Turning him down POLITELY actually bothered him????

[Hairsnob]

A guy walked up to me in the market yesterday and didn't waste any time asking me out. He said hello, are you in a relationship or anything because I'd like to take you out. He was NOWHERE near my type so I said yes, I'm in a relationship but thank you anyway. He rolled his eyes and said why do women say thank you when you're turning a man down? I said, well I was saying thank you for asking (kinda like no-thank you). He didn't buy it and just went on saying something about well, would you have went out with me anyway if you weren't in a relationship? I said yes, and he walked away happy saying that he feels better now (jokingly).

This is my question, isn't that the appropriate\polite thing to say to spare his feelings? He wasn't rude or anything or else I wouldn't even care.

I ask because I know there are things that guys do/say that we hate and they probably don't realize it. But do you ladies say the same thing I said (thank you anyway) when you're turning a man down??? Or was he just a weirdo??? LOL

 

[SweetNic_JA]

This goes to show that you can't please everybody. This guy is definitely an outlier. Usually guys will just say "Oh well he is a lucky man to have you" and keep it moving.

 

[Hairsnob]

This goes to show that you can't please everybody. This guy is definitely an outlier. Usually guys will just say "Oh well he is a lucky man to have you" and keep it moving.

Thanks, you're so right. But what is an outlier???

 

[hopeful]

Yes, he is a weirdo. He wanted to make you feel bad because you made him feel bad. The only thing that would have made him feel good would have been you saying yes. He was turning the tables on you, so to speak, trying to regain control of the situation and make you second-guess yourself. You didn't do anything wrong.

 

[meesch]

op, i just smile and shake my head, refusing to talk or give any other kind of reaction, because they seem to take it as an invitation to press you for more, like this guy did. no matter what you say youre opening yourself up for their reaction (which is often negative either way, even if its sort of polite like in your case) so just try not to even give them the opportunity.

 

[Hairsnob]

Yes, he is a weirdo. He wanted to make you feel bad because you made him feel bad. The only thing that would have made him feel good would have been you saying yes. He was turning the tables on you, so to speak, trying to regain control of the situation and make you second-guess yourself. You didn't do anything wrong.

Oh, so that was part of the game. Why would you want a woman who said she was in a relationship anyway? How lame!! Guys kill me with that because if they didn't care about you in a relaitonshp then it tells you what they're only looking for. Uggh!

Thanks!

op, i just smile and shake my head, refusing to talk or give any other kind of reaction, because they seem to take it as an invitation to press you for more, like this guy did. no matter what you say youre opening yourself up for their reaction (which is often negative either way, even if its sort of polite like in your case) so just try not to even give them the opportunity.

You're right, and he sure did keep pressing. I'm not going to give it a second thought anymore and keep answering that way.

Thanks!

 

[IMFOCSD]

Men are crazy sometimes and they cant stand rejection..after turning down a man(nicely) I have been called...stuck up, u was ugly anyway, u look like a man anyway, u a BI***, F you, etc..smdh

 

[Hairsnob]

Men are crazy sometimes and they cant stand rejection..after turning down a man(nicely) I have been called...stuck up, u was ugly anyway, u look like a man anyway, u a BI***, F you, etc..smdh

They don't even realize how stupid they sound when they say stuff like that. Imagine if you actually did give those stupid kinds like that your time.

Thanks!

 

[DarkJoy]

Men are crazy sometimes and they cant stand rejection..after turning down a man(nicely) I have been called...stuck up, u was ugly anyway, u look like a man anyway, u a BI***, F you, etc..smdh

Ugh, had this happen so many times that I still get nervous turning down a man who asks me out on the fly.

OP, your guy was a weirdo just like these rude ones. He should have just kept it moving. What a creep.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Should you just cuss him out when they ask then?

 

[awhyley]

Its not the politeness, but the turning down that made him upset, and that you can't control. It's not your problem. KIM.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Thanks, you're so right. But what is an outlier???

An anomaly . He is not normal. He may actually have some pent up abandonment and rejection issues.

 

[growth2come]

Most of the time I dont even have to say much. They will come up and ask for a my name then go on about wanting go out. My usual line is: "I dont think my boyfriend would appreciate me dating someone else" Single by way.

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

I had a guy approach me I told him (in the sweetest voice possible) that I had a bf and wasn't interested. He gave me the biggest stank face I'd ever seen lol. Then told me I didn't have to say it like that.....but I was nice about it.