hood, and to continue to dispell the myths of Black hair growth.

 

[anon123]

well....what can we do to bring back the sisterhood that we all once enjoyed????
How can we make everyone feel supported and welcome here?

say something nice thread? didn't we have one of these not too long ago? you can't say anything about yourself, not even in some roundabout slick way, but all positive things going out to others on the board. how about it?

oh, and if anyone is upsetting you unduly, disengage. does lhcf have a block feature. i've only used the block feature twice in all my internet life, but both times i did it got rid of a lot of stress.

 

[JustKiya]

say something nice thread? didn't we have one of these not too long ago? you can't say anything about yourself, not even in some roundabout slick way, but all positive things going out to others on the board. how about it?

oh, and if anyone is upsetting you unduly, disengage. does lhcf have a block feature. i've only used the block feature twice in all my internet life, but both times i did it got rid of a lot of stress.

It does, indeed. Juct click on a persons name, and to the right there is an option to add them to your ignore list.

It does help ease a lot of stress.....

 

[Highly Favored8]

You cannot even PM some one when they put a person on blast here. Then when talk to them in PM mode they go and tell the moderators. However, it is not even like that. You want to at least defend what you are trying to say. Zanna, is a very good friend of mine a beautiful soul. Zanna is in 2003, She was like this is the reason WHY I will not come back to this forum. Now Maceriamour has her own forum and it is really going into the sister-hood. I think it will stay that way b/c a lot of women here did get BURNED and then they left.