beans4reezy
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Great point!
Great point!
VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay....
- Thread starter Crystalicequeen123
- Start date
brucebettye
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Don't let it bother you. I am not natural but texlaxed and I wear my hair curly, kinky, wavy, and big. I get alot of stares and crazy comments from my family, but I don't care. It is my hair and I will do what I want to with it.
Don't let it bother you. I am not natural but texlaxed and I wear my hair curly, kinky, wavy, and big. I get alot of stares and crazy comments from my family, but I don't care. It is my hair and I will do what I want to with it.
equestrian
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I think the only reason other races can grow their hair long is due to the fact that they don't use chemical treatments. I bet if all black people were natural, there would be alot more BSL people walking around. I grew my hair to APL/BSL as a little kid when I was natural without thinking, why is it so hard now that im relaxed?
I think the only reason other races can grow their hair long is due to the fact that they don't use chemical treatments. I bet if all black people were natural, there would be alot more BSL people walking around. I grew my hair to APL/BSL as a little kid when I was natural without thinking, why is it so hard now that im relaxed?
gymfreak336
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
One of the most popular comments is "You gonna wear a fro?" Short afros are deemed as the only option for natural hair, especially when you don't have 3b-c hair. That is one reason why I can't blame people for wanting to transition for 18 months before chopping their hair off, especially if you have grown your relaxed hair out nice and long before your transition. The length is more frightening than the texture most of the time. There is a chick on my campus that has 3c-4a type hair and it is nearly waistlength. She wears it blown out most of the time and on her little body, it's just a massive amount of hair. It's impressive and it makes heads turn.
If there was a way to bc today and be Reniece status by december, most people would cut their hair off today.
One of the most popular comments is "You gonna wear a fro?" Short afros are deemed as the only option for natural hair, especially when you don't have 3b-c hair. That is one reason why I can't blame people for wanting to transition for 18 months before chopping their hair off, especially if you have grown your relaxed hair out nice and long before your transition. The length is more frightening than the texture most of the time. There is a chick on my campus that has 3c-4a type hair and it is nearly waistlength. She wears it blown out most of the time and on her little body, it's just a massive amount of hair. It's impressive and it makes heads turn. If there was a way to bc today and be Reniece status by december, most people would cut their hair off today.
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
You are so right! If we could get the media propaganda machine out of the way we would see that it is brainwashing us all not just AA women. If you notice a lot of white women dye their hair blonde and wouldn't be caught dead seen with their natural hair color. I think it comes down to that blonde hair, blue eyed aryan dream that the powers that be have. They will have us all reach for that goal in one way or another. Sad.
This is not to say that all who relax are brainwashed (I was BKTing for a while) but before coming here I did have a complex with my hair and I would have the stylist leave the relaxer on for as long as it took to get the straight white hair. Again, sad. I still like to wear my hair straight sometimes but I am certainly not ashamed anymore to wear my natural texture and I must say that it is very liberating (well not the SSKs and tangles-but that's a topic for another thread, lol
).
You are so right! If we could get the media propaganda machine out of the way we would see that it is brainwashing us all not just AA women. If you notice a lot of white women dye their hair blonde and wouldn't be caught dead seen with their natural hair color. I think it comes down to that blonde hair, blue eyed aryan dream that the powers that be have. They will have us all reach for that goal in one way or another. Sad.
This is not to say that all who relax are brainwashed (I was BKTing for a while) but before coming here I did have a complex with my hair and I would have the stylist leave the relaxer on for as long as it took to get the straight white hair. Again, sad
. I still like to wear my hair straight sometimes but I am certainly not ashamed anymore to wear my natural texture and I must say that it is very liberating (well not the SSKs and tangles-but that's a topic for another thread, lol).
Creatividual
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I agree with this. I don't have many negative reactions to my natural hair at all. People of all races compliment me on my hair and I haven't met a black man yet, that didn't like it and my hair is 4a, which is beautiful of course but isn't what is coveted stereotypically as "good hair". But it could be regional. I live in New York City and there are tons of naturals walking around.
I think what it is too is a lot of people don't realize how versatile and beautiful afro textured hair is until they see GOOD examples of it. They have a one dimensional view of it as a dry "afro". I used to be one of those people until I found beautiful naturals on here, Fotki, and YouTube and then my outlook changed dramatically so much so that I'm now natural and loving it! So don't be discouraged. Be encouraged and be a daily living example to people how beautiful afro textured hair truly is.
I agree with this. I don't have many negative reactions to my natural hair at all. People of all races compliment me on my hair and I haven't met a black man yet, that didn't like it and my hair is 4a, which is beautiful of course but isn't what is coveted stereotypically as "good hair". But it could be regional. I live in New York City and there are tons of naturals walking around.
I think what it is too is a lot of people don't realize how versatile and beautiful afro textured hair is until they see GOOD examples of it. They have a one dimensional view of it as a dry "afro". I used to be one of those people until I found beautiful naturals on here, Fotki, and YouTube and then my outlook changed dramatically so much so that I'm now natural and loving it! So don't be discouraged. Be encouraged and be a daily living example to people how beautiful afro textured hair truly is.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
BINGO!!!
I think this is true also to some extent. In fact, when I see black girls with long THICK hair past BSL, it's USUALLY a girl who is natural. I've just been observing some of the heads of hair that I've seen lately. Relaxed ladies can grown BSL hair too, but whenever I see extraordinary length on black women, I usually notice that they are natural heads who just straighten. Black people HAVE the ability to grow long NATURAL hair. Sure, it may take a little more work and effort, but it CAN be done. We just have to be educated about our hair and what personally works for each of us individually. Look at Diana Ross, Bre (from ANTM), Yaya (another ANTM), Holly Robinson Pete, etc. The list goes on and on and there are too many to name at the moment.
It's the harsh chemicals that are sometimes the culprit. I'm not saying that when you have a relaxer you can't grow your hair long. The many lovely ladies here on LHCF have proven that you can grow LONG relaxed hair. But you can also grow LONG natural hair too! It's all about retaining length. Our hair DOES grow.
Yet another GREAT point!
I think people just haven't seen enough GOOD examples of ladies with well-taken-care-of, healthy, long natural afro-hair IRL, so they automatically assume that if you go "natural", your hair will look dry, busted, or short.
Honestly, I used to have that misconception as well until I did more RESEARCH.
TBH, I don't even fault AA ladies too much if their natural hair does not look well taken care of. Honestly, this country has not really been "pro-natural Afro hair". So it's not surprising that many of us AA ladies don't know how to care for our own natural hair.
What's most surprising (or sad actually) to me is that just about everyone is FOR this pill! People who have commented are almost giddy with excitement! "When is this pill coming out?" "Can I participate in a case test study?" People don't even know what types of side-effects this pill may cause, but yet they're just so happy to finally be able to have "natural" straight hair growing from their scalp due to a pill that they don't even care what this is new technology is doing and perhaps is changing the internal makeup of their genes who knows?? Ugh....it really is sad. 
BINGO!!!
I think this is true also to some extent. In fact, when I see black girls with long THICK hair past BSL, it's USUALLY a girl who is natural. I've just been observing some of the heads of hair that I've seen lately. Relaxed ladies can grown BSL hair too, but whenever I see extraordinary length on black women, I usually notice that they are natural heads who just straighten. Black people HAVE the ability to grow long NATURAL hair. Sure, it may take a little more work and effort, but it CAN be done. We just have to be educated about our hair and what personally works for each of us individually. Look at Diana Ross, Bre (from ANTM), Yaya (another ANTM), Holly Robinson Pete, etc. The list goes on and on and there are too many to name at the moment. It's the harsh chemicals that are sometimes the culprit. I'm not saying that when you have a relaxer you can't grow your hair long. The many lovely ladies here on LHCF have proven that you can grow LONG relaxed hair.
But you can also grow LONG natural hair too! It's all about retaining length. Our hair DOES grow. Yet another GREAT point!
I think people just haven't seen enough GOOD examples of ladies with well-taken-care-of, healthy, long natural afro-hair IRL, so they automatically assume that if you go "natural", your hair will look dry, busted, or short.
Honestly, I used to have that misconception as well until I did more RESEARCH. TBH, I don't even fault AA ladies too much if their natural hair does not look well taken care of. Honestly, this country has not really been "pro-natural Afro hair".
So it's not surprising that many of us AA ladies don't know how to care for our own natural hair. Apparently this may be possible. I'm sure there are folks the the hook up who are probably taking this. sad
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/BeautySecrets/story?id=1325274
What's most surprising (or sad actually) to me is that just about everyone is FOR this pill! People who have commented are almost giddy with excitement!
"When is this pill coming out?" "Can I participate in a case test study?" People don't even know what types of side-effects this pill may cause, but yet they're just so happy to finally be able to have "natural" straight hair growing from their scalp due to a pill that they don't even care what this is new technology is doing and perhaps is changing the internal makeup of their genes who knows?? Ugh....it really is sad.
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Avaya
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Yeah, it is like a black woman can wear her hair natural but if it is more than 3 inches long, she is expected to keep it straightened thermally. I've hear more than a handful of BLACK women say how they "can't stand no nappy head
". Black people are so damaged 
.
....but when it comes to "us" as black women, people get all up in arms o
UGh.....it's just really disheartening. Other women (white, asian, hispanic, indian, etc) can all wear their natural hair and have it grow healthy and long w/out the use of chemicals (if they chose) and nobody says a PEEP! But let a black woman do this, and oh boy....you would think World War 3 has started.
Yeah, it is like a black woman can wear her hair natural but if it is more than 3 inches long, she is expected to keep it straightened thermally. I've hear more than a handful of BLACK women say how they "can't stand no nappy head
". Black people are so damaged .
Soliel185
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I could have sworn I wrote this when I read your response
The only difference is I live in AZ so there aren't many naturals - particularly those with BIG hair like mine. Between the Hispanic and Native population I think I'm surrounded by the largest concentration of naturally stick straight hair in the continental U.S.
But I've had very VERY few people say anything negative about my hair (to my face)-- and that was my Mom in the beginning, and nowadays she calls me regularly to ask me about how she can get her hair like mine.
The worst I get is the stares that look like 
nono:
. I smile at them and KIM. Today I was in the breakroom and a woman I'd never met before said
" I see you all the time and I always meant to tell you how much I love your hair."
I'm very conscious of being a "good" example. It if weren't for the ones I saw while transitioning I wouldn't have made it. I want to be one of those examples for women and girls now that need the extra mental boost to make that decision. I HATE crunchy hair b/c I want people to be shocked and amazed by how soft it is. When the wind blows and it flops around I look at all the astonished faces and grin b/c until then none of them knew it moved either. I used to feel like a zoo animal, but now I stand up a little straighter and I show it off. I think that as a black woman if you see another black woman with beautiful natural hair getting all this favorable attention and enjoying herself it gives you the courage to understand being natural isn't just going to be people looking at you bug-eyed or giving you nasty comments all day. They see they can be sexy, confident, beautiful, admired, and chic with natural hair just as they can with straight hair, if not more so.
I could have sworn I wrote this when I read your response
The only difference is I live in AZ so there aren't many naturals - particularly those with BIG hair like mine. Between the Hispanic and Native population I think I'm surrounded by the largest concentration of naturally stick straight hair in the continental U.S.
But I've had very VERY few people say anything negative about my hair (to my face)-- and that was my Mom in the beginning, and nowadays she calls me regularly to ask me about how she can get her hair like mine.
The worst I get is the stares that look like nono:. I smile at them and KIM. Today I was in the breakroom and a woman I'd never met before said" I see you all the time and I always meant to tell you how much I love your hair."
I'm very conscious of being a "good" example. It if weren't for the ones I saw while transitioning I wouldn't have made it. I want to be one of those examples for women and girls now that need the extra mental boost to make that decision. I HATE crunchy hair b/c I want people to be shocked and amazed by how soft it is. When the wind blows and it flops around I look at all the astonished faces and grin b/c until then none of them knew it moved either.
I used to feel like a zoo animal, but now I stand up a little straighter and I show it off. I think that as a black woman if you see another black woman with beautiful natural hair getting all this favorable attention and enjoying herself it gives you the courage to understand being natural isn't just going to be people looking at you bug-eyed or giving you nasty comments all day. They see they can be sexy, confident, beautiful, admired, and chic with natural hair just as they can with straight hair, if not more so.
DMJ's Mom
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I can honestly say that 98% of my natural hair journey has been positive. The only downside was my ex fiancee. We used to get into screaming matches because I told him that I would flatiron my hair but he claimed that it wouldn't get it straight enough. That's a large reason I dropped him I've gotten a few dirty looks but otherwise its been great I let the negative roll off
I can honestly say that 98% of my natural hair journey has been positive. The only downside was my ex fiancee. We used to get into screaming matches because I told him that I would flatiron my hair but he claimed that it wouldn't get it straight enough. That's a large reason I dropped him I've gotten a few dirty looks but otherwise its been great I let the negative roll off
Sugar
Active Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
That's not really accurate. Most of my non-black friends have chemically treated hair...usually hair color or the japanese straightening treatment, therefore they're not natural either. But they don't make a big deal about the whole natural thing. Funny, there was a time when it was taboo for them to admit to coloring their hair...the whole "does she, or doesn't she" thing.
That's not really accurate. Most of my non-black friends have chemically treated hair...usually hair color or the japanese straightening treatment, therefore they're not natural either. But they don't make a big deal about the whole natural thing. Funny, there was a time when it was taboo for them to admit to coloring their hair...the whole "does she, or doesn't she" thing.
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Yeah , I had this issue. I always wanted to be natural, but never thought I could because of my lack of knowledge on how to care for my hair. This led me to a series of 9 BCs.
I was so angry at my lack of knowledge. Now, I can say that I love my natural hair and I let no one influence it. Some friends think I'll be relaxing again, but I'll show them! The one thing I needed was confidence that my hair was going to be gorgeous. Most other women who wear their natural hair also love it. Confidence and TLC is the key. I am taking my time to learn how to achieve styles that I never could do my past natural journeys.
Yeah , I had this issue. I always wanted to be natural, but never thought I could because of my lack of knowledge on how to care for my hair. This led me to a series of 9 BCs.
I was so angry at my lack of knowledge. Now, I can say that I love my natural hair and I let no one influence it. Some friends think I'll be relaxing again, but I'll show them! The one thing I needed was confidence that my hair was going to be gorgeous. Most other women who wear their natural hair also love it. Confidence and TLC is the key. I am taking my time to learn how to achieve styles that I never could do my past natural journeys.
growth2come
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I BC in 2005 and havent looked back! I have also inspired one of my sisters to go natural and my young sister even though not natural I have taught her that she doesnt have to relax her her as often as 4 weeks. I didnt experience any redicule from my family or friends they are more curious about how I was going to take care of my natural hair. This all stems from lack of education about taking care of our "natural/real" hair.
I BC in 2005 and havent looked back! I have also inspired one of my sisters to go natural and my young sister even though not natural I have taught her that she doesnt have to relax her her as often as 4 weeks. I didnt experience any redicule from my family or friends they are more curious about how I was going to take care of my natural hair. This all stems from lack of education about taking care of our "natural/real" hair.
DigitalRain
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
One of my coworkers made a comment about the nappy hair of a family member of one of my patients. The woman actually had a beautiful blown out afro puff. So I made a point to stare hard at the visible glued on tracks of weave in her busted head.
Its sad that the majority of black folks just cannot find their natural hair as acceptable and normal. I love healthy relaxed hair just as much as natural hair. I wish our people could just get over the natural hair hate.
I do understand our history has a lot to do with the stigma of natural hair.
One of my coworkers made a comment about the nappy hair of a family member of one of my patients. The woman actually had a beautiful blown out afro puff. So I made a point to stare hard at the visible glued on tracks of weave in her busted head.
Its sad that the majority of black folks just cannot find their natural hair as acceptable and normal. I love healthy relaxed hair just as much as natural hair. I wish our people could just get over the natural hair hate.
I do understand our history has a lot to do with the stigma of natural hair.
Lola Laughs
Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Well said! Length is beginning to trump texture in that regard. I'm seeing more and more textured and kinky weaves.
Well said! Length is beginning to trump texture in that regard. I'm seeing more and more textured and kinky weaves.
jem_mcmillan
Active Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I am so glad this topic was brought up. I went natural about 10 years ago and have not regretted it. As another poster stated, the reactions you get depend on where you live. Especially in my case. In NYC I had no problem and got compliments all the time. I moved to Oklahoma it was a different story. At one point I was job hunting and was getting no follow up interviews. A friend told me to put my hair in a bun because my natural hair could be viewed as "militant" to employers. I thought she was joking but put my hair in a bun for the next couple of interviews. I was offered all those positions. Of course once I started working, I wore my hair down. My ex boyfriend was always on my back to perm or throw a weave in my hair. He did not last long. The topper was on the last day of class, an AA sista approached me about my hair. She wanted to go natural BUT her boyfriend said if she did he would break up with her. She went on to explain that she told him you do realize that this is not my natural hair? His response "well I don't do nappy". I told her it sounds like she needs to find a new man if she can not be herself around him. I still get compliments here but never from the brothas. It is so sad.
I am so glad this topic was brought up. I went natural about 10 years ago and have not regretted it. As another poster stated, the reactions you get depend on where you live. Especially in my case. In NYC I had no problem and got compliments all the time. I moved to Oklahoma it was a different story. At one point I was job hunting and was getting no follow up interviews. A friend told me to put my hair in a bun because my natural hair could be viewed as "militant" to employers. I thought she was joking but put my hair in a bun for the next couple of interviews. I was offered all those positions. Of course once I started working, I wore my hair down. My ex boyfriend was always on my back to perm or throw a weave in my hair. He did not last long. The topper was on the last day of class, an AA sista approached me about my hair. She wanted to go natural BUT her boyfriend said if she did he would break up with her. She went on to explain that she told him you do realize that this is not my natural hair? His response "well I don't do nappy". I told her it sounds like she needs to find a new man if she can not be herself around him. I still get compliments here but never from the brothas. It is so sad.
BlkOnyx488
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
@ the bolded
I don't know about Society but I do know the person who attempts to give me the biggest grief about my hair, is the same person who had someone put a curly kit in my hair when I was 4
Honestly, I believe it's the people we are closest to that have the worst things to say. when I rock my fro in public, I get all sorts of compliments from other races.
I think now adays we do it to our selves, we tell ourselves we can't get a job if we have a fro, or braids or look "too ethnic" it's not "professional"
I believe the more WE embrace our natural folicals the more other people will too.
This is why I don't like to wear crochet braids, I don't want to give the impression that I am ashamed of my natural hair. So when someone compliments my weave, I say thanks I am just protecting my beautiful fro from the wind damage
I try to make a point to compliment a Sista when I see a healthy head of natural hair
@ the bolded
I don't know about Society but I do know the person who attempts to give me the biggest grief about my hair, is the same person who had someone put a curly kit in my hair when I was 4
Honestly, I believe it's the people we are closest to that have the worst things to say. when I rock my fro in public, I get all sorts of compliments from other races.
I think now adays we do it to our selves, we tell ourselves we can't get a job if we have a fro, or braids or look "too ethnic" it's not "professional"
I believe the more WE embrace our natural folicals the more other people will too.
This is why I don't like to wear crochet braids, I don't want to give the impression that I am ashamed of my natural hair
. So when someone compliments my weave, I say thanks I am just protecting my beautiful fro from the wind damageI try to make a point to compliment a Sista when I see a healthy head of natural hair
..
Okay....I'm done with my vent... *sigh* I just don't get it. I mean, when you look at it abstractly, why would people want to deter or discourage you from wearing the hair that naturally grows from your scalp? Have we been that conditioned in society to think that our hair is so "ugly", "difficult to manage", etc that we can't even be happy for one another when one makes the decision to stop putting harsh chemicals in their hair?
Mizz Diamonds
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I was on BGLH and found this about women who were denied job becasue their hair is loced
http://bglhonline.com/2010/04/two-women-denied-jobs-at-six-flags-theme-park-because-of-locs/
I was on BGLH and found this about women who were denied job becasue their hair is loced
http://bglhonline.com/2010/04/two-women-denied-jobs-at-six-flags-theme-park-because-of-locs/
westNDNbeauty
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I think that there are an abundance of NOT SO GOOD examples out there of natural hair that when someone says "I'm going natural", that picture of the sista with the rough, jacked up, unconditioned natural hair pops into the majority of peoples' mind and they immediately assume that you hair will too appear that way. So when people see the baby 'fros growing, they can foresee the beautiful head of thick, full, healthy hair (if she takes care of it) that it will become.
Also, I agree with OP that people are conditioned to think our hair should be straight. I once had a guy say to me "They make perms don't they, why don't you use one." ...This same idiot had the same neck length kinky hair on his head that I did. I wanted to tell him "They make clippers don't they, why don't you use one!" Boy that dude is ignorant!
I could have sworn I wrote this when I read your response
The only difference is I live in AZ so there aren't many naturals - particularly those with BIG hair like mine. Between the Hispanic and Native population I think I'm surrounded by the largest concentration of naturally stick straight hair in the continental U.S.
But I've had very VERY few people say anything negative about my hair (to my face)-- and that was my Mom in the beginning, and nowadays she calls me regularly to ask me about how she can get her hair like mine.
" I see you all the time and I always meant to tell you how much I love your hair."
I'm very conscious of being a "good" example. It if weren't for the ones I saw while transitioning I wouldn't have made it. I want to be one of those examples for women and girls now that need the extra mental boost to make that decision. I HATE crunchy hair b/c I want people to be shocked and amazed by how soft it is. When the wind blows and it flops around I look at all the astonished faces and grin b/c until then none of them knew it moved either.
I think that there are an abundance of NOT SO GOOD examples out there of natural hair that when someone says "I'm going natural", that picture of the sista with the rough, jacked up, unconditioned natural hair pops into the majority of peoples' mind and they immediately assume that you hair will too appear that way. So when people see the baby 'fros growing, they can foresee the beautiful head of thick, full, healthy hair (if she takes care of it) that it will become.
Also, I agree with OP that people are conditioned to think our hair should be straight. I once had a guy say to me "They make perms don't they, why don't you use one." ...This same idiot had the same neck length kinky hair on his head that I did. I wanted to tell him "They make clippers don't they, why don't you use one!" Boy that dude is ignorant!
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Black men who say they hate nappy hair are such hypocrites. What do they have on their heads? If I were single and my man said he'd leave me if I go natural, I'd tell him to get to stepping. It's just so ridiculous.
Black men who say they hate nappy hair are such hypocrites. What do they have on their heads?
If I were single and my man said he'd leave me if I go natural, I'd tell him to get to stepping. It's just so ridiculous.
blkbuttahflyy
Loc'd 12/04 ~ 07/12.
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Wow! I've never encountered any negative comments, well, at least not to my face, when I went natural back in 1996, but I did hear one off-the-wall comment after I cut my hair and decided to grow locs. It was from my son's father. He said he liked my hair 'the other way.' I told him I liked him when he had a brain.
I'm more surprised now by my friends who've transitioned, then one day pop up with a fresh relaxer or cut off 10 years worth of locs! But it's their hair, so I don't care what they do with it.
Wow! I've never encountered any negative comments, well, at least not to my face, when I went natural back in 1996, but I did hear one off-the-wall comment after I cut my hair and decided to grow locs. It was from my son's father. He said he liked my hair 'the other way.' I told him I liked him when he had a brain.
I'm more surprised now by my friends who've transitioned, then one day pop up with a fresh relaxer or cut off 10 years worth of locs! But it's their hair, so I don't care what they do with it.
darlingdiva
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Chelz, your post reminds me so much of my mother. After I had stopped getting my hair pressed, my mother always made negative comments about my hair. She said that I looked like Buckwheat and that my un-pressed hair sent a negative message.
Her negative comments stopped when my hair got longer and I learned how to style it better.
I have an old family member who is always saying "Oh my nappy head"
Then when she straightens it with an old fashion pressing comb she always complains that her hair isnt flat enough or straight enough. Well its not meant to be flat so thats why it wont stay flat!! She wants me to go to a hair stylist just to to get my hair pressed...ummmm noooo, and if I wanted it fried dyed and laid to tha side, I have a flat iron that I can dust off,thanks.Idk, older black women just irk me sometimes with the whole pressing comb thing...I feel bad for her because she has never learned how to properly take care of her hair and never will because she is stuck in the old ways...
Like all she uses is shampoo and Dax pressing oil...
Chelz, your post reminds me so much of my mother. After I had stopped getting my hair pressed, my mother always made negative comments about my hair. She said that I looked like Buckwheat and that my un-pressed hair sent a negative message.
Her negative comments stopped when my hair got longer and I learned how to style it better.
runwaydream
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
i can SO relate to this. and i dont even wear my natural hair out! i had always had long (for a blk girl) hair so when i BC'd i decided to wear braids until my hair grew out b/c i wouldnt be able to look at myself w. hair that short.
but that doesn't matter, b.c my family KNOWS im natural, and they have seen my natural hair once or twice when i've taken my hair down b4 i put braids back in. it seems like the questions and insults never end. every other day im being asked 'what are you gonna do w. your hair?' so for the millionth time i say 'nothing, im just gonna leave it natural.' and my response almost always met w. a look of disgust and the comment 'natural?! you mean you're gonna leave your hair nappy and grainy like that?!'
then the 'advice' thrown at me about how im too young to let myself go like that, im not even married yet, im never gonna get a man, and
oh! and lets not forget them ALWAYS asking me why am i doing this! like i've decided to commit mass murder or something. my God...
it gets VERY aggravating, and VERY frustrating, and its to the point where i dont think im going to wear my hair out afterall. i might wait until i can get a job and move out before i stop rockin my braids. i mean if they're acting like this now and they hardly ever see my hair, just imagine how they'll act seeing it everyday.
this is beyond aggravating, esp since after i BC'd a yr and a half ago, im now back to having my hair be longer than everyone in my direct family. my mom, my aunt, and my grandma have hardly any hair. my grandma is understandable cause she's old, but my aunt's hair is so bad she has to wear wigs, and my moms hair is falling out. mine is healthy and will get to BSB by next month, if it's not already there. so CLEARLY i know what im doing. but no one seems to take that into consideration!
*takes a deep breath* sorry...end rant
i can SO relate to this. and i dont even wear my natural hair out! i had always had long (for a blk girl) hair so when i BC'd i decided to wear braids until my hair grew out b/c i wouldnt be able to look at myself w. hair that short.
but that doesn't matter, b.c my family KNOWS im natural, and they have seen my natural hair once or twice when i've taken my hair down b4 i put braids back in. it seems like the questions and insults never end. every other day im being asked 'what are you gonna do w. your hair?' so for the millionth time i say 'nothing, im just gonna leave it natural.' and my response almost always met w. a look of disgust and the comment 'natural?! you mean you're gonna leave your hair nappy and grainy like that?!'
then the 'advice' thrown at me about how im too young to let myself go like that, im not even married yet, im never gonna get a man, and
oh! and lets not forget them ALWAYS asking me why am i doing this! like i've decided to commit mass murder or something. my God...
it gets VERY aggravating, and VERY frustrating, and its to the point where i dont think im going to wear my hair out afterall. i might wait until i can get a job and move out before i stop rockin my braids. i mean if they're acting like this now and they hardly ever see my hair, just imagine how they'll act seeing it everyday.
this is beyond aggravating, esp since after i BC'd a yr and a half ago, im now back to having my hair be longer than everyone in my direct family. my mom, my aunt, and my grandma have hardly any hair. my grandma is understandable cause she's old, but my aunt's hair is so bad she has to wear wigs, and my moms hair is falling out. mine is healthy and will get to BSB by next month, if it's not already there. so CLEARLY i know what im doing. but no one seems to take that into consideration!
*takes a deep breath* sorry...end rant
SimpleKomplexity
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
I was sitting with a girl from Nepal the other day and she was telling us how hard "our" hair is to manage and how it will never be straight it always looks like a frizzy mess without relaxers.
I just got a replaxer and decided to flat iron my hair straight.....she told me I look soooo pretty and a lot different from my curly styles (rollersets)
It just made me sit back and think....who said straight was "in". Who said limp was in? And when did Relaxed or Natural...just African American hair period get "out"? This is rediculous
I was sitting with a girl from Nepal the other day and she was telling us how hard "our" hair is to manage and how it will never be straight it always looks like a frizzy mess without relaxers.
I just got a replaxer and decided to flat iron my hair straight.....she told me I look soooo pretty and a lot different from my curly styles (rollersets)
It just made me sit back and think....who said straight was "in". Who said limp was in? And when did Relaxed or Natural...just African American hair period get "out"? This is rediculous
SvelteVelvet
Well-Known Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
Yep, the world is THAT conditioned. Especially our own.
Yep, the world is THAT conditioned. Especially our own.
illuminatiamerica
Active Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
african women are the only women in the world who go and buy another nationality's texture and glue/sew it in their hair. i've never seen a white or asian or hispanic woman out in public wearing kinky weave (NEVER!!!)
i've seen white men and women with locks, but it was their own hair locked
do we need psychoanalysis?
african women are the only women in the world who go and buy another nationality's texture and glue/sew it in their hair. i've never seen a white or asian or hispanic woman out in public wearing kinky weave (NEVER!!!)
i've seen white men and women with locks, but it was their own hair locked
do we need psychoanalysis?
*Muffin*
New Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
This post was on point! You hit the nail right on the head, IMO.
This post was on point! You hit the nail right on the head, IMO.
anahnamuslyyours
Active Member
Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.
What's most sad to me is that they've been able to come up with this pill but not a cure for cancer or AIDS. SMDHWhat's most surprising (or sad actually) to me is that just about everyone is FOR this pill! People who have commented are almost giddy with excitement!
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