Ugh

zzirvingj

zzirvingj

New Member
So my birthday is soon....my birthday is so close to Valentine's Day that most people aren't able to celebrate it with me the weekend of my actual birthday. So this year I'm planning a small get together the weekend AFTER my birthday: going to the shooting range, followed by dinner (maybe go out somewhere afterwards).

So I'm just about to call and put a deposit down for the gun range 'party' and one of my closest friends texts me asking if she can invite her boyfriend too. She's married (separated) and I've met the guy before...he seems cool and all....but she and I haven't seen each other in a couple of months even though we live in the same city so I was looking forward to spending my birthday with her and a few other close friends. There will be 1-2 guy friends of mine that may tag along to either the gun range or dinner....but neither of them nor any of my female friends are bringing significant others.

*sigh*

Bottom line: I just wanna say 'nah, leave your man at home' :look::blush::rolleyes: LOL Am I wrong??
 
I would tell her exactly what you said here, you haven't seen her in awhile and would like to spend your bday with just her and a few other close friends. I wouldn't feel about about it at all. She was wrong for even asking IMO.
 
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It's your day and you should be able to have whoever YOU choose there to celebrate it.

I mean, WTH? She can't leave her husband, who I'm assuming she sees every day at home for one night?

SMDH. I would say no and not feel any way about it.
 
MzLady78 said:
It's your day and you should be able to have whoever YOU choose there to celebrate it.

I mean, WTH? She can't leave her husband, who I'm assuming she sees every day at home for one night?

SMDH. I would say no and not feel any way about it.
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She's married but she isn't bringing her husband...it's her boyfriend. She separated from her husband several months ago.
 
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Ok can I just open up and be real honest right about now?

I'm recovering from a SERIOUS broken heart. And I just don't wanna be around 'couples' right now. I feel horrible for admitting that, I do. But....

:ohwell:
 
I don't think you have to let her know your real reason, just let her know that you would love to see just her and that it is not a couple thing. She really should understand. Or maybe say you and a couple of girls. People who can take a hint know not to bring their SO.
 
zzirvingj said:
She's married but she isn't bringing her husband...it's her boyfriend. She separated from her husband several months ago.
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Oh ok, I misread.

He can still stay his a** home, though, especially reading your post about not wanting to do the couples thing. I've totally been there.
 
Well I totally understand how you feel. If this was indeed an all-girls get together or just you and her, it would be easy to say sorry but it's just us girls. But since there will be guys there (your male friends) it's a little more tricky IMO. I would just say no problem and let it go. Get together with just her some other time. Even though she has a bf it sounds like she's been through a lot too. I would cut her some slack. Heads up to the rest of the crew though to not bring dates:). I think your plans sound awesome and I think you are going to have so much fun with your other friends you won't even notice the "couple" much. I wish I could go to a party like that :yep:. You are going to have a great time.
 
MzLady78 said:
Oh ok, I misread.

He can still stay his a** home, though, especially reading your post about not wanting to do the couples thing. I've totally been there.
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:lachen: He really can :lol:. OP do what feels most right to you. I think your plans sound like so much fun and are so guy-friendly she couldn't resist. I really wish she hadn't put you in this spot though.
 
hopeful said:
:lachen: He really can :lol:. OP do what feels most right to you. I think your plans sound like so much fun and are so guy-friendly she couldn't resist. I really wish she hadn't put you in this spot though.
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I wouldn't think to invite anyone, male or female, to come along with me unless it was stated by the person that I could.

And I'm assuming that this friend at least has some idea about what ZZ is going through, why would she think she wants to spend her night watching her hugged up with her man?
 
MzLady78 said:
I wouldn't think to invite anyone, male or female, to come along with me unless it was stated by the person that I could.

And I'm assuming that this friend at least has some idea about what ZZ is going through, why would she think she wants to spend her night watching her hugged up with her man?
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I don't think the friend is that deep though. She is separated and has a new bf so I think she is just wrapped up in her stuff and not thinking it would make the OP feel bad. I doubt it even crossed her mind. She's just thinking it's a group of friends, we're going out to eat, and have fun. What's the big deal? Like I think she would be hurt to know how the OP feels. I think she would be like but you know what my dh put me through, I'm finally happy, why aren't you happy for me? With all that said ZZ has every right to say no. But she's conflicted and may feel bad if she tells her friend no, and annoyed if he comes. Between a rock and a hard place.
 
I agree with telling her its no SOs. Even though you do have guys coming, they are your friends and they arent bringing girlfriends
 
hopeful said:
I don't think the friend is that deep though. She is separated and has a new bf so I think she is just wrapped up in her stuff and not thinking it would make the OP feel bad. I doubt it even crossed her mind. She's just thinking it's a group of friends, we're going out to eat, and have fun. What's the big deal? Like I think she would be hurt to know how the OP feels. I think she would be like but you know what my dh put me through, I'm finally happy, why aren't you happy for me? With all that said ZZ has every right to say no. But she's conflicted and may feel bad if she tells her friend no, and annoyed if he comes. Between a rock and a hard place.
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Yea, I think you hit the nail on the head with most of your comments here about my friend...I really don't think she's even thinking about it like that.

And that is how I feel, like being between a rock and a hard place right now. She doesn't know, but the price I quoted everyone to go to the range is based on me paying part of their admission (I wanted it to be affordable for everyone so I quoted them a price cheaper than it's actually costing because I'm paying for part of each person's admission).

Anyways I'm not gonna respond to her text tonight, I'm gonna sleep on it I guess.
 
ladysaraii said:
I agree with telling her its no SOs. Even though you do have guys coming, they are your friends and they arent bringing girlfriends
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Yea, that is truly what I feel like saying.

She's most likely spending this coming weekend/V-day time with him so I don't see what the big deal about leaving him home would be the following weekend.
 
zzirvingj said:
Ok can I just open up and be real honest right about now?

I'm recovering from a SERIOUS broken heart. And I just don't wanna be around 'couples' right now. I feel horrible for admitting that, I do. But....

:ohwell:
Click to expand...

((HUGS))


Tell her you wanted it to be an all girls thing. She should understand.
 
So I decided to tell her it's okay to bring him. She's one of my closest friends and I don't want her feelings to be hurt. Although I was hoping we'd be able to 'shoot the breeze' so to speak and talk about some things we hadn't had a chance to catch up on, we can do that some other time.
 
zzirvingj said:
So I decided to tell her it's okay to bring him. She's one of my closest friends and I don't want her feelings to be hurt. Although I was hoping we'd be able to 'shoot the breeze' so to speak and talk about some things we hadn't had a chance to catch up on, we can do that some other time.
Click to expand...

You can also let her know that she is the only one bringing a date, in case she wants to reconsider... Most guys I know would not want to be there.
 
What I would have done is say its friends only to my birthday party, but we can set up something where I meet her bf another time.
 
Keen said:
You can also let her know that she is the only one bringing a date, in case she wants to reconsider... Most guys I know would not want to be there.
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Yea, I will let her know that. She already saw the names of everyone on the email I sent an invite to, so she may actually already know.
 
Vanthie said:
What I would have done is say its friends only to my birthday party, but we can set up something where I meet her bf another time.
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I've already met him before.

She and the new BF are really close and I think she just wants him to be there is all.
 
Well now you can get back to you, your birthday, and your party. I hope you have a blast and I pray your broken heart heals soon.
 
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