Violated his cell phone

[Pookie25]

Just recently my new boyfriend of six months had accidently left his cell phone at my house. Being nosy, I went through his phone list and read the in box and out box of his text messages and discovered he is messing with two other women. When I find out, I immediately broke up with him. But my ex boyfriend is making a bigger issue of me invading his privacy, and made an innocent excuse for the two women he was texting in his message. Was I wrong for going through his phone? Is there anyone who would've done the same thing? He said that one of the women was his sister and the other was his cousin. But one of them kept calling him sweetheart. I don't think its common for a cousin or sister to use sweetheart, huh.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

you obviously didn't trust him, that is why you went through his phone, that alone (no trust) is one of the reasons the relationship was not right.
your suspicions were right, but do you feel better now you found out about the other women?

hugs to you, and i hope your not feeling too bad.

 

[**SaSSy**]

That is the excuse they all give when they get caught in their own mess they can't control. Don't believe that cousin, sister, mama, friend, bull cause none of my cousins, or brothers call me sweetheart.

Also with the privacy thing you didn't have to tell him you were breaking up with him cause of that, just say it's not working out and make it seen you have one up on him. Now when you talk to him he going to think of any lie to get you back by saying "they just my sister, or cousin"!

 

[TCatt86]

Why did I just post about this. It's not about whether you did something wrong or not. When you go through someones phone you already don't trust them. I commend you for breaking up with him. Alot of women, myself included, stay. I think you did what was right for you. Ultimately violating his privacy saved you from even more hardship.

 

[Pookie25]

you obviously didn't trust him, that is why you went through his phone, that alone (no trust) is one of the reasons the relationship was not right.
your suspicions were right, but do you feel better now you found out about the other women?

hugs to you, and i hope your not feeling too bad.

Before I went through his phone, there were some hints here and there that told me that he was cheating. But yes, I do feel better knowing that he has other women because we were talking about marriage and him moving in with me. I feel like crap though.
And thank you for your hugs!!

 

[TCatt86]

Before I went through his phone, there were some hints here and there that told me that he was cheating. But yes, I do feel better knowing that he has other women because we were talking about marriage and him moving in with me. I feel like crap though.
And thank you for your hugs!!

((HUGS)) You'll get through it. Just pray about it.

 

[kandyland]

I don't know if I would have broken up with him for that, I guess it just depends on what the text messages said. I think there may have been some trust issues from the start. My BF was signed on to his email one day and of course curiousity got the best of me, I read his outgoing mail and there was an email from a girl. I didn't confront him about it because when I read the email, we were together for almost 2 years but the actual writing of the email happened when we together 5 months and there was no more communication after that. Was I pissed...hell yeah. But really how many people meet someone, become BF/GF and then IMMEDIATELY cut off all ties to people they were talking to. I think there is some overlap. When I say overlap, I don't mean sleeping with someone else but as far as talking on the phone or texting, or emailing, some overlap is expected. I never snooped again because I trust him and you find things that may be nothing. If my BF ever went through my email or text messages, he may want to break up with me because my male friends are very flirtatious, they call me baby, honey but its nothing, these are friends of 10+ years.

 

[Pookie25]

((HUGS)) You'll get through it. Just pray about it.

thank you too, yes i will pray about it.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Just recently my new boyfriend of six months had accidently left his cell phone at my house. Being nosy, I went through his phone list and read the in box and out box of his text messages and discovered he is messing with two other women. When I find out, I immediately broke up with him. But my ex boyfriend is making a bigger issue of me invading his privacy, and made an innocent excuse for the two women he was texting in his message. Was I wrong for going through his phone? Is there anyone who would've done the same thing? He said that one of the women was his sister and the other was his cousin. But one of them kept calling him sweetheart. I don't think its common for a cousin or sister to use sweetheart, huh.

@ the bolded - of course he is. that's him tryin to pull an okie doke.

You were not wrong for going through his phone. He wanted to get caught, that's why he left an object with incriminating evidence at your house.

 

[Pookie25]

I don't know if I would have broken up with him for that, I guess it just depends on what the text messages said. ...

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

 

[Blaque*Angel]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

you should ask him how he was hurting his cousin! they deserve each other, you deserve better.

 

[TCatt86]

the text messages said


"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)[/QUOTE]

No she's a ho because she knew about you and still didn't care. In the end he won't get what he wants out of either one. And how you bring somebody else's man to church.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

the text messages said


"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)[/QUOTE]

No she's a ho because she knew about you and still didn't care. In the end he won't get what he wants out of either one. And how you bring somebody else's man to church.

exactly!!!

 

[NOLA2NY]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

You saved yourself a lifetime of pain. You did the right thing. I know it's painful right now because of the betrayal but....
Look at it this way, you are just one step closer to the MAN God has for you!

 

[chellero]

You've done the right thing by dumping him. The fact that he is focusing on the "phone violation," and not on apologizing for the wrong that he's done and trying desperately to make it up to you just proves that you're better off with out him. And he obviously must think that you're stupid if he's trying to pretend that his cousin was sending those messages. If I were you I'd block his number and kim.

 

[Mommy's girls]

The bolded speaks volumes- He is sleeping with this person(I say person because you dont know if it is a man or woman)

This male, (notice I did not say man) is playing games with you. Not only do you not need to be with this male- You Cant Afford To Be With Him.... Aids is running rampant. Please leave this male alone- the life you save could be your own!!!!!

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

 

[Pookie25]

[/B]

exactly!!!

that confused me too, i wouldn't feel comfortable going to church with someone else's man. But obviously they must have something deep going on if she wants to take him to church. My Goodness!

 

[locabouthair]

Be happy you found out when you did. At least you didn't invest a whole year into the relationship.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

In my opinion you were wrong and you were also right. Here's why.

In general, it's wrong to go through someone's personal things without their permission (sorry, them leaving something around you is not a grant of permission to go through it). That's a violation of trust because a relationship is built upon you trusting each other's word.

However, you had suspicions that were strong enough to the point where you felt your need to know what was going on for the sake of your heart outweighed his right to privacy. In this instance, your decision was the right one - you found out that there was pretty strong evidence that he was cheating on you which allowed you to get away from a man that you couldn't trust.

But what if you would have found nothing in those text messages? Nothing at all to indicate that he was doing anything wrong? Well, then, your suspicions probably aren't going to be enough to redeem your actions in the mind of the other person.

My general rule on this is unless you have a VERY strong feeling or strong indicators that something is NOT right, DO NOT go snooping around in other people's stuff otherwise you can potentially create problems where before there were none.

However, when you DO have very strong feelings that something is wrong, you need to take steps to allay your concerns. No one should be in a relationship where they don't feel secure.

Glad to hear you're able to move on.

 

[filthyfresh]

And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

Nah, that ***** is a hoe. LOL.
I'm so mean, but it's true.
Don't feel bad for calling it like it is.
Granted, you shouldn't snoop.
But if you look for it, you'll find it.
I'm glad you broke up with him though.
Well not glad, but it's good that you made the best choice for you.

 

[TCatt86]

that confused me too, i wouldn't feel comfortable going to church with someone else's man. But obviously they must have something deep going on if she wants to take him to church. My Goodness!

Girl hoes will do all kinds of stuff. Not to say I was never a jumpoff, but I knew not to sashay my hoedom in the house of the Lord.

 

[oglorious1]

If we wasn't hiding anything, you going through his phone shouldn't have been a big deal to him...I've done it, and have no apologies for doing it, I caught him cheating, and spoke to the other girl...so don't feel bad

 

[Covergirl5906]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

cousin? sister? yea right these guys are full of ish....

 

[BAP28]

how you gonna go to church with another woman's man--wtf---tryna be a religious hoe--aint that bout a bleep--ewwwwwww
church doors should close right in their bleeping face as they approach...

 

[Spongie Bloom]

dont feel bad for going thru his fone think of it as a necesary evil it saved YOU from any more heartache survival of the fittest and all that

 

[aja1121]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

I commend you for breaking up, like the other poster stated, so many of us stay. Anyway, don't believe that bull about sister, cousin........the bolded confirms that!

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

HA! Missed opportunity! You shoudla texted the sister and cousin while u had a chance! Soon as he busted out with the "thats my fam" I woulda said well ur fam is NASTY! You humping ur sister! He a liar. Period. Take it as a lesson learned!

If you cant tell I have texted a few "cousins" back only to find out 1 guy was engaged and one guy had 2 other "girlfriends." Bump what you heard, youre nto stupid, go with ur gut. He tryna play games!

 

[kandyland]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

Oh snap, in that case, I'm glad you got out of dodge.

 

[MissScarlett]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

to the first bolded, he's clearly sleeping with her, so what, he's sleeping with his cousin

to the second, if she was a cousin, sister, etc. he could answer his phone if he was at your house

You did the right thing, HOLLA.

 

[Lucie]

the text messages said

From him:

"..so what are you doing tonight. Can I come over after work?"

"It seem like I was hurting you last night?"

"I couldn't answer my phone because I was at my girlfriends"

From her:
" Hey sweet heart, I've been thinking about you all day "

"what do want me to cook when you come over"

"what time does your girlfriend goes to work"

"Is she working on March 23. I was hoping we can go to church together."

these are just a little of the text message. Also I checked the dates and time and he gave me an excuse of "going to bed early or going to the gym" to not be with me.
And the worst part of all this is, I had gave him gas money a few times. I can't believe I was giving him gas money to see another ho, (oops, i mean person)

No, this b!tch did not ask him to go to church with her?!!!! I am sorry you had to find out like this but I KNOW you are better off without him. Yes, you shouldn't have gone through his phone but sometimes you have to go that extra step to protect yourself. Please do not accept any of his calls and move on! You're better off! ((( HUGS )))