What happened to tha sistahood of hair-growing?

[Irresistible]

Well, i want to say there as been some mess but the good definitely out weighs the bad and I don't want you all to let keystrokes keep you from answering all my hair issues. I started spending money on hair in March of this year and all i can say to you all is THANK YOU. Just like in life, everybody is not going to agree but we all can definitely agree to disagree and keep it moving.

Thats what I hope to get to exactly!

 

[HairBarbie]

yeah I am the one always said to be worked up, but it seems to me people are the ones getting worked up that I even have an opinion or state it more times than they like ,even if I am not speaking to them about it, I would just state my opinion and move on, I mean really thats what I intended, but the tag teaming and gag orders and making/taking it personal once I say anything about it at all everytime is what drug it out further. I get worked up over that, because it turns into personal insults and what not.

I dont have to repeat myself to anyone at this point, but if I want to discuss my thoughts/feelings about this product with another member I should not have the whole calvary coming after me turning it into personal insults

and yes thats what really happened!

I agree with this.

It seems like people don't care to hear an "unpopular" opinion anymore. You don't have to agree with everyone, but there's no need for the personal attacks. Just keep it moving and call it a day.
Also, instead of dismissing the way a person feels about something that happened, why not try to understand where they are coming from and why they feel like what was done to them was unjustified?

 

[nodisrespect]

 

[Irresistible]

Irresistible deserves to be heard too, as do all of our members, but I was referring to the OP, Lucia. I understand Irresistible's actions however, when you feel you have been unjustly slighted and not heard you want to redeem yourself. She has agreed to let it go however, so let us do likewise and addreses concerns the OP has brought up, and not just continue to rehash and recontinue the convo from the threads that have been locked.

Thank you for letting me have this platform Enchantment! I needed this!

 

[JustKiya]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in

"whatever you want to know about" site:longhaircareforum.com

will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

 

[shmmr]

I'm new here so I don't have a clue what it was like "back when" but I know that I also am hesitant to post on a random thread, but I will post on the dumb question thread - i figure that one is safe . I think the important question is what can we do to help make it better?

someone started a happy thread a minute ago...

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Great post, JustKiya

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

 

[SUZIEq]

I agree with this! People just need to think before posting and realize that they are not face to face with other members and things they post can be misconstrued for something else. It would not hurt to be nice and if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything.

I also agree with other posters about the cliques and the attention seekers, etc., etc. I see how some members are loved and admired when they post and others are ripped another one sometimes for no apparent reason when they post

Additionally, the natural vs relaxed debates, tones and hostility needs to stop. It has gotten out of hand of late. Part of the reason why I like this board is because I get to learn about relaxed hair so if I ever decide to relax again I'll know what to do.

I like this board a lot and have learned so much and I hope everyone makes an effort to be nice and stick to the focus at hand.

I think we have too many folks trying to be right all the time. Just say what you gotta say and move on. When it is heard over and over and over folks get ticked off and lash out. I am serious about my hair as well as many others but I don't get worked up over other people and what they choose to do. I post what I like and don't and that's it. You don't have to agree with me and I won't try to change your mind so don't do the same with me. If folks would just think before posting, a lot of this stuff could be avoided. Q

 

[nomoweavesfome]

I thought it was just me who felt this. I used to post and gets nooo love. I was like hell I ain't posting. I know starting out my hair was like , but I didn't receive the encouragement I would see other straight up get. I was like wow. That's why when those get up one here distressed about their hair I try to give a word of encouragement becasue if they can't get it out here, then freakin where?????

I believe there is still some positive as well and that will keep us going. I'm glad there are still heads old and new that keep it positive.

i just hate the posts like there are some who will never gro their hair long. (i'm exaggerating but you know where I'm coming from)

well damn - that's real enocuraging

 

[conskeeted]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

This may be just the post a newbie like me needed to hear. When I tell you that the search function has me wanting to pull the hairs out of my TWA... I tell ya. But that Google function may curtail some of my seemingly obvious questions. I would hate that my questions are perceived as "tell me what to do..." but for me personally it's driven by a modicam of fear... I don't want to lose what I already have. And have had experiences where I unknowingly mixed some things together that just SHOULDN'T have been - so i proceed with a LOT of caution. I spend all day on LHCF looking for answers that make sense to me. But on occasion, I have the silly question (thank GOD for that "Can I Ask a Dumb Question" thread). Within minutes I had answers to stuff that seemed pretty daunting to me at first.

Fortunately, so far, I've not gotten the negative vibe on here that was discussed - but it could be the perspective. I've been a part of online communities that started out with the whole family feeling / sister hood / brotherhood and down the line it got to be more flat... just for business... and then catty. In those instances, I cherry pick. If folks insist on being negative, you can't snap them out of it. I take the advice that's given with love and concern and keep it moving.
Revel in the idea that the negativity will thwart their own hair growth....

 

[Cowgirl]

That's why when those get up one here distressed about their hair I try to give a word of encouragement becasue if they can't get it out here, then freakin where?????:

And don't stop doing that......you never know when that word of encouragement will be the hi-light of someone's day.

There will always be not so fresh apples in the barrel.....but for those of you who post your advice from the heart....the rest of us take it as such......so please keep posting and don't be driven into silence.

 

[gymfreak336]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

Just had to Quote this to get it repeated....Tell the truth Kiya, Tell it!

 

[gymfreak336]

I know girl. You see the undercover moves going on up in here again. I thought fair was fair

 

[Enchantmt]

Hopefully, the search feature will be fixed soon. I know it doesnt seem like it, but folx are working on it, and some of the other features as well that were removed because they caused the board to crash.

I realize a lot of the basic questions type stuff is often unanswered, since some feel we have a lot of duplicate questions that have already been answered, but you can also PM folx. Most of the ladies here are very cordial and helpful and can answer questions or direct you to a thread that will. Bev also offered an alternative option to search here:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=245623

 

[JustKiya]

Hopefully, the search feature will be fixed soon. I know it doesnt seem like it, but folx are working on it, and some of the other features as well that were removed because they caused the board to crash.

I realize a lot of the basic questions type stuff is often unanswered, since some feel we have a lot of duplicate questions that have already been answered, but you can also PM folx. Most of the ladies here are very cordial and helpful and can answer questions or direct you to a thread that will. Bev also offered an alternative option to search here:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=245623

I know that those who run this board love it just as much as those who kick it here, so I know ya'll are working hard to get things up & running. *sigh* Another one of my favorite boards had to totally disable the search function - it's a processor suck once places get really big.

Would it be possible to create a sticky in HCT&PRD that details the various 'workarounds' to the search function, including some details on how to work the advanced search, which almost always manages to return results?

I think that would be most helpful.....

 

[january noir]

It's still here.

I love LHCF.

I have read and absorbed incredible knowledge from many, many posters, old heads and new heads, alike. I've given out a few pearls of wisdom myself, I'm proud to say.

I guess I'm different but the MAJORITY of the threads and posts in the hair forum ARE positve. I don't know what it was like before, so I can't speak on that. All I know is that the number of "negative" or disrepectful threads I've seen are few considering this is an internet forum.

Lucia, I'm sorry you, and many others feel the way you do. For me I do feel the sistahood you say you experienced in the past; could be one of my own personal approachs to life.

I appreciate everyone's viewpoint and experiences, even if they are not mine. It can't be this way whether we want it to or not.

I connect with a poster or threads because I can RELATE. Nothing more, nothing less. If I don't, I look elsewhere; there are way too many forums to visit and enjoy oneself. I note the negativity, when it happens, but refuse to become a part of it. I myself have never recalled being bound and gagged over my posted opinions or experiences, so I can't relate.

Not yet anyway.

I am not trying to sugarcoat anyone's personal feelings, it's their world, I'm not living in it. When I do, then I can RELATE. There's sistahood aplenty here. I see it, I feel it, and I am a part of it. No one can take that away from me. No one.

Hold each other tight ladies. There are more sobering, nasty things brewing in the world today, that make our hard feelings null and void.

 

[Enchantmt]

I know that those who run this board love it just as much as those who kick it here, so I know ya'll are working hard to get things up & running. *sigh* Another one of my favorite boards had to totally disable the search function - it's a processor suck once places get really big.

Would it be possible to create a sticky in HCT&PRD that details the various 'workarounds' to the search function, including some details on how to work the advanced search, which almost always manages to return results?

I think that would be most helpful.....

Mook posted this one. Maybe it will help:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=245153

 

[JustKiya]

Mook posted this one. Maybe it will help:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=245153

Oooh, that's perfect!

Could it be made a sticky?

 

[Enchantmt]

Oooh, that's perfect!

Could it be made a sticky?

It's a sticky in the OT forum. I can make a copy of it and move it here.

 

[MrsQueeny]

yeah I am the one always said to be worked up, but it seems to me people are the ones getting worked up that I even have an opinion or state it more times than they like ,even if I am not speaking to them about it, I would just state my opinion and move on, I mean really thats what I intended, but the tag teaming and gag orders and making/taking it personal once I say anything about it at all everytime is what drug it out further. I get worked up over that, because it turns into personal insults and what not.

I dont have to repeat myself to anyone at this point, but if I want to discuss my thoughts/feelings about this product with another member I should not have the whole calvary coming after me turning it into personal insults

and yes thats what really happened!

Honestly I haven't read all the threads surrounding the drama because as I user of MT, I took the time to do the research and got what I needed to proceed. I will say, I was not happy about how the original thread got locked because of negativity. I am not saying you don't have a right to say how you felt but I felt you said it already and it didn't need to be brought into a thread that was focused on a challenge for people who are or were using it at the time. That "to me" was just beating a dead horse.

As far as the personal insults, I think we all have been guilty of that at one time or another whether intentional or not. Me personally, I "try" to avoid stuff that would get me worked up. You seem like you really want it to be known that you were insulted and it is noted. I am sure others felt personally insulted by you as well. This is not a right or wrong this is about perception. Perception for one is reality for another person. We really need to just drop it all and move on. I would be perfect if we could post without folks disagreeing but life isn't like that. I expect when I post something for folks to agree with me, and for some not to. Either way, I will say what I have to and move on. I've learned to pick and choose my battles and it has saved me a lot of time and stress. Take care ladies and happy hair growing. Q

 

[Aggie]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

Another very objective post and I especially love the quote by your teacher JK.

 

[january noir]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

This may be just the post a newbie like me needed to hear. When I tell you that the search function has me wanting to pull the hairs out of my TWA... I tell ya. But that Google function may curtail some of my seemingly obvious questions. I would hate that my questions are perceived as "tell me what to do..." but for me personally it's driven by a modicam of fear... I don't want to lose what I already have. And have had experiences where I unknowingly mixed some things together that just SHOULDN'T have been - so i proceed with a LOT of caution. I spend all day on LHCF looking for answers that make sense to me. But on occasion, I have the silly question (thank GOD for that "Can I Ask a Dumb Question" thread). Within minutes I had answers to stuff that seemed pretty daunting to me at first.

Fortunately, so far, I've not gotten the negative vibe on here that was discussed - but it could be the perspective. I've been a part of online communities that started out with the whole family feeling / sister hood / brotherhood and down the line it got to be more flat... just for business... and then catty. In those instances, I cherry pick. If folks insist on being negative, you can't snap them out of it. I take the advice that's given with love and concern and keep it moving.
Revel in the idea that the negativity will thwart their own hair growth....

These 2 posts are inspiring to me and what I can RELATE to.

 

[JustKiya]

It's a sticky in the OT forum. I can make a copy of it and move it here.

Thank you!!!

 

[Irresistible]

I think some of the issue is that it feels like it's become less of a sisterhood, and more of a parenthood.

Instead of people learning, researching, thinking, and then posing informed questions to fill in the gaps of knowledge they have already attempted to obtain, there are people just asking for the information to be passed to them on a silver platter - and then getting upset when the information that was given to them isn't perfect for their hair.

This is the internet, and despite all best intentions, the person on your side of the screen has to know your hair best.

And then, there seems to be a rash of people trying to dictate what other people do, and not being amiable to the idea that we are all (mostly) grown women, and we will do what we want to do with our hair - and being (mostly) grown women, we are willing and able to handle any consequences, thereof.

I understand that there have always been those who are looked up to on the board, but it seems like there used to be a shared spirit of exploration, and learning, and education, rather than a "do as I do"/"please tell me what to do" attitude.

I don't know. That might just be my perspective on things.

I truly think that the 'attitude' on the board would improve if more people did more reading, and less posting. I know the search function is wonky, but going to google and typing in will return you all of the results on that particular search word. 15 minutes of skipping and skimming through the threads returned will usually leave you with much, much, much, much more information than posting a new thread about it, and expecting all of that historical information/data to be instantly made available to you by others who have made the effort to educate themselves.

I know, on some topics, it's a daunting experience to read even a fraction of the information - but there is a reason that certain topics have mile long threads, and it's because using those products isn't a simple, one size fits all, do my reggie and you'll end up with my hair sort of process.

It's something that has to be individually and consciously tailored to your hair, your scalp, your reggie, your other products - all things that as much as your sisters in hair might want to help you with - in the end, your mind (and hair) MUST be your guide.

As one of my teachers says - Keep your brain with you at all times. But the tongue, you can often leave at home.

Happy Hair Growing, Sisters.

I hope that from here that if I do bring this product up again , my opinion of it to another , at another point in time, when I would feel appropriate that it would not be further taken as me dictating , which I never did ,nor had the power to do , nor the desire , and that it wont be taken as a personal thing against any of you, and that I wont get tag teamed for bringing it up again-not to any of you-but just interacting on a thread with others. You guys are free to post right after me of course if you so choose-respectfully-what you feel/think etc. , as with everything there will always be two sides and my side is not thinking frequent keratin use is totally safe and without risk- and this is not personally against or about any of you-and for those that are using it with no downsides you would obviously be free to say so, none of this has to continue on as against each other.

This is just a post not directed to you Justkiya directly! I should be able to speak on a product-not a person-without anyone coming along speaking against me as a person. In my posts I always try to be fair when speaking about this product and say some are having success with it, but if it comes up and I feel a place to say to that person-I dont feel its without risk-because I feel lead to do so at that moment or whatever-could my right to do so please be respected without it turning personal anymore. as I dont take it personal when anyone says anything positive they feel about it-can we just let it be as its always been-people speaking the positives when they feel lead and people speaking the negatives when they feel lead. I am not invading ya'lls space. I am not up in YOUR thread saying anything to anyone, but could ya'll give me some breathing room to say what I feel about it when I feel I would want to and realize its not against any of you personally!? and that I am not even speaking to you directly in those instances and let this be what its always been an open forum?

 

[Lucky's Mom]

This thread is still going????
Wow. lots of opinions out there.

 

[Evazhair]

Thank you OP, I agree with you and many other things said.I really believe that a lot of the negativity stems from peoples' frustrations with their own situations. It's a shame that too many just have the wrong attitude.

When I found this site, I read and read into the archives until I wanted to search or something and realized that I needed to join and I did.Until then, it didn't really occur to me that there were conversations going on. I was busy researching and soaking up info like a sponge. The members' posts like you, Lonei, Mestiza, Kinicakes, Sareca, Navsegda, Energist, etc. were what attracted me to the site, and your posts helped me to solve my hair issues quickly. I am grateful to you all and want you to know you are appreciated.

 

[SunnyDelight]

You seem like you really want it to be known that you were insulted and it is noted. I am sure others felt personally insulted by you as well. This is not a right or wrong this is about perception. Perception for one is reality for another person. We really need to just drop it all and move on.

I've learned to pick and choose my battles and it has saved me a lot of time and stress. Take care ladies and happy hair growing. Q

BRAVO - very well stated.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

This thread is still going????
Wow. lots of opinions out there.

I have wanted to tell you over the last few days that your braids look really great on you

 

[naijamerican]

I lurk much more often in the hair forum than in the other forums, but I just have to say that after 3 years of being here, I feel like I know people and that they're my friends (even though it's probably not true, lol!). I try to adopt the same philosophy that January talked about. Even so, I do notice a distinct change in some of the debates (natural vs. relaxed, etc.) and agree that some things have changed.

But I'm not here to talk about what we already know to be true. I wanted to piggy-back off of the idea that Fabulosity talked about: having a LHCF day. Specifically, I think it would be great to start planning meet-ups more frequently throughout the country and throughout the year. I think so much tension occurs because we forget that as surely as we're women with thoughts, feelings, opinions, and other things that contextualize why we do what we do and believe what we believe, the other poster is the same way. Perhaps if we met up more often and put a face to the name we would be more inclined to tone it down on the board. I just wanted to return to solutions to the problem because I feel that face-to-face contact will always trump anything that happens in cyberspace, and I really liked Fabulosity's idea.

 

[Enchantmt]

But I'm not here to talk about what we already know to be true. I wanted to piggy-back off of the idea that Fabulosity talked about: having a LHCF day. Specifically, I think it would be great to start planning meet-ups more frequently throughout the country and throughout the year. I think so much tension occurs because we forget that as surely as we're women with thoughts, feelings, opinions, and other things that contextualize why we do what we do and believe what we believe, the other poster is the same way. Perhaps if we met up more often and put a face to the name we would be more inclined to tone it down on the board. I just wanted to return to solutions to the problem because I feel that face-to-face contact will always trump anything that happens in cyberspace, and I really liked Fabulosity's idea.

I dont own a LHCF tshirt (yet) ( I know, I'm naughty) but I think the idea of an LHCF day is great. In fact, it could be once a month, like maybe the third Saturday or something. Carry your cameras, and if you run across a cousin, you can take pics, exchange screen names, and post it in a "Nikos Cousin" thread or something. Just a suggestion.