Showing Him That You Need Him.

[summertimewine]

Noooo! It's soooo hard. For real. I don't know if you watch Scandal but Mellie was having a hard time not being a know-it-all/smarta$$ and I understood completely. It hurts when I have to play dumb on anything (are y'all understanding more why I'm single lmao). If it's legit something I don't know then I'll fess up. But if I know ANYTHING about it then I say so. It's difficult for me to vulnerable/give up control.

So in the situation you posted I would have told him straight up that I knew what they meant and that I had made an appointment with my mechanic or was going to later this week. And if he would have offered to check for me it would have taken A LOT of convincing (does he REALLY know cars? For how long? Has he ever effed up a car?) for me to say yes.

I say thank you to men who do stuff for me like open doors or take heavy stuff, but I rarely ask them to do it. They'll usually say no anyway. So it's a pleasant surprise when someone does it for me.

You're so funny!!! One of my friends is the exact same way! She has a really hard time with what I call "keeping it cute". We would go to bars and strike up conversations and she would almost always throw up information like it was vital to her life.
I'm just the opposite. I really don't like people knowing how smart I am. I know how smart I am but sometimes engaging people by asking questions about what they think they are smart in will create strong personal and social bonds. That's what I prefer. I prefer to have a strong social crowd than people who know I know stuff.

Also I don't automatically assume my SO is insulting my intelligence or seeing how smart I am by asking "Do you know what this means?"

 

[summertimewine]

Loooool and this entire post would be me! Lol. Exactly. Why I gotta dumb myself down to get what I want

I think of it like this: Men are just stupid. I'm just speaking to them on their primal level. Men should want to provide, protect, and conquer. So I just frame all of my situations into these terms and the natural instinct will take over for them.

 

[PrissiSippi]

You're so funny!!! One of my friends is the exact same way! She has a really hard time with what I call "keeping it cute". We would go to bars and strike up conversations and she would almost always throw up information like it was vital to her life.
I'm just the opposite. I really don't like people knowing how smart I am. I know how smart I am but sometimes engaging people by asking questions about what they think they are smart in will create strong personal and social bonds. That's what I prefer. I prefer to have a strong social crowd than people who know I know stuff.

Also I don't automatically assume my SO is insulting my intelligence or seeing how smart I am by asking "Do you know what this means?"

Lol and that grinds my gears. I'm petty. My husband has a habit of saying this phrase "Well let me put it like this" I HATE that! Like I can ask him how exactly does an alternator work. "well lemme put it like this" in my head that means lemme put it in a simple way so she will understand. I'm like oh brother here we go again

But yeah I'm working on that toning it down so he can lead and provide thing. A lot.

 

[aviddiva77]

I think of it like this: Men are just stupid. I'm just speaking to them on their primal level. Men should want to provide, protect, and conquer. So I just frame all of my situations into these terms and the natural instinct will take over for them.

 

[qchelle]

Lol and that grinds my gears. I'm petty. My husband has a habit of saying this phrase "Well let me put it like this" I HATE that! Like I can ask him how exactly does an alternator work. "well lemme put it like this" in my head that means lemme put it in a simple way so she will understand. I'm like oh brother here we go again

But yeah I'm working on that toning it down so he can lead and provide thing. A lot.

I'm petty, too.

If I'm driving with a man, and I got lights on my dash, and he come at me with "do you see the lights? They're there. See 'em? Ok. So do you know what they mean?" I be done ran the car into the nearest grassy ditch. Oops, sorry I forgot how to drive right quick. Or, if he's driving and I'm riding shotty, I be done changed gears like oops, my bad I ain't know what that was for my bad. You think I'm stupid? Yea, you have no idea how stupid I am. You bout to find out tho.

I also don't like when men I just met ask me "so, can you cook" ..................nicca. We've already established that I'm a single adult human. Wtf do you think is going on? Do I look like I eat out everyday? What are you trying to say? Do you think im stupid? Ain't nobody cooking for your ass, so stfu there's no need to ever ask me that.

"So, do you have problems paying your bills on time?" "So, do you have any money?" I be done put all my bills in his name nicca just give me the money and stfu.

I will take your money allllllllllll day. You can do everything for me. Everything. And I will readily, easily, graciously show my gratitude. Do not insult me in the process, or I will be petty You don't have to insult me to feel like a man. Really, you don't. It's unnecessary.

 

[qchelle]

I have a project I'm working on right now and I'm working with a general contractor. When we're together and he's working on something, he has a tendency to preface things with "do you what this means/is?" And no, I don't. Am I a general contractor *****? Why would I know that?

This is why I think the idea of 'emasculation' is hilarious. Like men need to calm down with that ****. A lot of what people call emasculation is usually basic ****ing consideration that transcends the sexes. Like she yells at me, raises her voice to me, talks to me like I'm stupid and incapable, her tone is just all the way ****ed up. And Im a man, so I shouldn't be talked to like that. Biiiiiiitch nicca no. Nobody wants to be talked to like that. Your girl is just MEAN to you. That's why you don't like it. It's straight mean. If you were mean to her, she wouldn't like that **** neither.

I'M SINGLE AF

 

[PrissiSippi]

I'm petty, too.

If I'm driving with a man, and I got lights on my dash, and he come at me with "do you see the lights? They're there. See 'em? Ok. So do you know what they mean?" I be done ran the car into the nearest grassy ditch. Oops, sorry I forgot how to drive right quick. Or, if he's driving and I'm riding shotty, I be done changed gears like oops, my bad I ain't know what that was for my bad. You think I'm stupid? Yea, you have no idea how stupid I am. You bout to find out tho.

I also don't like when men I just met ask me "so, can you cook" ..................nicca. We've already established that I'm a single adult human. Wtf do you think is going on? Do I look like I eat out everyday? What are you trying to say? Do you think im stupid? Ain't nobody cooking for your ass, so stfu there's no need to ever ask me that.

"So, do you have problems paying your bills on time?" "So, do you have any money?" I be done put all my bills in his name nicca just give me the money and stfu.

I will take your money allllllllllll day. You can do everything for me. Everything. And I will readily, easily, graciously show my gratitude. Do not insult me in the process, or I will be petty You don't have to insult me to feel like a man. Really, you don't. It's unnecessary.

This whole post has me like el oh el girl!!!

 

[CaraWalker]

I'M SINGLE.

EYE wouldn't have responded super positively to "do you know what the lights on the dashboard of your car are?" umm it's my car. I drive it, don't I? you think I'm just out here diving everyday, don't know nothing about my car? What you think was happening before you, o savior? So, in your mind, ima basically die if you don't help me with my car? And this pleases you (him)? nah.

I would've responded very positively if he had just offered to fix it. "Oh, I see your dash is lit. I'll take care of it" cool! Please do. Thanks! But dont insult me and call me stupid in the process. Just fix it and shut up

I'M SINGLE

Eta: I guess I don't like the implication behind: she has no clue about basic ish, so I have to save her, and it makes me feel good to do so. I'd much rather it center: I know you're capable and I can articulate that to you, but here, I'll do it so you won't have to worry about it, and it makes me feel good to do so.

guy offered to change my oil yesterday. I was like "really? omg youre so helpful!"

did I pass or fail?

 

[Ajna]

I'M SINGLE.

EYE wouldn't have responded super positively to "do you know what the lights on the dashboard of your car are?" umm it's my car. I drive it, don't I? you think I'm just out here diving everyday, don't know nothing about my car? What you think was happening before you, o savior? So, in your mind, ima basically die if you don't help me with my car? And this pleases you (him)? nah.

I would've responded very positively if he had just offered to fix it. "Oh, I see your dash is lit. I'll take care of it" cool! Please do. Thanks! But dont insult me and call me stupid in the process. Just fix it and shut up

I'M SINGLE

Eta: I guess I don't like the implication behind: she has no clue about basic ish, so I have to save her, and it makes me feel good to do so. I'd much rather it center: I know you're capable and I can articulate that to you, but here, I'll do it so you won't have to worry about it, and it makes me feel good to do so.

This is me all day long

 

[caribeandiva]

I understand your fear of being vulnerable but worrying about someone letting you down has never kept it from happening has it? When has worrying ever kept bad things from happening?

Oooh... That's deep!