VENT!! Sick and Tired of Guys Trying to Pressure Me Into Having Sex!!!

[Soleado]

Cincysweetie,

You are not the only whose going through this. This lady is having the same problem as you are but the man is very active in the church. He's an usher, sang on the choir and goes to bible study every week. But he wants her to drop the draws. Can you believe that?!

You would think people who are involved in the church are celibate. Supposedly, anyway.[/quote]

Who told you people in church are celibate? My FREAKY friend is "active" at her church in more ways than one.

Yes, there are single folks in the church who are sexually active. As a professing Christian, it has always disturbed me that people who claim to be Christians can be consistently sexually active and not even bat an eye. Bottomline, the church is filled with a wide variety of people and not all of them are christians, even if they claim to be so. The Bible makes that VERY clear.

On another note, it is a sad, sad, day that we have come to that sex is looked at as a right and expectation in the dating circles.

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

I have to vent...I am so frustrated right now I don't even know where to begin...so if this sounds random and choppy I apologize b/c a lot is running through my mind right now. Breathe...okay, so I'm not saying I'm a goody good by any means, I'm not necessarily waiting for my husband to come along before I have sex again (I am not a virgin)...but I just DO NOT care to have sex right now at this time in my life. I don't want to have a booty call or a random hook up and I def. don't want to be having sex with someone who I am not seriously involved with. But for some reason I keep meeting these guys who can't understand this and actually have had the nerve to 1.) Try to pressure me into sleeping with them and 2.) Have actually quit talking to me b/c I WON'T sleep with them!!

This has happened between me and 3 different guys since April. I am 24 years old, the first one was 37, the second was my age, and the 3rd (the one that just sent me over the top) is 30. I can't for the life of me understand why a grown man is playing these childish games..."If you don't sleep with me I won't talk to you anymore"...that sounds so high-school-ish. If anything, I would think an older, more mature man would be more understanding of the fact that in this day and age I don't want to just hop into the sack with anyone. And on top of it all, 2 of the 3 weren't even trying to put in any work...they literally thought I should just give it up b/c they wanted to.

I am not trying to play hard to get, I'm just choosing to be choosey with my body and my heart. Is there something that is so wrong with that? With the first 2 I just said whatever and cut them off, but this last one...I had to give him a piece of my mind...which on the one hand I feel I should've left alone, on the other hand I'm glad I told him to **** OFF!! Feedback please...

You sound so much like me a few months ago...then I woke up. Men can not do anything I do not allow them to do. MOST men...not all..but MOST are going to try. Today lots of women are giving it up...and giving up allot more than sex...me...I aint the one. Don't get me wrong...I am not a goody two shoes either..but I feel as though sex should be shared between a couple that shares something special. So now...I do not come out the gate explaining that I don't want to have sex...I dont tell them what I will and will not do anymore...I just do it. If he calls me at 11 pm on a night and I KNOW that "frisky time" I don't answer. Whatever he has to tell me can wait til morning and SURELY he is not calling to try to take me out that late. No more "dating" by sitting in my house or his...if you want to get to know me..let's get out so we can do that. Doesn't mean it has to be about money...heck we can go to the park and walk and talk. I noticed that when I started changing the way I did little things...there was not as much frustration there. Now don't get it twisted some of them still tried...but...they could only try so much. A man can and will ONLY do what you allow them to do...and like a wise woman tells me all the time...you teach people how to treat you...Men are very much included.
So exhale girly! You are just too hot for those little slut puppies! You are just going to have to put your foot on their foreheads and turn them away!

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

and another point i have... My husband, on our first time meeting. He asked why i was still single. I told him i'm very busy in school/working, and plus I dont believe in casual sex. then i waited for him to run for the door. but to my surprise, he took it in and he said he respects that. And he acted very respectful. No sexual comments or pressure. When we started fooling around, i always felt comfortable to stop before things started popping off.

Another story... my sis is currently dating, and she is casually dating 2 guys. She says she just acts really cool with them, and just enjoy their company and laughing. and she said that both of the guys told her that they were surprised and refreshed by her personality. they said most girls always feel the need to text something sexual or have sexual conversations just to see what the guy will say. And both of them are very handsome men. So i think that good guys have the same problem. Wanting a mate with some substance, yet all they find is a bunch of *f@ckbuddy* quality ho's.

 

[cocoberry10]

And if you do meet someone that wants to take you out, they assume acceptance of the date means, you owe them or they try to find an excuse to stop by their house.

Ugh, this is the most aggravating thing in the world! I just want to scream at guys like this!

 

[Cincysweetie]

Thanks again for all your input ladies. It's sad that others are going through this also, but in a strange way it is nice to know that I am not the only one.

Carmel (or anyone else with a similar experience), you stated that you stopped going over to men's houses to chill, required them to take you out...even if it was just to the park. HOW on Earth do you do that?? Did you just keep turning them down when they asked you to hang out at their place and they finally got the picture? Or did you have to let them know that you weren't just gonna sit at their place, you wanted to go out? It seems like some men I've come across think I'm high maintenance or too demanding if I want to go out!! Goodness, what has happened to the dating world??? No wonder the divorce rate is so high when people can't even get dating right!

And Mizani...I am so used to the "You're single? What's wrong with you?" questions. Right now I WANT to be single and I think that's primarly b/c I keep meeting these type of triflin guys and couldn't imagine being in a relationship with them. Right now I want to casually date...as in GO OUT, get to know a guy(s) and then see from there if I want to settle down. And then from there see if I want to have sex. But b/c I wanna follow that course of action something's gotta be wrong with me... And honestly, I made the mistake of jumping into the relationship with my ex too quickly almost a year ago and learned from that. I hardly knew him and I don't want to repeat that mistake. So for now, until I meet someone who is where I want/need him to be...I'm okay with being single. Hopefully at some point I will meet a man like your husband, understanding of my decision to remain single and not have sex at this point.

And how about the guy from yesterday...has seriouly been on me since I told him off? Apologizing, wanting to see me...but even though he MAY be sorry, I can't get over how he came at me and would rather just not go there with him...since I know how he really feels.

 

[PaperClip]

Sigh.... I tried to dodge this thread... esp. since the "chu'ch" came into the convo (how did that happen?erplexed) But yeah, there is no perfect people, a perfect church, only a perfect Lord....

Dear OP, in one of the posts, you said in a text convo dude asked you about having sex with him and you said "doubtful"... What happened to a FLAT OUT ?

They're STILL on you 'cause they DON'T BELIEVE YOU.....

And we can entertain the notion that it's your body and your choices and you can do what you want to do (and that's true) but there are consequences for our actions. When you say and MEAN IT, dudes will back off.

I'm a witness to that.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Sigh.... I tried to dodge this thread... esp. since the "chu'ch" came into the convo (how did that happen?erplexed) But yeah, there is no perfect people, a perfect church, only a perfect Lord....

Dear OP, in one of the posts, you said in a text convo dude asked you about having sex with him and you said "doubtful"... What happened to a FLAT OUT ?

They're STILL on you 'cause they DON'T BELIEVE YOU.....

And we can entertain the notion that it's your body and your choices and you can do what you want to do (and that's true) but there are consequences for our actions. When you say and MEAN IT, dudes will back off.

I'm a witness to that.

I didn't say flat out no b/c I did not take the question seriously at first. It came out of nowhere, we weren't even talking sex, I thought he was messing around so my response wasn't HELL NO HOW DARE YOU COME AT ME LIKE THAT, blah blah blah or anything on that level. I said doubtul b/c I'm a smart ass, that's just something I would say...which both he and I understood to be no b/c of his response back to me. At the time I got his response (I can't wait on you any longer, you gotta be a lesbian if you ain't f*ckin) I realized...oh, he was seriously hoping I would have sex with him this week and now he's lost his damn mind b/c I won't give it up....What the hell? It caught me off guard b/c I did not realize that he was so pressed to have sex. That's when I told him off and let him know that flat out no I am not having sex with you this week or any week b/c you can feel free to lose my # (which I did flat out tell him). If the doubtful comment wasn't clear enough to him then, it should be crystal clear now.

ETA: I think the church issue came up b/c someone was sharing their personal experience with a similar situation that just so happened to involve a person from church. Several others did say some of the same things that you brought up in regards to people in the church not being perfect...which I completely agree with. NOBODY is perfect.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

So, I just ended a flirtation with a guy over this. He wants to hit it, no strings attached. I'm a strings kinda girl. Finally tonight I made it clear that I'm not a booty call. He made it clear he wasn't looking for anything with me. So he says 'well that settles it then'. I said 'I guess so. I'm not looking to get married but I'm not looking for just sex either'. He said 'we been wasting our time'. And encouraged me to become more experienced. *** you, son. Just *** you and your well wishes.

After a year, he should know me well enough to know I am worth more than that. I'm not even sure how he could form his lips to ask or his mind to expect that from me. ARgh.

He'll probably find some chick to do him tomorrow, for no special reason other than it's Tuesday.

 

[locabouthair]

So, I just ended a flirtation with a guy over this. He wants to hit it, no strings attached. I'm a strings kinda girl. Finally tonight I made it clear that I'm not a booty call. He made it clear he wasn't looking for anything with me. So he says 'well that settles it then'. I said 'I guess so. I'm not looking to get married but I'm not looking for just sex either'. He said 'we been wasting our time'. And encouraged me to become more experienced. *** you, son. Just *** you and your well wishes.

After a year, he should know me well enough to know I am worth more than that. I'm not even sure how he could form his lips to ask or his mind to expect that from me. ARgh.

He'll probably find some chick to do him tomorrow, for no special reason other than it's Tuesday.

wow. i can't believe you've known him for a year and he has the nerve to say that to you. he did you a favor girl. you deserve better.

 

[Choclatcotton]

what ever happened to winning someone with flowers and dinner??? WOW glad Im out of the game~

 

[caligirl]

He said 'we been wasting our time'. And encouraged me to become more experienced.

No he DIDN'T! How dare him!

 

[adf23]

I said doubtul b/c I'm a smart ass, that's just something I would say...which both he and I understood to be no b/c of his response back to me. At the time I got his response (I can't wait on you any longer, you gotta be a lesbian if you ain't f*ckin) I realized...oh, he was seriously hoping I would have sex with him this week and now he's lost his damn mind b/c I won't give it up....What the hell?

Wow. Please tell me he didn't actually say these words to you.

Anyhow- with now DH I just flat out told him on about the 4th date that wasn't nothin a happenin' on the physical front, unless we were in an exclusive relationship.

In regard to avoiding the hang out date, I agree with just refusing. The earlier the hangout at home dates start happening, the earlier the possibility of something physical happening. I had times in the past of flat out saying "Actually, I would really like to go out, if that is ok". If the guy said well, umm, I can cook you dinner, NOT. Its a disguise to get me to his place. IMO, the first 5 times of seeing a man should be real dates.


If I was looked at as too high maintenance by wanting to go on a real date, when I have known you for 2 weeks, then NEXT, you aren't the one for me. And it tells me that you arent looking for any real relationship anyway. Any man that is truly looking for a relationship will wait until you are ready, and he will respect and know that starting a relationship requires time and money. In this day and age, I am not going to any man's house after a week of knowing each other, to "hang out". And he aint coming to mine. Anything could happen.

 

[Cincysweetie]

SkinnyMocah, what an ***...on the one hand you wanna be mad at ticked at him for being like that, but on the other hand...at least he was honest and didn't wanna waste your time.

Shalita...the last guy that got me dinner and flowers had a COUPLE chicks on the side. I don't even trust that anymore...but the effort would be nice!

Adf23...he flat out said that he was tired of waiting and that he "tried". He insinuated that I would prefer a woman b/c I wasn't "f*ckin" in his words. I completely agree with you about going out the first few times. I also agree that the earlier you're just chillin at the house the sooner sexual intimacy is introduced into a relationship...but it seems like a lot of men are trying to pass off "chillin" as "dating". No!! It's not the same. Thanks for the suggestions on how to avoid that.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

what ever happened to winning someone with flowers and dinner??? WOW glad Im out of the game~

Has gone the way of the dodo bird. Too many women are willing to let a dude "come over"and smash without actually going on a real date. Too many women sleeping with dudes too early and too many dudes expecting sex too early while moaning about wanting to find a woman who will make him work for it. Why should they work for it? It's simply too easy to get to work for it.

 

[deejoy]

Girl I feel you, dudes nowadays be on some ole bawlshat. Oh and Shalita, I've gotten flowers once in 5 years. I'm like damn do dudes even know how to date anymore?

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

Thanks again for all your input ladies. It's sad that others are going through this also, but in a strange way it is nice to know that I am not the only one.

Carmel (or anyone else with a similar experience), you stated that you stopped going over to men's houses to chill, required them to take you out...even if it was just to the park. HOW on Earth do you do that?? Did you just keep turning them down when they asked you to hang out at their place and they finally got the picture? Or did you have to let them know that you weren't just gonna sit at their place, you wanted to go out? It seems like some men I've come across think I'm high maintenance or too demanding if I want to go out!! Goodness, what has happened to the dating world??? No wonder the divorce rate is so high when people can't even get dating right!

And Mizani...I am so used to the "You're single? What's wrong with you?" questions. Right now I WANT to be single and I think that's primarly b/c I keep meeting these type of triflin guys and couldn't imagine being in a relationship with them. Right now I want to casually date...as in GO OUT, get to know a guy(s) and then see from there if I want to settle down. And then from there see if I want to have sex. But b/c I wanna follow that course of action something's gotta be wrong with me... And honestly, I made the mistake of jumping into the relationship with my ex too quickly almost a year ago and learned from that. I hardly knew him and I don't want to repeat that mistake. So for now, until I meet someone who is where I want/need him to be...I'm okay with being single. Hopefully at some point I will meet a man like your husband, understanding of my decision to remain single and not have sex at this point.

And how about the guy from yesterday...has seriouly been on me since I told him off? Apologizing, wanting to see me...but even though he MAY be sorry, I can't get over how he came at me and would rather just not go there with him...since I know how he really feels.

Who cares how you come off? A GOOD man will not think that...he will not mind taking you out. This is what I do...when they say "I want to see you" I saw what did you have in mind...where you trying to go?"
If a guy says when can I come by...I tell them I am busy or...I don't feel comfortable with you coming to my home...I don't know you. Yes...I get called mean...but...it works...if a guy complains about taking you out he isnt really trying to get to know you anyway...atleast not your personality.

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

I didn't say flat out no b/c I did not take the question seriously at first. It came out of nowhere, we weren't even talking sex, I thought he was messing around so my response wasn't HELL NO HOW DARE YOU COME AT ME LIKE THAT, blah blah blah or anything on that level. I said doubtul b/c I'm a smart ass, that's just something I would say...which both he and I understood to be no b/c of his response back to me. At the time I got his response (I can't wait on you any longer, you gotta be a lesbian if you ain't f*ckin) I realized...oh, he was seriously hoping I would have sex with him this week and now he's lost his damn mind b/c I won't give it up....What the hell? It caught me off guard b/c I did not realize that he was so pressed to have sex. That's when I told him off and let him know that flat out no I am not having sex with you this week or any week b/c you can feel free to lose my # (which I did flat out tell him). If the doubtful comment wasn't clear enough to him then, it should be crystal clear now.

ETA: I think the church issue came up b/c someone was sharing their personal experience with a similar situation that just so happened to involve a person from church. Several others did say some of the same things that you brought up in regards to people in the church not being perfect...which I completely agree with. NOBODY is perfect.

I don't even allow them to JOKE with me like that. He would have gotten NO response at all or I would have said..."Surely you have the wrong number...I know you are not trying to talk to me about sex" You dont have to over react and be mean...I just like to make them feel stupid.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I applaud you for sticking to your principles! I do wish more women would do the same.

Now, I hate to blame women for these trifling men, but really, I do think some of the blame lies with us. Sadly there are too many women willing to "give it up" too quickly. I can't tell you the number of times that I've heard women say something like: "well, if he takes me out and wines and dines me, I'll give him some." To me, that's totally prostitution, but many women do this. That kind of thinking is even prevalent in today's music and movies and modern pop culture. It's really sad that so many women have this mentality. It makes good women like you the target for these men. They may not be used to a woman who doesn't put out. So if they are taking you out, they are probably expecting a "return on their investment," so to speak.

I'm just thrilled that you haven't given in and you've done good for yourself. Yes, it does seem that the good girls tend to lose out. Trust me, I'm a living witness to this. However, there's one thing they can't take away from us and that's our integrity and dignity. In the end, that may be all we have to stand on.

Keep that head up, girl. You're doing fantastic!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Has gone the way of the dodo bird. Too many women are willing to let a dude "come over"and smash without actually going on a real date. Too many women sleeping with dudes too early and too many dudes expecting sex too early while moaning about wanting to find a woman who will make him work for it. Why should they work for it? It's simply too easy to get to work for it.

My point exactly!! The reason why men of this day and age are expecting sex is because they are so used to not having to work for it. If women would stop putting out so soon and make men work and actually demand respect, things would change. (Yes, this is coming from a very progressive woman.) You have to make the guy want to be with you; make him take you out and treat you like the Queen you are. If more women acted this way, there would be less do-do birds out there. I totally agree with this statement...

 

[JazzyDez]

Not to pick specifically on you jazzy, but why the heck are you still entertaining this fool? is it because he is attractive, as you said? I been here before and now i realize that if i'm still entertaining a guy AFTER HE REVEALED TO ME THAT HE ONLY WANTED THE PANTIES... then I can only blame myself after i give them up and he ain't "acting right" anymore. If you are looking for something serious, then move on... what other signs do you need?

well truthfully I don't plan on entertaining him anymore unless he shows me that he has something (besides you know what) to offer. I didn't have sex with this man and don't plan on doing so anytime soon (if at all). Its pretty much dead now anyways since I haven't returned his phone calls or text mesages. I just wish that there were more men nowadays that have a bigger target than to get in a female's pants.

 

[janiebaby]

I know I'm the odd one out and 9 times out of 10 I take the side of women because I know few will even fellow women so I'll offer my take on a solution (very quickly because I'm off to lunch).

I think that more women need to school other women on the game and I mean men's "game" and women's "game". I think too many women have a "I got mine so you get yours cause I'm out the game" mentality or a "I ain't got mine yet so I'm not gonna help you get yours mentality". Men school each other (whether it's right or wrong) and they hardly ever let us in on game.

I think women should help each other become stronger and more educated about life in general without making the generalizations that "Men are dogs" or "Women are h*es". I think that many women are misguided and don't know what to do. Call it stupid, slow or what have you the fact remains that they still don't know what to do or how to go about it doing it.

Some women will say take pride in yourself which is a very true statement but how?
Some women may say you teach men how to treat you, well what can we do to make them treat us differently?

Women need to be walked through things and the same people that claim that they don't have time to do it are the same people wasting their breath on "if women did this" instead of teaching women what the game is like out here.

There are alot of single mothers out here, alot of older women with boyfriends, alot of daughters, nieces, grandbabies and what have you learning game from tv and radio instead of having real sistahs like the ones on this board teaching them what to do and how to do it.

I love topics like these where women offer their advice as well as the ones like the "goddess" thread because alot of real women are giving great invaluable real advice.

I love the LHCF ladies!

 

[JazzyDez]

Wow. Please tell me he didn't actually say these words to you.

Anyhow- with now DH I just flat out told him on about the 4th date that wasn't nothin a happenin' on the physical front, unless we were in an exclusive relationship.

In regard to avoiding the hang out date, I agree with just refusing. The earlier the hangout at home dates start happening, the earlier the possibility of something physical happening. I had times in the past of flat out saying "Actually, I would really like to go out, if that is ok". If the guy said well, umm, I can cook you dinner, NOT. Its a disguise to get me to his place. IMO, the first 5 times of seeing a man should be real dates.


If I was looked at as too high maintenance by wanting to go on a real date, when I have known you for 2 weeks, then NEXT, you aren't the one for me. And it tells me that you arent looking for any real relationship anyway. Any man that is truly looking for a relationship will wait until you are ready, and he will respect and know that starting a relationship requires time and money. In this day and age, I am not going to any man's house after a week of knowing each other, to "hang out". And he aint coming to mine. Anything could happen.

I totally agree. I try to avoid the "at home date" thing. Or I at least try to make it a causual hang out by bringing my friends (with his friends there). But unfortunately for me that didn't even work. I brought 2 of my friends over there to chill (with dude I was talking about earlier) and his roomates. This man is over there sticking out his tounge to me on the sly. And of course he asked me to go to his room but I declined. And this was only our 2nd time chilling together after we met.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I agree with what you stated, janiebaby, but all we have is to address the situation head on and do our best to overcome. If 75% of the men we are meeting are expecting us to put out just because they do something nice for us, one way we can address this is to remain true to ourselves, just like this young lady is doing. The best we can do is seek out that 25% of men who are treating women right and who are doing the right things. Bottom line, I wish that we would date now like we did 25 years ago. But that's not the way the world is right now. So we work with what we got. And the best thing we can do in this day and age is stay true to our personal morals and who we are. Really, that's the best advice I can give. If most women are giving the advice that it's o.k. to sleep with men if they take you out or do something nice for you (which they should already be doing), then that's the prevaling message and you try to do whatever you can to address the issue by fighting against it. I'm glad to see that there are young women who are fighting and succeeding. I like to see that women have self-respect and refuse to compromise any of that.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I totally agree. I try to avoid the "at home date" thing. Or I at least try to make it a causual hang out by bringing my friends (with his friends there). But unfortunately for me that didn't even work. I brought 2 of my friends over there to chill (with dude I was talking about earlier) and his roomates. This man is over there sticking out his tounge to me on the sly. And of course he asked me to go to his room but I declined. And this was only our 2nd time chilling together after we met.

Now, see, here's great advice to live by, especially in this day and age where casual dating can be dangerous. My pastor used to tell us that it's o.k. to date but men will read into things if they are invited to a woman's house or they invite a woman to their house. This may be one way to wart off unwanted advances. It may be old-fashioned in a sense, but if I was trying to protect myself from that, my dates would take place in public venues until I got to know the men better. An older gentleman told me yesterday that there's nothing wrong with having coffee/tea dates. That way there are no expectations on either side. The male hasn't spend too much money, thereby expecting a "return on his investment," it's safe, and the woman would feel better about the date. Coffee/tea dates also allow for more focused conversations as well.

 

[janiebaby]

An older gentleman told me yesterday that there's nothing wrong with having coffee/tea dates. That way there are no expectations on either side. The male hasn't spend too much money, thereby expecting a "return on his investment," it's safe, and the woman would feel better about the date. Coffee/tea dates also allow for more focused conversations as well.

Wow this is great advice!

This thread should be a sticky!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Wow this is great advice!

This thread should be a sticky!

I know. He's a great guy and I ask him about male advice all the time. He's now married after years of being in the single life and making all the wrong mistakes. I wonder if we can learn from men like him who once were "in the game," but have now matured and learned from how they used to be.

ETA: He told me that while courting women that he once spent nearly $1,000 in 10 days dating. And is wasn't rich at the time, either. He said that whether men admit it or not, that's a lot of money that goes to waste on dates that don't lead to relationships. And that's when he suggested that at least for the first several dates, it's better to do these coffe/tea excursions. That way, you haven't lost much when it doesn't work out. Let's say you're at a dinner situation and you already know that this person isn't right for you or that there's no chemistry. Well, you're already "stuck" in that situation and it's difficult to get out. You've then spent time with someone that you know is not right. You've spent money and effort on conversation. Now, let's say you go out on a coffee/tea date. There's no harm done, not too much time or money spent on that date. You could just drink your one cup of coffee/tea and then the date is over. I think it's a fantastic idea. Sadly, I think most women are accustomed to the dinner date and expect that from a man. There's also nothing wrong with a "walk in the park" date where a woman has much more control. She could either suggest coffee/tea/dinner if the vibe is right. I love this man's advice!

 

[janiebaby]

Hmm, I wonder if a bookstore date would be too hokie

 

[PaperClip]

Hmm, I wonder if a bookstore date would be too hokie

Um... bookstore/library dates are the BOMB!!!! I love me an intelligent, well-read, well-spoken man (with integrity, of course!)

 

[FeelinIt]

Hmm, I wonder if a bookstore date would be too hokie

You know what I don't get? Why don't men like that just get a hookah?

I mean think about it this way, if their only intention was to get some and they are looking at dinner or a couple of drinks as an investment with a hope of a huge return, then why not just skip all if the hoopla and get a professionally trained "adult" technician....LOL!

It's just so illogical.

Why get directions to the corner store. In other words, why go through all of that trouble when all you really wanted was a piece?

Men are dumb.....LOL

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Well, sadly many men don't think with the right "head."Seriously, though for me, if a guy wanted to meet at the bookstore there would be nothing more sexually stimulating than that. I'd better be careful cuz the panties would probably come off if he were too smart.